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THREAD, motherfuckers!
Anyone got anything faintly interesting planned for this weekend? You're allowed to say "No, I am Norman NoMates" if you would otherwise be disqualified from answering.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:32, archived)
A significant chunk of my wife's family are coming over for cake
it will be baby chat for many, many hours
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:33, archived)
Are you not still on your deathbed then?

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
I still have rivers of gunk coming out of my face
but I think I'm gonna pull through
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:40, archived)
Well, there's still a chance of a nasty relapse.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:42, archived)
fingers crossed

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:43, archived)

Well, there's still a chance of a nasty re Your face looks like a baboon's pro
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:56, archived)

g sp

lol
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:50, archived)
if the spunk was this colour, I'd be genuinely concerned for their testicular health

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
There's still time to tape that hose to your exhaust pipe in the garage and seppuku your way out of this.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
Why would he bother going to the trouble with the car if he is going to gut himself?

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:39, archived)
It's to maximise the Finnan haddie flavour of his corpse, duh.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)
easier to use my intestines for smoked sausages

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:43, archived)
You ain't even a samurai, you're not worthy of harakiri

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:48, archived)
fuck off, weeaboo

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:55, archived)
I had to google that, I'm not sure having an interest in history and reading qualifies me tho

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 14:01, archived)
and gigapuddi videos

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 14:04, archived)
Gonna get turbo lashed and watch the rugby with sheepy.
He just text me "gak 😤"
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:34, archived)
He's after a serious shoeing.
Also: solid weekending here.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:35, archived)
Sunday is a write off by all accounts I reckon

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)
textbook sheepy!

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:37, archived)
We've got a load of painkillers left over from when ladypig had her operation.
So he's picking up 100 tramadol and a box or two of amitryptiline from me while he's here.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:40, archived)
Hark at Jordan Belfort over here.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:42, archived)
wowzers, rave safe m8

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:55, archived)
I won't be touching the prescription stuff.
He's mostly taking it off me as they won't prescribe him serious stuff as he has no fixed abode living on a narrowboat and he has back issues.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
good lad
stay away from that shit, it's a bad road to go down
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:05, archived)
Yeah, I'm wary of it,
Here horror stories about people getting really messed up.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:06, archived)
You only have to look at the state of rural America
Fuck that shit
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:10, archived)
It's as if there was a good reason for it only being available under qualified medical supervision!

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Yes
My brother and sister are coming over on Sunday, really looking forward to that.

Kid from 5:30pm 2moz, might take her out to dinner or watch a film and get pizzas
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:36, archived)
Sounds like a plan alright.
I'm going to Dunkirk tomorrow with a friend to watch pissed-up people in drag bump into each other in the snow.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:40, archived)
My dad is 80 tomorrow, might give him a card or saink I suppose

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:41, archived)
Bag of Werther's Originals.
Sorted.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:43, archived)
I thought he carked it a while back

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:44, archived)
Nah, hasn't left the house in 2 years tho since his stroke

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:49, archived)
I'm fucking dreading the decline of my parents

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:54, archived)
My mum died 20 odd years ago, my dad has wanted to die since then really, he's not been that lucky , still my kids love him

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:58, archived)
That was what my grandmother was like
Her husband died in '84 and she just didn't really want to be around any more after that - but only croaked last year. It was awful.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:03, archived)
burgers with zadie smith and doc brown

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:44, archived)
You have been banned from /r/thisthread.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:44, archived)
Muff guffs and fanny trumps

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:53, archived)
go out in the midday sun

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 12:55, archived)
Shit, if only Melania would change her name to Fanny
I would, literally, never tire of hearing about her on the news.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:01, archived)

😆💨
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:27, archived)
Got a cousin coming round for a drink tomorrow
Not much apart from that.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:08, archived)
Right y'are.

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:15, archived)
We're going to see Amadeus at the National Theatre tomorrow evening
May have lunch at Zeitgeist first - schnitzel & beer always good.

Sunday night have tickets for Jonny & The Baptists
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:13, archived)
Wow, actual plans involving organisation and actually going out and stuff.
Are you one of those professional weekenders?
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:16, archived)

ee an
end
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:24, archived)
Professional wanker?
No, just an enthusiastic amateur. Keen as mustard though.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:32, archived)

week B
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:31, archived)
See reply above

(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
Oh, yeah,
off to the dentists in a couple of hours.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:33, archived)
I really like working in this office - nice view of Senate House
it's warm, dry, the lights work and I like the people but they don't have that many toilets. It's not too much of an issue until everyone wants their post-lunch mid-afternoon shit. Then it's like a rush for the lifeboats on a sinking ship.
(, Fri 9 Feb 2018, 13:50, archived)