I've been on the swings.Fuck yous all.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 May 2012, 14:55,
archived)
I've just chucked a few things in my skipThe guy across the road found a TV in his skip the other morning.
Any skip stories out there?
(
magnum, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:03,
archived)
or thiswww.telegraph.co.uk/culture/art/9252101/New-art-sculpture-in-Brighton-a-used-skip.html
(
magnum, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:10,
archived)
I've hired a skip a few times.not sure if it was the same one.
true story that.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:16,
archived)
it was sort of skip sized.like a skip.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:28,
archived)
I don't give a fuck, that is is NOT art. That is spunking money up a wall and taking the piss.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:29,
archived)
Art in "self-indulgent bourgeois waste of money" shocker.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:29,
archived)
It shows how morally bankrupt the buyer is, to buy it in behalf of whoever they represent in order to rape the grant of it's primary asset.And how morally bankrupt, or deluded, the 'artist' is in order to call himself by that proffesion.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 15:52,
archived)
when i dont understand something i try not to imagine that i do because thats where ignorance and bigotry come from(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:08,
archived)
Hi, my name's Pops, welcome to the internet. I hope you have a good time.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:13,
archived)
I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TIME:(
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:18,
archived)
OH MY DEAR SWEET GOBBO !Why, my darling, is that? Tell me, how is your penis usage at the moment?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:20,
archived)
i use it daily for a number of tasks(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:26,
archived)
Succesfully?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:31,
archived)
I've just lost a lot of respect for you(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:13,
archived)
I do really gluedgot a multipack of Skips on the go at the moment as it happens. Just wanted to make a crisp joke.
(
magnum, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:18,
archived)
oh thank god(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:19,
archived)
I used to have the job of barrowing hardcore and soil into the skip on building projectswhich meant running with the barrow up the scaffold board to the edge of the skip, timing the hops and jolting the barrow upright so that you tipped it onto its nose and dumped the contents from the very edge of the ramp.
I got it wrong and fell in quite a few times. YBF material, right there.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:03,
archived)
I've bought a beard trimmer and it goes from 5-18mmit currently ranges from 25-30mm, what is the optimum length for attracting the sex?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:16,
archived)
"you shall have my bow""and my axe"
...
"and my hymen"
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:26,
archived)
according to this sitewww.hintsandthings.co.uk/nursery/heights.htm
I could hide a 2yr old under that, are you calling me a paedo?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:57,
archived)
I trim mine down to an eighth of an inch once a week.It doesn't take it down to an eighth though on account of the direction of the hair and the thoroughly slipshod way I do it. Probably more like 3/16ths. Hope this helps. Apologies for the delay. I just baked some bread and planted some blackcurrants.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:44,
archived)
I can't deal with this devil may care imperial primpingfor all I know that is the length for maintaining the sex
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:53,
archived)
2mmsorry dude :(
(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:49,
archived)
that's alright, I can do 10mm then go over the offcuts with 8mmthen return it after a clean shave with PVA
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:56,
archived)
the avengers is rubbish, 4 out of 10, would not bother(
mongychops, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:36,
archived)
yeah, but doesn't it make fat greasy virgins think that Scarlet Johansson likes comic books, and will therefore sleep with them?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:54,
archived)
so it should satisfy anyone on here who's under 30.If you're over 30 and reading comics, just fucking kill yourself now.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 16:54,
archived)
I'd rather put sgt chub up her bum than yours(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:03,
archived)
I really need to get off my tochkhus and go picture house to see that.I've just been really lazy about it.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:19,
archived)
He's totally dissing your opinion here.I'd chib the cunt.
(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 May 2012, 17:45,
archived)
ORGANIC CAFFINE(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:13,
archived)
You don't even have organic breasts.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 May 2012, 19:18,
archived)
But I got a free picture house pass ! (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 18:08,
archived)
Afternoon all!Are you watching the football?
I'm going to Wembley next week. I have a spare ticket if you want to come.
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:06,
archived)
have you no real life friends to take?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:10,
archived)
well why did you buy an extra ticket then?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:13,
archived)
I'd goas long as it's in the Blackpool end
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:21,
archived)
anway, I'm off to work now£38 if you want it, cheers.
(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:26,
archived)
once a year planearm turns off his tv and supports blackpool(
mongychops, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:22,
archived)
bet your looking forward to them losing so you can beat the cunts next season(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:21,
archived)
yeah, loads of hammers fans round here too, dirty east london cunts(
mongychops, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:25,
archived)
hoping we spank Fulham and the Arse get a draw today(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:31,
archived)
4th spot is dodgy, don't want to have to bank on chelsea losing the final(
mongychops, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:48,
archived)
No, I'm in the office. Having far too much fun.(
Frisbee OG wanker, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:43,
archived)
My friend found a thinghttps://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/533327_10151740210050002_904710001_24247516_155296865_n.jpg
anyone know what it is?
(
DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:18,
archived)
It's a thing for thinging things.(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:20,
archived)
It's a whatchamucallit.(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sun 13 May 2012, 10:43,
archived)
I've got to be honest,I prefer the sitcom quiz.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 13 May 2012, 10:51,
archived)
This is the A Capella version of "lil manors " according to Siri. Call Lezley Maxis colleague why is it that Newcastle had bad you do not have scuffles doggedly demob articulate Toscana dog that it was stupid's got sulphite and you'll be the Charlcot available with politics and all I sulkily risk April Fools' Day Porgy ran all you'll just another brick in the wall with Burger King is called useful as well as cosmic call haunting tolltakers of the 'advice… Regarding the papers catalytic is hello B brickbat a little total strangers atheistical need to get in both cases here with all that she can live so upset DDPA little finger on the phyletic band I have to say I want to lurking there is no reason why we are here Monarchians are welcome blah blah Fairlie, LLLU
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:53,
archived)
We all hate iPhones and we all hate the cunts that use them.(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sun 13 May 2012, 11:10,
archived)
I have no IdeaI assume its for self defence against garden gnomes though
(
willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:31,
archived)
it's clearly a bear in a clown costume(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:39,
archived)
ever seen a clown in a bear costume?it'll blow your mind.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:49,
archived)
in a clown costume?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:51,
archived)
it's a link.a badly copied fucking link.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:48,
archived)
Properly wankerish bottle opener.I don't fucking know.
(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 13 May 2012, 11:54,
archived)
Yeah man, it's pretty good.(
BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:03,
archived)
it's almost certainly owned by some sort of cunt.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 13 May 2012, 11:58,
archived)
I'm going to guess a shitcunt.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 12:13,
archived)
I've yet to hear back from the coop, i may need to email again(
mongychops, Sun 13 May 2012, 12:52,
archived)
they're running scared mongy, they know they've fucked up.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sun 13 May 2012, 13:09,
archived)
It's a tool for making holes in snake-like water creatures(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 May 2012, 21:13,
archived)
pushing it down the board out of bettertudewho thinks im better than anything and if so what
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 May 2012, 2:54,
archived)
you're taller and handsomer and cleverercheers
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 May 2012, 2:54,
archived)
oh yeah, nine rashers in my eight pack of bacon(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 9:30,
archived)
What happened was, a pig tried to escape the slaughterhouseso the owner strung him up, looked him in the eyes and said "you want out? I'll give you out, free of charge, no questions asked."
Then he killed him, sliced him up and put one slice of the pig into all the other packs of bacon, so that one part of your Full English tastes of coward.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 9:33,
archived)
I think I'll just release the bacon back into the wild, find a nice field somewhere(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 9:55,
archived)
fuck off, how can a board with only seven users have a clique?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:04,
archived)
oh wait, are you the fat one crying in the corner?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:05,
archived)
if so, blub on fatso, we don't like your sort round here(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:05,
archived)
Poo You're much better than poo. you're like a massive Welsh sweaty fat mans dump after a curry and too much whisky.
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:07, archived)
You are better than the mandatory block on b3ta in German Internet cafes.That makes you about as good as GEMA
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 10:11, archived)
bored of that nowYou know when you have a job interview and you're there and you suddenly think like you just want to rip all your clothes off and dance round the room spraying a joyous shower of urine over all and sundry, well that never happens to me, what never happens to you?
alt: etc
pricks
(, Sun 13 May 2012, 0:51, archived)
where did you buy your bags for life?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 0:56,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE3ZlPCidfY&feature=related
(
broadsword w⚓, Sun 13 May 2012, 1:13,
archived)
Much as I love you, when it comes to music, we're not licking from the same flange(
broadsword w⚓, Sun 13 May 2012, 1:28,
archived)
I'm trying to pretend I'm not 42 years old by playing some music from my younger years.
Right now I've got on a bit of early 90s Acid Jazz
in the form of Izit and Outside. What (if anything)
do you do to kid yourself you're not an old cunt?
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:19,
archived)
Cling futily to these remaining months of my 29's...(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:20,
archived)
Me too. I turn old in October.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 12 May 2012, 23:58,
archived)
I'm November.*weeps*
(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sun 13 May 2012, 0:04,
archived)
I don't have that problem as I am not old.(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 12 May 2012, 22:21,
archived)
I was like you once :((
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:30,
archived)
i did it all when i hit 38 earlier this year, now i just want to die(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:21,
archived)
Hey now mongy, you shouldn't talk like that, you have a lot to live for.(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 12 May 2012, 22:23,
archived)
This bag split is the worst thing to ever happen to himwe're going to struggle to get him back to his old self.
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:26,
archived)
worse thing ever, i likd you mags, remember that, or not, no offence(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:28,
archived)
Don't do anything rashthere will be other bags. Perhaps a trip to Selfridges will restore your faith in high street culture?
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:42,
archived)
oh mags, i just went to / bored and they are allowing adverts(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:48,
archived)
I had to throw out a bag for life earlier because it had split.An Asda one. Sad times.
(
Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Sat 12 May 2012, 23:11,
archived)
I thought you got a new one if it broke(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 0:29,
archived)
why is neptune so intent on rubbishing bags for life?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sun 13 May 2012, 0:43,
archived)
Not long now mate.Chin up.
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:31,
archived)
I like to dress up as an adult baby.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:32,
archived)
Do you have a premium newsgroup account?(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:35,
archived)
I thought you might have.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:37,
archived)
What the hell is a 'newsgroup'?(
JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Sat 12 May 2012, 22:41,
archived)
Usenet newsgroups, very early part of the internet,mainly frequented nowadays by sexual deviants and copyright pirates en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usenet
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:47,
archived)
Having scouted through that article I declare this as my all time favourite quote:"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea. Massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."
— Gene Spafford, 1992
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:53,
archived)
i didn't get online till windows 95, man that changed shit(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 23:04,
archived)
My first proper PC came with Win 3.1,when 95 came out I was all like errhghg
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 23:14,
archived)
What are the scores?(
Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:42,
archived)
u cool?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 20:32,
archived)
Good thanks, went down pound shop earlier, spent £15 on fizzy pop. Thats a lot of fizzy pop.And assaulted sweets.
Got an oriental feast for dinner tonight too... pretty tops if I do say so myself.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 20:57,
archived)
I hope the sweets were reduced.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 21:03,
archived)
you've beaten me with that reply(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 12 May 2012, 21:16,
archived)
Nah' man, don't get them south of scottland.sorry Mr H, you snooze, you loose.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:11,
archived)
FFSbattered, beaten. Do you people know nothing about puns?
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:20,
archived)
Yeah' man, and I was doing a pun* on the pun; that was the thing you missed.Me - Assaulted to mean a mixed lot of things
MNS - Assaulted to mean phsyical violance with the word battered.
Me - Battered to mean a deep fried coating.
You missed an alright chain there, unless you can expand on that by doing a pun on the "Nah' man...." thread.
* is still a pun? What's it called someone changes the way a word is said to give it another meaing.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 22:48,
archived)
Hey guysI was just out for a nice stroll down by the co-op, when I found this free Ribena carton just sitting by itself on the pavement.
It tasted totes amaze, best day of my life.
Have any of you had any big strokes of luck lately?
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:55, archived)
oh man, it's all about to kick off :((
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:22,
archived)
just.... scroll down the board.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:30,
archived)
Oh... GodI am so sorry mongy, I had no idea
If it's any consolation it was probably the best most delicious ribena I ever had. Thank you for not getting that toothkind rubbish
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:39, archived)
I think it might give him some comfort to know one of his forum chums got to enjoy it.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:44,
archived)
I won £25 on the premium bonds yesterday.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:22,
archived)
I just made a proper ghetto iphone case.wp.me/p2pPSC-4h
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:46,
archived)
I've just been flatting down primer with wet sandpaperand all the splattering made me look like I was in a bukkake competition. What have you done that makes you look like porn?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 17:10,
archived)
Grown a really shit beard.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 12 May 2012, 17:13,
archived)
I hope this is for the wedding video.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:22,
archived)
I've genuinely got a big gay 80's handlebar moustache.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 12 May 2012, 18:02,
archived)
I've never got round to fixing the fridge(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:10,
archived)
Dressed up as a teddy bear and rubbed Angel Delight all under my arms.(
Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:13,
archived)
If it was Instant Whip I'd be interested.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:26,
archived)
This pic of Angel Delight looks a bit like a fanny
(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:33,
archived)
Has he confessed anything yet?(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:31,
archived)
I swallowed loads of sea men.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:35,
archived)
I once had a nurse shave my balls.It grew back all itchy though.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 12 May 2012, 18:55,
archived)
what do you think? too strong? not strong enough? tl;dr?dear mr or mrs co-op,
As a local shop i have been purchasing items from your store for over 30 years now, i may not have spent millions of pounds in that time, but i may have, i dont keep track, and really you shouldn't judge your customers on how much money they spend.
Anyway, the carrier bags in my local coop are now so small you dont need the warning as you could not fit one over your head, is this health and safety gone mad??? or money saving??? yet again these tissue paper tiny bags have failed me, this time it has cost me one carton of ribena, but what will it be next time, 2ltrs of white lightning??? i dont think so, would you take that risk???
i know you want us to get a bag for life, well i tried that, and she divorced me, lol, but you can see i have commitment issues, it's mainly your carrier bags fault, how could i trust you???
SORT YOUR FUCKING CARRIER BAGS OUT YOU SHITCUNTS
thanks
mongy
(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:48,
archived)
I just emailed the Bahrain tourist information people to ask about a trip therejust for legal clarification, I asked if it's ok to have sex with my sister in Bahrain while she's in a persistent vegetative state
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
should be ok with your sister, but homosexual behaviour is illegal in bahrain, so make sure you fuck her in the cunt(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:28,
archived)
But what if her spincter got a splinter from your cocktail stick penis?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:34,
archived)
I can't believe I posted this before scrolling down, wat an awesome pants subthread(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:58,
archived)
i might link to it in my email, too show them how well my day was going, until carrier bag hell(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:59,
archived)
you don't come across angry enough.have you considered cutting letters out of magazines and writing "MAKE THE BAGS STRONGER OR I WILL BLEED YOU SLOWLY. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE."
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:59,
archived)
i'm considering all angles, they fucked with the wrong ribena drinker(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:00,
archived)
I bet they put the price of ribena up an all, yet they make the bags shitter.what a world :(
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:03,
archived)
:'(the co-op are all fairtrade bannanas and tea and that but what about us eh? how come there's no fairness for folks carrying home their saturday treat?
it's a disgrace.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:11,
archived)
i would cry mark, but i'm too angry, they have shamed me infront of my children(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:26,
archived)
Now this is a story all about how
Mongy’s co-op bag split and the ribena fell out
I’d like to take a minute, just read this post
The co-op don’t have bags about which they can boast
In the shop mongy got all the things that he need
Some cakes and some fags and some juice yes indeed
From the chiller cabinet, ribena all cool
And took it to the till coz he pays he’s no fool
A guy on the desk gave him a bag, was no good
It didn’t have the thickness that an ideal bag should
But mongy didn’t know, said to his goods
‘You’re coming home with me now, to my neighbourhood’
He whistled as he walked, everything was just great
But when he turned a corner, what a terrible fate
That flimsy bag was torn and out fell the drink, unseen
It’s times like this you see that fate’s a bitch she’s so mean
He got to his house about seven or eight
He reached for the bena, o man he couldn’t hardly wait
He looked in the bag, but the drink wasn’t there
Where it should have been there was only thin air
(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:14,
archived)
I've got a broken bottle and a hammer to hand, you call the time and I'll be there, my brother-in-armsshit just got real.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:36,
archived)
i'm sending them alll this, do you think i should say i also lost a v. expensive pair of sunglasses?(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 13:47,
archived)
*looks inside shopping bag*nice contents
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 14:11,
archived)
you'll never make nice apple turnovers with that(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 14:44,
archived)
Nothing could be strong enough for the distress they have put you throughthinking of you at this difficult time xx
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 14:43,
archived)
cheers mags, if only the coop would email back I'd atleast have closure (
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 16:26,
archived)
Mate, I know exactly how you feel, it's like freekin' world has forgotten how to make disposable bags all of a sudden.My binbags from Waitrose split 4 out of 5 times, have to double bag them up. I'd rather they fucking do what they're fucking paid to do right the first time. Sure, these new bags are enviromentally friendly, and yeah', that's fine. But they're not even doing that right 'cus you have to double bag anything. Got some metal bottles? Forget that, forget that right this instant. That's a no-go area for this shitstorm. WAITROSE for fuck's sake, they're only second to Harrods !
I feel like all the disposable bag makers all meet up down the pub and say "How can we fuck up the most people's shit?".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 16:10,
archived)
I'm not an angry man gonZ, i dont want no trouble, but they have pushed me too far :|(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 16:24,
archived)
Thing is right, back in my day, when I was growing up, when I was a lad, in my youth... I had family in retail.You know what it was back then? It was free advertising. These bags used to cost them £1 each, people used to come into the shop to buy them; that's the free bag we give away when you buy our skates'n'stuff. They were bright yellow, could hold your skates, pads and more. Had black rope so you could tie them up. If you saw the bags on the bus that took us to the swimming pool every friday at school, half the kids would be having them. Proud black logo on bright yellow. And you know what? Everyone who saw you with one said "Hot dayum that's a high quality disposable bag, bordering on non disposable". Not once in all my days did I hear someone say "It ripped", and I worked there EVERY saturday.
That was from a man who cared about a good disposable bag, that was a man who cared about brand and reputation. That was a man who knew how to make a bag; that was a man who knew a bag is an advert.
These days though, they're scum, scum of the earth, they ain't worth the dirt on my shoes. Fuck it, they ain't worth their own bag. You can judge a brand on the bag they sale; PC World have it alright. You see someone with a PC World bag with a square outline just the size of an iPad, Xbox or Dre Beats. You know you can follow them into the park they take a shortcut home from, and you wait behind a bush with a big cleaver, and then threaten to open up them up from balls to throat to see what they're made of. You know, afterwards, when you're walking away dripping with blood and red raw knuckles... you know you can have a bag that says "The person I just mugged used a company who _cares_ about their brand. AND, the brand cares about them.".
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 16:43,
archived)
this deserves a reply and a click(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 12 May 2012, 17:54,
archived)
Alright mate?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 12 May 2012, 19:45,
archived)
What's the biggest pair of knickers you've ever seen in real life?(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:18,
archived)
and your mum's got cement mixer tits and her face is halfway down her leg(, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:59, archived)
and she talks hippo language and all the hippos worship her as a goddess(, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:03, archived)
Great. SSG. Here to ruin everything.I'm leaving.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:21,
archived)
i don't even remember that it was so long ago(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:25,
archived)
that seems possible.but baldmonkey says i've changed which is also possible.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:30,
archived)
Gift shop in Yarmouththey were comedy ones, probably 3 feet across with some wildly amusing text on them.
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:22,
archived)
There are a lot of fat women in Yarmouth thoughso maybe it was through the window of BHS
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:25,
archived)
and the wildly amusing text was just "BHS, machine wash"(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:29,
archived)
"please send help, I am being held prisoner in a giant pants factory"(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:37,
archived)
"fancy a fish supper?"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:05,
archived)
"historic seat of MONO!s bumhole"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:09,
archived)
"skidmarking for the Lord"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:14,
archived)
"Blakey installs a two-way radio in Stan and Jack's cab, but should he believe all he hears?"(, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:26, archived)
"Blakey's methadone prescription has gone missing so Stan cooks up some krokodil"(, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:27, archived)
"Stan finds Blakey on the top deck ejaculating over Olive's exposed breasts"(, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:27, archived)
"no that's the perforated eel"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:31,
archived)
"fatties do it with cake"(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:38,
archived)
I saw bloomers the size of a sail once.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:03,
archived)
you could say they were 'blooming sails', you know like the shop(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:33,
archived)
i'm writing a letter of complaint to the co-op, these cunts are in for it today(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:36,
archived)
the carrier bags they are issuing now hold about 3 items and are like tissue paper, one of mine split on the way home yet again, i lost my carton of ribena :((((((((((((((((((((((((
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:40,
archived)
what a bunch of cunts.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 12:56,
archived)
bored of that nowsee that forum user mongychap mentioned Kent back there, I've never been to Kent and I don't know exactly where it is and I'd honestly have to look on a map to make sure it's not in France or something, where have you never been and I don't know exactly where it is and you'd honestly have to look on a map to make sure it's not in France or something? you can say Hitler if you want
alt: just answer the question
penises
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
i dont understand the north, lancashire, yourkshire and all the other hobbit stufflook where i had to park, why did you not advise me on my trip, i h8 u
media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/02/6d/ec/db/filename-imag1161-jpg.jpg
(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:42,
archived)
you daft cunt, if you'd kept on the main road for 4 miles you'd have been herebit.ly/KwQyMW
free fishing lodges, lovely woodland and the car park gets used for dogging most nights
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
haha, i'm not good at planning, you know that was 4 years ago now, time flies(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:49,
archived)
i was talking to him last night about a wicked sick gig he'd just done,damn that honky is hot.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:04,
archived)
he has a band? I'd like to go and heckle, where are they playing next?
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
oh i dunno man its folk stuff, i dont know much about folk stuff but he seems to be having a jolly time with itand i don't mind any music really so long as its jolly
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:06,
archived)
they probably have some weirdy instrument needs playing,like an old shoebox with strings or sommat
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:17,
archived)
I don't know what a Hampshire is.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:46,
archived)
it is very nice, loads of lakes, there is the cemex lakes, but most a season ticket only now(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:48,
archived)
that's the north lake in hampshirewww2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1212866877/NewImage1resize.jpg
(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:02,
archived)
could be for all I know.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:51,
archived)
Anything north of London is thatched hovels that stink of pigshit, punctuated with the gentle ringing of smiths hammering on anvilsI bet when you have a toothache you have to take a bag of cabbages to the wise woman.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:54,
archived)
no offence but when I was in Krakow people were getting on the train with their goats(, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
how else are they going to get their kids to school?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:58,
archived)
the real answer to this question is somewhat surprisingthey take a horse and cart down the motorway
I ain't even joking
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:03, archived)
that's grrr in the backwww.carlols.com/image/872-a-big-mac-for-the-horse-funny-car.jpg
(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:09,
archived)
that's a funny car,I wonder if the horse is getting a big mac?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:10,
archived)
srsly, the motorways are full of those long cart thingsit's like being in a Harry Potter movie probably, dunno, not really seen one of those
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:11, archived)
you must bewe don't have any motorways
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:19,
archived)
that's Krakow innithardly the capital
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:19,
archived)
Andorra(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:03,
archived)
that's just a made up thing like Narnia or MIddle Earth or Scotland(, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
Thanks for clearing that up for me.(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:06,
archived)
Me and Tim went down to Kentand met three ladies in a tent
we did not have much else to do
so I bucked one and tim bucked two
(
magnum, Sat 12 May 2012, 11:23,
archived)
Yeah. A crow today.baldmonkeyseenabird.wordpress.com/
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:26,
archived)
marzipan marzipan marzipan marzipan marzipan marzipan marzipan marzipan(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
seriously though, what kind of fucking prick moderates blog comments?(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
i've seen thousands of birds, i just dont like to talk about it(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:38,
archived)
maybe you have, maybe you haven't, the fact is you've lied to me before and now I can't trust you and I don't believe a word you say(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:43, archived)
you would of been a fool to of ever belived a word i've said anyway, i'm not to be trusted(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:56,
archived)
all those lies about owning a bivvyit's good that you've finally come clean about it, must be a weight off your mind
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:59, archived)
yeah, i'm glad i didn't take it all the way to manchester only to find out that all the lakes were just bomb craters with rain water in and fear all night that my car was going to be robbedGLAD THAT NEVER HAPPENED
(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:06,
archived)
i cant remember or find the place i stayed, it was near a park with alledged fishing and an asda or some shit(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:22,
archived)
i found it, haha, boggart hole clough, looked a bit rough round there(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:34,
archived)
that's near where I was bornpeople get mugged and shot and stabbed and all sorts in boggart hole clough
and yeah, there's a boggart lives there apparently
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
i'd rather not, like to keep a bit of space in my brain(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:50,
archived)
www.google.co.uk/search?q=lyrebird&hl=en&rlz=1R2ADFA_enGB427&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=bSauT66nJcfN8QOLkY2XCQ&ved=0CGsQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=600
(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:59,
archived)
i've been tipped off about a good place to see kingfishers near hereMight go tomorrow.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:47,
archived)
if the place is deep in a cave I think it's a trap(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:03,
archived)
Shit off with your shit blog you shitty shitting shitter.Morning BM.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 12 May 2012, 9:43,
archived)
I like my coffee like my crows, black.LOLOLOLOLOL
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:25,
archived)
I have said this before but it bears repeating, I like this blog bm(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:59,
archived)
Agreeing with Vlad.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 12 May 2012, 10:13,
archived)
seen any pigeons?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:03,
archived)
yeahbaldmonkeyseenabird.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/woodpigeon/
baldmonkeyseenabird.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/black-headed-gull-2/ - 3rd one
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:29,
archived)
"Anyway so I then I went home."No. This is shit writing, fucking piss poor, and the quality offends me so much that I'm never visiting your blog again. You're a shit writer, a terrible photographer and you smell.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 10:53,
archived)
Such a great catchwww.wimp.com/greatcatch/
(
mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Sat 12 May 2012, 5:20,
archived)
what a brilliant Border Collie impression(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 7:15,
archived)
hahaha, good morning bbc visitors and your top interestswww.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/satam.jpg
(
vladimir, Sat 12 May 2012, 7:52,
archived)
No mention of Shelby's deathwhat a bunch of cunts
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 7:59,
archived)
extreme breastfeeding is more of a sport than frisbee.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 8:01,
archived)
I tell you what, you wouldn't get such running and catching something skill in any other child's pastime.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 8:00,
archived)
alright mike woz ereyou missed all the excitement yesterday, I moved my desk over to the left and put my sofa over there in that corner and got the little table thing from the bedroom and now that's like there next to the desk and today I might move the beanbag over into the other corner but I'd have to move the parrot cage too so I dunno how that's gonna work out really
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 8:30, archived)
I bet you've got those shitty indentations in your carpet now so everyone knows how your room looked before anywayand I bet most of your stuff is from Ikea.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 8:47,
archived)
lol, i like the choice of fabrics, this forum appears to be on the turn(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:10,
archived)
what, fake parquet?you council-housed tosser
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:03,
archived)
He probably has to scatter fresh straw and sawdust over his floors every morning(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:15,
archived)
i heard you can still sell the soiled stuff to tanners up there(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:20,
archived)
your opinion counts for nothing after yesterday's LED lights debaclewe've all had enough of your lies
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
i hope your ceiling discolours, fuck that in your head nobber(
mongychops, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:36,
archived)
haha, "parquet"can't chat now, got to put some more parquet in the Aga
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
i keep the teabag in until after i've added milk(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:29,
archived)
is this a joke about me having sex with a man?(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:38,
archived)
I've never heard that Sir Sand Goblin has had sex with a manI mean, have you ever heard that SSG is a gaymobumsexual?
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:39,
archived)
this kind of horrendously mean joke suggesting that i have had sex with a man is certainly hurtful to me(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:42,
archived)
I can't imagine you have ever done any such thingwithout sporting a massive erection
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:44,
archived)
i wish people would think before they suggest that i would nosh down on some man cockcovering it in my saliva to make the subsequent penetration of my anus with it all the easier.
(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:49,
archived)
That's fucking horribleYou could atleast spit on it repeatedly prior to insertion, to be certain of adequate lubrication.
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 0:09, archived)
You've got to say though, that was a top drawer comment.I lolled.
(
PooPants, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:50,
archived)
no offence, but you don't know shit about parking ticketswhy the fuck would your opinions about tea count? Great forumming though.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:35,
archived)
haha yeh but seriously how do you make your tea(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:38,
archived)
silly billy! so you can drink it of course!(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:42,
archived)
are you trying to force me to do something i dont like? (
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:44,
archived)
i dunno i just wanna know how you make ur tea no need to be all harshin up(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:49,
archived)
so what about the one you did?(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 0:12,
archived)
you gotta be joking whats the point of this thread then(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 May 2012, 0:22,
archived)
the point of this threadis to make it so long that it hits the edge and then
we
have
to read
posts
like
this
all
squa
shed
up
ag
ain
st
a
a
r
r
g
h
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
look, happy birthday wales and all thatbut what the fuck do you know about tea?
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:33,
archived)
wait what it aint my birthday(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:38,
archived)
well duh, i mean you'd have to be really stupid to take it out before, so stupid you'd forget to breathe probably(
Lightguy hail satan, Sat 12 May 2012, 0:24,
archived)
I don't. what a world!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 12 May 2012, 0:49,
archived)
bit late for tea(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 12 May 2012, 2:16,
archived)
good news guys, i seen a goldfinchbaldmonkeyseenabird.wordpress.com/
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:48,
archived)
I'm pretty sure I'll move the parrot cage over by the door then have the beanbag over in that corner there and my amp next to the sofa(, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:58, archived)
do you use the bean bag and the sofa at the same time(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:08,
archived)
who the fuck keeps their beans in a bag, what the hell is he talking about(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:16,
archived)
he probably soaks his beans for 24h before making the chilliRather than just buying them in tins
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:20,
archived)
I bet he takes his pasta out of the bags and puts it in nice jars too(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:36,
archived)
I just don't understand this kind of thing, surely jars are for gold blend(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:51,
archived)
no no these jars have tight metal and rubber seals around the top in case the pasta makes a break for ityou don't want pasta crumbs all down the sides of your new black leather sofa
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:54,
archived)
omg wat I am on the verge of tears here, it's all so confusing, prison warders in the form of seals, what's next, traffic warden dolphins(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:55,
archived)
i still dont get any of it, a bean bag ? a sudd? sorry?and in response to gonz, shut up about sunday opening, it wasn't allowed, so he is saying they were shut sunday and monday, wat?
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:36,
archived)
I really want to go to bed but the washer's running and I don't want to have my clothes go all smelly if I leave them in there all night, fml(, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
you just get more fruity, have you met vlad?hang them out tomorrow morning you spastic
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:45,
archived)
s'ok, it just finished, I'm off to the fartsack, feel free to sit here all night insisting on yourself though, no skin off my nose(, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
your nearly as bad a ssg, fuck off back to pointlessforum.net(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:50,
archived)
I bet you have to take scatter cushions off the bed in order to get into it(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:57,
archived)
have you ever been issued with a parking ticket by a dolphin, this is important(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:02,
archived)
I got a parking ticket the other daycost me £25. If I'd paid the parking charge normally it'd be 20p to park there for the time I needed. I thought it was a free carpark.
sadtimes
(
magnum, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:03,
archived)
someone forgot to make sure they had their emergency tuna bribe in the glovebox(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:06,
archived)
sadtimes, 40 quid in westminster, if paid in 14 days, i wonder what is the most expensive parking ticket(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:13,
archived)
Jermaine Pennantwww.metro.co.uk/sport/football/855484-jermaine-pennant-i-deliberately-left-my-porsche-at-train-station-for-months
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:16,
archived)
that aint meeting the rules i've set out, possibly in my head, but still, i mean a proper parking ticket(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:21,
archived)
is it fuck, it is leaving a car in a carpark, i mean a spot fine, ffs, get with it(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:34,
archived)
train station where that jailbird left his car might make tea, as it aint a fucking proper ticket issuing place(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:43,
archived)
sorry vlad, but leaving some clothes in the machine overnight will not make them smell(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:00,
archived)
dude, that hargreaves family are srs litigaters over copy right, might wanna, you know(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 23:09,
archived)
OH WHO LEFT THEIR LORNDRYin the schtinky mildewy fullaskinkpiss maschine again, asked his buxom Swiss homehelper
(, Sat 12 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
You fat ballbag(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:03,
archived)
I tell you what, right, baldmonkey, I tell you what, I like your blog(
vladimir, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:13,
archived)
I hope it pecked your stupid eyes out.LOL, nah you're alright you are.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 22:13,
archived)
anyone off out tonight? i'm notgot any big plans for dinner tonight? i dont
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:20,
archived)
It's alright mongy, we're here for you(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:42,
archived)
we can make it www.b3ta.com/juicer(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:42,
archived)
now stop looking at my bird before I glass you, cunt(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:42,
archived)
steady on, i didn't realise that was a bird, looks like a fella dressed up(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:51,
archived)
me neither! wow, it's like we're brothers or something.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:32,
archived)
all safe here, you alright mongy?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:35,
archived)
brill! I hope you have fun.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:54,
archived)
dont look like it, they came with t&c's on the time spent this weekend, still i get cuddles(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:58,
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Cuddles make it all better(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:10,
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what's a really shit 80's film i should troll /bored with tonight mark?you cant say howard the duck
pricks
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:32,
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city slickersturner and hooch
Mac and Me
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:43,
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i dunno man, i need a proper character, i might go back to howardpricks
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:50,
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I hope she gets some proper cock.no offence.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:36,
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Five or six tonight she saidhave to pay the bills some how
(
PooPants, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:37,
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she fucking accepts anything always.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:39,
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yeah...Mark should knowshe changed her number btw mark. I'll get it for you, one sec.
(
PooPants, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:39,
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nah, it's cool.bored of that now.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:41,
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talking about your wife being a prostitute to try and fit in.have you no shame?
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:44,
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And besidesFit into where?
You told me she'd get proper cock, thereby inferring she's loose.
I was merely resorting to your low level of chat so that you'd understand what I was saying.
It takes two to Tango.
(
PooPants, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:51,
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There is after allmy newbie internets learning skills lessons
(
PooPants, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:38,
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I'm staying in, drinking beer and cookingskint and jobless! Wahey.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:35,
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mug someone.I don't think you need to pay tax on it either.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:45,
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i'm not paying tax and i'm working, i love these caymen island banks(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:46,
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my mate works on ships, he ain't paid any tax ever.the fucking rich cunt, has a big fucking house in spain.
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:48,
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sounds alright, i might take a 3 month tour of afgan, got to cut some deals first(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:05,
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I've just been to the chippythey close at 8, what's that about?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:56, archived)
dunno man, why would you close on a friday early, odd cuntsround my way no chinese or chippys open on sunday, rose reckons that is just round here, i dunno tho
(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:59,
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our local chippy is open 1pm - 9pm Monday to Saturday. Closed Sunday./true story
(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:32,
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right, i'm getting the info i need, i honestly belived you couldn't sell cooked fish on fridays(edit- sundays, not fridays, years ago, but i googled it before, it stumped me, like my research into the origin of the saveloy, no firm facts, i blame he jews(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 20:39,
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it was a food thread to start off, you gone dumb again(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:02,
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Whoah there fellas. I didn't mean for all this. This has gone horribly wrong.I might delete it.
(
mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:04,
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Finshmongers are traditionally closed on mondays, fact fans, something about god's opening times on a sunday.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:13,
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Deffo circamstancial though.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 11 May 2012, 21:40,
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I just "received" an internal memo.Every sentence had at least one phrase "in unnecessary quote marks".
What "stupid little thing" will make you "go on a killing spree" in your "imagination" "today"?
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:20,
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Now we're talking.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:22,
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I'm starting to use that too much now to be taking the piss...:-/
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:22, archived)
Oh shit.And now the withering starts.
Why can't you leave us alone to play happily, ffs?
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:46,
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i cant help myself its in my blood(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:58,
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"blood"(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:08,
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i just ate 200g of jellybeans(
Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:14,
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I'm not little.I'm fat.
Not as fat as the women on here, obviously, but still pretty fucking fat.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:21,
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guna make ma girl's dinner 2nite chicken dipers and chip's there faverite!!then play sm take a brake magersine bingo lollll love itt xxxx
(
fatpoof, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:50,
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I liked them.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:22,
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wait til I start wondering about moving the beanbag and the parrot cage again, that'll be tomorrow's debate(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:23, archived)
Save it until Monday. I might not see it otherwise. :((
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:24,
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this is all raking up bad memories for me of when i found my bed too high(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:26,
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let's not dwell on the past eh, it only leads to talk of central heating thermostats(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:27, archived)
straight or corner?recliners?
I hope it's not white leather
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 17:27,
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oh man, oh man oh man, cupholders?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 11 May 2012, 18:21,
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I've just had to move desks so my boss can keep a closer eye on the incompetent dick who used to sit here.I'm not amused.
(
Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:22,
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Can't be you, he doesn't have an imaginary parrot.(
Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:25,
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nothing, i'm on my way to cannon st, gonna get the 1642 train home, might have a pint in the red barn if you fancy one ballbag(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:23,
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buses don't run to Cannon Street any more, not since they built the Arndale extensionyou want Shudehill or Market Street Metrolink to Piccadilly
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:24, archived)
hahaha , i ment london cannon st, i'm on the train now, should be in the barn by ten past five, ok(
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:33,
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I'll be wearing a red carnation(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:25,
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look at AB trying to be funnywww.b3ta.com/questions/shopsandsupermarkets/post1612963#answers-post-1613019
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:23, archived)
Look at Quentin crossposting a reposted repost.(
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:24,
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Look at me shitting up a rope.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:26,
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Look at Adam trying to Adam Adam at Adaming Adam(
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:27,
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Why isn't 'Palindrome' a palindrome, hm? Somebody tell me that.I wish it was as hilarious as the word 'Lisp' when said by a tonguemong.
(
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:30,
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I feel funny, I think I need something sugary :((
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:39,
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Brain no worky, please to make plain and simples(
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:54,
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"Hope this finds you well?""?"
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:31,
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The tiresome thirtysomething bints in my office who keep bleating on about "vajazzling" and spray tans.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 11 May 2012, 19:12,
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There were three ducks in a boat that was about to go over a waterfall.The first one stands up and says to the others "
Someone should write the second half of this amazing joke for me. Ta.
(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:05,
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There's a prize for the best suggestion.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:06,
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There were three ducks in a boat that was about to go over a waterfall. The first one stands up and says to the others:There is a prize for the next suggestion.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:08, archived)
I suggest you go play on your phone in the toilet.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:08,
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Fucking favouritism(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:09,
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Some other part of him would be insanely jealous and try to maim the winning part, though.(
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:12,
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I feel like I've been mean over the past few days. I don't know why :((
Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:16,
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You should probably fuck off and die. No offence.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:16,
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You get to lend me a bass guitar for the weekend.(
baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:21,
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"Why did we get into this boat in the first place? Not only can we swim, but we're pretty good fliers too!"(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:07,
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What's my fucking prize?(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:07,
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no that's the perforated eel.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:08,
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"I've always loved you"One of the ducks says "Oh God, me too!"
The first duck says "Oh...I wasn't talking to you. Ugh."
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:11,
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It's funny because ducks are well known for not reacting well in socially awkward situations(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:11,
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oh TH already did that ermhow about 'uh-oh, looks like we're ducked
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
Your version fits into a joke much more comfortablyI'm not very good at jokes. I'm more an 'amusing noises' sort of person.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:14,
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Decautz'd!You know, that sort of thing.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:17,
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stick figure ninja, gone too soon, all the good peoples die :((
mongychops, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:21,
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You know what I haven't seen for years? "Street Trash"Crazy film. Might download it. Probably won't.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:18,
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The ducks wouldn't be expecting that(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:18,
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There were three ducks in a boat that was about to go over a waterfall. The first one stands up and says to the others"Quack."
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:19, archived)
bored of that nowI started counting my nipple hairs, got to 15 then got bored, what did you last start then get b
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:30, archived)
I'm looking for a tenuous excuse to ban Syncubus from the b3ta facebook clique page.anyone got one?
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:39,
archived)
he's a squirrel fucking yehaw gun toting redneck nonce.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:40,
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That's good enough for me.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:40,
archived)
Fucksake,he needs support, sympathy and counselling, not punishment. :(
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:05,
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She's seen his penis, sans pink sock.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 May 2012, 16:23,
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I am sitting in the Senator lounge surrounded by cunts dressed in grey with laptops.I managed to change my schedule from DUS - HAM - MAN to DUS - MAN but have the privilege of waiting 4 fucking hours for a flight.
I just counted to 67 blokes, not a single bit of tit so far so have stopped counting.
I have now had 4 half pint glasses of Irish Whiskey trying to figure out if in a quality basis it differs in any way from the rest of the muck they serve you on Lufthansa.
I am counting how many days of this shit I have left. People whinge abut working in an office. I would like all of you who have to endure this business travel shit, stand up and be counted.
Edit: Oh there was one transvestite but I think he got on the Munich flight.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
no need, just go to any bus stop and wait for a bus.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:43,
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well, you might enjoy the journey.shesh, I was only trying to help :(
(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:46,
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Soz man, but this is dreadful. It's like a sauna only with booze so I am grumpy.(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
I dunno, have a stranglwank. unwind a bit.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:48,
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I tried thatBut when Klaus is expelling his Alt Bier and Bratwurst in the cubicle next to you, ya just kind of can't manage it.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
Two pints of whiskey?That doesn't sound very sensible
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:46,
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Hey THImagine it eh? But fair enough, they are kind of half full and with lots of ice cubes.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
Ah, I seeYes, that makes more sense.
I have limited experience of airports, as I'm not very well travelled. Neevrtheless, my time spent there was very boring.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:49,
archived)
Which surprises me actuallyWhat amazes me is the crazy collecting of status miles, so you can sit in the same place you had to endure to collect said status miles.
Rule number 1 of business travel:
You are more likely to meet interesting people in Economy then in Club or First.
Rule number 2:
The lady sitting next to you on a flight would not even be considered after 18 pints in your local, so get a grip man.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
BTW, WTF R these iPAD hings that everyone has?What do they do with them. And what's with the lavish cases?
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
Sometimes when I yawn too hard my chin hurts a bit(
broadsword w⚓, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:50,
archived)
Your chin?That's strange
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:51,
archived)
That IS strangeTry yawning and without touching it see if you can notice your chin.
I AM bored.
(, Fri 11 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
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