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Envelope?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
You've just ruined a perfectly good Baldmonkey thread
He's probably killed himself now. I imagine he's deliberately forced himself into a diabetic coma with a bunch of cheap shit he bought from Tesco.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:09, archived)
What icon shall we have?
Not that I'd donate.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:10, archived)
I think it must be a fat ballbag
Like this perhaps
www.b3tards.com/u/0fcb2734f07769c5925f/bmicon.jpg
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
fat ballbag with cat legs pissing on an orchestra.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:12, archived)
design that in the right size and i'll do what i can to make it a reality

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:13, archived)
you're on!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
yet stuj is dead and we got nowt

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:56, archived)
We've all seen this dog fancy dress costume, right?
https://twitter.com/#!/warrenchrismas/status/202737193016492032/photo/1
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
Fucking hell!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:21, archived)
if you open the chest, you win pulsating red treasure!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
That is spectacular!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
This should pave the way for a Pirates of the Caribbean On Stranger Tides remake with dogs.
Penélope Cruz can play herself.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
You're killing this place

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:41, archived)
Go fuck yoursen

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
I'm cold
Make everything warmer.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
set yourself on fire

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:14, archived)
Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a few hours
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
Shut your bunhole.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 13:29, archived)
e
Nv
olv
eo_Oo_Oo_O:-$x-(:-Q:-V
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
furious arm whirring and leg jivery

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:32, archived)
You're
a f b
a a
t l
l
b
a
g

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
alright baldmonkey, seen any birds today?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
I seen a chiken dun a sik last weekend
that's better than anything balders has EVER seen
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:37, archived)
I sent him a picture of a dead Goldfinch
he told me to "fuck off"
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
how rude!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:42, archived)
He's an incredibly rude man
He once stood next to my wife with his finger poking out of his flies so it looked like he'd got his willy out. Ask him if that's true.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:43, archived)
did he beckon people towards him with it?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
Almost certainly
I was trying not to look at him. Which is what one generally does in the company of Baldmonkey.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
I bet he puts his fungers above your head in photos making you look like a bunny.
he's such a meanie!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
I heard he has a bowtie that spins at up to 400rpm

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:55, archived)
It's when he gets out his Little Britain talking keychain
Then the laughter REALLY begins!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:57, archived)
ugh, I bet he has a lovely looking flower on his lapell but when you go to smell it water squirts in your face.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:57, archived)
My God
He's so fucking WAKI
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:00, archived)
I heard he has a red nose
and bright red cheeks. Late stage rosacea.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:08, archived)
fungers?
fingers of fun?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:13, archived)
i hope you held it's feather back and rubbed it's back

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:43, archived)
TRIFLE!!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
do you like sherry in yours?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
only if it's homemade.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
see that was always my issue with them, my nan always added sherry and i don't like it

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:52, archived)
my mum made a great trifle with sherry.
from the shops though it's full of ming.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:56, archived)
i used to eat the trifle sponges, and my mum would be all ' hey you ate all the sponges' shame she upped and died

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:01, archived)
oh man :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
Fucking hell
www.findelahistoria.com/web/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ozombie.jpg
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
YES! more of this.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
Question of the Week
Help us choose the new QOTW: POLL HERE
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
Pervy, sweaty palmed votes ahoy!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
oh hai scaryduck!!
can I have a signed copy of your book?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
FINE.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:34, archived)
we are the champignons

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
Achievement 25G Unlocked:
Frank's Mushrooms
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
lolclikin diz!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:23, archived)
I'm extremely keen on becoming a Dictator
If you were an all-powerful autocrat, what would you do? You can't say Your Mum.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:29, archived)
Your Mum.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:30, archived)
your dad

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:32, archived)
where's MMPS,
I've never heard the phrase "a half gill" as a measure of whiskey. He's either making it up, or being all Scottish again.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:32, archived)
it's a pre-metric spirit measure

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
YOU'RE a pre-metric spirit measure

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
NO U R
so is UR MUM
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
He's been trying to give me a hard time on OT
Until someone made the fatal mistake of thinking what I said was clever, and then he was all OMG :O
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:37, archived)
why are you on OT? don't you love us any more?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
Figured it's for the best.
I'm not here, by the way. You're just imagining me.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
who....who said that?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:42, archived)

wwwoooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
they all think you're a prick.
soz :'(
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:44, archived)

Haha, yeah
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:54, archived)
sorry, I only click good links.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
i'm clicking but it won't let me play the game :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
How about now?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
i aint fallin' for that, punk

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
Somebody will and when it does, there will be much celebration

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
have you really gone to /OT?
dude, you let BM get to you?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
Well I'm still here but OT looks a bit more like the kind of place where people'd put up more with my nonsense
And yes, the old "10: Print 'kill yourself' 20: go to 10" was shit
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
In before BM, Grr and mmps tell me how thoroughly happy they are that I'm fucking off, that I was always shit and good riddance

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
stick around, you're alright really, at least now you've learnt not to spaz out at the slightest provocation

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
Oh. :'(
Dont go. i like you really.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
good luck.
I'll miss you at least.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
+you'll need it
at
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:11, archived)
Well with mmps trying ever so hard to tell everybody how much of a prick I am over there I may be flitting between the two.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
you're right, I'm being rude.
you can do this all by yourself.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
your shitting me? and you work in a pub
All spirits were served in gills before millimetres
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
before my time mongy,
Couldn't give a fuck how things used to be. I'm not running a pub in the 50's
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
tradition means nothing :(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
I'm not making it up! google it!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gill_(unit)

you should bin that barman degree, it's obviously a fake!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
I do not want to look at defective fish flaps thank you very much.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
well, you're missing out.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
i bet he can paint a lovely chalk board tho

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
his flower boxes are the bizniz!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
fair enough,
I'm a young man, and ignorant of the old ways. But as I said to mongy, it doesn't matter.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
oh man, you need to learn your heritage!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
i dunno man,
We still run everything in gallons and pints, what more do you want?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
I'll have 0.6 litres of ale please, Bar Keep!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
three flagons of cider please innkeep.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
That'll be 0.0154 doubloons, please.
Or two and six, in new money.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:35, archived)
i think the main reason we don't switch to litres is because of all the moaning from the real ale camp.
And they moan about everything. Miserable cunts can't just enjoy a pint.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
LOL! that's a barman's joke!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
MMMM.....nutty aroma....oak cask I'll be bound....floral aftertaste
*burps*
*smokes clay pipe*
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
YOU HAVE A SHIT BEARD

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
Hitler

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:33, archived)
Your bum.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:38, archived)
Make blood sports compulsory in schools.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:40, archived)
but i AM an all-powerful autocrat
i was watching the 2004 royal rumble yesterday. did you know they used brodus clay's entrance music before for a guy called ernest 'the cat' miller?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
TNA still use Mr.Perfect's old music sometimes
Those pricks
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
this is basically the exact same gimmick though
although instead of a hulking mongoloid dancing it was a black guy who would routinely get beaten up while dancing
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
But then aren't all the storylines bascially a re-hash of an old one at some point?
That was one of the things I found a little disappointing watching the Rumble this year, is that nothing's changed. The talent and spectacle is still there, but a lot of it is just...well....silly.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
wrestling? silly?
*slaps with velvet glove*
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
*demands chain/barbed wire/flaming tables/AIDS infected needle match to settle the score*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
no c4?
you pansy
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
Got to save something for the re-match

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
EC DUB
EC DUB

(or maybe C ZEE DUB whatever)
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
OHHH MAAAA GAWDDD
IT'S NEW JACK, NEW JACK IS HERE.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
*staple guns forehead*
Ah New Jack...the only wrestler (to my knowledge) that has actually murdered people.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
Benoit?
And New Jack was justifiable homicide according to the courts
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
Oh, of course
Didn't think about Benoit.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
that's the second time you've forgotten about benoit

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
Can you blame me?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
yes, for everything

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
I accept this with grace and humility

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:20, archived)
I like watching clips of PWG, Lucha Vavoom or Chikara matches
They have a lot of fun, but there is decent wrestling. It's like mainstream wrestling needs another shift, like the attitude era in the mid 90s, it hasn't changed for the next generation. People like Chuck Taylor, Colt Cabana or the great tag teams they have in those independants would help.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
i like this guy
youtu.be/f2D2th4BNis
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:15, archived)
That's....a doll, right?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:17, archived)
The Japanese know how to have fun, but also to have really serious shit

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
Who was the guy that was covered in Kanji tattoos?
He was incredible.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:21, archived)
Here he is, against a young Matt Hardy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMb2tXCdpqw
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
No idea

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:25, archived)
actually, now I think about it
I believe he was called Hakushi
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:26, archived)
You know, I think you're right

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
I keep saying this myself
It needs to be shaken up again. Like you say, the Attitude era did for wrestling what grunge did for 80's hair metal.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
yeah but Ernest could dance

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
I'd kill adam.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
Deaths squads...
Would be dispatched the second I came to power, with an extensive list.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
Uh oh
It's Backwards Cooper. Watch out for Manolith...he hates backwards names.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
rrrrrrRRRRRRRAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
Now ya dunnit

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
who is on the list?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
I hope it's not me :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
Philosophical Snacks
Pickled Onion Ubermensch
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:24, archived)
socrates and vinegar

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:29, archived)
shit, socrates and voltaire would be better :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:31, archived)
John Locke's Teacakes

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:32, archived)
nietzsche tea biscuits

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, archived)
Hobbesnobs

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:33, archived)
Plato sausage rolls

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
Plato hors d'houvres

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:35, archived)
plato crisps, any snack really

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:35, archived)
birdseye plato waffles

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:36, archived)
potato aristotles

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:40, archived)
francis bacon fries

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:39, archived)
Logical Positivismash potato

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:42, archived)
John Stuart Millkyway.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:43, archived)
Ex(istentialism) Benedict

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:44, archived)
Socrateacakes

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
Some revels. But only the ones with reasons (raisins) in them

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:45, archived)
karl poppertarts

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:46, archived)
The Communist Manifestorio.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, archived)
Rusk Spake Zarathustra

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:47, archived)
Thus Flake Zarathustra

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:48, archived)
99 with a hayek

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:51, archived)
Schroedingers Catfish Gumbo

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:52, archived)
Thus Spake Zarathustreacle tart

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:55, archived)
kripke kreme doughnuts

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
Haggistotle.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
Soup Of The Descartes

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:56, archived)
Jean Jacque Rousseaubergine

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:57, archived)
When the fuck was an aubergine a snack?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 12:19, archived)
Thomas Brownie

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:00, archived)
Mick Jagger

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:00, archived)
Ronnie Wood

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
Keith Richards

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
Bill Wyman

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
Brian Jones

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
Charlie Watts

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:01, archived)
Why you always gots to troll everything two hatter?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:07, archived)
Sorry, did I misunderstand the question?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:10, archived)
Daily-Mail-Reading-Bloke-down-the-Pub Bullshit On Toast

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:03, archived)
aristophan-cheese

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, archived)
Thus Spake CORNISH FUCKING PASTY thustra

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:05, archived)
Nietcheese and onion

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:08, archived)
Philosophical Jaffa Cakes

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:13, archived)
Vol(taire) au vent

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:15, archived)
Cartesian Tikka Slice

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:16, archived)
we are the champignons

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:18, archived)
We will SOCK you

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
You're My WEST Friend

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:20, archived)
I Want To Break FLEA

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:21, archived)
BOHEMIAN KITTYFUCKY

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:26, archived)
Another One Bites The GUST

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 10:28, archived)
Good Morning
Parents are proper annoying aren't they.
I have a massive headache brought on just by how annoying they are.
Of course that could just be a tumor.
You?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:46, archived)
Parents just don't understand.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:48, archived)
Parents seem to think that their children don't think of them as human.
I think it's the other way around.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:49, archived)
shove a rubik's cube up your cock hole and shit out a hipster

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:52, archived)
Morning mmps

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
i pist on a orkester

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
What a coincidence, you fight like a cow.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
bored of that now alt pricks

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
I know I don't
All this modern music like The Wiggles and Peppa Pig confounds me.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:55, archived)
I might go shit.
LOOK OUT BELOW!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:09, archived)
I'm not annoying :'(
It's probably a tumour. Poor MONO! it's a miracle you've managed to survive this long.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:51, archived)
only when they squawk too much and try to perch on your monitor and shit down it
oh wait, parents

I thought you said poodles, sorry
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:51, archived)
Cum cum cum cum cum cum bum.
Cum cum cum cum cum cum bum.
A bum bum bum poo bum bum bum bum
A bum bum bum poo bum bum bum bum
Wee bum poo bum cum yum yum.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:53, archived)
Health and safety, eh?
Know what I mean?
Tsk.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:56, archived)

www.kineticnorth.com/userfiles/Gilgamesh/CB.mp3
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
Yeah. Soz. Not clicking that.
Cheers anyway, though.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
you are worthless

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
Fuck yeah.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
HEY BM, BM. HEY, BM!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
Good morning, mmps.
What can I do for you today? I certainly don't think it will be anything unpleasant.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:12, archived)
hello *giggles*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:13, archived)
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssss?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:14, archived)
just wanted to say hello.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:15, archived)
OH. NOW I AM RELAXED

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:18, archived)
WINNING!!!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:21, archived)
Hey mmps, have you seen the avengers film yet?
Did you like it?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:25, archived)
I've not seen it. Have you?
did you like it?
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:28, archived)
i haven't seen it.
if it is raining on saturday i will see it.
if it is nice on saturday i will go take photos of birds
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
tits!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
chough, lark, thrush, swallow, shag, booby
yes. v.g.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
titmouse!!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
I seen it.
I liked it.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:34, archived)
good to know, thanks MONO!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:35, archived)
good to know, thanks MONO!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:37, archived)
good to know, thanks MONO!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:39, archived)
MONO! thanks, good to know.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:42, archived)
Sounded just like my mum.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
Shit

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 7:58, archived)
Clit

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
Git

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
I'm a shit clit git and I got no shoes
Doing a sudoku in the evening news
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
Reading 'bout sports, checking the ads
Then badly named babies and their Mum's and Dad's
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
Morning

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:07, archived)
Almost certainly

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
how come you never need a lift home, you fat prick

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:41, archived)
I haven't been in the office much of late
Sozcheers
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:42, archived)
I hate it when people say "of late"
and "moving forward"
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
Sorry to cause so much upset Mono
Going forward I'll try to consider the feelings of others before I verbalise my thought processes.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:02, archived)
you better run some ideas up the flagpole, see how they fly and put some traction under that gritty data.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:04, archived)
I'm taking a belt & braces approach to this one
It's basically smoke and mirrors anyway
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
probably!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
'Smorning sumware innit!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
and how!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:42, archived)
So what's going on? What's the haps? What's the word on the street?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:43, archived)
my sources tell me MONO! is unhappy with his parents
but you know, keep it under your hats.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:45, archived)
Oh dear
Consider it secreted.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:46, archived)
also, baldmonkey has made a blog up about birds!
imagine that!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:48, archived)
Extraordinary

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:50, archived)
what's the good news from sunny Plymouth today?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:53, archived)
*shakes fist*
Not much. Getting the dining room plastered on Saturday, so it currently resembles a crack house.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:54, archived)
that's going to take a lot of drink!!! LOL
I've got to clean the new place today :'(
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:59, archived)
Cleaning a house is the good kind of work
You can see your progress really quickly, and it looks fantastic when it's done.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:03, archived)
I'm very lazy though :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
But think how nice it'll look!
Come on...get moving. *pokes with stick*
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:06, archived)
meh, I'll get to it laterz.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:07, archived)
You fat ballbag.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Mine aren't that bad at the moment Mono!
They are babysitting for two whole nights so I can go to Wembley with Mr Sp@m so I am very grateful.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:08, archived)
Hey, Mrs Spam, you're a woman, right?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
personally I think she should prove it.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:11, archived)
woah. don't spook it.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:12, archived)
good one mongo.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:26, archived)
:'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:33, archived)
Well, they have their uses, they're still fucking pricks though.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:09, archived)
I miss that UTOL chap.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:25, archived)
I don't.
Frankly, I couldn't tell him apart from the rest of the bgn.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:26, archived)
how's your latest ill thought out and badly executed project that you know won't ever be completed going?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:40, archived)
Bored of it.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:48, archived)
MUM, MUM, YOU BOUGHT THE WRONG TYPE OF CRISPS I FUCKING HATE YOU

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:50, archived)
*chuckles*

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:54, archived)
O< ---- I thought "I ducking hate you" was better :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
Pikkld Unyon Monsta Muntch

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:02, archived)
Well /links is particularly shit today
Don't go over there...just trust me
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 8:53, archived)

today
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
Maybe I should post a link for each video I ever made.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:00, archived)
oh man, I think they'd love that.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
I bought a book for the child of a friend
It turned up on his doorstep today, and the book is in fucking Arabic. ARABIC!!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:10, archived)
I never do.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:01, archived)
i have a cough and a bit of a flu
this is probably lung cancer and or a brain tumour, i will miss you most of all, MONO!
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:05, archived)
:'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:11, archived)
oh wait i meant mmps, i'll miss mmps most of all
sorry mono
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
I don't care about that right now Q, I just don't want to lose you!

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:15, archived)
hey mmps, some things in life are just inevitable
you can't hide from it, you gotta face it head-on. we just have to cherish my last few moments on this earth
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:17, archived)
I'll try but..... god this is difficult.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
I LOVE YOU

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:12, archived)
I... I love you too

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:14, archived)
Maybe they're purposefully trying to annoy you so you move out.
As they can no longer face the embarrasment of their man-child lego obsessed son still living with them despite the fact that he's nearly 30.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:18, archived)
I was nearly 30 once
Messed up the second interview
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:20, archived)
two pints of fosters, a half of bells and a packet of scampi fries please.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:21, archived)
a half pint of whiskey?

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:22, archived)
what kind of fucking barman are you?
a half is a measure of whiskey, a half gill.

as in I'll have a half and a half chief = half pint of heavy and a whiskey.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:28, archived)
I'm sorry, got too angry there :'(

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 9:34, archived)
It's aaal feckin bhallax

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 2:06, archived)
yeah

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 2:58, archived)
alright mongy

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 3:00, archived)
all cool

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 3:05, archived)
Och, that it is, laddie. That it is.

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 3:48, archived)
i cant wait for vlads cat tale
check em
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:59, archived)
it has well gone 10 and vlad promised s a cat story, sadtimes :(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
oh, he only fucking posted it as a reply, it shold be all over this website

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:05, archived)

sorry mc
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
oh vlad stick it on /bored, it is purrfect, lol
nobody will care tho, it aint a .gif clip or zombie bollox, soz,

m
x
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:09, archived)
pffft :-)

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:12, archived)
47% of cats have been stuck in a tree?
Fucking stupid cats.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:27, archived)
kittys

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:45, archived)
I'd love to hang around but I was up early and I'm tired and I don't think anyone will get quints in this thread so fuck you I'm off to bed

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
bit of silverware for you, chalton won the league

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:08, archived)
I never know what to check :'(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:10, archived)
99 tho

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:32, archived)
I still don't know.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
Full house.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 23:00, archived)
Got a new floor lamp today mongy
B and Q, £30, down from £80. Didn't really need a floor lamp but now I've got it I'm happy with it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:17, archived)
fuck off back to mumsnet/moneysavingexpert

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:21, archived)
floorlamp.net you twat

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:33, archived)
Lucky sod
B&Q here never have bargains, always the half-packaged crap with bits missing and a whopping 50p off.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:28, archived)
Got the Times Biography of the Year 2007 for 24p in The Works today as well

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:29, archived)
who won 2007?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:36, archived)
im eating a bounty, I don't normally buy bountys because they are chick sweets
but I like them
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:35, archived)
something about coconuts

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:42, archived)
I don't like pears

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:44, archived)
nor do i, or peaches

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:46, archived)
The sronger soaker-upper?
That won't do your guts any good.
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 0:09, archived)
that means there's a bounty on you now
i think, i don't know
(, Thu 17 May 2012, 0:36, archived)
basically i'm coming to kill you

(, Thu 17 May 2012, 1:30, archived)
Trailer Park Boys
Holy frozen vegetable cocks
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:53, archived)
bored of that now
so yeah, this one time there was this bike and oh man, we did things to his wheel and ahahhahaa you had to be there srsly it was well rofl, when was the last time you failed miserably in public?

alt: lol

pricks

EDIT: check 'em
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:04, archived)
Does getting rat arsed and shitting yourself at your mums funeral count?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:07, archived)
haha, christ

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:13, archived)
Oh yeah right, mock why don't you.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
that's pretty much all I'm capable of :(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:27, archived)
You know what?
Every time I shit myself it reminds me of that tragic day. They were brand new jeans :(
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:30, archived)
i infer from that post that you shit yourself a lot
is your surname Gonz?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
It is honestly only once. Maybe twice.
a week
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:49, archived)
depends, was this at the actual burial or at the afterparty?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
also did you get a boner at any stage?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:14, archived)
In the mosque.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:25, archived)
What was the solution to shitting yourself?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:29, archived)
I dunno.
One minute is all parise Allah and that then I emptied my arse in my 501s. Terrible times.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
Jeans at a funeral?
Crikey. But I asked what you did after you shit yourself. What was the plan of action?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:33, archived)
Well I didn't leave it there to go crusty.
I went round the back and scraped them out with the funeral programme. Quick squirt of Lynx, good as.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:39, archived)
Bored of you now.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:44, archived)
I bet your flicking one off

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
Jeans at a funeral?
My dad so won't even talk to me since I wore khaki trousers to my sister's christening because I've got an allergy or some shit
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
Crikey, i remember that.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:49, archived)
New ones.
I'm not a cunt!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:51, archived)
speaking of which, has anyone got a spare koran i got cum on mine

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:35, archived)
I've got one, but I'm not sure on the legalities of me burning a copy for you

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:37, archived)
Wow...
that's pretty epic...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
Did you drop trou and squat over the side of the grave?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
It was a bonfire jobbie.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:39, archived)
We stuck flour in a mate's car air vents once
so that when he turned the blowers on he got a face full of wheat dust.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
the story only works if the prank didn't work

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:09, archived)
some people did it to me once with the chads from a hole-punch
i found out before i started the car, but with no other way of getting the fucking things back out, i ended up turning the blowers on anyway
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:12, archived)
PARADE!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
You should have shut the other vents off
then put a vacuum attachment over the duct then turned it on
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:24, archived)
true
but i needed to get home, and the windscreen needed demisting :(
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
oh, alright
this one time we did a prank but it didn't work. Lol.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:15, archived)
i once put a bucket of water on top of a door but nobody opened it before i had to use the door so i took the bucket down

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:16, archived)
none of this competes with the hilarity of Dave's bicycle
you pathetic amateurs
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
where the hell is gonz?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
i heard he is up to his nuts in some reality tv show chick

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:22, archived)

www.cfake.com/big.php?show=1270137383ff2a21eb_cfake.jpg&id_picture=87076&id_name=3474&p_name=K
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:26, archived)
nsfw

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:27, archived)
Cor, that Pat Butcher's a bit of alright when she makes an effort, eh

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
she actually done a nude scene when she were younger
26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxax45mm7F1qe33j0o1_500.jpg
nsfw obvs
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:36, archived)
I'm very disappointed that Tineye can't find a higher resolution version of this, I wanted it for my desktop

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:39, archived)
i dunno what tf yabangin oa

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
how clean is YOUR gunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
or if the person ingesting the wheat dust is coeliac and gets terrible stomach ache and a massive case of the shits

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
you are so dull, stop telling me your life story

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:16, archived)
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:17, archived)
speak for yourself, i take even the smallest thing as proof that everyone hates me

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
everyone hates you

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
hate is a strong word, maybe some just dont care

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:19, archived)
the internet doesnt count, fortunately

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:21, archived)
yeah you posted that before, it doesn't apply to me, sorry about that

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
yeah, not sure I believe you, soz

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:18, archived)
why would you? i am a confirmed odious lying wanker, you may want to note that down to prevent further discourse with me, and to be honest, you left me here alone, i have hatred for you anyway

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:22, archived)
your fault for hanging around innit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:23, archived)
alright mongy did you want the cat media training story now

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:19, archived)
could we wait till 10 vlad, i aint built up yet

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:20, archived)
OK no problem

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:21, archived)

here it is
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:01, archived)
this needs a front page, well done

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:06, archived)
the majority of cyclists are wankers.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:28, archived)
i haven't met more than like 10 cyclists you must be busy meeting lots of people

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:31, archived)
I got asked to leave a church, along with my mates, at a midnight mass cause we were very drunk.
fucking hypocrites, they serve wine without a fucking license.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:29, archived)
In my church it was fucking alcohol free wine.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:32, archived)
hahahaha yeah, this is scotland pigster.
I'm surprised they don't serve babycham in schools.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:33, archived)
I didn't realise babysham was perry.
Pear cider is really popular among wankers round this way, its only a matter of time before they start on some fucking babycham retro cockshy wankery.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:37, archived)
it's fucking hideous stuff.
what lager do you serve in the boozer?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:39, archived)
peroni, heineken, red stripe, pilsner and fosters.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:40, archived)
I'm not sure how to break it to you but...... a bit hipster isn't it?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:43, archived)
if the cunts will pay for it,
Fleece 'em for all they're worth.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
no tennent's then?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
nah,
Soz. Let me know when you're coming down, I'll get some super in.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:52, archived)
OI! I don't sup the supurbroo
spesh for me only please!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:56, archived)
SHIT BRO CHECK EM HOLY SHIT U R A WIZARD!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:40, archived)
I AM GUTTED
I can't believe it, fuck
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:42, archived)
so am i, he uses a script for this shit tho, he is all over widoz and that

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
66 trumps 00000, MONGY WINS
DINGDINGDINGDINGDING
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
sigh of the devil
look how many problems-

www.b3ta.com/talk/759999.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:54, archived)
cunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:45, archived)
utter cunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:46, archived)
dirty cunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:47, archived)
filthy cunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:48, archived)
lol butthurt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:00, archived)
Well done gilgy
I'm glad you finally achieved something in your otherwise pointless shut-in existence
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
u jelly?
www.b3ta.com/talk/5000000
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:57, archived)
NICE QUINS!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:50, archived)
now they all ganging up on me
they so jelly
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 22:03, archived)
I don't know what to check :'(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:55, archived)
Stupid things you have done and regretted it?
At college a nice bloke named Dave used to come in on his push bike. We thought it would be a jolly jape to loosen the front wheel nuts, expecting said wheel to fall off as he was leaving (Friday night). Not so, and off he went. "Oh fuck... what if it comes off when he's on the main road and he ends up under a bus?!?" Cue sleepless weekend, Monday morning he turns up (thank God!).... "OK which one of you bastards was it?" Apparently he had made it home and only when locking the bike up had the wheel fell off!!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
for fuck's sake shut the fuck up

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:01, archived)
That's probably the dullest non-story I've ever heard
This site was yellow and pink before you logged on.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:07, archived)
You think you've got it bad,
I'm sure I've heard it several times.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:09, archived)
if you told me that story in a pub i would punch you in the face

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:08, archived)
bored of that now

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:30, archived)
where's gonz?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:33, archived)
he died, didn't you hear?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:50, archived)
dont even joke about that

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:51, archived)
his dying words were "I never liked that SSG"

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:58, archived)
we all know you don't like gonz because you feel cleverer than him and like to look down on him stop ruining our beautiful relationship

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:07, archived)
It's as slow as a turd in treacle in here
alright Cabbages. Knickers.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:51, archived)
alright Sir Reginald DeVere's Prolapsed Blurter Spoon
I put way too much pesto on my gnocchi :(
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
Well you only have yourself to blame.
I'm not taking a bullet for this one.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:55, archived)
you made no attempt to stop me
you cunt
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:00, archived)
*flounces*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 21:41, archived)
alright?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:27, archived)
don't take the piss

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:33, archived)
WHERE IS GONZ?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:47, archived)
ignore

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:53, archived)
is gonz about?
i need an update on hollyoaks, i've not watched it in ages and don't know what's going on. i am mainly concerned about the brendan storyline. what's happened there?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:25, archived)
on a similar note, I hope mongy shows up this evening

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:56, archived)
Where are you going to go for your holiday this year?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
Mono's bumhole

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
*QI KLAXONS*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
BOOM!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
BOOM!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
not THAT sort of boom, baldmonkey
now please clean your shit off the walls.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
Soz.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
BOOM, I want you in my room.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:07, archived)
k

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:47, archived)
I imagine it is like a well furnished caravan
which has been mysteriously filled with the rotting corpses of exotic animals.
How do you imagine mono's bumhole?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
I always saw it as a spacious, opulent bar
with many a fine drink available, a pianist and dancing.

Perhaps a smoking room, and card games.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
mysteriously filled with the rotting corpses of exotic animals?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
no, only well preserved corpses
for future cooking and so on.

Although it might have a giant stag's head hanging on the wall over the hearth.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:59, archived)
a stag's head with a gouty neck

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:20, archived)

ia e t
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:59, archived)
it's a bit like wookey hole except there is no escape

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:57, archived)
help! I'm trapped in manolith's bumhole!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 19:13, archived)
you can check out anytime you like
but you can never leave!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 19:22, archived)
i'd love to fuck your wife

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
It's fairly easy to do. You should try it.
I bet you'd be ace at it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
See. Told you so.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:01, archived)
Whereas Two Hats' attempt was so pathetically shit I had to delete my reply.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
he's always ruining things, i don't know why we hang around with him

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:16, archived)
because I'm handsome, that's why

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:17, archived)
when you're right, you're right

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:18, archived)
When Captain America throws his mighty shield,
All those who chose to oppose his shield must yield!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
you terrible genius, you.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:03, archived)
Has anybody lost a little boy called Frisbee?
He seems to have got lost and wandered into /offtopic.
Anyway, he's there if one of you wants to come over and collect him.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
Oh and to answer your question:
France.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
Cool.
Enjoy that.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
No ta.
You could give him a message though: "Kill yourself."
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:57, archived)
Will do

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
Cheers.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
tell him we've moved.
no forwarding address.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:02, archived)
Hey Janet! Can I have a picture of your penis please?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:03, archived)
sure.
a3 portrait size ok for you? you won't appreciate the droop otherwise.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:04, archived)
Keep 'im
he's persona non grata here
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:03, archived)
Why the nastiness?
He's all right.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:25, archived)
dunno man, think i might be leaving the uk anyway

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:56, archived)
dear m
The UK is shit, but it'll be even shitter without you around to fuck shitcunts shit up.

h xxx
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
fucking tax exile cunt

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:00, archived)
:(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:07, archived)
That's nice.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:58, archived)
Dear mongy
you ain't sleeping on my sofa

Love,
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:04, archived)
sadtimes :(
Nah, its Arab lands or Africa or India, dunno yet, depends on the free van
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:07, archived)
Mate, is this anything to do with me? 'cus if it is, then it's over stepped the mark.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:48, archived)
Dunno yet Balders,
trying to organise sailing, but i need to rope my father and brother in to the deal too, needs at least 3 of us to get a decent sized boat. But then i have to spend a week in a small box with my brothers dull girlfriend.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:07, archived)
i like boats

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:10, archived)
i like boats also.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:13, archived)
if you were a boat what boat would you be?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:16, archived)
FAT BALLBOAT

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:27, archived)
wanna go sailing with me?
I was thinking Ionian for 2 weeks?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:17, archived)
i like ionians

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:18, archived)
what, after the sailing holiday?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:11, archived)
no janet.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:14, archived)
well then FUCK YOU.
that was a brilliant joke.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
you're a fucking joke.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
:(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
i don't mean it.
Want to fuck me?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
OI!
Fucking janet is NO JOKE.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:44, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7499741
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
Can I just say I sniggered with "You're a fucking joke" then did that semi-lol when you said janet was no joke.
But seriously, I'd do some Game Of Thrones rollplay with her. She could be a whitewalker who's captured me and needs to give me a blowjob in order to break my vowels to those wall people.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:50, archived)
I'd like to do one of those big rig sailing holidays
and pretend I was Nelson/Hornblower/Cochrane/Aubrey
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:50, archived)
/MacArthur

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:38, archived)
come sail a topper with me

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:39, archived)
glasgow :'(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:28, archived)
I've been to Glasgow
it was grey. I went to a meeting with a big whiskey company but I didn't get any free whiskey. Bastards.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:33, archived)
Cheap cunts, I hope you bit their ankles.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:41, archived)
nowhere
I'm poor
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:32, archived)
ME TOO!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:39, archived)
Nowhere
Paying to make my stupid house look nice
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:34, archived)
WHO IS THE MOST FAMOUS PERSON THAT LIVES IN PORTSMOUTH?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:37, archived)
Arthur Conan Doyle used to play in goal for POrtsmouth FC

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
well, that isn't really answering the question,
but thanks for the effort.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
Charles Dickens was born here

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
IT WAS IN THE RIGHT FUCKING BALLPARK.
I think one of The Monkees lives in Southsea.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
I think some of the founding members of Manfredd Mann were from Portsmouth

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
Southsea is a shitheap.
we used to go to a rock night in this funny sports bar next to the station. It was truly appalling.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
What station?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
Fratton,
just trying to find it on streetview
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:54, archived)
Smiffy's

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:55, archived)
Well that's Fratton then isn't it
Southsea is miles away
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:01, archived)
yeah,
dunno why i thought it was in southsea. Fratton is horrible though.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:33, archived)
Fratton is terrible
If only because Modolith lives there
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 19:35, archived)
reality TV star Kim Woodburn had humble beginnings in Portsmouth.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:51, archived)
James Callaghan went to the school round the corner from me

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:43, archived)
you're not answering my question.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:45, archived)
I FUCKING TRIED, DOWN THERE v

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:46, archived)
Actress Denise Black, real name Denise Nixon, was born in 1959 in Portsmouth, to mother Stella, a bank teller and Lieutenant Don Nixon, an engineering officer in the Royal Navy.
Her first professional drama role was as a cat in Miniatures at Sheffield's Crucible Theatre. In 1992, Denise appeared in The Bill, A Touch of Frost and as a Police woman in Between The Lines before joining Coronation Street as hair dresser Denise Osbourne, a role she played until February 1996, she returned for another 6 months in Coronation Street at the end of 1992.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:47, archived)
Does she still live here?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
fuck you.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:48, archived)
Charles Dickens, Rudyard Kipling and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, all British authors, are famous people who lived in Portsmouth.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:49, archived)
Dr Hilary Jones did a fun run in Portsmouth in 2009.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:52, archived)
Patrick Moore lives on the Isle Of Wight.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:52, archived)
Mark King of Level 42 used to own a shit restaurant in Ryde
Maybe he still does. What the fuck do I care.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:55, archived)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (b 1947), bodybuilder, actor and now Governor of California - although he never lived in Portsmouth in the 1970s, Schwarzenegger used to work out in a gym in Albert Road

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:58, archived)
Someone I knew at school always said that his Uncle used to work out with Arnie
and naturally none of us believed him. I've since found out that he did work out in Portsmouth, so it's possibly true. Sorry to the bloke that I accused of being a lying prick.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:03, archived)
Brian Howe, vocalist with Bad Company

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:57, archived)
Currently?
Dunno...some footballer probably.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:42, archived)
ME TOO TO YOU TOO!!!!!!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:40, archived)
*fundless decorating fives*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 16:44, archived)
I had a holiday in my garage two weeks ago
that was good.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:09, archived)
Cuba, Mexico, and then the States for ten weeks.
Woo.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 17:30, archived)
kidderminster

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:05, archived)
Majorca
next week with the missus and if time/money permit then maybe Tenerife later in the year with my mate for some scuba :)
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:10, archived)
Imagination land. I can't afford a real holiday.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 18:29, archived)
i have not taken a day off, for holidays or for sickness, in well over a year
and i have no intention of changing that.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 20:22, archived)
autistic films/tv
the prime numbers of miss jean brodie
your father's brother buck
i cannot relate to what you did last summer

go!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
Fuck off, tubs.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:38, archived)
HEY MANOLITH. SOZ. I WENT OVER THERE FOR A BIT.
what is 'the binding of isaac' and how is it played?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:39, archived)
s'okay i googled it.
i'm not keen but i do like the bit that says "a spinoff of the Bible story with the same name"
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
try the demo
www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/581168

it's a pretty fucked up game, and it's hard
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
OKAY. I MIGHT. Unless my bro-in-law has already dropped off AC revelations

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
some things i have discovered that are power ups:
the head of my dead dog
my mother's fanny pad
the ghost of my dead brother
getting a coat hanger stuck through my head

and those are just things i got today
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:52, archived)
Sexy.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:53, archived)
I have played this game and can endorse its mentalness.
in many ways, it's probably what BM's dreams are made of.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
i've not managed to complete it yet

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:25, archived)
ha! loser

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:28, archived)
stop projecting your self-loathing onto me.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
But you look EXACTLY like me,
if I were going to a fancy dress party as some sort of cunt.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:48, archived)
BOOM!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
BOOM!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
HOOM!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
boom boom
i want you in my room. not you though baldmonkey, you'd just eat all my furniture and scream waki things at the neighbours.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
Neighbours?
Fleas more like.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:58, archived)
The ja-Net

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:40, archived)
WP reckons swimming in your polly would be a good hangover cure
Is he right?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
you're such a fucking taddle-tale-tit.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
I was only trying to help :'(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:04, archived)
Lonliness Of A Long Distance FUCK OFF TUBS

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
November Autism

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
The Severe Personality Defect of Benjamin Button

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:44, archived)
No Need To Hunt For The FF0000 October. I've Carefully Catalogued The Locations Of All Shades Of October.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:45, archived)
2001: A Space Odyssey

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:46, archived)
winner.
alright mgt? excited about the jubilee?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
I don't imagine it will change very much,
but I'll be glad when all this faux patriotism blows over.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:59, archived)
patriotISN'T more like, eh?!!!!!!!!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:02, archived)
patriautism

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
partiOAFtism

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:26, archived)
Hope this finds him well?
www.quantumjumping.com/about
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:28, archived)
And all for only $97!
www.quantumjumping.com/products
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:31, archived)
Dude.
Sweet.
We should make one of these scams.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
It's impossible to prove him wrong! That's the beauty of it!
We could make a fortune.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:46, archived)
HYPER-GLOMP YOUR WAY TO A HEALTHIER, RICHER, SLIMMER, MORE SEXUALLY POTENT YOU!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:48, archived)
Using the ancient power of belming, you too can realise your wildest dreams!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
I'm eating coronation chicken sandwiches everyday, and you'll bllody well like it or bog off back to france

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:06, archived)
hi janet
me and two hats were being mean about you in the last thread but you weren't here so we stopped

now you're back. hooray!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:49, archived)
I heard her dreadlocks taste like mouldy fish dipped in poop.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
Where was I....?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
hi manolith.
why is baldmonkey such an insufferable attention-seeking prick?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
because of terrorists

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:07, archived)
the fat jihadbag

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:10, archived)
*clickage*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
hi manolith.
why is janet such a pretending-not-to-be-another-of-my-"comedy-accounts" prick?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:56, archived)
hi baldmonkey.
why haven't you died in a fire yet?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:57, archived)
hi janet
why are you all shit and that?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:59, archived)
this is like the mum and dad of talk having a barney
i'm finding it very upsetting
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:11, archived)
I sit in my room with my record player turned right up
Listening to Neil's Hole in my Shoe and then Harry Enfield's Loadsamoney single. They are my most cheerful singles.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:15, archived)
The B side of the Neil song is Hurdy Gurdy Mushroom Man
It is very funny
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:17, archived)
i have never heard of it

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:18, archived)
egg have feather bird of tit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
krake asp boa adder viper it.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:22, archived)
z zzzz zzzzz zzzzz zz zz

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
pie ham nibbler curd oeuf clit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:25, archived)
Shy PAF clever third dove chit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:26, archived)
Die guff shitter turd arse prick.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:28, archived)
And so on

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:35, archived)
eye calf knee-ver head of tit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:23, archived)
it transpires that after singing it in my head,
i still know all the words to that.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:42, archived)
Haha
I haven't heard it in 20 years, but I still remember it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:44, archived)
the autvengers

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
american acid kewpie

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
Pi (to fourteen places)

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:50, archived)
....*toetaps*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
HEY! FRISBEE!
I owe you an apology.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:54, archived)
Do you now?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:03, archived)
Yeah.
I haven't talked you into killing yourself yet. It must be hell living with yourself.
Go on. Kill yourself. You owe yourself that much.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:20, archived)
*stops stopwatch*
You're getting slower
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:24, archived)
You're getting shitter.
Kill yourself.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:26, archived)
i don't understand why you engage with it, or why anyone does

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:52, archived)
boredom, mostly
i like it when he gets upset and bangs on about my family over and over suggesting that there is a deep rooted envy and he is furious about my having a fulfilling life whereas he plays frisby.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:54, archived)
Well he is dangerously overweight
and he never moves any further than he has to. So it stands to reason that he'd slow down at some point.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:26, archived)
He doesn't look morbidly obese though, I fear his kids will have to put up with him for a little longer :(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:39, archived)
Objects on the internet may appear slimmer than they actually are

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:47, archived)
You talk about my kids a lot.
I'm assuming you're a nonce.
You should kill yourself.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:50, archived)
Twelve Monkeys, arranged by size then colour

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:51, archived)
0.11 to 2.98 per 10,000 person-years do 'ave 'em

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:51, archived)
The male human who raised himself in altitude on a hill and then decreased his altitude on the same hill.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:58, archived)
love you, balders.
never change, k?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:42, archived)
I never do. That's why I smell.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:45, archived)
Ahaha...
open Google, type "is it safe to eat" and see what the first autocomplete suggestion is.

Oh, me.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
Shrimp while pregnant

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
is it safe to eat smoked salmon when pregnant?
i don't get it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:19, archived)
various things while pregnant?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:21, archived)
is this mr teas way of telling us the good news do you think?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
eeeeeeeee!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:26, archived)
it doesn't seem to be doing autocomplete for whatever reason,
but the most common result seems to be "salad".
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:23, archived)
if I do is it safe to eat p
I get is it safe to eat poop if you cook it, but it's still the third one down
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:27, archived)
Oh.
It was the top result when I tried it just now.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:02, archived)
GOOGLE CENSORSHIP!
*shakes fist*
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:06, archived)
I live in Holland.
They obviously encourage that sort of thing here. :-/
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 15:38, archived)
yeah, google resells everything you google now
so whatever shocking thing you found is there because you were looking at shocking things before, pervert
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:28, archived)
pregnantgirlseatingseafood.com

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
WHY IS THAT LINK NOT WORKING????

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:33, archived)
dontputthesquidinthere.com

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:34, archived)
I want to read their FAQ's

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:36, archived)
Can I put the squid in here?
Yes

How about there?
No
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:42, archived)
I don't even own a google :'(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:34, archived)
just ask the neighbours, its pretty much the same thing.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:35, archived)
OH MAN!
DO YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR TO JEEVES?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:43, archived)
if biscuits were massive and household objects
A fig roll would make a good mattress.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:17, archived)
where's the fucking question?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:17, archived)
sorry my phone rang and i got an email. i panicked.
so what others would be other items...

sorry.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:18, archived)
I just logged in to say you should go fuck yourself.

r i o
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:18, archived)
it's big, but it's not THAT big...

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:19, archived)
He types in "r i o" with his b3ta-posting hand
he thinks he's edgy when he's tedious and bland

/Duran duran
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:20, archived)
i think you may have 'zinged' him there.
is that how it's spelled? 'zinged'...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
what does r i o mean then?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:26, archived)
right I'm off?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:31, archived)
yeah ok it's probably that
d i s a p t
e s t r h
k i i o
i l c u
o l k g
n h

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:42, archived)

w d I w
h o i
a n
t ?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:46, archived)


a m p o t b
a a n h a
n t e c
l k
y

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:47, archived)

f t
u h
c a
k t

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
ryvita is 'orrible

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:35, archived)
have you ever played 'the binding of isaac'?
i reckon you'd like it, you fat ballbag
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
No.
What is it?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:37, archived)
railways in oslo

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
rectal investigation officer

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
Randy Iris Orton

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
HAH

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:43, archived)
Some Smith's Crispy Tubes
would make a modern and stylish vase. Or as they say in America, vase.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:22, archived)
Sorry, I went off piste
I don't think it should be restricted to biscuits. Their shapes aren't varied enough.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:25, archived)
that's ok,
it's still a work in progress. although a jammy dodger would make a good honeymoon suite style bed.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:28, archived)
It sure would
Some tictacs would make good gravel for a driveway
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
read in viz a while back:
instead of wasting money on expensive gravel for your drive, just stick rice krispies to your tyres, then you'll have the sound wherever you go.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:35, archived)
That's good advice

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
a giant rich tea biscuit would still be shit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:23, archived)
it's like an IKEA biscuit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:26, archived)
it wouldn't even make a good table top
as soon as you put something remotely warm on it, it'd break in half and you'd have to pick it all up with a giant spoon. probably whilst burning your hand. it's just not worth it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:27, archived)
garibaldi biscuits
would make good loft floor boards.

with a curly wurly ladder to get up there.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:24, archived)
What the hell, a fig?
What....what? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:30, archived)
fig roll!
come on! get the net! a fig roll... it's a roll with a fig. in it.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:33, archived)
Fruit in bread? What madness is this?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:34, archived)
'scone!
/canned laughter
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
i think it happened after the war or something
supposed to be continental?

they look like dog biscuits if ya ask me.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:36, archived)
A soggy, oversized Hula Hoop stuffed with dried fruit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:50, archived)
i like hula hoops
i like dried fruit.

but some things just go too far.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
that's no way to talk about [username]'s fanny

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
pink wafer slippers
oh i dunno, fuck off
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:35, archived)
i thought it was a good answer...
but what do i know...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:38, archived)
he asked for furniture, i failed on the first count, failed hard
and now you've brought attention to it THANKS FOR THAT
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
well then, this certainly is a situation...
us still talking about it appears to be making it worse...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:44, archived)
especialy as it was actually YOU who asked
and you didn't say furniture, you said household objects, i've made things 10x worse

i'm going to kill myself now, thanks
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
you could use some spaghetti as a noose?
oh god, i've mixed it up even more.

sorry.


i'll get me coat...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
a giant digestive biscuit would make a good digestive biscuit for a giant

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
I reckon you could beat someone to death with a giant bourbon

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:37, archived)
You could arguably beat someone to death with a giant anything

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:40, archived)
go on then, beat someone to death with a giant giant redwood

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
see,
this is why i love you, you big long haired freak
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
daww

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
You spiteful cow
You know I have allergies
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
you probably have allerGAYS

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:48, archived)
You tallbag

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
in a complete contrast to this answer
custard creams would make nice cushions.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:40, archived)
I'd like a wagon wheel ,
combined with a few choccy fingers for a coffee table
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:45, archived)
and some iced gems as fancy candles?
that may be the gayest thing i've ever said on the subject of biscuits/household related conversation...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:49, archived)
iced gems taste like dust.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:52, archived)
tangy dust.
but dust none the less.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
shredded wheat scatter cushions

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
i dunno about that, but if you ever need to get on a 51 bus to orpington take a cushion, no padding in the seats :(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:39, archived)
What the fuck are you doing in Kent?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:42, archived)
careful mongy,
he's admitted before that his dad is plod.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:46, archived)
seeing a man about a van

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
i don't think i could live in that world

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:51, archived)
i can beat you to death with a bourbon if you like?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
I don't care what they say
I won't stay in a world without biscuit shaped furniture.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:53, archived)
this is all i can find at short notice
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-s3lO5G8AOTg/TW11FGv9bCI/AAAAAAAAAAM/ZJ5fCLgMy3g/s1600/Petit-Beurre-Coussin+-+Biscuit+Cushion.jpg
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
That looks delicious/comfy

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
this would do the trick
minus the creepy children

www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=massive+cup+of+tea&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&sa=N&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=fflb&biw=1782&bih=862&tbm=isch&tbnid=owb8eOfPlpQvJM:&imgrefurl=http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php%3Ft%3D1618357&docid=8uhR8Rg_S0rxbM&imgurl=http://pamssmiles.com/images/Giant%252520Tea%252520cup.jpg&w=320&h=266&ei=vqSzT5uoIqGu0QXN2IyqAg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=250&vpy=135&dur=4230&hovh=205&hovw=246&tx=134&ty=135&sig=107039728022619850798&page=1&tbnh=117&tbnw=140&start=0&ndsp=49&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:74
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:00, archived)
blimey that's a long link..

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
i wonder who can find the longest link?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:02, archived)
i don't know where it goes though...
www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&c2coff=1&rls=GGLG%2CGGLG%3A2005-26%2CGGLG%3Aen&q=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2Fsearch%3Fhl%3Den%26lr%3D%26c2coff%3D1%26rls%3DGGLG%252CGGLG%253A2005-26%252CGGLG%253Aen%26q%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.google.com%252Fsearch%253Fhl%253Den%2526lr%253D%2526c2coff%253D1%2526rls%253DGGLG%25252CGGLG%25253A2005-26%25252CGGLG%25253Aen%2526q%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.google.com%25252Fsearch%25253Fsourceid%25253Dnavclient%252526ie%25253DUTF-8%252526rls%25253DGGLG%25252CGGLG%25253A2005-26%25252CGGLG%25253Aen%252526q%25253Dhttp%2525253A%2525252F%2525252Fwww%2525252Egoogle%2525252Ecom%2525252Fsearch%2525253Fsourceid%2525253Dnavclient%25252526ie%2525253DUTF%2525252D8%25252526rls%2525253DGGLG%2525252CGGLG%2525253A2005%2525252D26%2525252CGGLG%2525253Aen%25252526q%2525253Dhttp%252525253A%252525252F%252525252Fuk2%252525252Emultimap%252525252Ecom%252525252Fmap%252525252Fbrowse%252525252Ecgi%252525253Fclient%252525253Dpublic%2525252526GridE%252525253D%252525252D0%252525252E12640%2525252526GridN%252525253D51%252525252E50860%2525252526lon%252525253D%252525252D0%252525252E12640%2525252526lat%252525253D51%252525252E50860%2525252526search%252525255Fresult%252525253DLondon%25252525252CGreater%252525252520London%2525252526db%252525253Dfreegaz%2525252526cidr%252525255Fclient%252525253Dnone%2525252526lang%252525253D%2525252526place%252525253DLondon%252525252CGreater%252525252BLondon%2525252526pc%252525253D%2525252526advanced%252525253D%2525252526client%252525253Dpublic%2525252526addr2%252525253D%2525252526quicksearch%252525253DLondon%2525252526addr3%252525253D%2525252526scale%252525253D100000%2525252526addr1%252525253D%2526btnG%253DSearch%26btnG%3DSearch&btnG=Search
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:07, archived)
i think they can be infinitely long, can't they?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:08, archived)
you're thinking of rolls of toilet paper.
or bottles of fairy liquid...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
Gracious!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
they're not open on sundays though...
no tea on a sunday? that's just madness.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:04, archived)
this is probably why you're so fat.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:56, archived)
:(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:57, archived)
i wonder what caused the baldness?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:01, archived)
Cancer probably

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:05, archived)
shouldn't have fucked janet

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:06, archived)
She made me an offer I couldn't refuse

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:09, archived)
sexually transmitted cancer
...fucking hell
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:09, archived)
totes worth it
she put her finger up my bum and everything!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:11, archived)
!
imagine that
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:18, archived)
Little known Janet fact: She has NO gag reflex and a poor sense of smell

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:20, archived)
that fact is WELL known, i can tell you
this isn't right. we should only be mean to her when she is here, really
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
I was hoping she'd turn up out of the blue
Oh well. We can always pick this up again later
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:25, archived)
Where's Baldmonkey gone?
I'm assuming he's killed himself, or someone else.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
i asked him a fucking question as well
god, i hate him
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:21, archived)
I almost wish he WERE dead

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:22, archived)
a bourbon cream would make a massive turd

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 14:15, archived)
Morning
Haven't solved my cube yet.
Who remembers Body Heat?
That was great.
You?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:15, archived)
I've got the phrase "5% discount for dear customer"
"Dear" is blatantly wrong, like, totes bad. What's a better word?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:00, archived)
valued

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
I'm taking this answer
but I appreciate all the rest
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
loyal?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:02, archived)
shit stinkin'?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:02, archived)

t k
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:47, archived)
mother fuckin'?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:05, archived)
jew-boy sponger

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:06, archived)
*checks watch*

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
feeble-minded

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:07, archived)
terminal

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:13, archived)
I'm researching this whole euthanasia question at the moment,
I think I just found the worst website ever that wasn't made last century.
www.patientconcern.org.uk/
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:21, archived)
That's pretty awful.
Do you worry that the euthanasia would make it easy for governments to kill people or are you not a tinfoil-hatted-fruitcake?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:27, archived)
I don't think it is some kind of secret government conspiracy,
slippery slope arguments or no.

I'm trying to verify the authenticity of the following quote:
“I think we can only go for terminal illness at the moment, so this doesn’t actually apply to the people who are probably about to go into care homes. But, you know, baby steps.”

Conservative MP Edward Leigh brought it up in a debate in parliament without citing the source, the Daily Mail attributes it to Joyce Robins of Patient Concern. I might have to just e-mail her and ask.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
Nice.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:53, archived)
In the Falconer Report she is quoted thusly:
"I don’t put any credence in this thing that people will then be scared, they will then
be frightened, because my goodness people are frightened now, terrified of going into
care homes, hospitals, so on and so forth, because they’ve seen on television before
their eyes what actually happens to you there. [In] my elderly community down on
the south coast, people are terrified."


Instead of assisted dying adding to people’s fears about how they die, she suggested that ‘it could take that away’.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:05, archived)
Could be right. There's certainly room for discussion.
I can see why it interests you.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:10, archived)
It loads really quickly, I'll give it that

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:27, archived)
Roger buys lots of sweets,
but has great teeth.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:30, archived)
'ere, you read J.G Ballard's "The Terminal Beach"?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:24, archived)
Yeah.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
Good innit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:37, archived)
Dunno. Ain't read it

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:38, archived)
I 'ate you, baldmonkey

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
Totes soz right here.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:42, archived)
flouncing

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:13, archived)
You can watch the whole of the 1966 Batman movie on Youtube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iCFAA_yM00&feature=related
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:14, archived)
I'm sure it was better than this when I watched it before...

This video contains content from Channel 4, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

Sorry about that.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:54, archived)
delicious

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
paedophile

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
paedophile delicious (things post above yours)
sounds like a really inappropriate type of apple
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
The less said about Cox's Pippin's the better

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
why do they call the Cox's Orange Pippin Apples.
Surely that's just muddying the water of what sort of fruit it is.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:00, archived)
I'd love a nice juicy execrable racist for lunch.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
'we're still making at least 35% profit on you you prick...'

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
racist

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:15, archived)
execrable

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
fugly

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
aryan

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
cuntfucking

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16, archived)
TRIFLE!!!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:17, archived)
sexually developing

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
shmurvegording

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
CUNTstomer more like

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:18, archived)
Dave

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
autobot

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:20, archived)
this would make a lot of sense, considering the context

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
You're buying an arse for your car?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:28, archived)
editing a Car Repair book
"Let me explain, the invoice includes 5 items; a new not re-conditioned steering pump, fluid, a new boot, wheel rim straightening and finally wheel alignment. That comes to 440 zloty, with a 5% discount for our autobot client, it totals 418 zloty."
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:37, archived)
I'm afraid I can only see the words 'Let me pump fluid rim bot'

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
I AM RIMBOT
LET ME PUMP FLUID
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:49, archived)
ME GRIMBOT

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:52, archived)
super happy

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:21, archived)
married

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:21, archived)
anal

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:22, archived)
sodomised

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:24, archived)
table horse

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:24, archived)
activated tadpole neutron delta Bilderberger

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:25, archived)
vajazzled

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:28, archived)
why are you giving the cunt a discount anyway?
I heard he hit on your wife when you were at the bar, she turned him down, but still, what a creep, and you bought him a pint. I'll come with you and we can sort him out. Weapons or fists, it's up to you.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:29, archived)
barely-legal

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:40, archived)
one remaining

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:43, archived)
how do you know the customer isn't kim jong il

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:09, archived)
I don't, but I can't afford to offer 10% discounts to everyone else

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 13:13, archived)
Ha,
2 threads in one day from me, how about that.

I've just been discussing hangover cures with a real life friend, and he suggested orange juice mixed with coca cola or pepsi cola. Sounds grim. What stupid things do you believe erroneously will make you feel better?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:43, archived)
you needy cunt.
LOL!

irn-bru, proven by scots scientist to cure hangovers and we know a thing or two about drinking!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
Cunt is actually a pretty good hangover cure.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
depends whose it is,
i reckon if you could find one big enough to swim in, it might be quite refreshing, if a little sticky.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
your mum then LOL!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
how rude.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
I SAID LOL!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
If you felt cold,
you could snuggle up inside it, like Luke in his disemboweled tauntaun.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
Where is Janet today?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
stuffed with every pair of bollocks in wales is where

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
poor ssg

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53, archived)
Lucozade and chicken soup out of a tin
Oh, and Mars milk drink.

Unless of course you count booze and/or drugs
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
a lifetime of hard work

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
alright cheerful,
hows the car?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
sitting in primer
it needs about two days of rubbing the guide off to get it ready for paint, but I'm too busy with this book
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
Lazily flicking your pork over Noel Edmonds on Deal or no Deal

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
Keeping yourself hydrated.
Drinking more beer counts.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:46, archived)
In b4 Baldmonkey telling me to kill myself

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
Cheers.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
did you read it?
the word erroneously means wrong, or incorrect. What you said actually works. moron.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
omg he's such a prick.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
nah,
he's alright.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
Don't know what you're talking about

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
he just said you were alright, compared to everyone else here he's just let you thumb your cock up him
and this is how you behave? you ungrateful prick.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
And remember, this useless prick works in a solicitors
where every word matters
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
It's not about the accuracy, Capt. Kabanos
It's how much I can bill for it
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:53, archived)
Raw Eggs. Medical fact
that something in them will make you sick and get the chundering over with. Then keep them and refry them into a stomach-contents omelette.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:47, archived)
fucking hell,
that's worse than drinking pepsi.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:48, archived)
Filling your face with a kebab while you're still pissed to replace lost protien/electrolytes or some shit.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:49, archived)
sounds like bunkum to me

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
More medical professionals should end their prognosis with 'or some shit'

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
Giving up smoking

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:50, archived)
I have heard this,
that smokers get worse hangovers. As above, i believe it to be bullshit.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
In my experience, only if I smoked loads more than normal along with the drink.
I'm fairly sure that excessive alcohol would make you feel worse.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
I find a nice satisfying poo,
followed by a long shower makes me feel a lot better.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
I try not to, as my morning poo fucking reeks if I've smoked loads the night before.
It's probably cancer or something.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:11, archived)

RE Smoking. Not bullshit. Gave up 6 years ago virtually no bad hangovers since
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
CIRCUMSTANTIAL.
STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD!

nah, you're alright, but that's clearly bullshit.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
I dunno
Smoking (obviously) effects your breathing and so logically the amount of oxygen getting to your blood would be effected. And...sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
where is 2canchunder,
isn't he a doctor or some shit?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
tell us three things about yourself, byevad

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:06, archived)

1. I'm handsome
2. Hung like a fucking train
3. forgot to mention that i also gave up drinking when i stopped smoking
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
Working? Hobbies? Sexual deviation?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:09, archived)
I've never seen a train's cock.
Do they keep it sheathed, like a snake does?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:14, archived)

Scratch that

1. I'm a fairly competent video/projection engineer
2. I've been stuck at a trade fair in Dusseldorf for 10 days and I'm going out of my mind with boredom
3. I didn't stop drinking so the previous three were all lies
4. I'm a shit liar
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
Do you think that you ought to stop drinking?
Or is that all under control?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
ok, can you please allay my fear that your user name is 'davey b' backwards please?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:13, archived)

davey spazzy
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
Oh fuck. Not Davey B. Please not Davey B.
Davey B is the biggest prick in the world.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:24, archived)
i know a davey b,
he is also a prick.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:30, archived)
previous 3 on teh third one?
DAVEY B IS AN IDIOT, DAVEY B IS AN IDIOT
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:29, archived)

Glad to be the new whipping boy. I know my place in life.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:31, archived)
Fuck off.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:32, archived)

Bring it on!
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
That's what your mum said.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:34, archived)

on her death bed last week :-(
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:36, archived)
i reckon you should start a new thread,
about dusseldorf.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:38, archived)

where's the sense in that. it's like manchester but without the nice bits
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
I'm trying to start a converstaion,
and all you can do is be negative. Christ Dave, at least try.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:41, archived)
That's good enough for me.
One last test; please start a new thread about the birds you have seen today.
You should be aware that interpreting "birds" as a 1970s word for "women" will disqualify the applicant.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:43, archived)
I left a comment on your prick blog for pricks
/ac
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:44, archived)
yeh senit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:47, archived)
:(

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
I vos born in Dusseldorf, and zat is vhy zey call me Rolf!
So....yeah.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:44, archived)

only kidding. I killed her last year.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
i'm glad you didn't try to lie about your name
i know you are davey b because i can see your email address

I SEE ALL
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:38, archived)
I am now in fears.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:42, archived)
i like your ZX81 realtime server application

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53, archived)
Wait
A) Who is Davey B, and 2) Does that mean this guy is an old regular?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:43, archived)
It's a paedophile

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:48, archived)
zzzzzzzzzz

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
no, i just would have preferred his name to have a better backstory than 'it's davey b backwards'

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
I retract what I said earlier
Turns out it's YOU that's killing this place.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:52, archived)
zzzzzzzzzzz

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:54, archived)
if you look at the figures we have lost more older members since rupaul became a mod and gained no new ones, now i'm not saying it is his/her fault, but there is no smoke without fire

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:54, archived)
i won't be satisfied until everyone is gone

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:02, archived)

this threads gone a bit dull since i went for me lunch. you'd all miss me if i left for good.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 12:23, archived)
fried breakfast
although i've heard a bloody mary is good for hangovers. not sure i believe it
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:51, archived)
Hair of the dog innit
Get a teeny bit drunk and the hangover magically disappears. Or some shit.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
dog? where?
*starts tuning up the band*
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
Mexicans have their own version called Micheladas
Where the vodka is replaced by beer and a metric fuckton of salt and lime.
It sounds GREAT
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:52, archived)
Beer, salt, lime and tomato juice?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7499473
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
And hot sauce, soy sauce and worcestershire sauce, in a pint glass with ice.
It is fairly wrong-sounding
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
really?
ignore what i did then.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
It sounds dreadful Adam
I'd rather cope with the hangover
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
Yeah, I think it's supposed to make them worry more about the drink than the hangover or something.
It is mexican, though. That country's just crazy
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
I've heard you are so tall,
that the people of Cosham run in fear of the "Giant Man"
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:54, archived)
this is how i appear to most people
a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/6491_643779286225_223403318_10223412_2987992_n.jpg
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
is that some sort of errant dreadlock?
tell me you don't have a fucking dreadlock.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
nah, that was just day three of living in a field

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:14, archived)
thank fuck for that.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
JESUS

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
not in my minds eye
www.queermusicheritage.us/DRAG/RuPaul/rupaul555.jpg
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:35, archived)
i fucking love that outfit
can't wear it now because i spilt kebab all down it
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:39, archived)
I've heard you are so tall,
that you can see PAST the horizon
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
i can't imagine how you norms can get through the day without being able to gaze into infinity

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:06, archived)
I heard that one day you looked so far
That you could see your own retina
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
my retina gazes also

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
GAYzes more like

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:25, archived)
fucking hell, stop projecting your repressed homosexuality!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
projecting your LOVELY BIG COCK more like
oh wait...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
i heard that when he's over at Baldmonkeys making music,
he especially likes it when BM bends over to adjust one his guitar pedals and TH gets to see a little bit of bum.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
THOSE PHOTOS WERE FOR PRIVATE USE

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:35, archived)
I was thinking the other day, right, you know how you get fish-eye lenses that really distort everything and exaggerate size differences
and then at the other extreme you get telephoto lenses and if you view the same thing through them everything gets flattened out with minimal size differences or distortion? I reckon if you made a lens that could flatten things enough you could look at everything actual size, never mind how far away it is. You could see dust on the moon and everything. And the tits on that woman across the road who forgets to shut her curtains at night would look HUGE.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
You just blew my mind

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
Like, woah

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
i like breasts

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
thats an army thing, they call it a muddy coke, i think it originates from the jampot pub in the falklands
i don't understand it myself
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:55, archived)
oh and when i have hangovers i jsut drink lots of water
but i don't get them often as i am a responsible adult
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:56, archived)
or s fat that its very hard to get drunk?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:58, archived)
sure i could lose a couple of pounds, but i'm not much of a drinker
when i drink i hammer it down and turn into captain arsehole
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
you seem to not have remember not enough of the back story to enlighten us.
In fact, all you've done here is create more questions. FUCK YOU QUINTEN
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:57, archived)
i knew some guys who drank it when we were out and about
i think when they were on detachment in the falklands years ago they all hung around the same pub but couldn't drink alcohol on duty, with nothing better to do they experimented with non-alcoholic drinks until the muddy coke was born

*probably
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
were you the one that the army guys bullied in to giving them blow jobs,
and told you that you were the gay one for getting an erection?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:00, archived)
no, those crazy forces dudes proabbly would have given half the chance
but i can handle my own, i'd take on the whole army and still come out smelling of fettucini
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
so what you're saying is that you could suck off a whole army of men without getting an erection?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:02, archived)
yes, gladly

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:03, archived)
The Osmonds?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:10, archived)
well that makes no fucking sense does it windy.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
Burger King is a good hangover cure

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 10:59, archived)
morning spang,
can i swim in your vagina?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:01, archived)
Alright Baldmonkey

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:03, archived)
she's the only girl that posts here anymore,
who else am i gonna ask?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
my vagina is fucken massive

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:07, archived)
i'll get my speedos.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:08, archived)
I like your sig

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:16, archived)
thanks i like yours

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
Minimalist, innit

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:23, archived)
nice to be nice

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
Baldmonkey chases all the girls away
Where's Binky eh? She sends me a coaster in the post then fucks off forever. Unbelievable.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:12, archived)
blue star will come back after she's read all of Harry Hill's '1001 comedy come-backs'
then she'll be prepared for baldmonkey round 2
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
bored of her now

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:18, archived)
she sure showed you

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:19, archived)
Moreover, I ain't never done nothing to binks. She's fucking ace.
I'd gladly send her a postcard from a business trip.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:22, archived)
yeah, bink was ace,
so was bluestar.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:13, archived)
How the fuck do you figure that out?

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:25, archived)
tits

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
opinion innit.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:27, archived)
OpinWRONG more like.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:28, archived)
BOKKO!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
DON'T LET BM BULLY YOU WINDY
He's killing this place
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
we should take off our tops to attract more women posters

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:31, archived)
I think that's an awesome idea
a /talk calendar perhaps?
Who would be on each month? What would be the scene of the photo?
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:33, archived)
1. baldmonkey, 2. Devastation

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:36, archived)
You, naked, crying, surrounded by rubble

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:36, archived)
i'd like to state for the record,
that i have no desire for a photo of Baldmonkey in any situation at all.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:39, archived)

en.gravatar.com/baldmonkeyseenabird
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:49, archived)
SEXY!

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:53, archived)
I like the polarised one
I'm thinking maybe on a tea towel? Not a t-shirt, but something you'd use.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:55, archived)
i want to be july
the best ones are always july
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:41, archived)
and can it have an avengers theme? bagsy hawkeye
mongy can be black widow, he can look all angry about it and be photographed with a long-haired cat if he wants
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:50, archived)
Naturally, I'd be Nick Fury

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:51, archived)
it's the obvious chocie, what with you being black and one-eyed

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:54, archived)
It is a happy coincidence, you're right

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:58, archived)
i wont have time, i've got a book to sell

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:59, archived)
Which place?
This place?
This place is already dead mate. Has been for a long time.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:32, archived)
I don't know what you've heard but it's not that big

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:04, archived)
fair enough.
sorry.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:05, archived)
Prove it.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:23, archived)

IT'S NOT THAT BIG BIG big big big big...
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:25, archived)
Hey, adam, that was pretty funny.
Good work.
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:29, archived)
he could have done <sub> at the end tho

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:32, archived)
Good point. I take it back. He should kill himself.

(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:34, archived)

images.wikia.com/avp/images/6/68/Hawkins_1_copy.jpg
(, Wed 16 May 2012, 11:35, archived)

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