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new newsletter
b3ta.com/newsletter/issue543/

Question: What's your BMI?
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:38, archived)
a low-cost airline.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:39, archived)
I just got one of those phone calls from someone saying there's a problem with my computer
I said 'Which computer is that?' and he said 'Well what do you have?'

They're not even trying anymore Janet.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:53, archived)
you should have said 'WOPR. do you want to play a game?'

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:56, archived)
Global Thermonuclear War?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:57, archived)
bubble bobble, you fucking spastic.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:57, archived)
Rainbow Islands, or GTFO

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:58, archived)
BMI is bullshit, btw
Arnold Schwarzenegger is roughly the same BMI now as he was when he was buffed up, playing Conan.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:40, archived)
Also Hi, how are you, tell me life is like on the other side of the fence etc

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, archived)
yep it doesn't work for people who've got loads of muscle
is this a problem you have? So much muscle mass that BMI doesn't work for you?
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, archived)
I know what you're thinking: what's a nice, muscular guy like me doing in a place for internet fatty shut-ins
But honestly, I'm here for the banter and frivolity.
*flexes*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:45, archived)
Just his right arm.
From all the.. .er.. frisbee throwing
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:16, archived)
Mind your own business

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:42, archived)
67

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:47, archived)
yay!

(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:49, archived)
this is like top trumps, i hope nobody beats me or has any shinies

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:51, archived)
It' a somewhat discredited indicator of obesity. Allegedly
But that's not important right now.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:48, archived)
Too slow, grandad
Also hello
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:05, archived)
*Dogeyes*
Mine was BETTER.
'Noon Frisbok.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:07, archived)
'noon Stuj
I'm off to Southampton for the weekend for National Super-srs Frisbee. Know anybody who would like to come and point and laugh watch?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:08, archived)
Nah. I'm not allowed near the sea these days.
And you've probably lost your chance with Janet, there's some QOTWer stalking her these days, pretending to be all upset at her he is.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:11, archived)
We all need to move on sooner or later
Ooh the tiiimes, they are a-changin'...
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:12, archived)
Aleph-one.
*fatties*
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:06, archived)
Friday again, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:08, archived)
Cheers Rob. Can you have a word with your ban-happy mods please?
They killed my robot :-(
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:10, archived)
Poor Shed.
:(
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:11, archived)
I certainly shed tears

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:13, archived)
My BMI is 24. Are you finally going to get rid of all the fatties?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:15, archived)
mine is 24
it had got up to 26 but I've made an effort over the last few months to be less fat.

I can't really ban the fatties as I've got an tendency to pork up myself if I don't watch it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:19, archived)
Doesn't matter how much of that unsightly fat you shift, you'll STILL be a Ginge.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:22, archived)
not true
at some point I'll go grey
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:28, archived)
Not when I'm in charge.
:D
I WILL make the world Gingenrein!
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:31, archived)
And with Blue Star gone who can stop me?
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:32, archived)
Maybe just quietly have them killed then?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:39, archived)
fuck off
prick
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 16:36, archived)
Which whinging camelid won't stop bleaing on about video games?
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6lhbsDr2n1roj7pgo2_1280.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:40, archived)

www.askabiologist.org.uk/answers/viewtopic.php?id=988
(I helped save b3ta! Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:41, archived)
i really hope you didn't spend time making that.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:58, archived)
bleaing
bleaing
bleaing bleaing bleaing
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:21, archived)
You're blea
to do what you want to do
(Drimble something lol here, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:24, archived)
Everybody's bleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaa
to feel good
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:25, archived)
I'm blea
to do what I want
any old time
(Drimble something lol here, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:26, archived)
Bleadooom
I won't let you down
*Bleadooom*
I will not give you uup
*Bleadooooom*
I have some faith in the sound
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:29, archived)
Love blea
Hold blea
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, archived)
You're the sun and as you shine on me,
I feel blea
(Drimble something lol here, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:33, archived)
Stone blea
Do what I please
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:36, archived)
Hold blea
Thrill blea
Kiss blea
Kill blea
(Drimble something lol here, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:38, archived)
i liked this

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:21, archived)
That's because you're fick

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:27, archived)
haha, well done Fris
You're fired. No, seriously.

I know your boss, I've got a meeting with him and John tomorrow, I'm gonna have a word. You're fucked.
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:29, archived)
Ahoy hoy young Adam

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, archived)
Ey up
I'm going to Southampton after work tonight. It's going to take about 6 hours. I don't think it's going to be fun.
Are you having fun?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:31, archived)
Not too much
Desperately trying to get everything tied up before I finish for a week. So naturally I'm procrastinating my sexy arse off.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, archived)
Outstanding.
I'm somehow managing to be on here and work at the same time. I'm THAT GOOD
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:41, archived)
But then you didn't?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:29, archived)
i saw all the negative replies and didn't want to stand out

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:30, archived)
Ah, yes

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, archived)
what do you call a south american quadruped with terrorist leanings who's just bought a new receptacle for its rubbish?
osama bin llama (llama)
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:11, archived)
What kind of south american quadruped like Grease: The musical?
The Rama Llama ding dong.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:14, archived)
what do you call a south american quadruped who produced kids' telly in the eighties?
dramallama.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:21, archived)
What quadruped sang 'cruel summer'?
Bananallama.
(Gormo is the reason why paradise lost, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:22, archived)
I FUCKEN HATE YOU YOU PRICK

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:26, archived)

photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/383773_10150447799116593_515656592_8798492_2051537198_n.jpg
(Gormo is the reason why paradise lost, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:28, archived)
Alright Janet,
Your llama joke is worse than all of baldmonkeys jokes put together.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:25, archived)
To be fair, she is a collection of baldmonkeys herself

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:27, archived)
fuck off teaboy. there's some pencils over there that want sharpening.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:32, archived)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:32, archived)
Silly Baldmonkey, teaboys don't sharpen pencils

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:35, archived)
fuck off pencilboy. there's some tea that wants making over there.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:37, archived)
I wonder what the office would be like if Janet ran it.
Probably all mopey and edible or something
*goes back to sharpening mugs of tea*

edit: I accidentally a letter
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:37, archived)
it would stink

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:38, archived)
an office full of Janets would be like an old folks home
full of old people stinking of piss and covered in dribble, and, in their senility, convinced that the Levellers and dreadlocks on white people still have any sort of relevance, but too confused to move on because the future looks scary and half remembered memories of the past are all they have.

The thought of it makes me want to donate to Help The Aged.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:43, archived)
this made me cry a little tear.
i might have someone read it out at my funeral.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:57, archived)
*ran
fucking hell, no wonder you're not allowed near the shredder unsupervised.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:38, archived)
if i wanted your opinion Frisbee,
I'd just shit on my screen.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:37, archived)
i dun a officelol.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:38, archived)
which 80s girlband loves camelids?
Bananallama (Bananarama)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:26, archived)
Christ that's it

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:30, archived)
Did you ejaculate?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:32, archived)
They should have a collection of 'O' noises
starting from guttural grunting up to exclamations of 'Geronimo!' and the like
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:39, archived)
what? who should?
you've been sniffing the marker pens again, haven't you?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:40, archived)
They....you know...THEY
*makes pointing gestures with his eyebrows*
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee Attorney-at-lol, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:20, archived)
no, theoban meows as he ejaculates.
durr.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:39, archived)
Howdy Chubsters..
Got banned for 7 days for saying "GO OUTSIDE" on the QOTW.
Just a heads up. They're taking it all VERY SERIOUSLY this week.
Someone must have hoisted up their woggle too tight.

As you were.
No fat chicks.
(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:32, archived)
I didn't even know it was possible to ban JMG
Thought the website would break if they tried
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:34, archived)
If I go, I can only predict fat wailing to explode tenfold..
It can't be SSG vs everyone. It just can't.. :(
(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:44, archived)
We need you to stem the tide
Like the kid with his finger in the dyke
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:45, archived)
If I'm banned from QOTW, that'll be the biggest insult.
How can I interact with the lesbian curers and MiG Fighter pilots out of "Top Gun", thus making them better people, if I can't talk down at them?
We've had an agreement on here for years. No fat chicks in my threads, I get to shout at fat chicks in OTHER people's threads.

This country..
(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:49, archived)
They're an even worse bunch of crybabies now than they used to be Jammie.
I blame the cunt mods for pandering to them with this new version of ignore.
They need culling.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:34, archived)
JMG's fault.

(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:35, archived)
Nah, it's just all "WAAAAAH! /TALK ARE MEAN!" over there.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:39, archived)
that fucking nonce wing shames us all

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:42, archived)
I was on the fence on this subject the other day.
But now these Whoppers have gone and spoiled it all with their fat moaning, I'm prepared to join you in your quest to rid b3ta of the nonces.
Mortal Wombat left. We can make QOTW leave also.

Stand with us, Britain!
No ugly people.
(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:50, archived)
I got a stern talking to when I asked everyone to up-vote a picture of a shit and it made the front page.
Those sort of things are apparently only cool and newsletter worthy if they happen on other sites :(
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:48, archived)
The best art on here was always SSG's art.
Then Baldmonkey won best b3ta artist of all time, in a poll on the internet, and it all went a bit spastic.
Why must they all take things incredibly seriously?
(Jam Master etc, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:54, archived)
I dunno, this has already got a sterner reaction than I anticipated.
www.b3ta.com/questions/wankbank/post1712781#answers-post-1712790
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:58, archived)
oh dear.
www.b3ta.com/questions/wankbank/post1712681
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:30, archived)
There was one yesterday that told a story of how he "didn't" look
when he walked into a room full of underage catholic schoolgirls in various states of undress. And I'm not using the word 'underage' to be colourful...his words.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:40, archived)
i've been stepped twice in the last 3 weeks.
once for spamming the shed qotw, and once for, well, i don't even know. bunch of whining mummy's boys, every last one of 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:22, archived)
You ARE a HORRIBLE TROLLING BULLY though The LOVELY Sidekick.
Everyone knows that.
'Noon.
*Panders*
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:24, archived)
alright studge?
how come you and mumpsy get to say the 'shed' word over there and don't get stepped? you CUNTS.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:25, archived)
:D
Bribery and blackmail Sidekick, bribery and blackmail.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:31, archived)
I haven't bribed anyone

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:49, archived)
Sexual favours counts as bribery 2 Can.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:58, archived)
Bins would make a great QOTW

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:37, archived)
Hell YES!

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:38, archived)
alright stuj
any bin related news in your house?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:40, archived)
Not really.
Put the recycling out last night, that's about it on the bins front from me.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:41, archived)
whoa! ours is on a tuesday
imagine that!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:42, archived)
My bin day is Tuesday too!
We're BIN TWINS!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:44, archived)
pedal to the metal!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:47, archived)
*tuesday bin fives*

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:00, archived)
MODS!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:39, archived)
your a has bin

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:42, archived)
Don't you trash me

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:44, archived)
i'll lay waste to you for that

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:46, archived)
I refuse to let that happen

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:47, archived)
you're talking garbage

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:48, archived)
You win
Totally out of bin related puns here. I tried to do something with 'bin liner' but I couldn't make it work.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:49, archived)
you're sacked

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:50, archived)
!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:51, archived)
I feel we should at least get told which mod is doing the banning.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:45, archived)
JMG, The People's Martyr.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:45, archived)
I heard that JMG can't actually read
He asked Baldmonkey to make him a spreadsheet that generates random phrases. When it appears that he's replying to someone, it's pure coincidence.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:46, archived)
With this testimony, my 'Geordies Need Schools' campaign will really take off.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:49, archived)
'Give a hoot, read a book' sounds great in a georgie accent

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:51, archived)
Exciting news guys
i've got a new bin in my kitchen and in my bathroom, they're both brushed stainless steel and look well mint, they match the wire rack i've got next to the sink.

you?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:54, archived)
That reminds me, I should get a bin for my bathroom
Ta Quinzole, you're a gent
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:56, archived)
keep us posted, bin news could be a regular event
spread the word
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, archived)
Theobin

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:57, archived)
I got a new bin in my kitchen about a month or 2 back.
Greatest day ever. I'm not kidding.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:58, archived)
what was the first thing you put in it

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:59, archived)
Drawstring sack thingy.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:01, archived)
chucking out old clothes eh? good plan

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:05, archived)
whoa
more detail please, colour/pedal/location?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:00, archived)
Silver plastic.
No pedal. Flap, not swing, lid.
50 litres capacity.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:02, archived)
you must produce a lot of waste
mine's a 30 and that seemed to big, pedal and stainless steel

yours sounds a bit cheap tbh, are you poor?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:05, archived)
It was £6.50 from Tesco.

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:06, archived)
i'm gonna set up a concert in your honour
Bin Aid
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:07, archived)
Thanks, but I have all the bin I'll ever need.
20L more than you in fact.
Help those less fortunate.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, archived)
too much bin is bad for your sex drive

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, archived)
He uses a lot of bin, you might say he's Bin Laden

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:21, archived)
my housemate found a bin next to a bin outside and now it's our bathroom bin
it's a rusty piece of shit
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:04, archived)
sad bin news there, gluey
i'll add you to the bin aid line up
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, archived)
They are a cunt to keep clean Quince

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:08, archived)
i'm not some sort of mucky nob, i don't spill things on my bin, TH

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, archived)
We all say that Qunicy
I object to having to clean my bin every day
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:16, archived)
you're ruining New Bin Day
:((((
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:17, archived)
No, it'll be great
Seriously. Great.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:22, archived)
I need to get a new kitchen and bathroom bin. any advice?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:12, archived)
don't shop online, it's shit
robert dyas do a good range
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:14, archived)
thanks Q!!! you've BIN a great help.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:22, archived)
I did this recently and it was great for a while, but the pedal system has really lost its magic for me.
Regulation black bin liners are too big, and the white bin bags (featuring drawstrings) are expensive (11p per bag!) and their diameter is about 1.5cm smaller than that of the bin.

It takes me over 60 seconds to put one of those white bags around the inner rim section of the kitchen bin. I've tried stretching the bags before attempting to attach them, but I think the drawstring section must make them too rigid.

The small one in the bathroom only fits very small plastic bags, unlike the standard sized newsagent or supermarket bag which worked so well in conjunction with baskets. The result is that it often doesn't get a bag, making it a yucky job to empty and clean.

Everyone else on my street uses the regulation black bag, so I feel self concious when my house has white bags outside. I worry that my neighbours must think I'm a bin bag snob or worse.

Basically, I think life was better when I just had a 'Stay Open' grey plastic swing-top bin in the kitchen and a waste paper basket in the bathroom. I hope your experience is more positive.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Diet Steakette - It's Bad, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:26, archived)
But the stay open ones generally have the potential to stink out your kitchen, espesh if it's near any heating devices.
You pretty much have to empty it out at least every two days weather it is full or not.

I like to use the garden sacks with draw strings, because a cheap bag is false economy when they snap. They hate wooden chopsticks =(
(I helped save b3ta! Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:30, archived)
My old bin was next to a radiator in a windowless kitchen so I know what you mean...
...But it was a lot easier to use.

The drawstring thing is a good idea. I wish they were more elastic though.

God I wish they were more elastic.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Diet Steakette - It's Bad, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 14:58, archived)
TL;DR

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 13:36, archived)
I got from adds a duel pack of brushed metal bins with smooth action closing.
It was a, I think, sorry if this isn't right, a 10l and 50l both for £15. The smaller one is in the bathroom and matches my toilet brush and loo roll holder. I should have measured up because the lid of the big one gets caught by the bottom of my work surface. I bought a new kitchen last month, and it's being installed in October. I went for a black, white and chrome look because it would match my bin nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:26, archived)
I love how this is probably one of the more busy topics and we've kept it on-topic
Bin talk, it's what we love
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:27, archived)
I refuse to talk about anything else

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:29, archived)
b3ta.com/bin

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 12:30, archived)
What do you call a woolly South American sponge cake dipped in chocolate icing and dessicated coconut?
A llamaington (Lamington: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamington)
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:07, archived)
i'd dessicate YOUR coconuts

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:09, archived)
Chance'd be a fine thing.
Promises promises
And relax...
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:10, archived)
Reading about anything on Wikipedia always sounds so matter of fact.
They don't mention Lamingtons taste bloomin' awful, do they? Oh no, [citation needed] if you try to edit that in. Wankers.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:10, archived)
PAAAAAvlova
Australia's favourite fruit. G'DAY!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:16, archived)
What's australias favourite band G'(reen)Day

(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:17, archived)
What do you get if you cross a cow with a boomerang?
A moomerang (moo) (boomerang)
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:19, archived)
Why are there so many Australian barmen in England?
Because they're such obnoxious abrasive cunts they're not even welcome in their homeland.
(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:25, archived)
[+1]

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:30, archived)
Is that why you're in Poland?

(PsychoChomp Nakkers, btw I'm probably calling you a cunt, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:43, archived)
he got kicked out from planet thanet, that takes some doing

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops handbrake?, that's not how i roll, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:55, archived)
Aw did an australian steal your girlfriend when you were young?

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:54, archived)
Did you know the invention of pavlova is heavily disputed by the Aussies and Kiwis?
They both claim to have invented it first, but in fact, they are all sheep-fucking cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:18, archived)
I did not know that
About the pavlova that is....not the sheep thing. I mean, that's obvious.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:24, archived)
fuck that shit.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:19, archived)
No, the coconut would get in my wee hole.

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:23, archived)
you dirty bastard

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:29, archived)
You love it.

(I helped save b3ta! Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:31, archived)
FoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooood

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:35, archived)
I? Do? A? Wicked? Accent? Of ? An? Australian ?

(I helped save b3ta! Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:37, archived)
PROVE IT!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:43, archived)
alright hatso?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:59, archived)
Hello you!
How's tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:23, archived)
tricks is good, ta.
i (barely) survived a festival at the weekend - drank cider, danced with random strangers, fell in the mud, lost my voice (and my ticket but that's a whole other story) and generally had a thoroughly Good Time.

how are YOU?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:32, archived)
Wunderba!
Yeah, alright. Got a week off after today, so that's something.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:33, archived)
are you going to leave the house, or will you be spending the week in your man-cave,
eating beans straight from the tin and masturbating furiously over CBBC presenters?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:39, archived)
No
I don't have any beans
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 11:44, archived)
What do you call a Jewish llama?

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:05, archived)
alpaki

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:06, archived)
kevin

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:06, archived)
What?

(I helped save b3ta! mns is... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:17, archived)
why the fuck can't a jewish llama be called kevin?
you a fucking racist?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:23, archived)
Oh sorry. I thought you shouted me

(I helped save b3ta! mns is... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:23, archived)
oh oh, real name alert!
quick, delete the thread bm!
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:24, archived)
stop panicking jerome

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:27, archived)
christ Francine, is nothing sacred?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:33, archived)
MY NAME IS DAVE
LOL
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:51, archived)
You look more like a Bertram

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:52, archived)
Possibly a Penfold

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:52, archived)
oh eck BM!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:54, archived)
This makes manolith Baron von Greenback

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban This isn't what I ordered..., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:55, archived)
SI BARONI

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:58, archived)
so is theo colonel k?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 10:06, archived)
You brute, my mother's name was Bertram

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:54, archived)
nothing, it's already got the hump

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:08, archived)
oy vey!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:15, archived)
Depends on whether it's male or female.

(Drimble something lol here, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:14, archived)
I'M BORED OF YOUR JEW LLAMA NONSENSE.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:19, archived)
Llamitzvah

(I helped save b3ta! Fork : Killing time since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:20, archived)
BOTN

(I helped save b3ta! mns is... STARWARS McGUINNESS, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:24, archived)
Whatever the number tattooed on it's wrist is.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:40, archived)
Humptermensch.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:42, archived)
Disposable.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj BRING BACK BALDMONKEY YOU BALLBAGS!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:42, archived)
Don't watch that
Watch this
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:10, archived)
or
this
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:11, archived)
A little bit GC, that one.
But fun, nevertheless!
(I helped save b3ta! Fork : Killing time since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:45, archived)
I'm waiting for "Man stings bee"
Hullo Mahno
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:12, archived)
Hi

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:15, archived)
I had a dream that I ate one of those super hot pizzas like off of Man vs Food
It wasn't that hot really. I reckon he plays up to the camera half the time.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:16, archived)
I worry about adam off man v food.
he doesn't look healthy
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:24, archived)
At the risk of sounding like my Mum
I bet he hasn't actually enjoyed a meal in years. He folds food and forces it down his throat.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 9/11 still freaks my nut out to this day, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:25, archived)
he does at that, just shovels it in.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:27, archived)
i reckon he likes the bits where he's just wandering around trying out local favourites
but not the challenge
(I helped save b3ta! manolith - six seasons and a movie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:52, archived)
he's just a fat cunt really

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:57, archived)
allegedly he has to do a pretty strenuous workout prior to making each episode
which i imagine means lifting big bags of chips and doing reps with special weighted cutlery
(I helped save b3ta! manolith - six seasons and a movie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:02, archived)
he has to eat his own weight in lard before each episode.
the fat heart attack waiting to happen prick.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:06, archived)
a sequel to man bites dog?

(I helped save b3ta! manolith - six seasons and a movie, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:02, archived)
it'll never work

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:03, archived)
you're not dead then

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:15, archived)
No

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:15, archived)
great stuff, what have you been up to?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:17, archived)
what sort of coat do llamas put on when it rains?
an alpaca-mac (pack-a-mac)
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:38, archived)
I hope a llama and alpaca kick you to death and eat out your eyes

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:42, archived)
Alpaca
Bowl for you
(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:01, archived)
hello mumsnet
I accidentally my sweet babby is this bad
(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 6:47, archived)
please stop drinking AS21, we all care about you.
xxxxx
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:00, archived)
Dead chuffed b3ta thinks i am old enough to drink

(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:21, archived)
BUT SRSLY MY BABBY MY BABBY MY BABBY MY BABBY MY BABBY

(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:22, archived)
how is babby formed?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia living la vida loony, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:34, archived)
They need to do way instain mother
Who accident their babbies
(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 7:40, archived)
My mistress has her lady bits on her hip
I'm screwing her on the side.
(hathat, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 3:49, archived)
bored of that now
so yeah, I don't know where Ipswich is and I can't be arsed looking on a map, fuck Ipswich wherever the fuck it is, could be fucking France for all I care, where do you not know where Ipswich is?

alt: blah fucking blah

sheds
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:16, archived)
South east innit?
I were going to drive there once to help some lass move home after her lad turned out to be a child beating prick.
Didn't need to in the long run. Not far from a certain Captain if I remember right.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:25, archived)
South east England, or the world as a whole?

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:26, archived)
England is the hole of the world.
Oh wait...
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:27, archived)
What's a first world problem?

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:29, archived)
No soy milk for my latte?

(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:30, archived)
Seriously? Fuck.
England, what a shit hole. Failing to provide for virgins (sp?) and so on...
(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:32, archived)
I'd not live there.
Full of pissed up cunts shouting in car parks.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:33, archived)

lol scotchland
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:35, archived)
Had her.
She's great.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:40, archived)
Not a patch on her bro, though.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:44, archived)
everything about that news item is pure refined comedy gold

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:45, archived)
As sickening as that is
Since when did places in England start having Sheriffs (apart from the Sheriff of Nottingham)?
(I helped save b3ta! Fork : Killing time since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 8:49, archived)
920AD, maybe.
"In 920 AD, King Edward the Elder set forth that the reeve or gerefa of the shire, a royal official, should hold court each month to try cases of both civil and criminal matters. The modern term “sheriff” originates from the Saxon "shire reeve" and the term gerefa.[11] The shire reeve was the earliest public official charged specifically with keeping the King’s peace."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conservator_of_the_peace#Historical_origins
(I helped save b3ta! brb Diet Steakette - It's Bad, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 15:35, archived)
alright Maffersfish

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:27, archived)
I don't know where Leicester is either and I've been there twice
fuck geography
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:29, archived)
S'up cunt?
I found out today that it's about £300 cheaper than I thought to get the train from Paris to Rome via Zurich. So might take another look at my plans to go to Italy next year.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:29, archived)
my flatmate went to Italy once
he came back sunburnt to fuck, couldn't move without shedding skin flakes all over the place

so he got a shower and I heard a scream, turned out the loose skin on his leg had filled up with water then burst like a big fucking balloon
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:35, archived)
Hahaha. Class.
I'm driving my cat slowly insane by dangling a chain around. Cats are spastics.
(I helped save b3ta! Maffers Five zombies. 4 bullets. Two zombies., Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:37, archived)
If only there was some sort of product you could put on your skin to stop this happening!

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:38, archived)
does mortal wombat come on here anymore?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:48, archived)
what about wormulus?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:07, archived)
What about FUN TIMES?

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:08, archived)
lol
desmond.imageshack.us/Himg607/scaled.php?server=607&filename=winnet.jpg&res=landing
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:11, archived)
lol because his name sounds like tagnuts

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:17, archived)
brb, gotta deal with a bad case of the winnetts

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:19, archived)
The Lord Sebastian Winnett has requested your presence for afternoon tea, at 2 pm
THERE WILL BE NO CAKE
(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:20, archived)
Oh man,
sadtimes. :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:28, archived)
what about stuj

(I helped save b3ta! Alligator Shitfuck 2-1 Stay Frosty, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 4:47, archived)
oh man someone on a ricky gervais show looked exasperated at the camera
and robert webb just flung his hands about excitedly
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:53, archived)
i didnt even know he was in the office

(augsav <3, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:59, archived)
wait hold on i dunno if i got it right

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:04, archived)
that sounds well lol

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:04, archived)
louis theroux just asked an awkward question

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:05, archived)
oh what? can't believe I'm missing this.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:06, archived)
paxman just condescended

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:12, archived)
fucking hell, this is some tv gold.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:14, archived)
frankie boyle said something offensive it was well edgy

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:14, archived)
oh man, he lives right on the edge of public opinion!
dated jokes about being different are well lol.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:18, archived)
the ones about vulnerable people are pretty good those people deserve it

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:19, archived)
yeah, those folks have it too easy, they deserve to be made fun of.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:21, archived)
That one he did about spastics or something pretty much redefined comedy as we know it.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:56, archived)
My aunt had a load of old spastics society charity stamps. She always used to put them on the envelopes of our birthday cards.
They said 'HELP SPASTICS' along the top and she always drew an exclamation mark after 'HELP'
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:31, archived)
Haha, your aunt sounds ace.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 1:13, archived)
I reckon the only way I'd be shocked these days is if one of them shit out a turd in closeup
then used it as a microphone to mime swannee river
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may because you're mine, I walk the lino, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:23, archived)
As above but all of this happens in a shed

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:12, archived)
ok can someone please explain to me why I'm not banned yet?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:24, archived)
I said a funny thing but it's in the last thread so I'd appreciate it if people would scroll down and laugh at it
www.b3ta.com/talk/7551174
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:46, archived)
What the fuck? You just said the same thing I said two posts above.
Shedlifter
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:11, archived)
edit whore

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:12, archived)
? Admit it you didn't even bother to read my post you complete cunt.
This just confirms that I am one of the most underrated comedy geniuses on here.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:17, archived)
fuck me, I can't believe you're resorting to this

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:20, archived)
You know what fine, let's just pretend you came up with it.
Here, I'll even click on it for you.
NICE ONE CONCERNED, THAT'S SOME TOP ORIGINAL COMEDY.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:27, archived)
woah, no need to get upset

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:41, archived)
which has existed as a twitter account since pretty much when the book came out,
so well done on originality you two!
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 9:04, archived)
Will he be the official comedian of the paralympics?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:42, archived)
haha exasperated posh cunt

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:13, archived)
wait i just realised they could use the headline "crown jewels" haha get it cheers

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:16, archived)
orb and sceptre haha because royal family

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:19, archived)
prick haha because its a prick

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN TEAM GONZO, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:20, archived)
haha or royal tunnel because his mum died in one

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:23, archived)
squawk prick

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:27, archived)
fine then, starve to death in your own filth

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:33, archived)
I'M GOING TO CALL THE RSPB YOU SQUAWKING WANKER

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:36, archived)
k, you might want to learn how to say "hello" first you useless creature

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:50, archived)
Hah, Dara O'Brien just said 'er' after one of his jokes.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:01, archived)
oh right, I see what we're doing here now
Harry Hill was just fucking annoying and not funny
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:06, archived)
I liked it when he said 'hmm.'

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:09, archived)
Embarrassing bodies live on Channel4
"Back in the main clinic, Christian meets a man with a buried penis"

srsly gonna watch that
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:16, archived)
Does he have a treasure map with a big X on it?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:19, archived)
HE'S ON NOW
IT'S DIFFICULT TO URINATE
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:21, archived)
AAAGH OH GOD THAT'S AWFUL
HAHAHAHA
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:22, archived)
k, bored of that now

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:23, archived)
People come in to see me with this sort of shit all the time at work. It never stops being funny.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:25, archived)
More4, w/e

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:19, archived)
lol i once buried my penis in a mum.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 getter, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:32, archived)
I watched a squirrel burying his nuts in my lawn.
After sucking on them.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:35, archived)
The only funny Irish is father Ted.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:15, archived)
Sorry, FATHER SHED

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:18, archived)
woah, WOAH there
Frank Carson
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:18, archived)
Yeah, I'm not old enough to remember him when he was funny.
Grandad
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Fri 24 Aug 2012, 0:21, archived)
I'm having real trouble with my third message
After the success of my second...
(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:34, archived)
Well best of luck with it Gerbils.
I'm off to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:36, archived)
I'm of to SHED.
Goodnight
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:46, archived)
Show us your tits

(Drimble something lol here, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:37, archived)
OK where do you live?

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:39, archived)
Next door to Lightguy.
But pictures will do.
(Drimble something lol here, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:41, archived)
It's in person or nothing

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:42, archived)
I'll gaz you my okcupid profile, they can hook us up

(Drimble something lol here, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:46, archived)
HURRAY!

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:47, archived)
What are you talking about?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:37, archived)
I don't know :(

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:39, archived)
Oh really?

(I helped save b3ta! Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver is eating a Banana Mouskouri, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:37, archived)
Are you a friend of Richard Gere?

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:38, archived)
Is that like being a 'friend of Dorothy'?

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:40, archived)
fuck off faggot

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:41, archived)
OK!

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:42, archived)
shed lifter

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:53, archived)
That's going too far

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:57, archived)
that's some good forum!

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:50, archived)
You're shed right about that.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:52, archived)
That's what she shed

(I helped save b3ta! Gerbils Awrr Geoffrey, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:58, archived)
I should do some shedformers erotic fiction on QOTW
might actually fit in this week.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:01, archived)
You really should. There's not enough shed porn on there.
I'm gonna write an erotic short story and call it 'fifty sheds of grey'
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:05, archived)
lady chatterley's shed.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes like a metrosexual bellend or something, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:13, archived)
fifty sheds of grey

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 23:37, archived)
bored of that now
tell you who's an unbearable fucking prick, that bloke who reads the fucking news with his fucking tie and his fucking haircut I mean for fuck's sake and he sits there all look-at-me-I-know-what's-happening-in-the-cunting-news-already the fucking unbearable fucking smug prick, he's lucky I don't smash his fucking teeth in with a hammer, who's your favourite Spice Girl?

alt: wankers

pricks
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:46, archived)
*pretends to shuffle papers as the camera zooms out*

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:47, archived)
A thin ginger spice

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:49, archived)
I think I preferred her when she was fat.
You couldn't see the crazy showing through so prominently.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:42, archived)
Rob?
Oh sorry, you said thin
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:56, archived)
I've had a shit day, I'm rapidly getting drunk and I feel like getting B&. Who's with me?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:01, archived)
Right, fuck you all then.
Shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed shed
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:21, archived)
I like this!

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:24, archived)
Now is the time for SHED-O-TRON

(Drimble something lol here, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:29, archived)
huw edwards

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:48, archived)
He better not be talking about Huw Edwards glued
otherwise shit gets real
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:51, archived)
he's a welsh hero.
i won't stand for this criticism of welsh talent.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:52, archived)
Richard Burton was shit.
Anthony Hopkins is alright when he isn't flogging his retarded artwork.
(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:57, archived)
they keep richard burton's head in the new theatre in cardiff.
i don't think it's his real head, but you never know.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:02, archived)
he'd be ok if he could speak english

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:00, archived)
Mel B is the only one anybody should want to fuck.
Unless they're a closet gay *cough beckham* or a paedo or blind as a fucking bat.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:48, archived)
Yep

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:51, archived)
Amen

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:51, archived)
you seem to have pressed the B on your keyboard in error while reaching for the C
I'm sure you'll be correcting that error presently
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:52, archived)
No-one would want to fuck C
even in the 1990s.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:54, archived)
You'd maybe have done her up the arse.
There's something about anal sex with women in nylon tracksuits. I should probably post this on qftw.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:56, archived)
No
I wouldn't do the anals with Melanie C.
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:02, archived)
puff

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:05, archived)
Your have RedTube set as your homepage,
AICMFP.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:25, archived)
Lesbian PE teachers?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:34, archived)
is that Jerry?
I like Jerry
(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:54, archived)
There's something reassuring about you wanting to have sex with ugly women

(I helped save b3ta! Grrrmachine and then you go and spoil it all, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:24, archived)
I approve of this sentiment.

(Drimble something lol here, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:40, archived)
Except when it spoke.
Sounded like a comic from the northern working men's club scene.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:44, archived)
I'm already loving this Harry hill thing on 4

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:08, archived)
i'm recording it, don't spoil it for me.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:11, archived)
turns out he's dead from the start

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:13, archived)
and unfunny

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:45, archived)
He's touring again next year glued
bought my tickets today
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:13, archived)
I hate the dentist on that Sensodine ad
He's got a mong gob.
prick
(Bored of that now is bored of that now on, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:37, archived)
he's your girlfriend

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:42, archived)
I have standards.

(Bored of that now is bored of that now on, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 21:49, archived)
he didn't say it was a happy relationship

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:01, archived)
wanker

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 22:00, archived)
What do you call a shit sequel to the olympics entirely for camelids?
The parallamapics. (Paralympics).
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:40, archived)
*rapturous applause*

(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:43, archived)
is it cool to call someone a 'tard in a work meeting?
asking for a friend.
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:27, archived)
pr­ick

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:28, archived)
why?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:34, archived)
You could explain that it's short for 'tardy'
and just means the person in question has poor timekeeping skills.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:30, archived)
that's a good save, wish i'd thought of that earlier.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:35, archived)
'Window-licking spazmotron' might be harder to get out of, however.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:44, archived)
i don't care about your friend

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:34, archived)
it is me really.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:35, archived)
then you should apologise,
Tell them it's your time of the month, and you're in a bit of pain, and you know its no excuse really, but you got a bit stressed.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:39, archived)
he is a total 'tard though.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:41, archived)
leave a note on his desk just saying "i really do think you're a tard, but if HR ask, i'll deny it, and if you dob me in, i'll slit your throat"

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:46, archived)
ok, i'll let you know how it goes.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:51, archived)
I don't think you have any friends
I'm pretty sure I have one, maybe two
(FUN TIMES FUN FUN FUN, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:35, archived)
ssg is the only friend i need.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:36, archived)
he said he doesn't like you really

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:41, archived)
Yeah

(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:35, archived)
cool.

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:37, archived)
bored of that now
so yeah, Momo's eating his cuttlefish and he's making this scraping noise with his beak that sounds like dry bones being dragged down a cobbled street, I might backhand the little feathered fucker if this keeps up, which member of your family are you most embarrassed to be related to?

alt: etc

wankers
(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:16, archived)
my brother is a real prize straight up cock end.
We are close, but I try and not hang out with him when he's drinking in public, turns in to a proper cock.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:19, archived)
don't give me that fucking bullshit already

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:20, archived)
sometimes we watch porn and wank each other off, but its not gay because we're brothers.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:23, archived)
click

(Concerned of Tunbridge Wells "my apron comes down and crushes the handle", Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:23, archived)
cool story, bro

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:29, archived)
What sort of tea do llamas drink?
Camelmile (camomile), of course!
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 19:37, archived)
Still at it?
Just seen this weeks QOTW. Wow.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 19:50, archived)
It's a work of genius.
They're going to work themselves into a frenzy of arousal and impotent fury and then one of them is going to kill himself in a really degrading way and it'll be in the newspapers. It's what rob has been working towards all this time.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:06, archived)
ok

(music:response, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 19:50, archived)
I like your sig
That used to be my favourite tune to exercise too. Nice and slow so I didn't get to tired.
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 19:52, archived)
thank you
the brothers chem do knock out a decent gym tune or two
(music:response, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 19:53, archived)
I found out recently that my dad likes Chemical Brothers.
Some people have a deadbeat dad - I have a big-beat dad. Ho hum.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:09, archived)
can i borrow your dad occasionally?

(music:response, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:14, archived)
feel free

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:26, archived)
It's my ironing tune.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:05, archived)
I like to iron to the 'Ironman' theme.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:07, archived)
i iron to warriors dance

(music:response, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:07, archived)
I don't iron.
But I sometimes wash up to Public Enemy.

YEAH BWOY!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:10, archived)
I keep my washing up cloth on the crips side.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:13, archived)
What the fuck is going on with all this banning?

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:05, archived)
I suspect it's because the mods are cunts and have decided to take the side of the trembling fucking marys and failures on qftw.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic Minister for Sport for Papua New Guinea, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:07, archived)
don't mention the bans

(I helped save b3ta! glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:08, archived)
Never point a loaded ban at someone.

(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Tea burying dead greyhounds without a licence since, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:10, archived)
Heh heh heh

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:45, archived)
It feels like someone has convinced rob that /talk spreads bovine TB so he's agreed to have us culled.

(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder : Cruise Control, Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:12, archived)
i for one am innocent.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig is a stupid cunt., Thu 23 Aug 2012, 20:15, archived)

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