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alright?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:06, archived)
yer
warm innit?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:21, archived)
get fucked.

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:57, archived)
You offering?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:02, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7444558
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:12, archived)
Im spent

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:15, archived)
yer
disgusting innit?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:26, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:30, archived)
If I die on the car ferry, Manolith
I want you to burn those things. Ok?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:34, archived)
meh, if i remember

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:36, archived)
Alrighty all
Bloody don't start my job till september the first. wank
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:52, archived)
i don't even have an job

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:57, archived)
gives you 3 more weeks of fun

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:08, archived)

fun gay sex tourism
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:28, archived)
disgusting

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:30, archived)
and that's a bad thing because...........

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:25, archived)
I'm carrying £300 in cash.
My wallet's not used to having money in it.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:53, archived)
^gay sex tourist

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)
Safe!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 14:02, archived)
morning

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:13, archived)
morning Dovers

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:17, archived)
hiya mgt, friday innit

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:21, archived)
that it is,
the only reason i'm out of bed this early is that a plumber's coming round to look at the boiler
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:27, archived)
oooo-er!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:28, archived)
you're in a porno?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:29, archived)
i hope not

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:31, archived)
Hold on, you haven't seen the plumber yet.

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:58, archived)
Disgusting

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:01, archived)
hold on, you haven't seen the plumber yet

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:20, archived)
LET'S A-GO

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:50, archived)
YIIPPEEEE

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:16, archived)
Luigi lose again :(

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:18, archived)
NO
its'a luigi time!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:25, archived)
Much to the amusement of my children
I ALWAYS play as Peach.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:29, archived)
well she dresses very similarly to you
same reason i like to play as dk
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:44, archived)
you wear a tie and nothing else?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:55, archived)
yes :(
He's not shy about throwing faeces either
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:07, archived)
and by boiler you mean?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:31, archived)
big white metal box that heats water

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:31, archived)
is it a condensing boiler or a combi boiler though?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:32, archived)
god i dunno,
does it have to be one or the other? i thought it was both
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:33, archived)
there are a few more types
does your water heat up on demand or do you have a water tank?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:34, archived)
no they took the tank out when they put this one in
it comes on when you turn the tap on.

or it did, when it worked.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:36, archived)
you probs have a combi boiler

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:38, archived)
that's not mutually exclusive with condensing though, is it?
which is about how it heats the water rather than when
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:39, archived)
Is this ironic dull or are you people actually discussing types of boilers on the internet in your free time?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:57, archived)
it's alright it's fixed now,
so i'm going to have a bath
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:00, archived)
phoar

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:01, archived)
you think that's hot? check this shit out
i.imgur.com/ZXl0CVN.png
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:45, archived)
hot legs!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:55, archived)
so hot it fry an eg!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:57, archived)
i said probs, fucks sake

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:39, archived)
yeah it probs is,
in fact i'm pretty certain it is.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:28, archived)
your boiler is an abstract concept.

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:45, archived)
mornin' t-duvz

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:18, archived)
mano
happy birthday
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:22, archived)
thanks man, i'll bookmark this post for october

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:28, archived)
i was pretty close

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:32, archived)
it's actually pretty close to my candle day on here

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:38, archived)
hiya

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:28, archived)
hi there, you

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:33, archived)
td

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:29, archived)
ms

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:33, archived)
alright

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:30, archived)
ya, s'pose

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:34, archived)
why don't you just fuck off
fuck off have a great morning
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:45, archived)
u 2 hun xxx

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:41, archived)
Bore da the dovestone
I'm isle of wighting today
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:52, archived)
i was closer to the iow yesterday than i am today

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
whereabouts?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:55, archived)
Shanklin will be my base of operations
But I'm fully anticipating a trip into...dun dun DUUUUUUN....RYDE!
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:28, archived)
look for the tumblepop machine in the ryde arcade
it's the best game ever
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:58, archived)
You can't make me
I'll probably have to go to Ryde at some point. Most of my family are there.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:50, archived)
*inbreeding joke*

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:16, archived)
Yes
I just had a thought. You know Spider-Man and why he's called Spider-Man, right? And you know the elephant man and why he's called the elephant man, right? Do you see where I'm going with this?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:18, archived)
something about being bitten by a radioactive elephant?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:26, archived)
Yeah
Or being a Victorian sideshow freak that sort of reminds you of a spider
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:29, archived)
the hyphen makes all the difference

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:44, archived)

ph m

disgusting
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 13:08, archived)
There's no morning thread
like a Doveston morning thread.
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 8:58, archived)
Morning The Doveston
There's a massive hole in my house
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:18, archived)
Mrs Crackerjack?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:20, archived)
Disgusting

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
is that how you get in and out?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:21, archived)
It will be one of the ways once it's filled with new French doors, yes

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
what why do you want to let the French in?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:30, archived)
Because I want them to teach me to love

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:40, archived)
they'll just use you and leave you an empty husk

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:48, archived)
Awesome, can't wait

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 10:54, archived)
an empty, garlicky husk

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:09, archived)
+ full of Gallic spunk

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:17, archived)
garlicky, gallicky spunk

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:26, archived)
hi

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:42, archived)
did you ever get any carp?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:43, archived)
only the one, about 13lb, not the 30 I was after but hey ho, nearly home time

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:02, archived)
better than nothing

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:15, archived)
hiya
i might be going fishing soon, ain't that exciting?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 11:53, archived)
it steals a young boys heart

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 12:02, archived)
Spanishfly should fuck off
I don't want any replies.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:22, archived)
sucks to be you

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:27, archived)
Can I reply to this?
Strictly speaking, I'm not replying to Mr Horrible.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:28, archived)
knock yourself out

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:29, archived)
Cool, thanks.
I'm pretty much done now, to be honest. Good night everybody.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:32, archived)
yeah me too.
savoury dreams.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:33, archived)
typical paki

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:36, archived)
hey variety is the spice of life,
and change is as good as a rest, therefore curry is the same thing as sleeping, right?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:37, archived)
I'd have,no idea, I'm not from asian, I'm just sat in my Bobby

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:52, archived)
bivvy, auto correct lols

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:52, archived)
mongy, is my friend right in saying
if i want to do an overnighter at a lake i need a proper bivvy and they won't allow tents?
(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 0:23, archived)
Yer, no tents is a rule on most lakes

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 6:44, archived)
they'd sink!

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 9:00, archived)
I heard that he fucks ****

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 23:42, archived)
I just heard a report on the radio
There has been a flood in a lemonade factory.

Apparently the building is still in tact but a lot of the staff have been Schwepped away.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:07, archived)
Kill yourself.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:08, archived)
If only they'd replace the FAQ with this

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 22:51, archived)
Did you hear about the guy that got hit with a can of lemonade?
He was lucky it was a soft drink
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:36, archived)
Fucking rubbish
This wedding is turning out to be alright as it happens, I'm shooting the shit with a load of people from Essex.
Alt: disgusting
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:52, archived)
probably whores and pimps, but from what know of those northern folk they will be holding product

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:56, archived)
they'll pop
up sooner or later.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 20:23, archived)
Disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 20:31, archived)
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 20:43, archived)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 20:43, archived)
Dunno what that means. I have drunk 4 home-made dark rum mojitos and I'm very generous with my rum.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 21:12, archived)
put some prune juice in there
for an extra boost
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 21:37, archived)

Haha
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 22:52, archived)
I feel better now
thanks, you perverts.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:41, archived)
Me too.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:41, archived)
good good

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:44, archived)
no probs
I'll just see myself out. You may want to throw that pillow away.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:42, archived)
leave my pillow out of it

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:43, archived)
no you don't

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:42, archived)
wanna fucking bet?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:43, archived)
^The Wealdstone Raider

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:45, archived)
you want sum?
you want sum or wat?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 17:34, archived)
ok

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:48, archived)
perverts solve everything
sounds like a daily fail headline
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:58, archived)
We already did that a few threads ago
You prick
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:14, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/7753828
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:14, archived)
cant be bothered to delete it.
you'll have ro find another use for this sub-thread
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:38, archived)
your mum

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:39, archived)
I should think so
Now let that be a lesson to you.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 17:00, archived)
never again

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 17:34, archived)
Prick
revenge HAHA
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:18, archived)
wanker

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:34, archived)
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:35, archived)
Hartley, you really are a cunt

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:38, archived)
Yes, but I'm a moist and snug fitting one

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:41, archived)
you what?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 18:47, archived)
I like tits

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 19:04, archived)
Discuss ting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:39, archived)
Like stuff and ting?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=CS8ZfVTE4SM
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:41, archived)
not clicking that

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)
it is pretty disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)
I've seen worse

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 17:35, archived)
fixed your link for you, dumb-dumb
/ac
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)
thank you

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)
The gorilla gif was the third most popular qotw story

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:08, archived)
only third? i feel like we could have done better
is it too late?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:12, archived)
Yeah, there's a new question now

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:23, archived)
well, it had better be listed in the newsletter then!

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:33, archived)
jah man

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:59, archived)
No, DIS cuss ting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:59, archived)
go fuck yourself

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:11, archived)
Time takes a cigarette, puts it in your mouth
You pull on your finger, then another finger, then your
cigarette
The wall-to-wall is calling, it lingers, then you forget
Ohhh, you're a rock 'n' roll suicide

You're too old to lose it, too young to choose it and the clock waits so patiently on your song
You walk past a cafe but you don't eat when you've lived
too long
Oh, no, no, no, you're a rock 'n' roll suciide

Chev brakes are snarling as you stumble across the road
but the day breaks instead so you hurry home
Don't let the sun blast your shadow
Don't let the milk float ride your mind
You're so natural - religiously unkind

Oh no love! you're not alone
You're watching yourself but you're too unfair
You got your head all tangled up but if I could only make you care
Oh no love! you're not alone
No matter what or who you've been
No matter when or where you've seen
All the knives seem to lacerate your brain
I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain
You're not alone

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)
bit gay

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:08, archived)
If loving David Bowie makes me gay, then I'm a great big woolly woofter

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:41, archived)
depends on how much you like him

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:49, archived)
Quite a lot

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:05, archived)
would you like to play with his winky?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:12, archived)
Absolutely
Who could pass up the opportunity to touch the 'thin white duke'?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:24, archived)
prick

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:10, archived)
If loving David Bowie makes me a prick, then I guess I'm just a great big penis

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
he's alright I spose

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:43, archived)
my dad was at school with David Bowie
and was in some way involved in the fight he had with Peter Frampton where Bowie's eye got damaged. Possibly intervening, I can't remember.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:45, archived)
Oh yeah?
Well my dad went to school with Mark Wingett who played DC Carver in The Bill. Beat THAT.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:02, archived)
my dad helped build a house for mark knopfler in the new forest

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:13, archived)
mark knopfler is a cunt

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:22, archived)
He knows a lot about guitars though

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:25, archived)
I bet he knows nothing about skinks

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:28, archived)
You're right
He actually owns the largest chameleon vivarium in northern europe
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:30, archived)
what a prick

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:12, archived)
i'm related to the Beverly Sisters

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:21, archived)
which ones?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:25, archived)

cigarette fag
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:11, archived)
oh

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:44, archived)
Typical emo.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:15, archived)
If loving David Bowie makes me an emo, then I guess I'm just a great big emo

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:43, archived)
Isn't it nice when we all agree?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:52, archived)
yer

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:06, archived)

img.rasset.ie/00079ed1-642.jpg
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:15, archived)
bit racist

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:09, archived)
ere me now!

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:18, archived)
N O spells no

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:19, archived)
turns out portsmouth is haunted
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/man-in-court-for-pretending-to-be-a-ghost-in-portsmouth-cemetery-1-6224059
by pricks
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:25, archived)
Haha, fucking hell
Mrs Hats' auntie and uncle live in the big house there. It's nice, but at night time when the mist comes in, it's proper spooky.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:39, archived)
Also, I went to school with someone named 'Stallard'
Could be a relative. He was a prick too.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:41, archived)
relative of yours you mean
prick
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
YEAH

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:45, archived)
hahah
"YEAH"
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:53, archived)
Haha
"hahah "YEAH""
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:46, archived)
Haha
"Haha "haha "YEAH"""
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:54, archived)
seems likely

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:48, archived)
He was called Paul
so...yeah.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:03, archived)
lots of people are

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:11, archived)
Nah, that can't be true
I've met 5 in my whole life, and I'm related to 2 of them.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:31, archived)
liar, liar, pants on fire

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:33, archived)
I used to live next to that cemetary

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:23, archived)
might pull my rods in and fuck off up the juicer for a few hours, bit hot here

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:47, archived)
caught saink?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:53, archived)
only a couple of bream, think the carp are spawning again

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:20, archived)
ahhh bream, pigeons of the lake world

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:41, archived)
fish harder

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:53, archived)
Bream a little bream of me

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 15:57, archived)
Bream on

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:11, archived)
California Breaming

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:12, archived)
Oh lordy, THE CRICKET.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:02, archived)
Did someone hit a ball with a stick?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:06, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:14, archived)
today I have the sads

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:16, archived)
*arms whirring*
*excessive legjivery*

SYMPATHETIC ENVOLVE!
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 16:26, archived)
GMoS :( <3

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 22:39, archived)
In November I'm going to watch an 80 year old man play the guitar
Earlier this year I watched a 70 year old man play the guitar. Next year, should I plan to see a 90 year old?

What are you planning to watch? And how old are the protagonists?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:58, archived)
i'm planning to watch some telly
the protagonists will probably be from a diverse age range
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:01, archived)
You really do lead an amazing life, don't you

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:12, archived)
i can't wait to write my memoirs

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:25, archived)
Or get someone to write them for you, you lazy hippy

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:26, archived)
nah, nobody else can be trusted with my incredible story

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:37, archived)

2011: no-one died
2012: no-one died
2013: no-one died
2014: there was that one incident with mortal wombat
2015: no-one died
2016: no-one died
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:43, archived)
Will I be featured in this book at all?
I'd be interested to read what sort of impact the relationship we have has had on your life.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:44, archived)
july 2014, bought a bald man a pie

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:45, archived)
I'm balDING
Why won't anyone honour the Ding?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:19, archived)
HUN DAN

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:28, archived)
^stupid hat

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:39, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:39, archived)
discuss ding

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:32, archived)
christ, I'm so bored

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)
me too
did you play that bazooka game?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:39, archived)
No, my vpn wouldn't let it load

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:49, archived)
one of these should probably work
www.google.co.uk/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=bazooka%20boy%202
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)
I'm ALWAYS honouring The Ding.
Stupid Hats
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:45, archived)
I'm mainly watching the water, there are currently no signs of fuck all, I'm at a loss

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:04, archived)
Still nothing?
Any idea why?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:12, archived)
wrong spot, it's 18 acres this lake, I think I'm a couple of days out on my swim selection, need to move

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:34, archived)
I went on sunday. Blanked. They were all over the bloody surface! Loads of em I tell ya!
Mate had one off the bottom. Then nada off zigs and floats
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
it's tough at the moment, weather keeps changing, they are on the top here now, might stick a big zig out

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:12, archived)
My grandad turns 100 this year.
He used to play the mandolin and the banjo and all sorts.
Maybe I could convince him to play guitar for you.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:05, archived)
Wow, good on him
Mrs Hats' nan has just turned 97. She's doddery as fuck though.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:13, archived)
My grandad still has all his marbles.
not very active though and he sleeps more than he's awake.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:14, archived)
When you reach 100, I think it's permitted
At least he has his mind. That must be the worse thing.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:15, archived)
yeah, my nan, on the other side of the family, has alzheimer's.
on the plus side, at least she has no idea that she's ill.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:21, archived)
yeah, just a shame for the people around her I guess
How sad.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:26, archived)
yeah, especially all the old boys in the home she keeps hitting on.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:28, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:40, archived)
Disgusting
I am planning to watch a wedding. The protagonists are, I dunno, mid thirties or summat. I don't really know them. They're friends of my wife.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:06, archived)
Oh christ, that is disgusting
I'm not keen on weddings. Why do they make you sit with people you don't know? Fuck mingling. I don't want to mingle. I want to talk to people I know and have a laugh.
And then drunkenly dance to Come On Eileen.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:14, archived)

dance to
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:16, archived)
Disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:25, archived)
\o/

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:27, archived)
Going to watch the telly,
Telly is about 3.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:41, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:19, archived)
I'm not sure who the first band playing is, Haven't left the hotel yet.
No idea.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:52, archived)
Where are you, Uncle Travelling Stuj?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:20, archived)
Donnington Monsters Of Rock 1986

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:23, archived)
There's an awful lot of upsettedness going on at /qotw
They really get their knickers in a twist, don't they
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:28, archived)
DEPLOY THE GIF
i.imgur.com/5BaWd.gif
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:29, archived)
done and done

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:40, archived)
show me
i'm not searching through that cesspool
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:28, archived)
lazy hippy
jelly.b3ta.com/questions/againstyourwill/
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:30, archived)
i clicked yours and i encourage others to do the same

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:39, archived)
bring out the samurai sword of vengeance

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:38, archived)
It's brilliant
It's all "I'M NOT UPSET, YOU ARE!"
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:43, archived)
fuck that place
they need more dogs in tights
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:17, archived)
Everywhere could benefit from more dogs in tights, to be honest

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:24, archived)
Bloodstock.
Well I will be when I finally get off the internet and leave.
:D
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:28, archived)
\m/ (oo) \m/
nice
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:37, archived)
Is this a fetish?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:54, archived)
Only if this is an answer

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:02, archived)
alright
Alt: morning
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:11, archived)
fuck off dozers
Alt: prick
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:21, archived)
get shitted, you faggot

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:11, archived)
that's fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot
If you please
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:30, archived)
soz m8

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:32, archived)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah sweet sweet sweet
Alt: disgusting
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:24, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:33, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:02, archived)
Quiet, this morning.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:54, archived)
alright double M

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:12, archived)
alright, dozers.
What happened to all the comedy racism? It's all comedy homophobia, now (which I'm uncomfortably comfortable with).
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
typical fudgepacker

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:41, archived)
I'm not a fudge packer, I'm a fudge packer's son.
And I'm only packing fudge 'til the fudge packer comes.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:55, archived)
with which I am uncomfortable
you paki faggot
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:49, archived)
I once had a friend who confided in me that his favourite joke was
What's red and yellow and looks good on a Paki?
Can't say I was terribly amused.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:04, archived)
I reconnected with an old school friend via facebook after about 10 years of not seeing one another
and then the racist text "jokes" started to arrive. Apparently all asian people smell funny and all black people are illiterate thieves.

We're not friends anymore.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:09, archived)
I wondered why you were ignoring me.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:20, archived)
*snubs*

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:24, archived)

lolbot.net/pix/32283.gif
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:20, archived)
:O

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:24, archived)
'comedy' homophobia?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:19, archived)

'comedy' homophobia disgusting
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:26, archived)
morning
alt: alright
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:02, archived)
yo sushi was crap
Well, not crap. Just overpriced. Came home and had a pizza and some ice cream.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:28, archived)
go to sakura on albert road instead
much better
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:32, archived)
There is nothing about albert road that could be described as better

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:35, archived)
shut your disgusting face

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:39, archived)
While Mr Horrible makes a valid point
I will try Sakura. Arigato, Manolith-San
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:36, archived)
they do delivery too!

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:38, archived)
I never want to wai
EDIT: You pig
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:39, archived)
too slow, chicken merengo
i was going to say that as in 'if you don't want to wait 6 months for another night away from the kids'
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
Ah, well yes
Plus they'd be pretty miffed to find out that we'd had japanese food and not included them.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:44, archived)
Domo arigato, Mr Roboto

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:54, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:57, archived)
Disgusting?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:04, archived)
Morning
Alt: story about defecation
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:06, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:33, archived)
Disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:48, archived)
hi
alt:ern 8
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:11, archived)
*raves*

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:36, archived)
couple of shitty bream, the carp are still playing hard to get

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:33, archived)
Bream!

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:35, archived)
B:Ream
Thiiiiings....can only get wetter
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:38, archived)
You could use the song Dirty Cash (Money Talks) as a theme tune:
Bivvy talks, mmm-hmm-hmm, bivvy talks
Dirty carp I want you, dirty carp I need you, woh-oh
Bivvy talks, bivvy talks
Dirty carp I want you, dirty carp I need you, woh-oh
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:37, archived)
Sounds like you want to fuck a fish.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:43, archived)
sounds like you DON'T want to fuck a fish
what the hell is wrong with you?
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:50, archived)
paki faggot probably

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:52, archived)
are they coy carp?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
OH COME ON!
THAT WAS FUCKING FUNNY
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:03, archived)
haha

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:12, archived)
funnier than that!

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:17, archived)
I'm not a laughing man, you know that

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:19, archived)
when it comes to laughing
you're less a cavalier, more a gnome
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:21, archived)
I'd suit being a gnome
Sitting in quiet contemplation, no one around to spout nonsense at me. Now that's happening.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:23, archived)
you know who to go to for fishing tips, too

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:25, archived)
True enough
I just need a pointy hat and an oversized toadstool. And a selection of Elton John numbers to perform with my fellow gnomes.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:28, archived)
not me, I can't buy a bite, I've switched to a single pineapple pop up now on slack lines, mind it's a beautiful day

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:34, archived)
so's your mum.

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:05, archived)
Fuck you and all who sail in you

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:22, archived)
So I thought I'd try some prune juice
I like prunes, it'll make a nice change I thought.

JESUS CHRIST!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 23:35, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgzbKe6_DN4
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 0:40, archived)
dear god
I stupidly drank 2 large glasses as it tasted nice.
FUCK!
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 0:59, archived)
Then what happened?

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 1:36, archived)
Let's just say
I'm not going to bed yet.
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 1:40, archived)
Did it have amphetamines in?
ugly missus / fella?
so many questions so little time
(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 1:47, archived)
Disgusting

(, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 8:23, archived)
Would you recommend it?

(, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:59, archived)
Im off out after work tonight.
What's your alcoholic beverage of choice?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:19, archived)
Virgin Strawberry Daiquiri

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:21, archived)
fruity

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:19, archived)
lftl, Bong, dark Bong
Hold on,
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:44, archived)
bout time for another bong hit, surely

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 22:25, archived)
is this a survey? I don't collect nectar points anyway, soz

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:23, archived)
well then you miss out being in the prize draw.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:10, archived)
On a school night? Fucking deviant
I like a nice masculine mojito
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:24, archived)
I had a blueberry Mojito the other week.
Fucking lovely it was.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:02, archived)
You want to try a dark mojito
Made with golden rum, brown sugar and ginger beer or ginger ale. Delicious.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:45, archived)
I most certainly will!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:57, archived)
Ale.
Good quality whiskies.
White rum with lemonade.
Scotch with dry ginger.
Southern Comfort with lemonade or ginger ale.
Imported lager.

Not all at once, though.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:26, archived)
I'm also quite partial to a Tequila Sunrise, or Long Island Iced Tea.
Thirsty, now.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:28, archived)
with the long island you are having them all at once, justsaying

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:31, archived)
i don't really like long island iced tea
too many strong flavours in one drink
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:35, archived)
Does your husband like it?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:26, archived)
listen yeah, shut up

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 22:26, archived)
fuck off

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:39, archived)
mr.h

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:51, archived)
rich

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:30, archived)
get cunted.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:03, archived)
Lager.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:51, archived)
gay

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:01, archived)
lager tops

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:02, archived)
no lime in it

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 18:03, archived)
Disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:25, archived)
Im sensing a theme

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:34, archived)
A disgusting theme

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:27, archived)
G&T ICE LOLLY

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:36, archived)
vodka neat then a sambucca neat

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:40, archived)
neato

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:41, archived)
that's a neato what now right

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:53, archived)
low polly

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 19:58, archived)
What stupidly-named cocktail are you

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:13, archived)
i hate comedy quiz shows

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:28, archived)
Sounds nice, what's in it?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:33, archived)
A short form of "isn't it", commonly used at the end of a statement for emphasis

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:37, archived)
that is a stupid name for a cocktail, 10 hundredy points lol

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:40, archived)
By cunts

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 20:42, archived)
Yet another flounce, sadtimes

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:04, archived)
I don't know the meaning of the word

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:07, archived)
Innit.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 22:27, archived)
ales and rum

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:29, archived)
In the same glass?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 21:38, archived)
depends how drunk I am

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 22:27, archived)
Anal Juice
5% without piles.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 22:59, archived)
Disgusting
Alt: disgusting?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:49, archived)
most tastes and smells

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:51, archived)
^fair

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:54, archived)
fat people

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:53, archived)
Good god, they're the WORST

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:55, archived)
Terrible bullying of 98% of this forum

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:06, archived)
10% of the people make up 98% of the mass

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:21, archived)
disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:56, archived)
DISGUSTING

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:08, archived)
Disgusting?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:21, archived)
I never wash my fishing pan, just heat it up and give it a wet wipe, I say it adds flavour

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:58, archived)
You could try a rod or net instead, just saying

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:57, archived)
I'm not that into foood, soz

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:26, archived)
I tell you what's really bad
Paedophiles. They really should make that illegal or something
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:09, archived)
Nazi

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:12, archived)
I'm not going to apologise for being old fashioned

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:14, archived)
MUNGE

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:12, archived)
FIDGE

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 15:16, archived)
my tshirt, currently
i've been moving heavy things all afternoon and now it's drenched
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:24, archived)
I got my John Mayall tickets
plus snacks and a bottle of wine
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:31, archived)
nice, a decent apology

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)
Quite
Right....sushi awaits! Ta-ra
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:39, archived)
gay

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:11, archived)
What is this, national moving shit about month or something?
Well fuck all y'all because I'm not moving shit. I'm on holiday from tomorrow.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:36, archived)
they're paying me to do it
so i can't really complain
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:11, archived)
Manual labour?
How very working class
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 17:15, archived)
that space between my ballsack and my arsehole

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:25, archived)
that's nearly all of you, sadtimes

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:27, archived)
the taint, the grundle, the fleshy fun-bridge

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)
So salty, so sweet

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 16:37, archived)
My balls have got all tangled up in my boxer shorts and hurt a bit
What is ruining your otherwise good day today?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:05, archived)
Yesterday I cut up some incredibly hot birds-eye chillis and then touched my winky.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:09, archived)
Fuck me that sounds awful
I've done similar with normal red chilis and that was bad enough. Also rubbed my eye after cutting chilis.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:10, archived)
Wasn't sure what the correct procedure for this was, I considered putting it in a glass of milk but didn't have any milk.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:20, archived)
you're supposed to cut it off and store it in the freezer

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:21, archived)
And then wait for them to invent a cure for chilli willy before having it reattached?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:24, archived)
that's what i've heard, anyway
since it'll be frozen solid, you can still take it out and stick it up your wife every now and then
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:41, archived)
Not sure that's a particularly sensible idea, won't she end up with chilli burn in her bits? Also the willy might freeze itself to her insides making it impossible to remove.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)
you have to put an industrial strength johnnie on it, i guess
actually, just don't bother. the rest of us will just take on more shifts
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)
Industrial strength johnnie
Great name for a band
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:12, archived)
There's a joke in there somewhere

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:25, archived)
my job

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:12, archived)
Fuck that shit, stand up and walk out
Punch the manager in the face on your way for good measure
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:14, archived)
I am looking for finer gainful employment currently

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:15, archived)
Maybe save punching your manager in the face until you've got something better to go to, eh

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:17, archived)
that's the plan
restraint is key
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:20, archived)
the fact that mongy hasn't caught anything yet
:(
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:21, archived)
If we keep rooting for him I'm sure he'll catch saink soon

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:25, archived)
A dose, probably

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:30, archived)
Just what is he using as bait?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:32, archived)
richworths tutti fruiti

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:51, archived)
I don't know what that is
What do you reckon to Charlton's chances this season then mongy?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:03, archived)
no idea, most of the players a Belgians now, probably fighting at the bottom again to survive

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:10, archived)
as long as you beat Sheffield Wednesday twice I'll be happy

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:11, archived)
I just don't get it mano, where dem fish at eh

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)
life is sometimes so utterly depressing i just want to top myself

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:28, archived)
cheer up you miserable cunt

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:30, archived)
oh ok

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)
That's better. I should be a counsellor

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:35, archived)
this goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)
Apple, anything made by Apple and anyone that has ever had anything to do with Apple

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:28, archived)
I need to try getting something from Garageband on my iPad to my MacBook Pro
That will determine whether it truly is a Sisyphean task or whether it's just you who's imcompetent
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:31, archived)
Yeah it's a piece of piss, you have to use iCloud

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:45, archived)
Fuck iCloud

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)
You make a good point, but using it does make transferring a Garageband song over easy

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:12, archived)
I'm trying this now
Cheers
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:13, archived)
Right, got the icloud thing on my laptop
I can see my garageband files, but I can't do anything with them (except delete). Now what?

Fucking Apple, man.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:22, archived)
gaz sent

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:33, archived)
Sent where??
WHERE????
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:42, archived)
up yo' ass

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:43, archived)
NO, MY FISSURE!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:48, archived)
I've been saying this for a decade but nobody listened.
170 quid for a battery swap even after you admitted it's a fault in the design? Get to fuck Apple, you monstrous pricks.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)
yeah, nobody listened
in the last 10 years you are the only person to complain about apple products
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:42, archived)
Erm, I think you'll find that lots of people have complained, Manolith
Erm...haha....errrrrrrmmm....hahaha....

EERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMM
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:14, archived)
Just found out that my bike is bent.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)
Did it try to have sex with you?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:45, archived)
Disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:46, archived)
what if his bike is a girl like gmos' and shambles'?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:49, archived)
That's opening a can of worms

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:51, archived)
disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:53, archived)
Bent as in homosexual!
lol
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)
don't get it

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:07, archived)
Disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:14, archived)
Disgusting

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:44, archived)
bent like fifa, or bent like 2 can?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 13:57, archived)
Bent as in the back wheel is out of shape,
on account of the bike rack slipping off the back of the car, and my bike taking the impact.
Getting a MaxxRaxx fitted, at the weekend.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)
alright?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:52, archived)
nah

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:53, archived)
:(

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:21, archived)
Yep
how are you?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:57, archived)
i'm waiting in for my handout from the food bank.
living the motherfucking dream, yo.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:21, archived)
eat a bag of dicks

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:57, archived)
ooooh
what flavour?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:58, archived)
cock-a-leekie

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:08, archived)
mmm cullurinary delights

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:11, archived)
Mushy Penis
I actually wish I hadn't typed that
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:15, archived)
because now you've spluffed everywhere?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:21, archived)
how long do you have to boil penis before it goes mushy?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:21, archived)
You don't boil it, you wrap it in cling wrap and use a meat hammer

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:23, archived)
Sexy as fuck.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:26, archived)
dick pound

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:48, archived)
I prefer his sister Fanny

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:07, archived)
beef curtains and onion

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:12, archived)
Bacon Rainbow flavour

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:39, archived)
Is that some new kind of diet?
Aren't there a lot of calories in dicks?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:22, archived)
There is in mine
cos it's like, so huge. But I can't speak for the rest of the population
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:40, archived)
alright mrs baldmonkey

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:00, archived)
yer
u?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:00, archived)
I gave my bike the nickname "Brenda"
I call her Bren' when it's just me and her.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:17, archived)
so you can tell people you've been riding brenda
lololol
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:31, archived)
no, because I felt my bike needed a name
AND because I could tell people I've been riding Brenda, LOLOLOL
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:39, archived)
my new bicycle doesn't have a name yet
I can't think of anything suitable ... she's too foxy for most names
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:59, archived)
so much bike, too much bike...
Incredibike.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:11, archived)
Then her name is Samantha

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:13, archived)
I ... you know ... I think you're right.
I might have to swap my googly eye dinosaur bell for one that looks like a boob
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:15, archived)
^
I heavily endorse this bell swap. BOOBS
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:22, archived)
I put a tin can between my tyre and my frame.
Then it pinged off and blinded an old lady.

Don't give a fuck!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:35, archived)
Rollin on 25" chromes

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:38, archived)

+ones
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:39, archived)
gettin down with the syndrome

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:41, archived)
people who name their vehicles are tiresome pricks.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:20, archived)
People who name any inanimate objects are tiresome pricks

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:21, archived)
my toaster, herod, would like a word.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:23, archived)
Tough, it can't, because it's a fucking toaster
Get a fucking grip
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:23, archived)
you tiresome prick

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:26, archived)
You inanimate object

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:28, archived)
are you calling forum hero gmos a prick?
because people have been banned for less than that
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:29, archived)
prickery is as prickery does.
and that's all i got to say about that.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:44, archived)
Did you want to make it BESPOKE?
hahaha spokes
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:59, archived)
i think he might be TYRED of people making bike puns
hahaha tyres
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:08, archived)
he could probably do with a brake from them.
hahaha brake
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:10, archived)
some of these are getting very COGnitive.
It's impressive how people are chaining them together.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:12, archived)
I've had enough myself
on yer bike.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:15, archived)
We've really got a handle on the situation

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:23, archived)
pedaling them out, one after the other

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:24, archived)
i'd have said pumping them out
hahaha pumps
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:27, archived)
hahahaha,we are just flat out

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:33, archived)
Say, where does a cyclist like to keep his toothpaste?
INNER TUBE!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:41, archived)
inner tube with a cap on the endo

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:48, archived)
Derailleur?
I hardly even knew her! haha sex
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:12, archived)
Great work!
I can tell this is a free hub of community humour and I doubt that'll ever shift.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:11, archived)
bicycle

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:13, archived)
man if you were a note, you'd be a bass one, a pedal note.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:15, archived)
you're a pedalophile

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:16, archived)
no

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:27, archived)
onomono
whats up?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:43, archived)
nothin'

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:07, archived)
so you're alright?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:26, archived)
no

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:18, archived)
iPads. iTunes and fucking Apple can fuck the fuck off
fucking cuntbag piece of shit
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:29, archived)
itunes is the worst, everyone knows it

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:36, archived)
it's fucking hopeless
I've done some garageband stuff and I want to move it onto my lappy, but the cunt won't let me. WHAT DO I DO, MANOLITH?? Come on, you're good at computers. Help me.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:39, archived)
Stop doing the job you're paid actual money for, and help your friend
for free
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:42, archived)
have you tried turning it off and on again?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:44, archived)
you hairy puke

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 11:45, archived)
have you tried power-cycling it?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:03, archived)
If by 'power-cycling' you mean 'throwing it against a wall'
then not yet.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:04, archived)
have you tried a hard reboot?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:09, archived)
that might re-sole the ish shoe

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:13, archived)
If in doubt, hit it with a hammer

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:05, archived)
this is sound computing advice

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:07, archived)
I'm getting fucking close
Oh I know, let's make a device that EVERYONE will want, but is hopelessly complicated to actually navigate. CUNTS. CUUUNNNTTTSS!!!!!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:11, archived)
Apple admit that they create things for you to use THEIR way.
They don't give a fuck about what YOU want to do.
I have no idea why people bother with such a self-centered atrocity.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:19, archived)
BECAUSE YOUR FACE, THATS WHY

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:29, archived)
YOU ARE MUM IS FACE!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:37, archived)
I'm sorry MONO, I shouldn't have said that
Did Steve Jobs die? Or was that the other guy?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
yeah it's lovely at the lake, just need to catch saink really

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:36, archived)
my legs don't work

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:41, archived)
lolparalysed

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:44, archived)
morning

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:16, archived)
deletion! mods!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:22, archived)
Cock off!
If you can't be arsed replying in a reasonable time then I reserve the right to withdraw my friendly greeting.

I hope you die in a fire.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:37, archived)
bwahaha
Alright gnomey
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:41, archived)
I'm OK thanks
And yerself?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:44, archived)
it fucking well is too ... I'm off work from lunch with a proper debauched weekend ahead

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:22, archived)
Oh do tell us what your weekend plans are, Uncle Shambles

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:24, archived)
we're dumping the kids with the au pair and going to a festival to get utterly utterly utterly mangled

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:29, archived)
Why not mangle the kids and take the au pair?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:33, archived)
I don't think the police would like that.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:39, archived)
I'm going to a Medieval festival in the middle of the Canadian prairies
Where people wear chainmail and walk around talking their perceived version of ancient English at each other. There's jousting and all sorts of fake shit going on and apparently it's worth visiting.

Incidentally, right next door at the same time the Blackfoot Confederacy will be holding their annual pow-wow- which is a fucking huge authentic Canadian event with a tradition that dates back hundreds of years.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:43, archived)
they should have a battle to settle old scores
I'd quite like to see a bunch of fat reenactment dweebs having their chubby skulls caved in with authentic stone axes
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:52, archived)
I don't think they use stone axes any more.
I might be missing this event anyway as we're selling this house and there's an electrician coming round that morning.

If he fucks off sharpish, then I'll get to have a laugh at the Game of Thrones fans- otherwise I'll just have to hang on here and try to link my UK and Canadian bank accounts again.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:06, archived)
living the dream, gnomer ... living the dream

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:24, archived)
Banking internationally is a pain
Once I get that sorted out things will be a lot easier.

Plus the new house is quite nice.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:38, archived)
you can't bank in France without going in and persuading the manager that you're decent upstanding citizens
it's like the fucking 1950s
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:01, archived)
Which festival?
'getting mangled' sounds painful
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:52, archived)
Joey Beacons

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:59, archived)
Who's he?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:00, archived)
blue peter pet spaz in the 1980s

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:06, archived)
That's "Deacon"
You Joey!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:07, archived)
mnnnnnnnng
greetingsfrombeacons.com
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:10, archived)
For one second I was hoping
There was a Joey Deacon festival.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:12, archived)
Simon Groom in the ones and twos
Sarah Greene and Lesley Judd lesleying it up in the mosh pit.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:24, archived)
I always had a thing for Janet Ellis.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)

Ellis Aylia
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:47, archived)
I knew it

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:54, archived)
wahey!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 12:24, archived)
I'd fuck her daughter just to pretend it was her.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:01, archived)
this is you
youtu.be/eBZ8nng-1-g
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:52, archived)
I love him and I love that.
Although the one time I've seen him at a festival since he made that he didn't play that ... which was terrible cowardice.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:59, archived)
pfft, i saw him at latitude and i mainly remember his version of the hollaback girl video

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:06, archived)
mentioning the weekend this early is cruel

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:25, archived)
I think I might have mentioned it on Monday.

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:30, archived)
I wasn't on morning duty on monday
Must have missed it.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:32, archived)
you're allowed to mention the weekend on a monday
as long as it's the weekend just gone.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:53, archived)
It's fine for me, because the weekend starts tomorrow
Boomtown here I come :D
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:53, archived)
my weekend starts in three hours
you part time weekender
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:00, archived)
Nice one
I suppose minne techinically starts at 6, BOOYAH!
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:08, archived)
go and see son of dave
also, a guy i know is doing a dj set but i don't know what his 'dj name' is
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:08, archived)
I have no idea who i'll see, i'll try to make a concious effort to see son of dave
but really it depends on where the lsd takes me
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:26, archived)
you kids and your drugs
tsk
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:33, archived)
I usually live quite a clean(ish) lifestyle
but I like to let myself go properly at least once a year, and Boomtown falling on my birthday nearly every year is just asking for it.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:43, archived)
'reet

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:23, archived)
alright

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:25, archived)
morning

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:26, archived)
alright

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:24, archived)
Working from home?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:26, archived)
nah, should be in on time today

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:48, archived)
i totes was as well

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:09, archived)
nice one

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:19, archived)
thanks man
i really pulled out all the stops this time
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:26, archived)
You're a legend in your own lunchtime

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:32, archived)
is it lunchtime already?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:34, archived)
FOOOD

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:36, archived)
i ate some foood once
and you know what, i'd do it again
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:38, archived)
I thought you'd like it
When I tried foood, I thought to myself "You know who'd like this?" I thought, "That Manolith, that's who."
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:40, archived)
are you saying he's fat?

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:52, archived)
No, maybe YOU'RE saying that

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:00, archived)
YOU'RE BOTH HORRIBLE BULLIES

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 10:05, archived)


(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:25, archived)
meaty

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:26, archived)
yo

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:35, archived)
hey!

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:42, archived)
alright black francis

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:49, archived)
morning mr h
hows tricks?
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:54, archived)
morning
Went to see Comics Unmasked at the British Library, yesterday, which was certainly more fun being at work today will be.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:01, archived)
jesus

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:14, archived)
morning Dozy

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:18, archived)
eat a bag of dicks

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:52, archived)
hiya

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:53, archived)
Morning
I had to have a shit in our new offices yesterday. It made me a bit sad, I prefer to do all my shitting in one of my own toilets.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 7:29, archived)
plus, technically, you've cost the company money for unproductive work
I'm not going to judge, I'll leave that to society.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 7:38, archived)
I shit four or five times a day when I'm working from home
Only God can judge me
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:13, archived)
alright, gonz

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:24, archived)
alright, gonz

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 7:56, archived)
Still not gonz, soz
Alright shambo
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:13, archived)
there's only room for one shitfail on this board
so to me you will always be gonz
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 8:23, archived)
makes sense

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 9:04, archived)
spanishfly paedophiled a disabled Greek kid

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:13, archived)
we have a right laugh here, hahaha

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:16, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:25, archived)
dead on the lake, no fish jumping at all. Bong

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:35, archived)
don't give up hope!
long live lftl
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:40, archived)
I never give up, can't catch if you ain't trying

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:43, archived)
Bong this just in, I'm having a Snickers and a coke, lakes dead, Bong

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 1:05, archived)
Dozer
What did you do after the matrix? Get fucked I imagine.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:42, archived)
after The Matrix?
I laughed at the risible bag of sci fi bollocks, and questioned the intelligence of anyone claiming it held any semblance of worth.
(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 7:22, archived)
I carried myself, a bag of sun cream, a hangover and a camera to the top of the Acropolis in Lindos yesterday
120m to the top in 38 degree heat, only to realise when we had climbed to the bottom we had left our camera up there so had to climb it again. In 38 degree heat. Only to realise that we had our camera all the time.

I will post a few pics when I get back.

What have you spastics climbed recently? Grrrmachines mum? Bumless bum?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:29, archived)
How can you post a few pics if you left your camera there

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:55, archived)
Read it you massive fucking noncespaz

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:13, archived)
Bit long, can you do a précis

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:17, archived)
I've found it
░░▄▄░▄███▄
▄▀▀▀▀░▄▄▄░▀▀▀▀▄
█▒▒▒▒█░░░█▒▒▒▒█
█▒▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒█
▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:09, archived)
I dunno what that is but I like it

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:12, archived)
old skool camera

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:16, archived)
looks like someone peeking at saink on my phone, live from the lake, Bong

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:35, archived)
It's a mexican in a volvo

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:03, archived)
Do you realise your initials are SS?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:14, archived)
yes

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:16, archived)
you are a fucking idiot

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:13, archived)
Go buy a watch you spaz

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:52, archived)
don't fucking talk to mongy like that, you cunt
I think you'd better apologise
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:27, archived)
How about you
Get fucked?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:40, archived)
Nice one ya spacky twunt
I don't need to climb mountains. I just stand next to them, and chop em down with the edge of my hand
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:40, archived)
What do you do with all the pieces?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:45, archived)
Fingers the mods

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:51, archived)
you mongolized dickworm

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:45, archived)
Alright shambles

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:52, archived)
Alright, spanfles.
You should get off the internet while you're on holiday. That's what dickends do.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:55, archived)
Dick ends get off on the internet
Or you wank your chops to kiddie munchies such as Nutella you and nonce?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 23:41, archived)
soz ... I don't speak Greek

(, Wed 6 Aug 2014, 7:56, archived)
I carried boxes from my car to my new flat 30 times today
Considering the flat is on the 4th floor, and it's 77 steps, and each step is 0.16m high, I climbed 360metres which is almost to the roof of the Empire State Building. Carrying a box.

How high have you climbed?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:11, archived)
361 metres

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:12, archived)
meaty

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:16, archived)
Yo d00d

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:39, archived)
Top of Ben Nevis.
1,344 metres (4,409 ft)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:15, archived)
prick

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:17, archived)
die in a fire.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:18, archived)
wanker

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:19, archived)
Yeah, but Achintee's already 104m above sea level
so you only really climbed 1,240 m
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:18, archived)
I was 9 at the time, what do I know?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:20, archived)
Jimmy Saville, intimately

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:22, archived)
No, he never replied to my letter :(

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:29, archived)
You obviously didn't use the right perfume

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:25, archived)
No lift?
Or were you just showing off?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:17, archived)
Lifts are only required in blocks of five floors or more
This cunt's on the fourth floor, but is then a two-floor flat, so they cheated so that they didn't have to install a lift.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:19, archived)
You're a cunt for moving in there, is my conclusion

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:20, archived)
Cheeky fuckers
want me to come over and burn the place down?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:21, archived)
I'd rather you didn't.
Come over, that is.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:24, archived)
*books flight*

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:58, archived)
I have climbed while on acid
Which is pretty fucking high.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:17, archived)
LOL DRUGS

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:24, archived)
how the fuck is that a maisonette, and how is your missus gonna get a baby and all it's stuff up and down

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:19, archived)
Chuck it off the balcony

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:20, archived)
The Michael Jackson method

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:30, archived)
Fuck it first then chuck it off the balcony

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:00, archived)
Basket on a rope
over the balcony.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:30, archived)
Which balcony?
I have two
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:25, archived)
The one that you sit on
drinking orange juice and eating a croissant looking like a smug shit.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:00, archived)
Oh, the upper balcony

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 22:04, archived)
course it's a maisonette, it's got two floors.
Fuck knows about the baby shit though, why would I care?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 20:24, archived)
its

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 21:27, archived)
I could do that spinning on my cock

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:37, archived)
How many fully grown adult herons would you feel comfortable sharing your daily commute in a Renault Clio with?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:25, archived)
One probably
Any more than that and I'd need a bigger car
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:27, archived)
or smaller herons
I'd breed an extra specially small heron so I could fit 1000 fully grown ones in the boot.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:44, archived)
Man, that'd be something
Like those tiny Spanish deers
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:14, archived)
Don't be ridiculous
Spain is a myth.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:19, archived)
I thought it was a mythter

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:28, archived)
prick

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:33, archived)
You love it, you horrible cunt

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:37, archived)
I hope you choke on bear cock

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:38, archived)
Oooh! So do I!

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:41, archived)
Well I hope you don't then
I hope a mandrill rips your left leg off and taunts you by kicking you in the head with it repeatedly until you die.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:43, archived)
dead or heavily sedated they might make a comfortable cushion, so four or five.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:29, archived)

five hundred and seventy eight
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:32, archived)
You're confusing herons with ping pong balls

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:33, archived)

Nine billion and ten and that's my final offer
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)
I reckon I could fit a fair few into the back of my transit
but the noise would probably piss me off as it takes an hour to get to work
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:32, archived)
What if they slept the entire journey?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)
then at least 100 if they were packed in tight

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:56, archived)
lol commuter loser

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:47, archived)
I usually stay away, so being an hour from home is actually quite nice, plus i get paid more for driving than actually being at work

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:55, archived)
to be honest, i dont think i'd be 'comfortable' with any

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)
Tsk
liberal and open minded, my arse
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:42, archived)
http://i.imgur.com/jEqDTgL.jpg

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:57, archived)
the seepage is a trifle unnecessary

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:00, archived)
How did you know it was trifle?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:06, archived)
look closely, you can just make out the sponge

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:15, archived)
what the fuck is wrong with you.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:22, archived)
i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:36, archived)

i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont repost this comment on 10 other pages i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans and I am funky
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:40, archived)
aaaaah
so that's how it's done
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:58, archived)

that's how it's done grwasshoppah
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:00, archived)

I still don't get it
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:06, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kung_Fu_(TV_series)
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:17, archived)
i'm sorry, i don't understand the answer

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:45, archived)
I don't understand YOUR MUMS FACE

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:51, archived)
no, you are mum is face

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:54, archived)
How dare you
Mine Mum is face are an saint
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:01, archived)
your mine mum is face are an saint is mum's face

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:16, archived)
what kind of herons?
I don't really like the common grey ones but I wouldn't mind the Squacco.

Also ... my commute is a five minute walk so the Clio wouldn't really be useful.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:49, archived)
you could just house the herons in the clio like some sort of villainous mobile aviary.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:57, archived)

the herons a load of bees
v p
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:04, archived)
I really could do with a heron aid

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:13, archived)

really could do with once gave
+s
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:16, archived)
and how!

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:17, archived)
HAHAHA! CLASSIC BALDMONKEY!

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:21, archived)
I'm not a fan of herons, so none

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 17:48, archived)
herons are wonderful birds that can perfectly well complete their daily commute without folding themselves up into the inadequate space offered by a renault clio

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:57, archived)
Not if they're chained together in preparation for their working day of sexual slavery

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 18:59, archived)
schoolboy error there of confusing herons with your mum, mr horrible

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:02, archived)
over the marshes, over the garden ponds, land somewhere in the middle of a field with a stream noticed only by herons, stand very still for a very long time, avoid other herons, pack up and fly back to roosting site again
NO renault clios
NO nectar points
NO free newspapers
NO issues with armrest rage
NO headphones tinkitytinkiychikchikchikchaAARGH
In conclusion, herons are better commuters than humans
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:01, archived)
I could never feel comfortable in a Renault Clio

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 19:05, archived)
So.....
What do you reckon? Come on, seriously, what do you reckon?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:49, archived)
chinny

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:50, archived)
i reckon that having looked at it for a while, 'reckon' is a pretty weird word, actually

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:53, archived)
agreed
and 'cough'
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:56, archived)
agreed
and 'agreed'
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:56, archived)
i concur

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:01, archived)
Oh, The Doveston
It's spelt "Conquer"
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:03, archived)
nu uh, it's conker

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:11, archived)
quoncker

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)

Take some Benilyn
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:35, archived)

Reckon backwards is nokcer.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:34, archived)
the Jews will win

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)
That's hardly news
They've always been in charge
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:57, archived)
I believe that children are our future.
Scheming murderous little bastards.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 13:58, archived)
At last, some FACTS

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:00, archived)
and without our secret army of BBC radio DJs they will never be stopped

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
Yeah, I reckon I could.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:06, archived)
That's the spirit!
Bit of positivity for once!
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:08, archived)
he can't though, let's face it

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:12, archived)
Hey
He could do anything that he sets his tiny mind to
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:13, archived)
probably
*shrugs*
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:12, archived)
Fucking probably?
Come back when you're sure, yeah?
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:19, archived)
I might.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:23, archived)
i reckon we're done for

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:17, archived)
How long do we have?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:19, archived)
T minus 2 minutes

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:21, archived)
I reckon your mum would conclude that i'm a charming, young man

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:20, archived)
I fucking doubt it
She doesn't think well of anyone
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:22, archived)

I fucking doubt it
She doesn't thinkwell of anyone LOVE it
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:37, archived)
i reckon you don't understand how to do strikethroughs

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:47, archived)

I reckon you're right, I ain't a fucking nerdy computer type, soz
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:56, archived)
yes you are, just not a very good one

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:08, archived)
I'm really not, I'm just the only one in my company fluent in english, so they gave me a computer and an easy job
with enough boredom involved to warrant b3ta. I started as a builder.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:17, archived)
I'd rather be a competent nerdy computer type than
whatever it is you are
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:21, archived)
Sound, I wouldn't

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:44, archived)
^upset

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:17, archived)

i.imgur.com/5BaWd.gif
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:21, archived)
Haha
heavens above
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:29, archived)
i have been poised, waiting for someone to use the U word

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:33, archived)
the bbc reckon that someone has worked out an equation for happiness
news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/76658000/jpg/_76658853_76658852.jpg
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:39, archived)
Is that the recepe for making meth?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 14:53, archived)
Chris Jericho was on Reddit
Thought you should know.
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:24, archived)
cool, doing an ama presumably?

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:31, archived)
yes

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:42, archived)
his answers were about that concise also.

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:42, archived)
most AMAs are like that because they get thousands of questions

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:48, archived)
The david attenborough one was quite awesome

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:55, archived)
I liked the John Carter Cash one.
He actually gave proper answers.

I'd prefer it if all people doing AMAs gave 2 real answers than 1,000,000 "yes"s
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:01, archived)
that's fucking bullshit

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:16, archived)
dunno, just not getting the vibe, been here over an hour

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:48, archived)
this place is dead on its arse

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 15:56, archived)
so are my club lakes, mid week fishing rules

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:01, archived)
I havent had the rods out since moving from the sea to the edge of the thames
havent had the inspiration for some reason
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:03, archived)
i bet you've had your rod out plenty of times

(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:21, archived)
Yeah, but I can't talk about those times here, or all the single, lonely, computer nerd types will form jealous and bitter, biased hatred of me
and be mean to me all the time
(, Tue 5 Aug 2014, 16:30, archived)

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