I need to buy a router but not the internet type; the one for cutting wood.
What's your favourite power tool? If you're a queer nancy who doesn't like power tools, what's your favourite word with two meanings?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 9:56,
archived)
Have you ever shot a 7' giant in the head like in Happy Gilmore?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:22,
archived)
i sincerely hope i've never done anything in my life like adam sandler(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:26,
archived)
I bet you've been a wedding singer.I bet you've adopted a child just to impress a woman.
I bet you've kept trying to sleep with a woman even though she pretends not to remember you every single day of her fucking life in the hope that you'll go away.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:36,
archived)
That was Big ShowAnother unreasonably tall man called Paul. Really makes you think.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:38,
archived)
it wasn't big show in happy gilmoreit was richard 'jaws' kiel
big show has been in at least one sandler atrocity though
(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:43,
archived)
yeah, he powerbombs a guy, if memory serves(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:53,
archived)
yeah, he makes the guy's nethers uncomfortably fizzyit's his finishing move
(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:57,
archived)
yeah, he makes the guy's nethers uncomfortably fizzyit's his 'finishing move'
(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:20,
archived)
what is the other meaning of that?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:25,
archived)
They were clearing the old workshop out and I got a little lathe. That was a cunt to get through the house to the shed(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:03,
archived)
you used a lathe to tunnel through your house?(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:15,
archived)
Dunno I like them all really, couldn't do without my 24v hilti sds drill tho (
mongychops, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:08,
archived)
Do you do much drilling these days?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:22,
archived)
Do you make your own clothes out of burlap?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:23,
archived)
not yet,i only got it the other week
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:40,
archived)
I prefer hand toolspower tools can be fun of course, I use a jigsaw a lot, mostly down to convenience really so maybe that.
(
MONO!, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:22,
archived)
I've got to make some fucking massive bookcasesand the idea of doing all the cuts by hand fills me with dread.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:23,
archived)
yeah, I mean if it's something I need to quickly knock up then I tend to use power tools.but if it's something I'd like to take my time with and be really accurate with then I use hand tools and enjoy myself.
(
MONO!, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:34,
archived)
haha a jigsaw is a picture that you put together, not a tool hahahahidiot
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:41,
archived)
maybe he's thinking of a jigsaw MAKERwhich is like a handheld electric saw that you use to cut the complete picture into jigsaw pieces. the idiot.
(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:47,
archived)
probablyMy god, he's SO stupid. Like, imagine the stupidest thing you can, right? Then multiply it by INFINITY...then you're half way to how stupid MONO is. Stupid.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:49,
archived)
that's a complicated one as the stupidest thing i can imagine IS mono(
manolith hooray for me, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:56,
archived)
UR MUM'S FACE IS A TOOL, M8(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:24,
archived)
Is that like a gay dating app exclusively for English people?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:57,
archived)
he'd put up with it as long as he could...but the strain of being in poland was beginning to show. if only... thought grrrmachine... if only there was a way of getting back to england AND getting the man of my dreams into the bargain...
(
vladimir, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 11:54,
archived)
dunnocock probably
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:39,
archived)
Yeah, it's a male chickenAND a type of valve for shutting off water
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:51,
archived)
haha that's what I meant yes(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:59,
archived)
power tool our friends(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:41,
archived)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U56KbegdkGs
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 10:52,
archived)
yeah, I need my new router to do a bit of boring(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 12:09,
archived)
alright, calm down(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:17,
archived)
that's more like itAlright?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:18,
archived)
phew, good thing you came along(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:17,
archived)
Big brown logs?Beware Black Ladies?
Buy beef lasagne?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:30,
archived)
I think it's all three(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:32,
archived)
haven't you finished in there yet?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:40,
archived)
I did one recently that was so smelly that I couldn't stand itNormally you can tolerate your own, but this was ungodly
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:42,
archived)
mine smelled of pickled onionsmight have been the whiskey
might have been the handful of homemade pickled onions
I doubt it was the whiskey, you never know though
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MONO!, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:52,
archived)
did you remember to wash your hands?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:45,
archived)
alwaysI do however work in a place where only 1% of people seem to wash their hands
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MONO!, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:50,
archived)
you can catch it from toilet seats you know(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:56,
archived)
I hope someone does a morning thread soonwhile there's still time
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 7:17,
archived)
I think you just did.Morning grrry
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 7:50,
archived)
morning 2canare you really named after a vomiting jungle bird?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 7:52,
archived)
did you get arseraped last night?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:05,
archived)
I don't knowI slipped myself a rohypnol.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 8:10,
archived)
I have read your profile and it is obviously that your a foggot.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 20:06,
archived)
if you livd close by gaycunt I would be over your place with five friends tonightbut seriously, i hope he sends you a signed pic
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 20:39,
archived)
Alright FGM(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 0:07,
archived)
quiet at mine upstairsNot been in the downstairs bar yet.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 18:01,
archived)
What's your handicap?Other than the missing fingers, lolololololol
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:33,
archived)
i've been informed by the IOC that missing about 7mm off the top of your finger is not a handicap, my dreams of being in team gb are in ruins (
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:44,
archived)
is there not an olympic 10 pin bowling team?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:45,
archived)
i'm left handed and the missing bit is on the right, and no i don't think there is (
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:46,
archived)
it's OK I think we can get you into the paras if you play thiscdn.tiger-stores.com/uploads/c_product/1701060_picture_5039_1.jpg
(
vladimir, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 17:53,
archived)
obviously you'd not have to play the naked version, as illustrated here(
vladimir, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 17:54,
archived)
pitch is a bit small, what is it 1 a side(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 17:55,
archived)
equal rights for our one-legged footballers!!(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 18:04,
archived)
I know a footballer with a wooden leg by the name of smith(
vladimir, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 18:18,
archived)
So you could be that prick at parties who gets out a guitar?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:33,
archived)
i sometimes wish i'd learned the harp when i had the opportunityi'd love to be the prick at the party who turns up with a harp
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:43,
archived)
I'd like to turn up with a full size pipe organ(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:46,
archived)
Nothing gets a party going like a tuba(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:54,
archived)
i'm pretty good on a jaw harpand talk box too. not up to t-pain standards, obvs.
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 16:05,
archived)
a talk box is an enclosed speaker leading to a tube which is held in the corner of your mouth that lets you use your mouth as a filter/modulatornot a foot pedal
(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 16:54,
archived)
except the Heil Talkboxand the MXR Talkbox. Both pedals. Both need a guitar to make them work.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 17:28,
archived)
unlike a /talk box, which just calls you a prick(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 17:36,
archived)
See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup
Yeah buddy that's Mono
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 15:40,
archived)
Quoting Dire Straits makes you a weapons-grade prick(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 16:37,
archived)
^a love-struck Romeo(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 16:40,
archived)
He do the walk, he do the walk of life(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 16:42,
archived)
Phantom Toothache! From recently extracted toothWhats boiling your goat today?
(
Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:44,
archived)
that has just really made his day(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:53,
archived)
I'm having two teeth out soon.Just waiting for a phone call to tell me when.
(
MONO!, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:46,
archived)
I actually work at a dentistThe extraction went fine, didn't bother me at all appart from the initial injection. Its the pain's and aches after the anesthetic wears off is the worst.
My boss pulled my wisdom teeth out, it's roots were doing the splits!
(
Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:50,
archived)
mine are both wisdom teeththey're going to do them both in one sitting, local anesthetic.
(
MONO!, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:53,
archived)
You'll be fine.Mainly don't suck/ poke the holes with your tongue afterwards, get a stack of paracetomol and maybe some bonjela, salt for mouthwash and don't run about. Soft food is a must, Overcooked macaroni cheese/ soup is your friend.
Injection isn't great, you'll just feel a bit of pushing and pulling during the actuall extraction hopefully. Just getting to the back teeth is a bit of an arse for the dentist, I kept closing my mouth under la without realising it.
I love performing extractions, not a big fan of the aches after! It's getting slowly better but it's all I can think about as its a pain in my head!
(
Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:01,
archived)
I got a nasty infection when I had 2 out.I didn't leave the gauze in long enough and swallowed a load of blood. It was well gross vomiting blood everywhere.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:04,
archived)
I'm going to pick at it like an old scab.I'm sure that's the best thing to do right?
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MONO!, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 14:07,
archived)
is it the two front ones?are you going to ask for them back at christmas?
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:58,
archived)
hey, try thisit tests how well you can lie under pressure, sort of
jayisgames.com/games/indefinite/
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:48,
archived)
Not much, no one us really around Both managers are out so there's no jobs being handed out.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:52,
archived)
It's this lack of pro-active thinking that keeps the working classes where they fucking belong.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:54,
archived)
I'll have you know I was having a wander round and spotted a leaky radiator. It is no longer leaking.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:01,
archived)
Draining the entire heating system isn't really a fix.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:05,
archived)
Our manager is sat at work taking callsNo dentists in today, just taking any calls or people coming in to make/ cancel appointments. That will be me on Friday, sat on my arse at a desk in an empty building.
(
Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:55,
archived)
Why have a dentist with no dentists in?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:05,
archived)
Because even a dental practice needs a filling once in a while.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:06,
archived)
My colleague and I have been so productive that there's nothing for us to do for the entirety of August.But I still have to log into the system every day to register my presence, rather than staying in bed trying to break the wanking world record.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:55,
archived)
I have to go in on friday with no other staff inLitteraly to hold the fort as we have to be open even though no one is there. I've been handed my notice as they are overstaffed so will be doing my best to apply for jobs and do coursework maybe for a few hours. Appart from that, maybe race down the corridor on the spinny chairs?
(
Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:03,
archived)
I work from home, so there are no corridors to race downBut I do need to buy myself a good spinny chair.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:12,
archived)
why can't you log into the system from your bed?(
brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:14,
archived)
I can, but if you're inactive for 10 minutes it starts logging you off systems again.So I'd have to keep my wanks short and frequent rather than one massive edging tantric explosion of self-love.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:21,
archived)
Buy a programmable mouse or just use autohotkey to program a macro that logs you in every 15 minutes and leave it running.I did something similar to reach level 80 in Grand Theft Auto online.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:25,
archived)
cdn.makeagif.com/media/7-28-2014/AnSME7.gif
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brb homonecrobatrachophile, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:27,
archived)
yes, or that.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:31,
archived)
People whinging about their minor ailments(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:22,
archived)
some people make a living out of shit like this.(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 13:25,
archived)
The new Nigerian chef we've just hired.(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 14:50,
archived)
alrightI sold a phone dirt cheap on Ebay because I thought the screen was broken, turns out it just needed charging.
Why are you a completely useless fucking mong?
(
Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:34,
archived)
I am not, but my boss ishe just e mailed me asking where I am and why I have not arrived for work yet.
I am sat right behind him, in the same office, and there are only the two of us in.
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:37,
archived)
I threw a tiny packet of sugar at my boss one time.he got like 100 times more upset than I thought he was going to.
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:59,
archived)
that is quite a specific amount more upsethe was probably sweet enough all ready (I want to stab people in the eye that say this when you ask them if they would like sugar in their tea/coffee)
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:05,
archived)
Gosh!Someone clearly needs more sugar in their tea!
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:22,
archived)
i painted an L and an R in tippex on my bosses shoes oncehe was quite OK with it really but i did have to wash them in the toilets
(
sock more tea vicar?, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:07,
archived)
I just ignored himhe will work it out eventually, probably when he hears the keys on my keyboard typing this.
(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:00,
archived)
What kind of fucked up working evironment would have you turn up for work to the same room as your boss,silently sit down behind him and start working without even saying hello?
Are you both autistic?
(, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:44, archived)
probably still from when i cracked my phone screen the other dayit's a long story though and really it was the cat's fault anyway
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:48,
archived)
I've only ever broken one phone in 15 yearsand that was by running it over with the car.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:49,
archived)
You dropped the phone because your finger was in the cat? Not sure that's really the cat's fault.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:49,
archived)
No, the appearance of the cat caused the dog that manolith was fingering to bolt awayand the sudden lurch caused manolith to drop his phone and ruin the Youtube video he was making for his DogFingering channel.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:53,
archived)
you're still my only subscriberbut that still gives me more subscribers than your lego bullshit
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:08,
archived)
350+ drongos subscribed to my dronerific programming videosA bit of childhood nostalgia really helps rack up the viewing figures.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:34,
archived)
bloody hellthe internet really does cater for all the worst kind of perverts
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:58,
archived)
Apparently even if you live in the middle of a massive sandy plain 300 miles from the seawhere the only body of water will kill you with nickel and mercury poisoning before you drowned, you should still be able to swim. Which I can't do, and don't want to. And the missus views this as some sort of character flaw.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:49,
archived)
swimming is for cunts.(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:51,
archived)
In a disaster movie where there's a plane crash in the oceanand there's a guy that drowns an ethnic old lady/pregnant woman by grabbing hold of them screaming "I can't swim hereeelpmeee" then dragging them under.
You're that guy.
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:54,
archived)
Doing the post-apocalyptic society a favour then, aren't I.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:57,
archived)
Maybe that why she see's it as a flaw.You are a burden on sea based community in emergency scenarios.
And therefore not exactly marriage material.
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:02,
archived)
the pregnant and the elderly are liabilities in an emergency situationyou're better off letting them go
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:01,
archived)
Yeah but no-one thinks that at the timeand they call that guy a prick even though he's dead too.
Surely the pregnant are more nutritious/save-one-get-fifty-percent-extra-free type deals though right?
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:07,
archived)
Rolf Harris used to encourage children to learn to swim, in case they fell into a river or summatnow I don't know WHO to trust :(
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:55,
archived)
Are we saying that swimming is for paedos now?(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:56,
archived)
^this is what I mean(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:00,
archived)
I still enter a space in the message box when posting one line replies on /talk␣
(
RedStar returneth, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:04,
archived)
My bumhole grumbled at me this morning90 seconds later it coughed out the most revolting blast of liquid shit all over my throne. There'd been no warning, no colonic bloating to signal that it was Shitting Time, no prior stomach-growling that something might not be right with my digestive juices. Just a single sharp fart, a rapid clenching of my sphincter, and then BAM - a dysentry grenade all over my toilet.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:21,
archived)
I wonder if there's any money in writing scat fanfic(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:27,
archived)
I know what you did on two hats lawn last summer(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:30,
archived)
The Girl With The Spastic Colon(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:33,
archived)
Gulliver's Diarrhea(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:39,
archived)
The Crimp of Monte Cristo(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:40,
archived)
Honey, I've got the shits(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:19,
archived)
Stool hand Luke(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:36,
archived)
I miss stujand his obsessions
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:32,
archived)
he's still around sometimesi do miss seeing 'lovely' in all caps though
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:36,
archived)
LOVELYYou're welcome.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:52,
archived)
yeah, he meant it thougheverything you say is tinged with the bile of the deeply unhappy
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 12:14,
archived)
oh what a time to be alive(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:31,
archived)
yes sorry you missed it(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:47,
archived)
I doubt I was alive thenor I'd have noticed.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:52,
archived)
i think i was putting my contacts in at that pointso yes, i agree
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:31,
archived)
I'd reply but we've already said morning to eachother and we're barely acquaintancesSo I'm not sure what conversational avenue I should pursue at this point.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:46,
archived)
close call, they can't even spell sexprobably a small child. you could have been to catch a predator'd
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:32,
archived)
The weather is much more to my liking today, grrrmachineSo yes, GOOD morning. Good morning to all.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:32,
archived)
We had a mental storm yesterday; 2 or 3 lightning flashes per secondand the office block over the road got hit, which made a tremendous boom.
I like that sort of weather.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:39,
archived)
Yeah, I like a good stormWe've not had much in the way of lightning so far, but it definitely feels stormy.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 8:42,
archived)
it's been threatening to do it for a week or so now(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:29,
archived)
It sure hasAlright? Good weekend?
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:37,
archived)
mixed bag. i was supposed to get to go in a swimming pool on saturday but couldn'tyou?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 9:46,
archived)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-33587803
(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:11,
archived)
Even though she's 52I'd still rub my clay-smeared potter's hands all over her, if you know what I mean.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:19,
archived)
From the context, I think you mean 'engage in an act of physical intimacy'(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:21,
archived)
I know what you mean.(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:41,
archived)
he said 52. there wasn't a decimal point in there(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:54,
archived)
Yeah, it was okFamily bbq on saturday (so-so) and the food festival yesterday (better)
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:13,
archived)
what sort of food was at this festival?chips?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:21,
archived)
Have you not been to it before?It's the one in Palmerston Road. It's marvellous, almost every type of cuisine you can imagine. I had sin-japanese noodles, burritos, shish kebab and jerk chicken stew. Bloody lovely.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:23,
archived)
Nah, nearest one's commercial road I think(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:34,
archived)
not much of a foood festival without everybody's favourite treat (
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:41,
archived)
true enoughthey did have burgers there, but nothing as fancy as McDonalds
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:42,
archived)
subway pisses me off, i refuse to go in there anymore after the hoops i had to jump through just to get a ham salad roll(
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:42,
archived)
Which bread would you like?Is that a small or a footlong?
Do you want double cheese?
Would you like it toasted?
What salad items would you like?
What seasoning would you like?
Do you want a sauce on that?
Would you like that as part of a meal deal?
Would you like a cookie?
Are you collecting our sub stamps?
That'll be an exorbitant amount of money please. Have a nice day.
I want a fucking sandwich, not a round of Mastermind.
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:49,
archived)
haha, yeah it's awful when you can get exactly what you want instead of the closest thing to it(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:55,
archived)
I just walk in there and say "I'll have that please".They make it for me and ask for money.
(
MONO!, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:58,
archived)
"Can you make me a bacon sandwich the way my wife does on Sunday mornings?"...
"No I don't know how she makes it, otherwise I'd make it myself you useless fucktard."
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:02,
archived)
i just want a ham salad roll, not a pop quiz on salad items (
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:04,
archived)
as mono said though you can just point to it and they'll make it as standardi prefer being able to choose salad and sauce though
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:19,
archived)
I'm not risking it still got post dramatic subway disorder (
mongychops, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:25,
archived)
Have you put put black tape around the 6- and 12-inch points on your tape measure?(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:31,
archived)
fair enoughthey're too expensive anyway
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:39,
archived)
you fattyi haven't been no. i went to some sort of international food market at gunwharf once. got some pate.
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:37,
archived)
And when you say "couldn't"I'm assuming this was some sort of Paul Bunyan type situation?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:13,
archived)
sort ofmy friends bought a really big pool and the packaging said it'd take 4 hours to fill.
after nearly 7 hours it was just below knee height so i didn't bother. the sun had gone in
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manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:20,
archived)
I'm sure this is retrospectively clearbut it might have been an idea to start filling it earlier in the day
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:22,
archived)
yeah, they dropped the ball a bit. although they did start a couple of hours before people were supposed to arrivei have no idea where the manufacturer got 4 hours from though. you'd need a firehose
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:38,
archived)
Never mind, there'll be another chance I expectHow are you getting on with batman?
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:43,
archived)
yeah, pretty good. the save menu says i'm 50-odd percent donei've taken down two-face and i have one riddler bit left to do
you?
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:53,
archived)
Little bit further on than you I think, so I won't say anythingToo many vital Batmobile missions, imo. But there we are.
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:58,
archived)
that's what everyone saysgawd, you're such a conformist
cheers though, i wish i had more time to play it
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:04,
archived)
Done the final Riddler challengethe driving bits for those are a nightmare
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:07,
archived)
i didn't mind them so muchthey reminded me of some of the ridiculous driving stunts you had to do in carmageddon games. i've done the last car bit for the riddler, i think. i assume the 'final exam' back at the orphanage is something else
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:20,
archived)
Carmageddon was fucking great though.The only game that comes close was Burnout 3 on the PS2.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:30,
archived)
yeah, i think i've played every game in the seriesmy routine used to be come home from school, get bike, do paper round, come home, put on the pc and the radio, play carmageddon and listen to mark & lard
(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 11:38,
archived)
They should have used water instead of mooncup donations.(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:51,
archived)
what would be the point without all of the 'restorative powers'(
manolith hooray for me, Mon 20 Jul 2015, 10:54,
archived)
I'm having scones, skons, skoughnes and sceunz with jam then cream then butter then jam then flapjack, in that order(
vladimir, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 16:38,
archived)
just the one slice, or would you like type 2?
lovely why not
(
vladimir, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 16:41,
archived)
morning. I'm waiting for a TV to be delivered.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 11:15,
archived)
I'm waiting for my in-laws to show up(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 11:17,
archived)
Ducks though, eh?Wak wak wak wak
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 22:23,
archived)
Saw this earlier, really sad news, thought maybe we could all club together to raise some money to buy new toys for teh poors kittehzwww.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-33570266
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 22:27,
archived)
Post this on Facebookand then defriend everyone who responds with "D'awww!", "Squee" or "that makes me a do a cry :(((".
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 10:52,
archived)
or bag them all up and chuck them in the river(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 19 Jul 2015, 10:55,
archived)
i was imagining you as rating my brilliant joke as 'alright'and equating that judgement to a mark between 0 and 10, 0 being rubbish and 10 being brilliant, and assuming that 'alright' meant in the middle.
(
artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 23:07,
archived)
sup gobbo(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 22:33,
archived)
k just a little offended now(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 22:59,
archived)
All left lol yeh Saturday night(
Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 18:38,
archived)
Well no apparently without any input I trolled a dull perverted lying cunt on social media, I'm disgusted at myself (
mongychops, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 18:46,
archived)
Oh-oooohhhh, I want goss, what hapened?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 21:59,
archived)
Just rented my spare flat out to a load of studentsWhat were your student digs like? If you didn't go to university, what's the shittest place you've lived?
(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 13:03,
archived)
Had a bedsit for 6 months in 1992hated it.
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djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 13:06,
archived)
Hi Grrmachine.We had mushrooms growing in the shower, heaps of rubbish in the living room and slugs in the hallway. The landlord issued us a formal letter saying it was in a condition "beyond any human expectation." There was human shit on the hand towel. One of my housemates caught TB and nearly died. Lol students.
(
Zuowan, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 13:17,
archived)
So it was a dump of your own making rather than a grotty hovel the landlord wasn't maintaining?
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 14:25,
archived)
So basically either you, or someone you chose to live with, doesn't know the basics of anal hygiene.
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Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 16:00,
archived)
doesn't know the basics of Western civilisationby the sound of it
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 16:11,
archived)
Answers: yes, yes, yes and yes.I didn't shit on the towel, it was almost certainly one of the couple of housemates who liked to mix vodka and GHB and often had days missing from their memory.
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Zuowan, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 16:16,
archived)
I have never lived in student digsBut I am going to the horse racing in about an hour so have that instead.
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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 13:45,
archived)
My wife's flatmate had scabies, so everything had to be boil washed.My student digs had 2 downstairs rooms converted into bedrooms. Mine was a little bit mouldy, the other was uninhabitable, so my friend had to bring his mattress into my room and spent half the year kipping on my floor. After hooking up with one of the girls in our house, he spent the other half of the year shagging in every room but his own.
(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 14:20,
archived)
My room in the student house was the only one with a double bedand I'm sure everyone used it as the fuck-surface when I wasn't around.
I used it like that too, but only when their mothers were visiting.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 14:25,
archived)
My room was adjacent to the kitchen.One evening I emerged and was greeted with a round of applause. Was probably the same day that we broke the bed.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 14:31,
archived)
Queen's Road, BucklandFuck me, that was grim
(
Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 15:04,
archived)
Too much detail, 2Hats.(
monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 16:13,
archived)
Buckland?You are a hobbit AICMFP.
(
Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 16:14,
archived)
I lived just off thereBurleigh road
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 17:42,
archived)
B3ta Tart.I don't know who you are but what you did was awe inspiring and Courtney and her family are dumbfounded how someone they don't know could do such a selfless act. The same goes to everyone else who donated money to help them out.
www.gofundme.com/z4ej9he6?utm_source=internal&utm_medium=email&utm_content=cta_button&utm_campaign=upd_n
(
riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 2:17,
archived)
Must be something to do with the lies you've been telling (
drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 7:55,
archived)
Tell us more about her barely legal tits again(
Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 9:15,
archived)
Tell us about her real ageOr about the ever-changing prognosis you keep making up
(
drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 10:23,
archived)
is there a back story I've missed here? Other than the know fact that river ghost is a lying needy cunt (
mongychops, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 10:41,
archived)
Sounds like you know the majority of the story20 year old girl on the Internet gets hodgkin lymphoma, mother needs money to afford being by bedside, sounds good, worthy cause. Riverghost springs into action, only now she's 18 and depending on which post you read, she has the deadliest cancer, she has 2 years left, 1 year left, needs the money because she can't afford the treatment, etc, I just don't really understand the need to lie. Perhaps it's clever marketing by riverghost, like when he was saying people should donate because of her big tits.
Also, he's been pushing the gofundme online for weeks, he says, although it was only set up a week ago...
(
drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 11:05,
archived)
Sounds like a con job, especially since I never donated but it says I have (
mongychops, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 11:17,
archived)
Crowd funding works that you are charged when to total is reached.Thanks for the donation as the target has been reached. I think you really need to assess you life. :)
(
riverghost servicing your mum since, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 17:57,
archived)
Do you think this dating site is all that? worth a tenner a month for fuck all SHOW ME UR BUMHOLE
(
mongychops, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 22:25,
archived)
sweetest m
,,, ,,,,
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. oo*" "*o.oo*" "*o.
. o" 'o" "o
o o *o
.o o 'o
o o o.
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o \o/ o
o. --0-- .o
"o /o\ o
oo o oo
oo. oo oo
'ooo. .oo. ooo
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'o oo o'
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'o o o
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o o o
o o o
always
b xx
(
broadsword w⚓, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 23:31,
archived)
I missed the deletion :'( hope there was bullying involved(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 1:24,
archived)
90% ignores, what does he expect(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 18 Jul 2015, 1:46,
archived)
alright you fucking cunt bastard spastic horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt fuckhead faggot(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 17:50,
archived)
yeah, that was a bit out of order, sorry, didn't see where the line was drawn and crossed it(
Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 19:04,
archived)
I would have thought it was obvious(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 19:22,
archived)
Haha, you guys are such jokers, I bet this thing isn't even loa(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 20:24,
archived)
worth doing, it's now 2.5% more amusing(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 20:49,
archived)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loa
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 21:28,
archived)
oh, well,that explains everything
(
Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 21:34,
archived)
you give me so much at one timeyes I do
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 21:47,
archived)
See you at the party Richter(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 20:26,
archived)
mr.h(
djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 18:22,
archived)
Is this directed at me? I mean I am a needy prick but this is just taking shit too far you cunt.
(
spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 17 Jul 2015, 23:28,
archived)
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