dog films

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:43, archived)

From Here To The Park! THE PARK! LET'S GO TO THE PARK!

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:45, archived)

mutropolis

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:45, archived)

I'm not sorry
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:45, archived)

raise the red setter

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:46, archived)

Fetch

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:51, archived)

The Bone Identity

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:01, archived)

bichon frise! or my mom will shoot

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:52, archived)

a mastiff of life and death

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:00, archived)

that's it, I've done them all

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:00, archived)

hang on, there's one more
barkira
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:10, archived)

arooo

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:54, archived)

the man who sued dog

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:12, archived)

Worky's

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:48, archived)

the fisher king charles spaniel

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:52, archived)

logged back in to add that, worth it I am sure you will agree
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:53, archived)

dirty rotten spaniels

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:54, archived)

whatever happened to baby dane

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:54, archived)

some like it scottie

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:55, archived)

shih tzu wonderful life

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:58, archived)

just imagine when everyone logs in tomorrow morning
they are going to be well jel
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:58, archived)

>well jel<

( H.B.Mupps, Mon 15 Aug 2016, 7:17, archived)

evening

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 18:48, archived)

lol blanked

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 19:18, archived)

*guffs*

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 19:36, archived)

sunday guffy sunday

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 19:51, archived)

how to dismantle an atomic guff

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 19:52, archived)

the guffier tree

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 19:52, archived)

Maybe if you didn't keep banning people you'd have someone to reply to your posts

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 20:44, archived)

this is clearly reverse psychology
you're asking to be banned, yeah?
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:20, archived)

*vigorous nodding*

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:28, archived)

i mean that must be it, right
the only other option is that he's getting all bloo-bloo about his little likebot accounts being deleted. can't be that because admitting to having them would just give further reason to ban him
curious
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:47, archived)

oh you are joking right please tell me you are joking

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:48, archived)

when it comes to 2 can
jokes are wholly unnecessary
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:50, archived)

being a moderator is the best
m.imgur.com/gI7rqCn
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:35, archived)

O_o

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:41, archived)

did you know that we all get 'cancer' all of the time most of the time?
our bodies are pretty cool at dealing with it most of the time, but not all of the time.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/7975336
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:01, archived)

Cancer is what happens when cells forget to die.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:09, archived)

Oovenong

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 20:47, archived)

disgusting

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:20, archived)

night

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 20:48, archived)

sleep well

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:24, archived)

I watched a film this afternoon all the way through

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:05, archived)

tl:dr

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:18, archived)

happy to take questions
not from artifus though
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:19, archived)

any explosions in it?

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:20, archived)

yes it had explosions
hi manolith
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:25, archived)

nice
hey vlad. good weekend?
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:43, archived)

it's been interesting, manolith
have there been any weekend highlights for you
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:46, archived)

not really, if I'm honest
i DID have a pretty nice chicken sandwich earlier though
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:49, archived)

well there are worse weekends to have

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:02, archived)

I mean for instance the chicken's was pretty rubbish

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:12, archived)

it's a fair point

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:18, archived)

how on earth did you manage such a feat? what was the film? was it any good?
oh.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:22, archived)

oh I was only KIDDING artifus <3

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:27, archived)

:)

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:28, archived)

it was
the time machine, a 2002 version I did not know existed, what can I say I was sat there, it was on, I weighed up my options; move, do not move, I just couldn't be bothered to move
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:30, archived)

and to my surprise I slightly enjoyed it, mainly the bits that reminded me of the proper 1960 version, like the hemline fashions in the window, and then at the end I think they had a picture of HG Wells on the wall in the hall of the house, and I emerged from my film stupor to croak HG Wells! It's HG Wells! Ooh look!
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:32, archived)

it also had Jeremy Irons being a camp villain, in a surprising and rare escape for him from typecasting, oh wait.
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:38, archived)

www.theguardian.com/books/2016/aug/13/hg-wells-visions-of-the-future-remain-unsurpassed
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:33, archived)

I enjoyed this link

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:04, archived)

any dogs in it?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:24, archived)

everyone was reasonable looking, you know what actors are like, they screen out the ugly ones at some stage in the process I expect

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:26, archived)

I meant like, proper dogs, not ugly people.
all the good films have a dog in it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:31, archived)

I don't recall seeing any dogs, this does compromise my overall opinion about the film as you make a good point.
What's your favourite dog in a film, windy? I think there is a dog in Mon Oncle, that's probably mine. Paul Merton made some short film or other with a dog in it didn't he, The Suicidal Dog I think. That was a good dog but no competition to M. Tati's, obvs.
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:36, archived)

obvs
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BDxqhI9qDw
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:39, archived)

I like obvs but worry that using it marks me out as a shitcunt

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:41, archived)

sorry wrong link
vimeo.com/17438937
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 23:54, archived)

well if doctor who was more like this, I would watch it

( vladimir, Mon 15 Aug 2016, 10:20, archived)

my favourite film dog is Meathead the bulldog from sudden impact.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:41, archived)

I don't know that one
but now I am thinking about dogs in film, google free, it's like thinking without a parachute. Is there a dog in I am Legend? And I am sure there's a dog in the Dambusters isn't there. I guess we should discount Dances with Wolves as probably a dog-free zone
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:48, archived)

no not dambusters, it must be in the douglas bader film he has a dog doesn't he

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:25, archived)

I like the dog in Stalker
I like Russian dogs because they're all mongrels and all look both the same and different.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:01, archived)

well I just can't BELIEVE I've forgotten about that POOR golden retriever in The Fly until now

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:13, archived)

Oh, that's a sad dog bit.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:18, archived)

waitwait doesn't marty mcfly have to feed a dog for the doc and his auto-feeders have all gone wrong
nearly googled that one, but I stopped just in time. it might be cats
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:23, archived)

golden retriever
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNB3WWkNVhM
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:49, archived)

:(

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:28, archived)

^ on an emotional rollercoaster

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:29, archived)

:/

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:32, archived)

x~{\

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:39, archived)

i'd see 2 can about that if i were you

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:49, archived)

the day I let that quack doctor anywhere near me is unlikely to ever arrive

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:03, archived)

:\

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:28, archived)

I watched the 4.5 hr cut of Until the End of the World last night.
It was great. I was worried it'd drag,but it didn't.

I did have to rewatch the last 10 minutes as I was so mashed I forgot them though.

I've also bought Paris, Texas and Wings of Desire.

Seen Paris before but not wings
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:38, archived)

are there dogs in those films?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:41, archived)

There are, i think.
But no starring roles.
If that's what you're after I'd suggest turner and hooch.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:43, archived)

i'm not too worried if they're not in starring roles,
I just like dogs.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:45, archived)

Digs are great. You've got to have steely determination to not like a dog.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:54, archived)

OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD I LOVE PARIS, TEXAS SO MUCH
I could actually have a little cry just thinking about how great that film is
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:45, archived)

i've not seen it, but if you like it this much, I'm going to make an effort to sit and watch it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:46, archived)

oh fuck now I'm anxious that you'll think it's shit and never listen to anything I say again
just test out this to check if it's going to be within your spectrum:

the bit where one character is on the phone to another character and there is a realisation of who it is that is quite mesmerising

one character trying on 'dad' outfits, another character saying 'eso!' (I believe this is spanish)

there are brilliant bits where one character doesn't say anything and doesn't explain and there is just this huge kind of silence that is louder than a oil drum falling into an empty shipping container. And that is how things that have happened in life, and life generally, is. Unexplainable, frequently empty, not bounded in nice narratives and words like "we had a lovely day in the park" or "we had a terrible day in the park" or "I lived for twenty years as a woman and now look at me," it's unsayable and unknowable and that's what everyone you know, and you, live through, and yet we want some ANSWERS, tell me about your day, what was your day like, did you have a good holiday, what did you do, why did you do that... what was it LIKE? God, how, how can anybody ever explain what something was like? Or what they did? Or why?

No explosions. Wait I'm not sure there might have been one in the back story.

Dogs: uncertain.
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:01, archived)

I've heard good things about it before, your feelings have merely pushed me to put it at the top of my films to watch list.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:05, archived)

I like this post because it could just as equally be used by an ingrate trying to say why it's shit.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:18, archived)

and I like ^ this post because it is by gormo

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:20, archived)

He's pretty good ain't he? I might click like on his post.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:22, archived)

I think I love Harry Dean Stanton a bit

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 21:53, archived)

he is brilliant

( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:05, archived)

UPDATE
www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAzzR2Uklok

I just watched and there is a dog at 1:35 \o/
( vladimir, Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:11, archived)

Excellent

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sun 14 Aug 2016, 22:21, archived)

R.I.P. Danny Baker

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 21:01, archived)

is that the one who presented 321 as a dusty bin?

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 21:28, archived)

Thanks for getting my hopes up

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 22:41, archived)

R.I.P. R2-D2

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 20:12, archived)

www.reactiongifs.com/r/r2.gif
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 20:26, archived)

Bit sad for an actor to be remembered like that

( mongychops, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 20:31, archived)

true, I was out of my witts
Kenneth Baker, thank you for you contributions!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 21:45, archived)

haven't had a drink in less then 24 hours
what haven't you had (yet)?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 16:37, archived)

A nice piece of ass!

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 17:42, archived)

I haven't had breakfast since this morning.

( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:05, archived)

I've not had any booze since last night either.
Bought a bottle of woods rum to try when doing the shop though.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:08, archived)

Pissed ram raiding, nice

( mongychops, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:41, archived)

I had my last drink yesterday at 1am ish, first drink today about 10.30am. Proper Saturday.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:20, archived)

I've not started early in ages. Shame.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:27, archived)

For shame.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 13 Aug 2016, 18:54, archived)

Good effort

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 19:17, archived)

I'm lashed mate. Might do a DJ set and watch the Olympics.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 13 Aug 2016, 19:36, archived)

Sex with a man

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 20:08, archived)

Alright

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 21:28, archived)

there

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 21:47, archived)

Candogram for mongy.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 22:31, archived)

Working on a Friday night
The young version of me would be ashamed at this
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 22:35, archived)

alright

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 23:10, archived)

Sir Bradley Squiggles eh
He can do the cycling thing well
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 23:26, archived)

I thought their shorts were a little too revealing

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 23:44, archived)

Most male Olympic sportaletes have also been entered into the crotchgrab 400 event
Specially the Chinese divers Tuesday. Not that I was looking.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 23:45, archived)

I don't get it, I went out on my bike earlier and didn't need to wear tight see through shorts
didn't fall off or anything
( broadsword w⚓, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 0:04, archived)

Our GB ping pong guy looks like a weird alien that got the limb measurements slightly too long.
He's like a stick insect human.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 13 Aug 2016, 0:00, archived)

Apparently it's officially called table tennis. Sorry. Go team GB

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Sat 13 Aug 2016, 0:01, archived)

Whiff Whaff

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 13 Aug 2016, 7:21, archived)

My rum has frozen!
Disaster...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 18:58, archived)

You spastic

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:06, archived)

Smash the bottle, lick yer rum

( broadsword w⚓, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:07, archived)

The Pioneers' less-succesful comeback

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:44, archived)

stick it in the microwave for 40 seconds on high

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:12, archived)

Take off the cap, drill a hole in the frozen liquid, insert a lolly stick.
BAM! Entire bottle of rum ice lolly.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:13, archived)

sit on it to warm it up, like a hen

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:21, archived)

Make sure it isn't stood up when you sit on it tho

( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:22, archived)

Maybe he'd like a rum bum?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:23, archived)

www.jedisparadise.com/2/index_htm_files/15543.jpg
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:47, archived)

For added authenticity smear some feathers and shit on it.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:33, archived)

You filigreed, La Tene style, gold-plated, cast-iron, copper-bottomed
spastic.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:24, archived)

Panic over.
A good shake and a stir with a skewer, and I have a delicious rum slushy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:45, archived)

Oh thanks. I'll sleep easy tonight now.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 19:59, archived)

Me, too, once the rum knocks me out!
© Your Dad
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 20:03, archived)

nice to know what your plans are for the weekend
but what are you up to now?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:19, archived)

"Working"

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:22, archived)

or a
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:59, archived)

Procrastinating
at top speed
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:23, archived)

slow down maeigh8t
you're making the rest of us look bad
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:26, archived)

I was told to slow down in an office once
because it was "stressing them out"
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:36, archived)

I find you quite calming

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:36, archived)

I'm fine in text form
I think my next-desk neighbour at work finds me stressful. We get on well, but I try to embarrass him or make him feel sick every chance I get. He's quite a bit younger than me, so I feel like it's my duty to upset it.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:39, archived)

I don't even go for a coffee if there's a colleague in the kitchen these days.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:15, archived)

I didn't think I was moving particularly quickly, I was just getting the work done

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:37, archived)

just reading about this is stressing me out

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

soz

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:13, archived)

prognosticating, more like
*shrug*
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:49, archived)

*looks at shadow*
*retreats into hole*
*winter is coming*
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:27, archived)

using a babys first tooth brush to clean some watches before i go up the pub

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:24, archived)

this is funny because watch mechanisms have teeth

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:25, archived)

they are very handy for cleaning as they are very soft and can get in to the braclet gaps really well, dirt build up causes stretch

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:27, archived)

Can't you dunk em in isopropyl alcohol? Should pull grease right off.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:02, archived)

i wouldn't, they have gaskets to keep them waterproof that could rot, and i have various bezels that wouldn't like that at all, it also leaves streaks, bit of johnsons baby shampoo and a baby toothbrush are much better and safe

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:09, archived)

I've just completed 4 hours of screen-recorded systems tests
So I think I'll have a wee and a cup of coffee.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:25, archived)

I'm also listening to the latest band by pop-prog-rock doofii Frost*
the asterisk is part of their name.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:26, archived)

You should try the band in the link I gazed to McBeef

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:30, archived)

cool, lemme just hack his account to read all his GAZzes

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:44, archived)

I've just had a poo, now I'm just waiting for 4 so I can get going.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:26, archived)

The wrist in your nan

(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:33, archived)

being cool

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:33, archived)

It's quite hot in the borough of bexley

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:44, archived)

get a fan

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

i like being hot

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

eating a small chocolate muffin
and contemplating cider
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:44, archived)

Trying to hide the fact I didn't spend my lunchtime in the pub.
On the plus side I finally finished reading In Cold Blood (the last 90 pages my e-reader reported didn't actually exist).
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:54, archived)

So, thoughts
Think that one of the peeps got a less rough right as Capote wanted to play fiddledicks with him?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:06, archived)

I suppose he was more lenient on Perry, but Perry was far more broken.
Plus there was more psych evaluations etc to suggest he was the proper mental.

Although that was almost a twist as he painted Dick as an evil planner and Perry as a mild oddball, who then actually did the killings.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:11, archived)

Haven't got round to watching
This yet, it is on the watch list at some point
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:21, archived)

Might watch it.
Got The Psychopath Test and The Secret Life of Buildings next.

Although not having them on me I started reading Cats Cradle and can already tell it's ace.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:22, archived)

Quick, we better mention guffs or something.

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:26, archived)

Vonnegut talks about wanking and guffs, we could probably link it in with that.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:29, archived)

Vonneguff

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:51, archived)

Busy busy busy...

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 17:19, archived)

Looking like I give a shit
So normal 9-5 look then. For a really boring answer, end to ending a software product. Just kill me.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:57, archived)

I checked my bank balance this month and realised I probably have enough for a deposit on a house.
Then concluded I have absolutely no desire to live or work here any more.

That's handy.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

That's the spirit
Spend it on something good, like an AK47, and make them all pay
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

Not my style.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:13, archived)

imtypingonakeyboard, now
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:50, archived)

BRICK IN YO FACE

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:52, archived)

#badboy4life

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:52, archived)

Only having a half because the mrs made me nip to the shop during my pint window :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

Grounds for divorce that m8

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:04, archived)

Looking at recipes

( Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

For what? Meth? Crack? Drugs? Meth?

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:18, archived)

This is the most pathetic bit of internet upset i've seen in a while:
www.bristolpost.co.uk/student-investigated-over-threat-to-kill-after-telling-bristol-labour-mp-to-get-in-the-sea/story-29612831-detail/story.html
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:23, archived)

lol
oh dear
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:32, archived)

Wonder what she'd say if someone told her to go to hell

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:33, archived)

almost as badly as someone telling her to go to Hull
#howthefuckishullcapitalofcultureagain
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:41, archived)

I was working with someone from Hull
the year that Hull was voted worst place to live and Portsmouth was voted second.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:43, archived)

She didn't have much of a sense of humour about it

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:46, archived)

Did she have a sense of humour about anything?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:56, archived)

Now you mention it, I'm not sure that she did
We worked in a card shop together. There wasn't much to smile about.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:58, archived)

Not even the cards about guffs?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 17:03, archived)

Least of all that

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 18:09, archived)

this is a good point, actually
'get stuffed' too
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:42, archived)

Least said about 'fuck off' the better

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 16:46, archived)

just got 2 free ice lollies delivered as part of some promotional thing uber are doing
not bad
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 18:47, archived)

Up to anything this weekend?
Im not.
Well, a bit of shopping and brunching.
Spot of cooking and wining.

Introducing 2 cats to each other for the first time too. so that should be interesting.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:53, archived)

driving to within 20km of the Latvian border for a wedding
Get this; you give cash as a gift over here. As cousins of the groom, our contribution is ~200 quid.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:54, archived)

Fuck that.
Get 'em a wooden spoon and explain that it's a traditional gift in your home country.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:57, archived)

it's not really a "gift"
it's more you paying your way for the 400+ guest 3-day party you're taking part in.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:04, archived)

3 days?
I thought all day was pushing it tbh. I prefer just getting an evening invite. All the church service and that is a waste of time.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:06, archived)

"I'm having a massive party, you must come. By the way, I need you to pay for it."
Get bent, frankly.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:50, archived)

Yes, that pretty much sums up Polish weddings in their entirety

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:16, archived)

<Strikey G> weddings

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:43, archived)

One miser I know bought a single towel of what was obviously a his & hers set off of the wedding list.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:06, archived)

perhaps he didn't think the marriage would last

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:16, archived)

It wasn't my story. He posted it twice and then I posted it and now it's been deleted.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:17, archived)

Woah, delolt

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:15, archived)

Give it to them like this
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:59, archived)

I enjoy this custom

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:19, archived)

strikey-g 'this' & 'sto'

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:58, archived)

Getting everything together for my holiday next week, no other plans really

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:54, archived)

yes

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:59, archived)

lol, i see charlton are blackmailing season ticket holders
write nice things about us on twitter or we'll withhold your season ticket lol
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:05, archived)

yep, they've back peddled a bit but the club is a f**king j*ke (just to be safe)

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:08, archived)

i've got this rum that i'm going to drink until i can't see

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:01, archived)

The mrs is away so No Mans Sky tonight
Hosting an Olympics drinking event tomorrow. Sunday will be quiet time.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:01, archived)

i might pick that up on the way home, you played it yet?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:06, archived)

I really want to play it
But I know that a day after I lay out 40 quid for it, it'll drop to half price.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:10, archived)

Give it 2 months it'll drop
And stuff will be ironed out, and everyone will stop saying "fuck that guy" and have moved on to having overblown expectations about something else.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:12, archived)

they're releasing a goty version of witcher 3 soon
might pick that up
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:34, archived)

hey yeah, i like that game
it comes highly recommended from me
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:37, archived)

they should put that on the box

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

Likewise

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

The Witcher series in general is probably the only high budget series where both critics and the public agree on it's quality
As a rule I always wait for the enhanced editions of each game though. That said my PC can barely run the Witcher 2 never mind 3
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:11, archived)

i don't have a pc so it'd be on ps4
i've never played any of the witcher games
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:13, archived)

They're great, while everyone bangs on about how Bioware RPGs (Dragon Age, Mass Effect, etc.) have great storytelling
They pale compared to the Witcher - Geralt (the guy you play as) is more rounded than any "le chosen one / holder of the mcguffin" type character you have in other RPGs, as are most of the characters (case in point - in the Witcher 1 alongside quests of intrigue and mystery there are also "quests" where you spend evenings getting drunk and generally making a fool of yourself).
The quests never seem arbitrary, everything seems to have a knock on effect and tie back into the main story really well, the combat system is original, requiring forethought and strategy rather than grinding like fuck.
The stories themselves are really good, bearing away from the typical fantasy tropes and dealing with much more mature themes and down to earth scenarios, a lot like the books in which Geralt is viewed as the fantasy equivalent of a pest controller rather than a noble hero.

I haven't even mentioned the graphics in all that - just play them, they're fantastic RPGs. Excuse me while I clean up all this fanboy gush
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:59, archived)

i enjoyed the first mass effect, stopped playing halfway through the second and never went back
never played dragon age
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:22, archived)

Spent 2 hours on it
It depends on what your expectations are, if you have bought into the hype you may be disappointed. It does feel like you go home and do a space job of grinding materials to do x and y and then fly to another planet. Do expect, collecting, don't expect intense action and story based plot.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:10, archived)

Frontier was like that
my brother played it on his Amiga while I marked the accompanying map for trade routes, based on the spreadsheet we made on our Amstrad PCW. Heady days indeed.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:45, archived)

GET LIT, DROP BEATS, FUCK BITCHES.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:01, archived)

Bit of late 90s pop-punk, eh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:05, archived)

I don't know what you're talking about.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:05, archived)

the band 'lit'
i assume
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:38, archived)

Plan who I'm seeing at the fringe next week.
Sort some personal stuff out.
Might watch the 5 hour cut of Until the End of the World.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:02, archived)

There is way too much shit on there
How the hell do you find anything good?
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:20, archived)

By searching for people I know I like?

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:22, archived)

I went to see Gary Delaney earlier in the week. Pretty good.
Next week I'm combining a Book Festival thing with a trip to see Hal Cruttenden.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:17, archived)

I'm going over tomorrow.
Seeing a satire about Boris Johnson in the afternoon and The glass menagerie in the evening.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 15:37, archived)

more shitting I imagine

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:05, archived)

Are your guts playing up?
Also, how was your holiday, I know you've been back a while but it's been a bit busy to ask you.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:07, archived)

Not as such...anti-biotics are breaking me from within
Holiday was excellent. I'd like to go back without the children one day, but it was still great. ICH BIN EIN BERLINNER.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:09, archived)

We're up off to Florence in a few weeks. Can't wait.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:15, archived)

Brill
We're thinking of going there next year. I fucking love Italy.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:22, archived)

Same here, we did Venice and Verona before and a did a short weekend in Florence.
I really got in to the italian thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:28, archived)

+see
+and the machine
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:40, archived)

/s> Fett Abdecker

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:34, archived)

i'm going on holiday you fucking prick

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:06, archived)

Anywhere ISIS might attack?
One can but hope.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:11, archived)

Shes very angry, this one.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:36, archived)

no good

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:18, archived)

You've made
This song pop into my head, which is nice.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:21, archived)

nah, this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=svJvT6ruolA
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:58, archived)

thought you already did the cat thing?
is this another one of those chutney fibs?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:35, archived)

I think it's gay slang, so he probably does it most weekends

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:37, archived)

disgusting

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

we did it wrong. You have to keep them separate at first
so thye can get used to each others smells and that.
face to face this weekend.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:00, archived)

Ooh, I get paid on Monday
Which reminds me, I need to buy a Nintendo 3DS XL and I want to pay as little as possible. If anyone has a useful, non-Kane related link, I'd be very grateful.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

And a recommendation as to which Pokemon game to get

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:40, archived)

Get an r4 card and get all the Pokémon games

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:47, archived)

Oh yeah, of course
I did that for my mum a few years ago. I'll look into that.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:52, archived)

Omega Ruby or Alpha Sapphire are the most recent ones
Or you can wait a little bit and get Sun / Moon in November
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:56, archived)

It's great they sorted out Pokemon go tracker by removing the footprints and using grass , ffs

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 13:59, archived)

:'(

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:42, archived)

have you still not got a phone yet? get a moto g 2 from argos, about 70 quid

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:50, archived)

can get mine fixed for £50 but they don't have the part until next week
i'm using a friend's phone. it's a chinese piece of shit. huawei or sutin
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:55, archived)

i only buy cheap phones as i have no regard for them and break them

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:59, archived)

looking on hotukdeals, there seem to be a lot of reported deals in tesco stores
might be worth ringing around to see if there's owt at our local place. there was one branch selling them for £44 but the most common seems to be £99 with a game or two

i'll keep searching though
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:12, archived)

I love you a bit

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:20, archived)

i love this a bit
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FheYWGQfuII
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:21, archived)

How delightfully unnecessary

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:31, archived)

innit?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:44, archived)

job search and knitting
fucking thrilling
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:05, archived)

search for a knitting job!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:20, archived)

if only!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:53, archived)

My plan for the weekend was to rewire the motorbike as it keeps blowing fuses.
But my box of connectors hasn't been delivered, so I don't know what to do.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:24, archived)

improvise

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:26, archived)

imgur.com/YfFxk9N.gif
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:31, archived)

set the whole thing on fire and push it off a cliff

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:29, archived)

It's a thought that has crossed my mind mate.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 14:30, archived)

a middle of the road 4/7 for me
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-37033905
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:48, archived)

3
Fucking PETA. They're like the ISIS of animal rights groups.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:52, archived)

i like it when they make some shit flash game to protest something
features.peta.org/super-meat-boy-parody/
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:57, archived)

christ

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:58, archived)

yeah, they do this shit a lot
www.peta.org/features/games/
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

it's like newgrounds for vegan bores

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:21, archived)

I can't be bothered doing that; I've been doing a spectacular job of ignoring the olympics to the point that I didn't even know it was on for about 3 days.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:52, archived)

I actually quite like some of the olympics
I'm not so bothered about the athletics and that sort of thing, but I like watching the stuff you don't tend to see so often. The team pursuit cycling was pretty good. And the kayaking.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:54, archived)

and the crazy darts

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:56, archived)

what we need is the crazylympics

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:00, archived)

The pommel horse should have the same springs under it as the vault mat

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:12, archived)

they do that just after the olympics, got dwarfs in it the lot

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:38, archived)

I don't care about much sport at all.
I find it grating when it becomes difficult to ignore though, I'm quite good at ignoring things I don't care about, but sometimes things seem to actively push through my mental block and that winds me up. Tennis/Murray does this and it annoys me a bit.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:01, archived)

it irks me when it infiltrates the news section of a current affairs programme instead of remaining confined to the sports bit

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:04, archived)

It irks me that people try and make excuses for Murray being a dour cunt.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:13, archived)

Scots are not known for a dour disposition,
so it's certainly newsworthy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:19, archived)

I live in Scotland. Nobody else gets special treatment for being a wank.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:36, archived)

they should've given Hamilton another half an hour

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:24, archived)

milton ncock
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:43, archived)

I've been picking it up of an evening
Rugby sevens was good, as was the velodrome stuff last night. Looking forward to the track and field events though, the fundamental point of the Olympics is to see which country can throw things the furthest/farthest(?)
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:11, archived)

also this
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:29, archived)

Flat Your score: 3/7
more than I expected
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

same
what a lot of silly news there is
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:55, archived)

Only 3 for me, not been keeping up this week, poorly wernt i

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:58, archived)

any kent quiz this week?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:17, archived)

i can't seem to find it for this week
www.kentonline.co.uk/herne-bay/news/high-street-bust-up-as-woman-100653/
( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:38, archived)

2
Worse than my divbats score.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:06, archived)

Smashed it, 6/7
Only knew the answer to one of them though
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:08, archived)

4
which puts me in the League Of Dovestone or sumsuch shit
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:14, archived)

are you still smarting from coming last in the eurodovestons?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:21, archived)

I'd completely forgotten about it
I was more hurt about getting Ukraine instead of Poland in the first place
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:54, archived)

Got the same
Moving to Finland to belt out a few classics
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:17, archived)

Check out this new
Top top pundit. Reminds me of Alan Ball
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:46, archived)

3 FOR ME
Fucking vegans
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:18, archived)

I got 2.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 12:45, archived)

I opened a new can of coffee and found out it's not as good as I'd hoped
What's sub-par in your life?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:11, archived)

b3ta

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:15, archived)

^

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:31, archived)

Baggenfrock

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:15, archived)

walked into that one

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:18, archived)

the amount of time I get to spend dahn the gym

( MONO!, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:16, archived)

My aching middle-aged body is crying out for exercise
but I just can't bring myself to buy a pair of trainers.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:20, archived)

you don't need trainers
just lift heavy stuff
( MONO!, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:21, archived)

what about leg day?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:21, archived)

Forget about it
everyone else does
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:28, archived)

I want to join a gym, not the local mafia

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:33, archived)

AKSHUALLY
the correct Mafia lingo is "eyyy fagedaboudit!"

I was actually making a humorous reference to the fact that many body builders and gym going types regularly forget "leg day," a coloquaialism referring to a gym session in which particular focus is put on exercising the leg muscles, to the point it has become a widely shared issue, or "maymay" as the younger generation call it
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:43, archived)

no-one is safe
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:50, archived)

lol want

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:03, archived)

It's fine until the day that your spindly twig legs snap under all the upper torso weight

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:06, archived)

mine?
my legs are like giant redwoods, mat8. it's a massive inconvenience, if i'm honest
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:11, archived)

Even a Gillette Mach 17 Turbo Extreme barely scratches the bark

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:12, archived)

mine?
my legs are like giant redwoods, mat8. it's a massive inconvenience, if i'm honest I AM GROOT.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:19, archived)

The round of golf with my stockbroker mates at the weekend.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:17, archived)

My attention span
But I've got Super Furry Animals tickets, which is great #bragz
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:18, archived)

bing bong

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:23, archived)

x10 better than the Manics song for the football
They've been writing a new album for ages, but a tour of Fuzzy Logic and Radiator is great.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:33, archived)

who's your friend who likes to play?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:42, archived)

Richard Kind is awesome

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:42, archived)

richard is kind of awesome

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:50, archived)

I was convinced that he'd played Bernard in Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.
I could not have been more wrong.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:50, archived)

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead Carry On Camping
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:55, archived)

I caught an episode of Educating Archie on the radio, once.
The only redeeming quality was the presence of Bernard Bresslaw.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:58, archived)

+ a st.

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:00, archived)

He's a versatile actor.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:08, archived)

why are you drinking coffee from a can, you savage?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:22, archived)

Because his shoe has holes in
Duh
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:37, archived)

oh man, i work with people who don't understand how negative numbers work

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:41, archived)

this is going to make explaining the difference between signed and unsigned 16 bit integers very difficult

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:42, archived)

Your nan signed my 16-bit integer.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:51, archived)

Show him
one of these, and explain that if you start in the middle, around K, and turn the wheel round way one way, then you end up going all the way back to the other end.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:52, archived)

that's actually a pretty good idea

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:56, archived)

it's almost like my job is to explain complex things to idiots

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:59, archived)

this only came up because someone in the company was complaining about 32767 being the maximum allowed entry for something
got any more tips on how to speak to idiots?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:10, archived)

The best way is to relate it back to the game Civilisation and how poor integer handling caused Ghandi to start flipping out and nuking everyone.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:17, archived)

think of things thick people do
and try to frame your explanation in those terms. Like teaching algebra using snooker colours (three blacks plus two browns and a pink equals?)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:33, archived)

Racist rants on Facebook?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:49, archived)

Oh boy, is it ever!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:53, archived)

make b3ta great again

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:57, archived)

Not my golf handicap...oh hahahahaha

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:26, archived)

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:32, archived)

I don't even play golf

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:39, archived)

not even the crazy kind?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:50, archived)

There aren't enough crazy versions of games
I'd like to play Crazy Darts
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:54, archived)

crazy pool would work
a massive table with different obstacles

crazy bowling?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:01, archived)

Crazy Formula 1

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:32, archived)

everything ma8te

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:34, archived)

Nothing. I'm pretty happy to be honest.
Apart from my penis being too big
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:51, archived)

^ Beadle hand

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:53, archived)

My credit rating
I got one of those Tassimo things, it's okay
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:53, archived)

Can't decide whether to invest 100 quid in more Lego
with the aim of increasing how much cash Youtube pays me each month.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:54, archived)

Invest in a woman with massive breasts to read the scripts you've written while jumping on a trampoline. Instant win.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:01, archived)

if he had any integrity, he'd get breast enhancements himself

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:04, archived)

Does 2can do plastic surgery?
Maybe he could bodge it up.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:07, archived)

Old barmaid from my local just got her norks done the other week.
It was pretty grim watching middle-aged men complement her. I'm not sure which was more creepy, the ones trying not to be creepy or the ones who didn't care that they were.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:10, archived)

Is there a non-creepy way of complimenting a woman on her boobs?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:21, archived)

a quick, gentle squeeze and a simple "nice" should suffice

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:26, archived)

Probably not.
But when they're pointing out how they've just had surgery for them, and sort of fishing for compliments I guess you just have to say 'oh yes, very nice' and not draw attention to them again i guess.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:28, archived)

Or grab them and shout "They feel pretty real to me!! WAHEY!"

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:37, archived)

One old bloke only half-jokingly asked for a feel.
Then we had to explain to the barmaid that no is a complete sentence and 'because they're still sore' was not required.
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:38, archived)

blokes are great, aren't they

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:46, archived)

wahey the lads and all that.
To be fair I think she may have been enjoying the attention.

Her only aspiration (by her own admission) in life was to be a wag. Her role models are people like Jordan. She didn't need the op really, but it's a status symbol almost in those circles isn't it?
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:51, archived)

I suppose so

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:53, archived)

"You wanna be careful love
The last person who strapped something that big to their chest blew themselves up"
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:43, archived)

^in poor taste

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:48, archived)

The wife's tits are still huge at the moment, and she's voiced at least one video
no trampoline though
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 11:40, archived)

Everything

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:58, archived)

morning

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 6:48, archived)

It's Friday G. Shit be cash.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:07, archived)

Yeah but I can't get smashed because I have a long drive tomorrow
but you do you fam, as the kids say
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:11, archived)

Don't come to me with problems, come to me with solutions, If you started drinking now, you could be nicely plastered and fully recovered by tomorrow morning.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:59, archived)

My solution is just to get nicely toasted tomorrow m8
family wedding, free drinks, and the wife and in-laws are all designated drivers so the baby and I can sit in the back seat and drool all over eachother.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:02, archived)

^going on a list

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:03, archived)

Santa Is Pedo
:'((((((
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:38, archived)

Morning grrrmachine

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:09, archived)

alright spanisfly
where've you been?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:11, archived)

Oh yeah, fuckin' Friday

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:11, archived)

UP THE ARSE WITH A HOSE PIPE

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:12, archived)

Nice
Got into work and some cunts had the GALL, the fucking AUDACITY even, to send me actual work that needs doing. Do they not realize my job is maintaining a poker face while sitting on beethreeter all day? Pricks
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:02, archived)

just doing a poo
will keep you informed x
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:25, archived)

Bristol scale?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:29, archived)

a healthy 3, i reckon

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:49, archived)

I've opted to take my morning shit at home, rather than waiting until I get to work.
Not getting paid to shit can be my contribution to helping save the NHS. Jeremy Hunt had better send me a letter of commendation for this selfless act.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:01, archived)

You are the true hero here

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:55, archived)

did you fall in?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:23, archived)

nah, i'm in work now
system's down though, so might've lost all my work lol
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:50, archived)

lol oh well

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:59, archived)

mrrrning, Gormachine

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:56, archived)

reading this in Phil Harding's voice
Mawning monsturr moonch
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:03, archived)

Dunno who that is, so I googled.
I expect mcbeef will get upset, shortly.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:49, archived)

Happy Russian Air Force Day!

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:28, archived)

I'm so excited I'm gonna Tupolev my chair!
(topple off)
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:31, archived)

please do not disrespect this holiday

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:34, archived)

Mackem Day, too, apparently.
I suspect they may have just made that one up, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:53, archived)

Yes, it is the day where they have their annual bath and wear their good tshirt which is an iron of of whoever is going to steer them to 17th

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:02, archived)

I thought it was just a shrill version of the Geordie accent,
not a complete way of life?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:04, archived)

The evidence
Exhibit A.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:08, archived)

"Stadium Of Light"?
It's a religion, then?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:31, archived)

exhibit b
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:31, archived)

exhibit c
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:35, archived)

THE PUN! IT BUUUURRRNNNSSS!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:02, archived)

word

( MONO!, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:36, archived)

excel

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:46, archived)

no
word up
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:00, archived)

one note

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:04, archived)

three cheers for the shittest-software-ever-created thread!

( MONO!, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:11, archived)

I dunno, its pretty good at extracting text from a picture
Well alright at it.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:18, archived)

Your nan extracted spunk from my cock last christmas, m8
and I made one note of it
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:19, archived)

did you put the note in your scrapbook?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:32, archived)

I bought WinRaR once
there, I said it
( H.B.Mupps, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:09, archived)

Dobry wieczór

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:43, archived)

it's not evening, you prick

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:47, archived)

I'm turning Japanese

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:07, archived)

m

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:52, archived)

he'?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:54, archived)

Ahoy hoy
Someone is eating a breakfast with a weird smell. Work breakfast eaters are the WORST.
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 8:56, archived)

If I ran a company
I'd ban that shit straight away. Get up earlier and make breakfast.
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:04, archived)

or eat it in the canteen, really

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:06, archived)

no eating full stop
no secretions either
( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:07, archived)

urgh

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:22, archived)

I pay you enough to own a kitchen at home
USE IT!
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:09, archived)

oh boy

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:05, archived)

who have you jumped into this time?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:06, archived)

Disgusting

( mongychops, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:09, archived)

Buddy Holly

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:20, archived)

Erry day

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:21, archived)

No? Nobody?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:39, archived)

maybe, baby

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:44, archived)

also, you made me think of this
youtu.be/5Us1ASENPws
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:44, archived)

yeah, it is
big whoop, wanna fight about it?
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:13, archived)

We are lovers not fighters
So pucker up buttercup
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:17, archived)

are we? i thought we were just pricks

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:29, archived)

All we are is pricks in the wind, dude

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:30, archived)

pricks. wind. dude.

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:35, archived)

^ziggy piggy

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:36, archived)

*melvins*

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:42, archived)

touching the bottom

( $$ ✅, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:52, archived)

Wow, it's as if Mick & Keith jammed with the Beatles
www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/peter-kay-surprises-fans-joins-8613942
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 9:57, archived)

kay just looks like a slightly inflated manford anyway

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:00, archived)

true enough

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 10:00, archived)

hey, reddit is down
what do now?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 23:50, archived)

shit! is radio 4 still broadcasting? where's trident?

( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 23:55, archived)

Oh god. T-Mays letters of last resort. Can you imagine.
Probably just says 'avenge me'
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:04, archived)

it's just a nude pic of her

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:06, archived)

One last, unenthusiastic wank for the crew in the six minutes before instant death rains down from the sky

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:12, archived)

i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3bce2f2901469cf0cc8afab4b0bc0101eb0273b8/0_0_4865_3351/master/4865.jpg?w=940&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=380332c2ccea71f1fb8c1e89c2d5d2ee
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:19, archived)

hey that reminds me
apparently the actress who played the 50ft woman in attack of the 50ft woman fillum was found dead and mummified in her apartment aged 80 odd years old. read it in fortean times.
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:24, archived)

Surprised they haven't made "attack of the 50 foot mummy" yet

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 7:09, archived)

Has there ever been a good satirical cartoon in a paper? I've never seen one.

( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:26, archived)

2026 looks mint
youtu.be/5LNHYz89sNc
( Slippery Mick &#8207;, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:34, archived)

+hemp knight

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 12 Aug 2016, 0:08, archived)

Hi Guy's, this is unfortunately not Richard mcbeef, Teh Flebmaster. I just wanted to let you know that he'll be back soon!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:59, archived)

Is he busy noshing you off?

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 17:03, archived)

fiver boss

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 17:08, archived)

ohg

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 17:05, archived)

talk about ultimate lol death, right
(henceforth designated ULD)
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 17:58, archived)

Good tag team name

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:57, archived)

yes!

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 19:56, archived)

don't care

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 17:13, archived)

hi
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:23, archived)

high

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:29, archived)

higher

( mongychops, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:31, archived)

i.imgur.com/qeapsOq.gifv
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:40, archived)

The goodies warned us this would happen

( mongychops, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 18:54, archived)

Hello

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 22:05, archived)

yeah
i.imgur.com/jZF8Ffl.gifv
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 22:21, archived)

what a charming username that person has

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 22:40, archived)

i.imgur.com/NcvfuQ4.gif
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 22:58, archived)

i.imgur.com/fQx9Smk.gifv
( artifus is doing it all wrong, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 23:03, archived)

hi

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:52, archived)

-de-hi
EVERYBODY
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:54, archived)

surely not everybody?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

EVERYBODY
Except Russell Kane
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

Except Even
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

even especially
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:08, archived)

OH IS THAT HOW IT IS!?
*flounces*
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:55, archived)

^muppset

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:57, archived)

Always

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

neva change xxx

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:17, archived)

&#305;&#613;

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

woah

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:58, archived)

alright q-bert

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 15:59, archived)

hello
tonight I'm pretending to be a German named Tim
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

Hallo Tim!

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:02, archived)

That sounds like some boring bedroom roleplay m8

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:02, archived)

Ach, Fraulein, zose nylon tights really hide von schnellulite von dos legs

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:19, archived)

^berlinner

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

I am shitting about 8 times a fucking day at the moment
And the consistency is not good, I won't lie
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:00, archived)

what's your favourite consistency?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

Butterscotch Angel Delight

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:02, archived)

Medium firm

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:02, archived)

NSFW
i.imgur.com/uEemViE.gif
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

depends where you work

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:07, archived)

I'll post you some

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:09, archived)

thx hun

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:10, archived)

nice
my brother had that for 2 weeks. Doctors did fuck all and told him to come back if there was blood.
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:03, archived)

Pah, doctors
What do they know?
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:04, archived)

#fulldisclosure
i'm on the throne right now
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:04, archived)

I'm rigid

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:04, archived)

and turgid

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

TURDgid, more like

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:05, archived)

well yeah

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:07, archived)

on reflection I think I preferred being on holiday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:01, archived)

you fucking weirdo

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:04, archived)

Alright

( mongychops, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:13, archived)

busy day, m?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:19, archived)

Nope, done nothing, gonna go out now

( mongychops, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:42, archived)

crystal league yo

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:20, archived)

Never been in it, well done

( mongychops, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:43, archived)

hi
and bye
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:21, archived)

hye

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:28, archived)

bi, more like

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:29, archived)

off for a poo
bye
( MONO!, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 16:29, archived)

AWLROIT MOI LUVVERZZ??!?!!?!?!
Mr. Tea, live from FUCKING DEVON for beethreeta dot com slash talk.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:21, archived)

Pahp acrahs tuh zummerzet boy, an pickuz up zumma that zoider

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:24, archived)

I actually stocked the car with 24 litres of Weston's Scrumpy before I left Oxford.
They only have it in Lidl now and then, so it's worth buying a decent amount when it's there.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:35, archived)

That stuff's lovely
but my fuck does it get you something drunk
( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:01, archived)

Stir it up
Suggest the cream goes under the jam or whatever
( fuscous, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:24, archived)

Here's one for you
Cream and The Jam were booked to play at a rock festival in the west country. Riots broke out when they couldn't agree on who went on first. There.
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:31, archived)

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:33, archived)

True story

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

9/11 was an inside job

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:38, archived)

Jet fuel can't melt real creams

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:33, archived)

Paul Weller didn't approve of this joke
but Eric Clapton.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:42, archived)

noice

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:48, archived)

how are you finding Exeter?

( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:25, archived)

on Google Maps!
lol
( $$ ✅, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:25, archived)

Turn left at Bristol!
jajajajaja
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:32, archived)

Quite nice so far.
Your money goes a damn sight further here than it does in London or Oxford, by crikey.
( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:34, archived)

Do they not have pound shops in that London?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:05, archived)

Things to do in Devon when you're dead

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:27, archived)

Devon a hot tin roof

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:28, archived)

And she's buying a stairway to Devon

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:32, archived)

This monkey's gone to Devon.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:34, archived)

Knock knock knockin' on Devon's door

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:59, archived)

And Devon knows you're miserable now

( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:32, archived)

www.teamknightrider.com/classic/episodes/season3/disgrace/disgrace14c.jpg
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:39, archived)

it's no 'live from the lake' is it?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:50, archived)

'Streamed from a Stream'?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:56, archived)

'shared from the shore'

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:11, archived)

'broadcast from the brook'

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:18, archived)

I've just had an email from ITP Group saying that there's been suspicious activity on my bank account
and it'll be frozen unless I download their software! I'm just glad they contacted me in time!
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 13:58, archived)

omg luckyyyyyyyy

( H.B.Mupps, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:00, archived)

nick of time, m8

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:18, archived)

If you see my parents say hi to them for me

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:06, archived)

"We thought he was dead"
"Well, hoped."
( keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 11 Aug 2016, 14:08, archived)