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Merry Christmas, all of you
Even spanishfly, the fucking twatbag.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 19:41, archived)

Evening Mr H
How are you coping with Storm Barbara?
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 19:48, archived)

I entered Barbara as soon as I left work
And now I am much further north, she seems to have blown off.
(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:14, archived)

horbs

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:30, archived)

Frank

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:41, archived)

It's SS you fucking prick

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:45, archived)

horbo

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:35, archived)

Grrry Christmas

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:41, archived)

Fuck a horse

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:45, archived)

I just got home and went to have a shit and realised I'd been wearing TWO BELTS all day! Imagine that!

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 20:45, archived)

lip up, fatty

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manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:09, archived)

Can I be a mod for Christmas

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:11, archived)

A mod's not just for christmas

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:35, archived)

Joined end to end cos one ain't enough
and I bet he has the cheek to lecture other people on their lifestyles
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 22:42, archived)

I can't

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:09, archived)

I have a laptop you can have if you want as a Christmas present?

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:45, archived)

happy christmas horbie goes bananas

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:10, archived)

Prick

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:45, archived)

Merry Christmas mr horriblawrence

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 21:55, archived)

Cunt

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:45, archived)

Thanks

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:08, archived)

Merry Christmas mr h and all

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:30, archived)

Wanker

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spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:46, archived)

Hey Fuck you you fucking cunt
Only joking I love you all immensely.

Apart from Two Hats the gay lesbian
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:44, archived)

Chrimbolopopolopop

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:46, archived)

Alright Saville

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 23:52, archived)

so is this place going to be utterly deserted until the new year?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:28, archived)

get

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:28, archived)

I'll be here

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:30, archived)

you attacking this war? I'm holding off until you've had a go

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:40, archived)

Ain't had a look yet, tough one ?

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:43, archived)

well tough, you'll be lucky to get a star off 10

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:53, archived)

You'll be here, no doubt
trying to escape the extended family
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:30, archived)

I drive up to see them tomorrow
and drive back the next day. Aiming for a 24hr turnaround.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:41, archived)

moreso than it is already?
howdy folks, just getting on the stats board for the new year, feel free to go about your business
(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:35, archived)

you just want to say "I was there", you fucking poser

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:42, archived)

I'm just a fucking casual :(

(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:42, archived)

dunno

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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:38, archived)

fat lot of good you are

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:42, archived)

Well since my laptop is still broken and Dell reckon I would have to pay them 900 quid to put a new motherboard in I won't be around.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:39, archived)

use a mobile device

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:42, archived)

^^^^

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:14, archived)

No because trying to do strikethroughs is too frustrating

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:32, archived)

oh no what a shame
all that technology in your house but no actual computer to visit a text-based website designed in 2004
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:43, archived)

Well, seeing as it's christmas you guys could always have a whip-round and buy me a new one.

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:30, archived)

no, christmas is about buying presents for your nearest and dearest

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:36, archived)

you fucking stupid fucking cunt

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:56, archived)

Yeah merry christmas to you too m8

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:32, archived)

x

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:36, archived)

it's a christmas miracle

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 16:05, archived)

I'm going to be live blogging my entire Christmas starting tomorrow morning from 7am through til new years day

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:50, archived)

oh right
you're on your own then
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:53, archived)

no such luck :(

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:54, archived)

*subscribes*

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:55, archived)

Does that include going for number two's?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:59, archived)

I wouldn't bother
I tried live blogging The Snowman one year and broke the fucking board
(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:04, archived)

here
b3ta.com/talk/7608491
(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:14, archived)

I'll pop in with some dull anecdotes about YM

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:14, archived)

I'll look forward to that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:15, archived)

might go and wank into a cocked hat

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:21, archived)

might join you

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:26, archived)

I don't plan on visiting.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 14:30, archived)

My soup defrosted and the condensation leaked all in the works on-call phone

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:24, archived)

oh

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:26, archived)

I'll probably divert it and replace it without having to cough up to being a moron.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:40, archived)

good "call"
haha puns
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:44, archived)

good idea
that'll keep you out of hot water!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 15:50, archived)

Hahahaha
Merry Christmas everyone x
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:12, archived)

hahaha you too mate!
x
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:14, archived)

cheers pal
And I mean that sincerley
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:15, archived)

Hahaha, merry christmas

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:16, archived)

Hope you and the missus have a good one
Well, I hope the missus has a good one. You deserve everything you get, you dirty stop-out.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:19, archived)

I need to go back to bed.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:20, archived)

That won't help
You're better off powering through.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:22, archived)

I have no power.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:27, archived)

Then vaya con dios

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:30, archived)

~~dirty stop-out~~ crazy radical
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:21, archived)

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:18, archived)

Snow is falling, all around us, children playing, having fun
'Tis the season for love and understanding. Merry Christmas, Grrrmachine.

Enjoy your baby's first christmas x
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:20, archived)

Its first christmas will be sitting on my lap at its great-grandmother's house
looking at a table of herring and carp while I whisper "it won't always be like this, I'll make life better for you, I promise"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:32, archived)

nevertheless

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:33, archived)

Sickos

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:39, archived)

~~carp~~ lee dvds
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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:36, archived)

Um Bongo for all!

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:19, archived)

Um Bongo Nog!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:20, archived)

Was that some kind of slur?

(

Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:22, archived)

Good lord
Like Eggnog, but made with Um Bongo. Come on, m8.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:23, archived)

awww fanx mistah!

(

sock more tea vicar?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:20, archived)

Lol delete.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:21, archived)

yeah :( the zalgo thingy doesn't work anymore

(

sock more tea vicar?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:23, archived)

CHRISTMAS STOCKING

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:21, archived)

father christmas is going to empty his sack into it
after coming down my chimney

/topical
(

sock more tea vicar?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:23, archived)

Yes, I dare say he is

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:25, archived)

If I knew there wasn't 30,000 people in my local supermarket
I'd pop out and get some stollen
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:26, archived)

What kind of sado-masochist goes shopping the day before christmas eve?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:31, archived)

I might some veg early tomorrow
the rest is done. I ain't going back for shit
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:32, archived)

get

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:33, archived)

sado-masochists?

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:33, archived)

sado-masochists
Actually, I don't think the hyphen is necessary. Nevertheless, my point stands.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:34, archived)

Me!
Actually, Im doing mine ON Christmas Eve
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:40, archived)

Yeah, but you're gay
It's par for the course, isn't it?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:41, archived)

I ordered my wife's present a month ago
and the courier still hasn't delivered it. So I can understand going out tonight to buy presents rather than explain why there's nothing under the tree.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:44, archived)

And you've left it until now to start thinking about it?
You should be ashamed of yourself
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:47, archived)

why?
I've got the tracking number, I can see where the package is, they just don't have any time to bring it from their sorting office to my front door, the cunts. Don't see why I should buy a second load of gifts "just in case"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:51, archived)

She's lucky to have you, in many ways

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:56, archived)

I've neglected to buy whatever ingredients I may have needed for nog making.
Oh, well.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:44, archived)

I love nots

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:47, archived)

NO FOOTBALL CHAT.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:48, archived)

I think the edit function should be disabled for MoMu

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:48, archived)

seconded

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:49, archived)

I think I should get a prize for bringing so much joy to you all.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:02, archived)

Are we led off the road still makes me officelol for some odd reason

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:04, archived)

Bit bent

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:26, archived)

I agree

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:30, archived)

Also, you were right to keep Spanishfly on ignore
I took him off to wish him a merry christmas. He called me a fucking cunt and put me on ignore. That's the sort of person he is.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:36, archived)

Well you tried

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:55, archived)

I can't do more than that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:56, archived)

Not in the spirit of good will to all men.
I'm starting to suspect he may not be a good, honest Christian.
(

Kroney, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:12, archived)

figgy figgy figgy pudding

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:27, archived)

Rip giggly wiggly :'(

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:28, archived)

:(

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:31, archived)

:(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:31, archived)

good fucking riddance

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:37, archived)

^
I doubt he ever really left, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:47, archived)

Almost TDFU for the year time! :D
I've done fuck all this morning
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:07, archived)

Everyone at the office was saying about how we normally knock off at 12 on christmas eve
None of them mentioned how it's not actually christmas eve today
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:08, archived)

spastics

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:10, archived)

My hopes aren't high, I'll be honest

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:35, archived)

idioths

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:11, archived)

I'm done
fuck them and their fucking system
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:11, archived)

Ho ho ho

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:10, archived)

yo yo yo

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:11, archived)

god bless us, every one!

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:18, archived)

oooga boooga

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:34, archived)

I'm home now, they let us go.
I walked back because my bicycle has a flat tire. About half way back i needed an urgent poo. I have made it home in time, luckily, but I was eyeing up spots for a good mcbeef.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:38, archived)

I'm proud of you

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:38, archived)

Thanks man.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:39, archived)

nice

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:39, archived)

I've been on the loo about 10 minutes, I'm not sure it's ever going to stop.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:39, archived)

Oh, it'll stop
and when it does, it'll be GLORIOUS
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:41, archived)

Oh, fuck it. I've just remembered I gave the cab driver a tenner for a 4 quid journey and told him to keep the change and merry Christmas.
Why is drunk me such a wanker.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:40, archived)

foolish, that's what it is

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:42, archived)

Well, I hope he spends wisely. Maybe put it towards a shovel so he can bury his daughter after she sleeps with a white man.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:46, archived)

well ok then

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:48, archived)

I'm terrible for over tipping when drunk, my mate Kelly still chastises me for tipping a waitress 50 quid in a harvester lol

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 12:59, archived)

Imagine if you had cycled home
and then mcbeefed while riding and it all trickled down the seat onto the back wheel and sprayed poo all over the road and up your back like Sonic the Hedgehog running through mud.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:15, archived)

www.imdb.com/list/ls031458942?ref_=tt_rls_3
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 13:28, archived)

You miserable cunts

(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:59, archived)

gay get

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:00, archived)

I'm full of cheer and joviality, and not just because of the time of year

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:01, archived)

starting a second thread?
HUGE faux pas there m8
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:01, archived)

Happy Hannukah
Or Channukah, if you prefer
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:02, archived)

מָעוֹז צוּר יְשׁוּעָתִי, לְךָ נָאֶה לְשַׁבֵּחַ
תִּכּוֹן בֵּית תְּפִלָּתִי, וְשָׁם תּוֹדָה נְזַבֵּחַ.
לְעֵת תָּכִין מַטְבֵּחַ מִצָּר הַמְנַבֵּחַ.
אָז אֶגְמוֹר בְּשִׁיר מִזְמוֹר חֲנֻכַּת הַמִּזְבֵּחַ.
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:06, archived)

Couldn't have put it better myself

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:06, archived)

Yeah, well, I'm tooling down and fucking off now, so tharr.
MARY CHRISTMAS
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:03, archived)

fancy joining me for kwanzaa?

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:06, archived)

I'd like that
what's the traditional kwanzaa meal?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:08, archived)

Cajun catfish, jerk chicken, and groundnut stew, apprently

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:09, archived)

I'll get some Um Bongo and we'll meet round mine at 7pm

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:12, archived)

sounds alright

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:29, archived)

Merry Christmas to you too.
I really don't understand why we're at work today.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:12, archived)

I'm radically alerting the finances of the local NHS commissioning body.
That's why I'm here.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:18, archived)

So how useless is today hey?
I think there is a lot to be said about meat paste.

What kind of paste do you think there is a lot to be said about?
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:52, archived)

have you noticed how the "a" sounds completely different in "paste", "past" and "pasta"?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:57, archived)

It only sounds different in "past" and "pasta" if you're south of the Watford Gap.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:05, archived)

^
See also: "graph", " bath", and all the many other words that northern Britons will mock southerners over their pronunciation of.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:48, archived)

I masturbated into a plastic bag

(

fuscous, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:27, archived)

I don't say "past" and "pasta" any differently
Do you say "pasta" like "paahsta" or saink?
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:06, archived)

That's an American thing, isn't it?
Saying 'paahsta' as if you're the spiritual heir of Lloyd Grossman or something.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:08, archived)

nah ma8e
but "paahst", innit. I also had a friend who went to maahss at church cos he was religious AND posh.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:17, archived)

It's like that joke from Miss Manners.
When is a 'vase' a 'vaahse'? When it's filled with daahsies.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:22, archived)

Its past as in pastie
Northern innit
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:27, archived)

Except when yanks use "pastie" to refer to nipple covers for stripers,
when it's pronounced as in "paste".
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:50, archived)

Yeah but what do Yanks know?

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:59, archived)

Fuck all, that's what.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:16, archived)

crikey. leaving it a bit late to sneak in your entry for the 'dullest observation awards 2016'

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:10, archived)

it was the most interesting thing I could think of that involved the word "paste"
Feel free to one-up me on that topic.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:15, archived)

broadsword already did

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:38, archived)

Would you put meat paste and pâté in the same category?

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:07, archived)

~~category~~ sandwich
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:11, archived)

fuck

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:12, archived)

not sure

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:07, archived)

merry christmas

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:12, archived)

Ok putting you on ignore now
Go fuck yourself cunt
(

spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:33, archived)

haha

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:39, archived)

I like sandwich spread. Is that a paste?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:13, archived)

God, I hated that as a kid

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:13, archived)

I really like it with a bit of Branston pickle

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:16, archived)

pervert

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:17, archived)

I feel really unwell twohats

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:27, archived)

oh, my dear boy
Did you over-indulge last night?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:33, archived)

Yes.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:54, archived)

is that the stuff that looks like sick?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:15, archived)

Tastes like it too

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:16, archived)

^

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:16, archived)

Polish Christmas "salad"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:16, archived)

Really?
I thought it was this
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:29, archived)

boik

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:36, archived)

damn right
peas from a can in there too :(
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:43, archived)

Looks like a chunky coleslaw.
What is it?
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:52, archived)

apple, eggs, canned peas, pickled cucumber, potato and celery, drowned in mayonaise

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:55, archived)

When I was a kid I unintentionally made myself puke by eating sandwich spread sandwiches and a yoghurt at the same meal.
Apparently acidic condiments and dairy products don't mix.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:18, archived)

Dunno, I'm about to create bum paste if that helps

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:18, archived)

I had a massive chilli yesterday
and today when I wiped my bum it looked like I got arseraped by the terracotta army
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:21, archived)

Come on m8, we know what the fucking terracotta army is

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:22, archived)

and you're in the pannacotta army, you chubby cunt

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:23, archived)

BOSH!

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:25, archived)

good one

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:26, archived)

we're all divs, here
/ac
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:39, archived)

braw! have chips with that

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:23, archived)

w/y/h

(

broadsword w⚓, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:25, archived)

I am Joseph Bazalgette AMA!

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:29, archived)

~~Joseph~~ a French
~~zal~~
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:34, archived)

bot get

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:49, archived)

I'm well glad I took him off ignore

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:50, archived)

His only reply in this thread was to me x
I feel quite special
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:51, archived)

blessed are you the child that is praised on a day of God's doing

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:52, archived)

you said a mouthful, m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:52, archived)

lol spuck

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:54, archived)

lol I mean spunk lol

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:54, archived)

haha lol haha

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:54, archived)

You are special.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:52, archived)

I know, m8
I know
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:53, archived)

You've upset him.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:55, archived)

I can't do right for doing wrong, can I
He's upset when I put him on ignore, now he's upset because I wished him a merry christmas.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:58, archived)

I think he wants to touch your willy

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:00, archived)

I don't blame him
It's very tactile
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 11:02, archived)

Everyone is beautiful, in their own way
What else is everyone in their own way?

Merry Christmas
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:39, archived)

alright james blunt

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:40, archived)

alright

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:41, archived)

and i'd have to say that everyone is... panic-buying pigs in blankets?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:45, archived)

Me included

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:59, archived)

shit I forgot!

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:09, archived)

I have bacon and sausages
but like fuck do I have time to wrap bacon around sausages
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:10, archived)

GS

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:10, archived)

a friend of mine is obsessed with these things that are basically the same as pigs in blankets, but with cheese instead of sausage
the only place that sells them is m&s and i've seen him buy 8 packs in the past week
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:12, archived)

he needs support

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:23, archived)

Cheese wrapped in bacon?
Is he on a ketogenic diet or just a fat bastard?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:28, archived)

they are delicious, to be fair

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:35, archived)

racist i'd imagine
i'm really tolerant apart from gypos

merry christmas
(

sock more tea vicar?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:41, archived)

I thought dressing their children up as prostitute clowns and destroying land that doesn't belong to them was part of their ancient traditions?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:44, archived)

you're thinking of juggalos, mat8

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:45, archived)

Oh yeah
My Big Fat Juggalo Wedding
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:58, archived)

ha!
they certainly are a unique* race of people

*thieving pet eating plum selling pricks
(

sock more tea vicar?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:53, archived)

I thought everyone was baldmonkey?

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:45, archived)

^has catlegs

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:45, archived)

Most people are

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:00, archived)

Weird
That thing you think is normal? It isn't.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:49, archived)

Nothing's normal, m8
There is no standard.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:59, archived)

Except ratchet sets

(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:03, archived)

et kank
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:13, archived)

haha, ratchet skanks?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:17, archived)

i think it's a term popularised by miley cyrus

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:36, archived)

Xtina Slaguilera

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:57, archived)

I would let her destroy me

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:00, archived)

she'd probably do it by giving you some sort of disease
speaking of diseases. spanishfly posted a thread, btw so this one might go a bit quiet
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:09, archived)

k

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:11, archived)

Ban him

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:27, archived)

touching

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 10:07, archived)

morning
FRIDAY, BITCHES!
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 6:58, archived)

Alright.
Snowy Christmas in Poland? We're getting the traditional rain and double figure temperatures. Might as well be in the Caribbean.
(

Kroney, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:00, archived)

Poland's weird in that it has six seasons
So we had the traditional White November, then grey and damp December, and then it'll prolly hit -20 in February.

Snowy today, but it's barely more than frost tbh.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:02, archived)

Hm.
Should have let Germany keep it. They know how to do a snowy winter.

Edit: or Russia, for that matter. I think Putin's probably still interested; I'll have my people call his people.
(

Kroney, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:09, archived)

He's off the radar, been on the bing ever since he won the Nobel prize

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:16, archived)

Urgh

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:04, archived)

you can do better than that, put some heart into it

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:27, archived)

I'm at McDonald's for a bit of breakfast.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:28, archived)

tried to google which ones are open on the 25th, google just shows "holiday hours"
whatever the fuck that means.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:54, archived)

Every one is different.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:00, archived)

Here I stand; I can do no other

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:12, archived)

so I stuff my gland into your mother

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:28, archived)

one after another

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:28, archived)

Morning
Have to go into work for less than 4 hours today, fucking pointless
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:17, archived)

they said the same to me
I told them I'm not going to bother. I'm going to 'work from home.'
(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:17, archived)

Wish I could get that setup, but my bosses refuse to embrace technology

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:25, archived)

I was talking to ladypig about this,
Considering you can monitor inboxes and most jobs have clear performance metrics, as well as the fact most big companies are international, I don't get the be in the office from 9 to 5 thing.
If you're providing a service ad have posted hours for customer contact that's fair enough, but otherwise it seems archaic.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:37, archived)

I do 8-4, it's clearly set up in my publically visible work calendar, and hasn't changed in two years
and people still try emailing to me at half 5 asking why I'm not responding to chat messages.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:20, archived)

Punch them

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:31, archived)

they're in completely separate countries
I don't let it get to me. I'm not taking on the pressure of some other dickhead who's left his work until the last minute.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:34, archived)

Agreed, especially considering my job doesn't involve talking to people
Everything my job entails can be done through email and remote access.

And now I've got into work the entire system is down, so we can't do anything anyway :D
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:40, archived)

With you 100% on this one.
I'm approximately 6.73 times more productive at home than I am in the office, and it would currently save me two hours' commuting every day. I'd still like to keep the option of going into the office when I wanted to, like today, when my other half and mother-in-law are going to spend the entire day pottering around the house and being loud.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:52, archived)

pretty sure pointless is only half an hour m8
I can't stand a minute longer of that smug speccy twat
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:28, archived)

See I don't mind him, it's Alexander Armstrong who boils my piss
The man has all the wit and charm of a brick
(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:30, archived)

Yet both are a billion times better than Bradley Walsh
And that wipe clean surface that hosts Tipping Point.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:19, archived)

same
i'm just going to put a sign on the office door and go play with the htc vive in the game design department though
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:59, archived)

Strikey-g my penus

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:19, archived)

there are better places to do that
could watch some vr porn i s'pose
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:25, archived)

and worse, m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:41, archived)

also, ur penis looks like it's already been strikey'd-g

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:26, archived)

B==<s>==D

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:42, archived)

Bellend?
I won!
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:00, archived)

Hooray!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:23, archived)

I'm in until 1.
Unless there's some major disaster I am not leaving the workshop
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:03, archived)

Our boss whos in today has been instructed to let us go at 11 by another boss
And if that doesn't happen, the bossiest woman in the office has been given permission to go in and give him what for.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:21, archived)

two more sleeps until Santa!!!

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:17, archived)

I am going to beat you to death with my yule log in your sleep

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:29, archived)

GS

(

H.B.Mupps, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:30, archived)

I hope so

(Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Sr., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:31, archived)

dunno wot that means soz

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:45, archived)

I'll take your word for it

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:45, archived)

I wouldn't mug you off over something like this

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:51, archived)

Good, I've got a lot to do today

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 7:55, archived)

anything interesting, or just your usual shit?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:23, archived)

just shopping and drinking

(

mongychops, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:57, archived)

Pre-Christmas Friday brightly shining Morgenstern
Looking like a half-day on the cards today, or not much more than that at worst.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:16, archived)

look, it's the 23rd, there's nothing special about today, you've got all weekend for your Xmas bullshit
can we just cherish this one last day of sanity before everyone devolves into dribbling consumerist plebs?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:21, archived)

I'm getting my festive cheer in early, since I'm likely to be afk all weekend.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:27, archived)

compliments of the season to you and your family

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:24, archived)

yeah, gravy and brandy butter to you and yours too

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:26, archived)

what, like some sort of nightmarish festive smoothie?

(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:33, archived)

Do people still go for a Christmas day swim by Southsea?

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:32, archived)

i think a few do
hypothermia and sewage poisoning will see them off though, one by one
(

manolith hooray for me, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:33, archived)

I went down once, had a think about it and went home again.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:36, archived)

you tart, even I've swum in the Solent

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:37, archived)

I swam in it loads, just not on Christmas day when it was about 2 below.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:39, archived)

yeah, fair point
nobody wants to see a chubby ginge with stiff nipples in bermuda shorts when they've just eaten a massive christmas dinner
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:43, archived)

Chubby :(
It's true. But it still hurts.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:44, archived)

My grandfather used to go swimming by south parade pier on boxing day
And he's been dead for 30 years. Really makes you think.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:44, archived)

It still freaks my nut

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:49, archived)

The restraining order even forbids this
CEASE AND DESSIST
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:19, archived)

Merry Christmas!
twitter.com/LucasTheMagnif/status/812131373540483073
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:46, archived)

I wonder where he bought that hat
in a capitalist retail emporium, no doubt
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:49, archived)

It's a good point.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:50, archived)

He's probably quite lonely.

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:52, archived)

Chances are they'll make me work a full day, today, but hope springs, as ever.
Took the family to see Rogue One, last night, so I'm feeling pretty buoyant - my inner child is well happy.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 8:50, archived)

Mr Bitches to you
Morning!
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:05, archived)

alright keybo
feeling better now?
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:24, archived)

Old iron bowels is back in town
*clang clang*
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:32, archived)

Merry Christmas eve eve
I'll be celebrating by arsing around for a few hours and heading home at twelve.
(Roger McGough-Pipe, Fri 23 Dec 2016, 9:35, archived)

Not sure what's happening there, so here's a new thread!
Good evening.
Plans?
Glans?

wine, weed and the Ghostbusters reboot por moi.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:07, archived)

Not sure what to have for evening meal.
Thanks for asking.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:08, archived)

Have a nice cock.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:11, archived)

Duh... I meant additionally.

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:13, archived)

Oh, maybe a nice spinach and ricotta quiche and some sweet potato wedges.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:16, archived)

+ and a dutch blindfold

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:17, archived)

strikey G oven
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:19, archived)

pervert

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:26, archived)

Works do, 3 course dinner in the hall, then a free bar.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:10, archived)

You're like frisbee Adam I've noticed

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:11, archived)

dunno who they are soz
Or you, for that matter...

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:14, archived)

Frisbee is now some sort of dragonboat racing guy.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:16, archived)

is that a geek thing?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:19, archived)

No, a proper boat on the water.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:21, archived)

He was a prick hth

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:24, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/lzXnD
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:40, archived)

You do that every night tho

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:00, archived)

I'm in the pub.
Hopefully I'll meet my mate Dan who's back up for Christmas, before I go back to Brum.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:52, archived)

Very nearly shat myself in the way to the pub, hth.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:53, archived)

I wrapped some presents
All that fucking work and wastage just to cover up some pointless consumerist objects whose identity will be surprisingly revealed in a few day's time when they turn out to be exactly what they're supposed to be because that's what the recipient requested. This whole thing really is a load of total bollocks
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:00, archived)

It'd be so much better for the kids with all the suspense, wonderment and magic removed

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:04, archived)

what kids?

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:08, archived)

Uh, there's a few million of them about.
You don't enjoy something personally, why should anyone else get to experience it?
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:18, archived)

Brexit

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:49, archived)



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                                                          `/..sNMMNdmNMMMMMMMMNmms.                 
                                              `o`        +d+omMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMdooy.                
                                              .d.  `:oo:hMNmMMMMMMNmmdhhyyyyhdmMMh./                
                                         ``.+oomd/:dNmmMMMMNmdhso++++++++++ymdsohd-                 
                                   `.:ohmmmdhNMMMNNMMMNdhso+++++++oo++oo+smmyso+++s/`               
                                `/ydNNMMMMMMMMMMMNmhso+++++++++oss+++ss+omyoso+h+++os/.             
                              `:o++yNMMMMMMMNmhyo++++++++++++sys+++oyo++ho++hNNh+++++osso++:--`     
                              ``.omMMMMNmhyoo+++++++++++++osyo++++sho+++++/.-+yo+++++++so+::-:/+:`  
                              `:dNNmhyo+++++++++++++++++oyyo+++++sy++++++++++oy+++++os+:--------/o` 
                          `-/+syso+++++++++++++++++++++yyo++++++yh++++++++++oo+++++o/:-----sy:---o/ 
                      `-/osso+++++++++++++++++++++++++ho+++++++syyo++++++++++++++o+:-------/y/---/s`
                   .:+sso++++++++++++++++++++++++++++yh+++++++sh++sso++++++++++oo:----------------s`
                `:oso++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ms++++++odo+++oyy++++++++o/------------------o`
              .+ss+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++No++++++yh++osysoss+++++o:--:+sso+:---------/o 
            `/so++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++oNo++++++dyyyo:.` `+y++o+:-/ydmmddho+/:-----/o. 
           .oo+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++No+++++om+-`      `sho+-:smmmmmdo:/:-:/::///.  
          /s+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++No+++++od`         .mo-:hmdhdmd+-//`  `````    
        `os+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++y++++++ms+++++sh`         `y:-syyhyyhs/:::/:          
       .so++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++sy+so++dh+++++yo           //:/oo+/::-:::-//          
      .yo++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++d++osshm+++++h.            -s+/://+o-...--`          
     .yo+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++do++++oNo+++y+              s++o++o:                 
    `ys++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ds++++ody++ss               s////o/                  
    +y+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ds+++oh+dosd-               +///o:                   
   .h++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++mo++oh+:oyos`               .+++.                    
   sy+++++++++++++++++++++++osy+++++++++++++++od++sh+::::s/`            `-:-:/`                     
  .d+++++oooooo+++++++++++++++hy++++++++++++++hy+yh+::::/h++/-`       ./oy/::s+                     
  oy++osssooooshs++++++++++ooo+do+++++++++++++dhyo::::::yo:::/+:.`  `:oss/:::+y`                    
  y+++++++++++++yho++++++os+/::oy+++++++++++++mo:::::::/d:::::::/+/:syss/::::o+                     
 .y++++++++++++++odo+++os+/:::::y++++++++++++om/:::::::ss:::::::::/oo//::::::y.                     
 :y+++++++++++++++od++oyssoyo:::+y+++++++++++om::::::+/ho:::::::::::::::::::s/                      
 oy++++++++++++++++shyys++o/sy:::h+++++++o++++d:::::::/+yo:::::::::::::::::+/`                      
 os+++++++++++ooo+osdo++++o+:so::oy++++++ossssh++/:::/++oy+:::::::::::::::+:                        
 /y+++++++++++++oohy++++++s/::h:::h+++++++++++o+/h:::/::::+so+yoooo++++++/`                         
 .d++++++++++++++ys++++++oh/::d:::sy++++++++osyo+os/::::::::/+so`                                   
  +y++++++++++++s+++++++++s::+h++++sy++++++os+++o+sso/:::::::/os                                    
   .+ss++++++++++++++++++so::h:     :ys+++++++++++++o+oyoo+///-`                                    
     `-+syso+++++++++++++y::o+       `:hyo++++++++++oyoo                                            
         `-/osyso+++++++s//o/          `-+oosssssssooo-                                             
              `-+syyoooss/-`                 ```..``                                                
                   `...`

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:10, archived)

Baldie Colin has stuck a load of skiffle on the juker.
It's not bad, he's a decent selecter.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 19:52, archived)

It's alright everyone, I've put on Virginia Plain.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 20:27, archived)

^weary of the waltz

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 20:29, archived)

I put on a version of Knoxville Girl but it was too upbeat; don't think it was the trad country one.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 20:32, archived)

Travelling for 10 hours tomorrow to stay with family
Opened a Secret Santa present early as too big to take with me.

Ultra Fluffy pimp-looking Legend of Zelda bathrobe!

A bit small but after the diet and over pj's its the goron's bollocks!
(

Blobcat Less Jaffacakes this year, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 23:26, archived)

Poopo thread klaxon!
What's that smell?
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:32, archived)

Maybe it's on your top lip.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:34, archived)

I'll have to shave it off to get a job with Trump
IT STAYS
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:49, archived)

the odd gummy waxy stuff the hairdresser put in my barnet

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:35, archived)

See what I do here is say 'no' when the hairdresser says "do you want any 'product'?"

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:41, archived)

didn't fucking ask, did she
not that I mind
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:58, archived)

everybody look what's going de-ell

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:42, archived)

I reckon the Cher version is better than the Buffalo Springfield version.
There.
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:43, archived)

says you

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:45, archived)

wotsits

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:43, archived)

you want to see a doctor, m8

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:44, archived)

speaking of doctors, i just got hit on by a doctor who fan
he asked me out for texting and scones
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:04, archived)

How did he pronounce 'scone'?

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:06, archived)

he typed it
so i don't know
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:14, archived)

Texting and scones?
I get the scones bit...
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:48, archived)

Maybe he's that much of a melt he can't look a woman in the eye.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:51, archived)

Still, a date's a date

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:53, archived)

it refers to a scene
where he's trying to set up 2 characters and tells one that the other wants to go out with him for texting and scones. hilarity is then supposed to ensue over the doctor's lack of pick up lines
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:55, archived)

I don't understand a single part of this, but good luck!
Assuming you've accepted, of course.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 16:58, archived)

he looks about 12
i'd feel like a right nonce, so i said no
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 17:03, archived)

That, and he thinks it's well lol to quote bits of childrens programmes.
Fucking hell.
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 17:12, archived)

Aloe vera sanitising hand gel

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:51, archived)

TOOLS DOWN! FUCK YOU!!

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:55, archived)

blue dream apparently, seems alright
www.leafly.com/hybrid/blue-dream
(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 15:56, archived)

yn
Can anyone tell me what film this is?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kANpHAdJG4I&t=0m41s
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 17:43, archived)

Irreversible 2: the klumps

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 18:00, archived)

What was the best Christmas party you've ever been to?
I thought Jase's thread about Christmas music had potential but he got off on the wrong foot by talking about the Spice Girls, thus instantly and inevitably summoning everyone to take the piss out of him for being a musicwrong. Although I can see how you might be able to appreciate a Spice Girls video if you were deaf, since some of them were quite phwoar back in the day.

Anyway. Best party?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:13, archived)

One world Christmas do, I spent quite a bit of time rubbing the leather-clad thighs of one of the department managers,
whilst her fiancée glowered at me.
That was a fun evening. I got one of the younger employees in trouble with his mum, too.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:23, archived)

Did you adopt the dual bended knee of Vic Reeves while doing so?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:24, archived)

I think she was perched on a bar stool.
She never rubbed mine in reciprocation, though. :(
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:25, archived)

Blimey, I bet she loved that

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:32, archived)

Hey!
I like a lot of "music", thanks. Don't be pigeonholing me for liking one of the most successful girl bands ever.

mass hysteria has a lot to answer for
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:25, archived)

No point trying to make excuses, now.
Everyone makes questionable choices in their youth, it's just that most of us grow out of them.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:26, archived)

At least you have the decency to put "music" in inverted commas when talking about the Spice Girls.
And success is no indicator of talent. What has mass hysteria got to do with it?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:27, archived)

Tina Turnerszzzzz

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:47, archived)

I was caught up in a wave, man.

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:47, archived)

They've all been equally dreadful

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:26, archived)

This one this year
Where apparently I told my manager to get her tits out so we could get served quicker. The joke is they are shit tits and it probably would have hindered the process.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:27, archived)

Everything about this is smooth af.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:29, archived)

lol, "shit tits"

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:30, archived)

Dr McBeef's body modifications.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:31, archived)

dunno

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:28, archived)

I don't think I've ever bothered to go to an official work's Christmas party.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:28, archived)

Dunno

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:31, archived)

oh I don't know, do I

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:31, archived)

I'm muslim.
Cheers
(Herbypotatoes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:36, archived)

Muslims are allowed to go to parties, surely?

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:37, archived)

Not me.
I'm one of them nutty ones that despises your western decadence.
(Herbypotatoes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:54, archived)

Oh!
You guys are loads of fun
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:05, archived)

I reckon that George! is one too, what with all his subjugation of the poon and that

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:11, archived)

What's wrong with the spice girls?

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:38, archived)

What, apart from the fact that they're bland, manufactured, formulaic pop, you mean?

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:39, archived)

The musical equivalent of crispy pancakes

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:42, archived)

With the difference that I occasionally get nostalgic cravings for crispy pancakes.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:44, archived)

Bring back Stock, Aitken and Waterman, the good old days

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:43, archived)

With their "use exactly the same 4/4 and chord progression for rick astley and mel and kim", classic

(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:46, archived)

There's only so much you can do with a linndrum.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:57, archived)

holland dozier holland did that a fair bit and all

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:25, archived)

All music is manufactured
They had loads of really well written songs and I'm not sure they would've been such a cultural phenomenon if they were bland.
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:03, archived)

My racist phone suggested that last word should've been 'black'

(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:04, archived)

"One thing you learn when you’re in the business of selling utter shite to the Great British Public is that there’s really no bottom to where they’ll go.
"Shit food, shit TV, shit bands, shit films, shit houses. There is absolutely no fucking bottom with this stuff. The shittier you can make it - a bad photocopy of a bad photocopy of what was a shit idea in the first place - they’ll eat it up with a fucking big spoon, from dawn till dusk from now until the end of time. It’s too good. "
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:09, archived)

girls aloud made them look useless

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:42, archived)

They had a better writing team

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:48, archived)

They had the advantage of improving on an already successful idea though
No spice girls no girls aloud
(

tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:59, archived)

You'd get more charisma, charm, wit, and singing ability from 5 slowly deflating Space Hoppers
Than they ever had.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:52, archived)

went to a fancy dress party in Warsaw's citadel
Fucked Red Riding Hood in the back of my car
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:42, archived)

I like your retake on the Brothers Grimm.
Have you got an anthology for sale?
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:44, archived)

dunno

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:48, archived)

TCR Natwest Bank party, '85
Did a massive line of speed, got the DJ to play the b-side of Silver Machine (Seven By Seven), danced like a lunatic and puked publicly fairly early on.

Left banking for a career in IT fairly soon after.
(

fuscous, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:21, archived)

B for effort
I once attended a recruitment evening organised by Merrill Lynch, I think it was. Five hours of open bar in a cocktail bar with a fifteen-minute presentation of the company when everyone was already too wasted to pay any attention.

The evening ended with the police being called and made the local newspapers the following day.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 13:29, archived)

No losers thread.
Don't post in this thread if you're a loser.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:03, archived)

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:04, archived)

^ preserving the "poopo thread" tradition

(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:24, archived)

Bored of that now.
Best Christmas song... or who would you get to cover a classic?

Answer for both Spice Girls - Christmas Wrapping.

Obvs
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:32, archived)

Phil Spector

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:35, archived)

Not these days. He's all bedraggled

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:38, archived)

Oh m8
They murdered that :(
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:35, archived)

I'm biased, of course.
Really it's only Emma and Mel C.
But still...
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:37, archived)

Look
The Saturdays did it marginally better. Marginally.
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:45, archived)

Blasphemy

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:51, archived)

The only Christmas Wrapping you need is by Kurtis Blow, hth.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:36, archived)

chompy carrot - ringo starr

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:40, archived)

Better than
Paul's one
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:46, archived)

All the threads since the morning thread have been poopo

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:44, archived)

Grrrmachine has bulied me into never starting a morning thread again :(

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:46, archived)

this

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:51, archived)

Just trying to get some festive cheer going.
Lord knows we need it.
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:51, archived)

Push it up your bottom.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:58, archived)

Lost Prophets - Rock N Roll Christmas
#edgy #megalolz
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:47, archived)

On those BBC quizzes, I wish they'd have a button for "I Don't Know"
Because if I guess and get it right, I feel like I've cheated the system. I'd much rather admit that I don't know it, and then learn something.
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:48, archived)

Craig David - Fairytale of New York

(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:50, archived)

with who?

(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:51, archived)

Daniel Bed-ing-field

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:53, archived)

I had 'I gotta get thru this' on vinyl bitd.

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:54, archived)

Peter Andre
Or Robbie Williams if he's unavailable
(

2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:59, archived)

Coil's version of Tainted Love

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:50, archived)

Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" is on the radio, now.
It's pretty terrible. Probably not as terrible as anything the Spice Girls have ever done, though.
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:05, archived)

Carol of the Bells by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra for the first one.
Dunno for the second one.
(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 12:06, archived)

9/13
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-38393142
(

GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:47, archived)

+was an inside job.
(I got 8)
(

monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:48, archived)

6. I hate the so-called "news"

(

Kroney, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:53, archived)

It is kind of hard to say how the particular species of moth that landed on Ronaldo's face is in any way newsworthy.

(

.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:54, archived)

Moths are not nearly heavy enough for my liking.

(

Kroney, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 11:10, archived)

Waiting For A Gull Like You - 10 / 13

(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:53, archived)

12/13

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:55, archived)

7/13
#neverforget
(

keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:56, archived)

morning

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 6:50, archived)

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 6:51, archived)

Morning.
I think you ought to provide a budget alternative for those posters that are part of Theresa Mays new focus, the Just About Managing.
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:57, archived)

I work pro bono m8

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:02, archived)

I think I've found a future spree killer.
conversationrage.weebly.com
(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:03, archived)

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:09, archived)

Has a robot generated that?
Only, it seems to be the same few sentences, over and over.

A BIT LIKE BEETER AHAHAHA!!!
(

drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:19, archived)

you ungrateful swine

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:57, archived)

it was a fair effort m8
but it was the third one of the day, which you'd know if you weren't a) so precious and b) such a sleepyhead
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:03, archived)

first worst, second best
third's the one with the hairy chest, ma8
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:06, archived)

well, at least he's got hair somewhere

(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:06, archived)

Fourth the Golden Eagle, for some reason

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:07, archived)

Nazis came fourth in ww2

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:08, archived)

Ah, right

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:08, archived)

Obvious when you think about it.

(

Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:11, archived)

It does make sense

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:12, archived)

Precious?
Are you suggesting that I have that boy on 2.0 because he upsets me?
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:06, archived)

yeah, grrrmo and spanishfly think alike

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:16, archived)

I ought to take him off ignore really
spirit of christmas and all that
(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:18, archived)

i can't because i'm too upset

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:22, archived)

I dunno m8
I dunno why anyone uses 2.0 when it's so completely broken
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:26, archived)

it's not really, you can't see the person you put on ignore unless you log out

(

mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:28, archived)

either that or he thinks you're a sassy fat black chick

(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:27, archived)

I'd prefer to think that, when seeing another shitpost
Two Hats fans his heaving bosom while saying "Mistah Spanishflah, you are givin me thuh vapours!"
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:32, archived)

threewordphrase.com/mlady.htm
(

manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:42, archived)

Ooh, chile!

(

Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:53, archived)

Morning
Today is my "urgh™" day
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:17, archived)

you'll get through this
I believe in you
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:20, archived)

The bacon is my shepherd, I shall want more bacon
Bacon
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:22, archived)

bacon's alright
but it's hardly the messiah of meat, is it.
(

Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:29, archived)

Oh no, that clearly goes to steak or lamb
But right now bacon is my one set of footprints in the sand, if you know what I mean
(

H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:35, archived)

My missus bought so much meat at the supermarket the other day
she felt compelled to text me a photo of it all stacked in the freezer. Honestly, a few days off work and she's lost her mind.
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:56, archived)

well, show us then
i got another sandwich from deli too that was so beautiful i took a picture of it. it's just a thing people do now
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manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 10:04, archived)

Morning.
I've got exclusive music release news.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 7:59, archived)

You're releasing a single copy that you'll keep in a safe for 100 years like Malkovitch's wanky film?
*fingers crossed*
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:02, archived)

Wait, is that a thing?
And it's not my music, that's already available and selling poorly.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:03, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/100_Years_(film)
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:17, archived)

What a bullshit bum wank crap shit balls up.

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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:36, archived)

Yep
"Once Upon a Time in Shaolin... is a double album by the New York hip hop group Wu-Tang Clan which was limited to a single copy sold in 2015."
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H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:38, archived)

WAY-OH

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:04, archived)

BOOM BOOM BOOM!

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:10, archived)

One point five on the Basil Scale

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:12, archived)

[ insert McBeef's factoid here ]

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:23, archived)

+ BOOM BOOM!
I want you in my room etc.
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H.B.Mupps, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:56, archived)

Morning, funky bunch.
This talk of bacon is making me want bacon, and fried eggs.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:07, archived)

Imma make more coffee

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:10, archived)

I've made some turbo ~~Baileys~~ coffee this morning that I'm hoping will cure my headache without giving me the squitters.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:20, archived)

Caffeine will make a headache worse, have booze

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:23, archived)

Intending to at lunchtime.
Only three hours to go.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:30, archived)

I went to a pub yesterday
and it serves proper beer from taps, but get this: the barman can pop a 1litre bottle onto the tap, fill it up, seal it properly, and let you take it home.
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:42, archived)

I used to know a pub where they'd let you take your pint home in a clean milk carton.

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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:00, archived)

My day off is contingent on me being available to work on my mobile, should they need me.
Not entirely happy about this, but this is what I get for becoming indispensable.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:40, archived)

yeah, sure
"morning"
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Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:58, archived)

That's what
They want you to think.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:59, archived)

I've had it up to hear with your attitude m8

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:05, archived)

Yay not shitting and vomming today
It truly is a Christmas miracle
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 8:58, archived)

^dessicated husk

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:06, archived)

Think I ate too many bowls
Of this.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:23, archived)

morning mister misery

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manolith hooray for me, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:06, archived)

sun is shining, frost is prettifying everything, I've awoken refreshed and there's a steak in the fridge for later
I've got nutin to be miserable about
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:19, archived)

hi, i just read katie hopkins in the mail and i agree with her, that's a worry

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mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:20, archived)

was she talking about the best brands to use when spodding?

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:28, archived)

nah people who are professional victims

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mongychops, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:31, archived)

Like her then
Complaining about which people have had to waste their fucking time investigating her for every time she spouts her shite yesterday on Twitter.

All she has is hate, she doesn't have any constructive thoughts in her head.
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keybo was imtypingonakeyboard, now I'm not, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:43, archived)

Well, obvs.
Why else would she write for the Mail?
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 9:58, archived)

baby if you've got to go away
don't think i can take the pain
oh won't you stay another day?
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Zuowan, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:43, archived)

now get a few more verses done and I think you might have a hit on your hands
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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:52, archived)

s+hit

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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:47, archived)

Eat some jacket potatoes and drive over yourself.

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Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:52, archived)

fly a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:53, archived)

The old 'spray' and 'macho man' was much less effort, tbh

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 22 Dec 2016, 1:14, archived)

grrrmachine noo come back :(

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:52, archived)

I didn't think I could take the pain m2x4

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:53, archived)

naaww donsaythatmayt

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:56, archived)

American 2x4" wood isn't even that big
I've been lied to all my life. Particularly by Hacksaw Jim Duggan
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:09, archived)

what's your plan, hunt him down?

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:20, archived)

might just give him a tape measure, I dunno

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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:38, archived)

:)

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:39, archived)

I thought that was Team 17
but then I remembered that that was a game studio who made Worms
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:53, archived)

\o/

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:53, archived)

they still exist

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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 20:58, archived)

alright MGT

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vladimir, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:04, archived)

I am surprised at this
but not surprised that you'd know it
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Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:11, archived)

No that was Mickey Hutton

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:04, archived)

Alien Breed was ace.

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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 21 Dec 2016, 21:16, archived)

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