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morning

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:45, archived)
Hullo

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
beefy

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:30, archived)
Morning

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:20, archived)
alright

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:30, archived)
alright

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:26, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
good morning

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:38, archived)
and isn't it a looovely morning?

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
morning

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:42, archived)
yo

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
6 Music keep telling me that Kendrick Lamar is brilliant.
Rarely have they been more wrong.
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:52, archived)
he has his moments
but largely, you are correct.
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:32, archived)
I've no time for these modern pricks

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:33, archived)
Radio 6 is shit and for cunts
Should have shut it down when they were going to, bloody whiny millenials with their social media campaigns
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 12:52, archived)
horbs
*nods chin up*
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:45, archived)
Morning Horbs
Stonker up here like
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 10:50, archived)

t k n
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 12:17, archived)

r?
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 12:54, archived)
Morning all
youtu.be/1ppisOulgG0
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 5:31, archived)
I'm sleepy.
Someone bring me tea.
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:18, archived)

youtu.be/lkeZ2P4SiY8
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:18, archived)
Dope

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:23, archived)
that was super shit
and inaccurate
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:25, archived)
Horrid innit
I liked how the new 'down with the kids' arm of the conservatives 'activate' is so down with them it twice referred to them as 'they' and 'them' in its own mission statement.
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:03, archived)
the illest motherfucker to pick up the mic, son
it's nearly as bad as that rapping teacher advert I keep seeing
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:22, archived)
I've not seen that, but I'm happy to keep it that way.

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:04, archived)
Ug

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 8:29, archived)
Ooga booga

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
Arooo

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 9:43, archived)
Eveninh

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 0:22, archived)
morninh SSG
whatcha doinh?
(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 0:55, archived)
I'm going to start a thread, I've nothing to share with you, I don't think I have an online opinion on much, I'm just me, but I like a row, so go on let's have it

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:20, archived)
Bill and Ted or Wayne's World?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:22, archived)
wayne's world obvs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:33, archived)
WRONG

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:35, archived)
them's fighting words

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:39, archived)
It's genuinely criminal how Wayne's is held in such high regard compared to B&T

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:41, archived)
bill and ted is all very well if you're 10 years or under

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:44, archived)
wut

(, Sat 2 Sep 2017, 1:02, archived)
What channel? Makes a big difference

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:44, archived)
Bogus Journey is better than Excellent Adventure.
There, I said it.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:48, archived)
And WW2 is shit.
Makes you think.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:04, archived)
You can wee without doing a poo, but you can't do a poo without doing a wee.
Really makes you think.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:05, archived)
lol poo

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:10, archived)
Lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:13, archived)
1048576, bottom get

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:25, archived)

bottom spawny
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:27, archived)
This is a spreadsheet joke, at 9.30 on a friday night, w/y/h

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:27, archived)
"joke"

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:28, archived)
sympathy reply

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:30, archived)
The only thing worse than no-one clapping is one person clapping, loudly and slowly

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:32, archived)
And then I got off the bus, ahh.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:35, archived)
Fp this

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 21:45, archived)
Orsonwelles.gif

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:26, archived)
your mum

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:00, archived)
Alright horbs
Welcome back
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:01, archived)
Apparently they have nostalgia raves these days
Can you imagine how shit they'd be. I saw a poster for some TWENTY STAGES AND FIVE MILLION DJS event, fucking moondance or something. I am struggling to imagine how awful that would be.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:25, archived)
Raving outside is shit.
You want a club with a funktion one.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:27, archived)
You want a fucking slap
Aircraft hangar or warehouse or gay off
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:28, archived)
No m8
Fuck rain and a coming up shit in the bushes.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:28, archived)
And the 43 year old 'classic rock' wankas with their unrealistic expectations of modern electronic music, its embarrassing.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:30, archived)

Soz.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:30, archived)
No more gin 4 u please

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:32, archived)
Lols, clink street, can't historically top that

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:31, archived)
Wankers like young dozer here missed it all and have no idea, poor souls

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:33, archived)
Lol old and out of touch

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:36, archived)

You haven't been to a 'rave' since the 1990s.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:37, archived)
I only went to one clink rave, dunno how they go in, it's a museum now , it was so hot they gave out ice pops

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:39, archived)
I remember being given frozen grapes at some do, quite something after 8 hours of soapbar and red rizla throatbusters

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:43, archived)
Labyrinth was ace, as was sterns in worthing
Metal detectors and bog doors sawn in half towards the end, still lost their licence.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:46, archived)
Dungeons was grim, leytonstone I think, open sewers in the boys

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:27, archived)
Didn't check the girls, lol , bogs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:28, archived)
Oh you

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:32, archived)
If they keep it legit and over 40, they are going to need a lot of CV chairs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:28, archived)
I have horrible mental images of 45 year old council grans gurning

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:31, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:34, archived)
Paint it for me

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:43, archived)
Dozer went to this last week, apparently it was 'banging'
youtu.be/sx6jVNk-Qbs
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:52, archived)
Lol still upset over pinaforegate and taking it out on yr internet pals.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:56, archived)
another lol at the 0:48

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:12, archived)
Heh

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:31, archived)
Judge Judy
Is fucking ace innit?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:23, archived)
dunno what that is soz

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:33, archived)
Ignorance of the law is no defence. That's five years in the Cubes, creep!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:50, archived)
You're a fucking gay prick and everyone hates you, especially your tranny kid Noah.
Just sayin.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 19:09, archived)
Hahahahahaha
You sad pathetic mong.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 22:40, archived)
Lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 23:00, archived)
judge judy and executioner?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 20:15, archived)
I could do with a stiff drink
What could *you* do with?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:17, archived)
shout out to my strikey g niggaz on lock

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:18, archived)
Yes I would like a stiff one as well

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
A big fat cock up my arse.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
I ain't telling you what I do with

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
oh go on, please

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:35, archived)
In many ways, I think you already know

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:42, archived)
oh I know alright, I just want to hear you say it

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:45, archived)
pervert

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:46, archived)
the new 7541 piece LEGO (tm) Millennium Flacon (tm)
I have 0 of those and a non-binary can dream, can't it?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:22, archived)
Check this out amigo.
i.imgur.com/F4L2miL.png
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:22, archived)
TINY REICH!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:24, archived)
^infest

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:31, archived)
Well, I'm aroused

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:24, archived)
I assume it's for a fetish porn movie.
I think I recognise the little one from that film where they get the smallest porn star ever to fuck the biggest.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:32, archived)
häil

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:25, archived)
Hāil

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:32, archived)
what does that mean?
or are you saying, you can't see my usage of the umlaut "ae" (a with dots in top) ?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:21, archived)
You've just made my brother's year

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:25, archived)
It's the least I could do after his episode.
How is he getting on?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:31, archived)
Still signed off, no driving for six months
Various scans and blood tests going on, plus anti depressants and counselling

The full montgomery
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:35, archived)
Poor fella.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:42, archived)
Yup, at least he's getting help though
And about 6 months ago he cut a good 100 units a week off his boozing, which must be a good idea. I could do with doing the same tbh
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:44, archived)
I reckon we could all settle the booze a bit.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:46, archived)
I'm still literally in my honeymoon period, that's my excuse and it runs out in 3 weeks when I get back from Italy
My brother just packed the wine in and just has beers, problem is I and my wife both fackin love the old wines
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:48, archived)
I'm just back to not drinking Monday to Thursday unless we're out.
It makes a serious difference
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:58, archived)
I try that but the gin always wins.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:06, archived)
That's what I'm going to have to do

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:08, archived)
Try some new wines.
I'm sure a month on nothing but beaujolais will cure you of your wine habit.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:59, archived)
eww

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:07, archived)
I'm really into this at the mo
www.carnivorwine.com/
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:08, archived)
What's the vegetarian option?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:47, archived)
wee wee

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:52, archived)
I won't drink anything that hasn't been passed by the management.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:05, archived)
Yukko

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:11, archived)
So the nazi salute actually means "you must be under this tall to ride"?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:47, archived)
I would like a drink

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:23, archived)
I'm in the pub after a heated discussion with a pawnbroker, the fucking idiot

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:32, archived)
Let me guess?
Watch nonsense.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:32, archived)
Yep

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:33, archived)
Undervalued a sale or overvalued a watch you want?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:34, archived)
Watch I want, but replaced hands so I wanted money off, he denied they had been replaced

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:43, archived)
how do you prove something like that and also how could you tell?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:45, archived)
He'd painted the hands on

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:46, archived)
The hands were made from little willies

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:47, archived)
They hadn't aged like the rest , and under a loupe you could see they were a different lume material, funny he's lost the service paperwork

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:48, archived)
dude probably got burnt himself and was just trying to quietly pass it on

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:49, archived)
Probably, he was a bit shocked I pulled out a loupe, I only asked for 200 off as I'd need to get original hands

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:52, archived)
Just discovered them domed-glass luminors. They're beautiful.
6 grand though.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 19:12, archived)
Fragile as fuck , lovely tho

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 20:04, archived)
Clapping out of time to music being punishable by death
And a nice pint of dark rum.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:47, archived)

pint of
r b

lol
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:49, archived)
I'm an equal opportunity bummer

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:52, archived)

dark r c

lol
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:51, archived)
IBYWYDOB

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:52, archived)
hahahah urban myth classic, there

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:06, archived)
saw a poster of him at the guild hall last weekend
the dirty old bollocks
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:33, archived)
there's a highly amusing poster on the tube at the moment
It's for some boatyard museum or some shit - it's a picture of an excited little boy and underneath it says

TAKE THE HELM

Well I laughed.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:36, archived)
noice

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:04, archived)

clapping wanking
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:59, archived)

time a window
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:34, archived)
take me away

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:50, archived)
Bognor ok?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:51, archived)
got any whizz?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:56, archived)
loads

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:09, archived)
let's go

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:55, archived)
isn't bognorok where vikings go when they die?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:36, archived)
no m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:37, archived)
Nah they go to van hallen

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:43, archived)
To amarillo

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:56, archived)
sure

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:58, archived)
to Bel Air!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:09, archived)
Summat indulgent and entertaining to put today's office crapness out of my mind.
At the moment that's looking like some denomination of beer, a bit of piano practice and a film (dunno which one yet).
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 17:11, archived)
I also need a drink.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:02, archived)
same

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 18:33, archived)
Something stiff, certainly

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 19:56, archived)
How about...a dead body?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 20:03, archived)
Weed delivered.
Crianza bought.
Having a pint while the takeaway cooks my haggis pakora, Lekali Chicken and Aloo Partha.

Everything is coming up slippery mick, basically.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 20:47, archived)
morning

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:02, archived)
Hey

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:03, archived)
hullo

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:07, archived)
no, he's still alive

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:09, archived)
I'm really bored.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:14, archived)
I ate a big lunch, and now I'm really sleepy.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:15, archived)
alright

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:18, archived)
Clapping out of time to music should be punishable by death
Hello!
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:20, archived)
ait

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:21, archived)
Yet again, it has managed to start lashing it down with rain just before I have to go home.
Second day in a row now. W00t!
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:24, archived)
Autumn is coming.
[Game Of Thrones on a shoestring budget]
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:32, archived)
They're going to swap those IKEA rugs for pound shop ones.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:37, archived)
Haven't seen any GoT since series 4 (I think).
Bit worried that I'll be sent into an impotent rage over how much it's diverged from the books, and how they've got [important scene / character] wrong.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:47, archived)
Ha, I didn't make it past the first half of season 1.
Then again I'm not a massive fantasy fan, despite liking LOTR. If George R. R. Martin could write a historical drama, with all the intrigue but none of the constant over-the-top murdering and raping and dragons, I'd watch the shit out of that.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:53, archived)
parp

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:28, archived)
that fucken honks, m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:03, archived)
Good morning

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:29, archived)
alright mgt.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:31, archived)
o/

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 16:15, archived)
Has dozers fucked off yet?
alt: fuck off dozers.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:14, archived)
I fucking hope so
alt: alright mr h, you still in brum?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:16, archived)
no, tangers. I have moved to The North.
Flat cap and whippets for me now.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:17, archived)
ee by gum, fuck t'horse, lad

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:26, archived)
ONE OF US, ONE OF US

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:36, archived)
SUCK UPON MINE PENUS, FOR IT IS THE PENUS OF THE LORD

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:17, archived)
alright Two Hats
How's the lawn?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:18, archived)
Not bad
The rain has helped
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:19, archived)
Ger, think I might go out for a wander

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:20, archived)
alright mongy
It's a nice afternoon for the juicer.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:21, archived)
Yeah will have a couple , got my kids tonight tho

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:26, archived)
Dunno, dun'care.
He could contribute 70% of the content of this board and I still wouldn't see it.

I cannot wait to sod off home today. I'm applying for a new job over the weekend but it'll take 5-9 months to know whether I've got it.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:23, archived)
Are you a caterpillar
And have you applied to be a butterfly?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:21, archived)
got what, a baby?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:56, archived)
This site is more tolerable if you put everyone on ignore.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:23, archived)
it did wonders for fucksocks's's mental state

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:30, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:49, archived)
alright

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:25, archived)
I'm really busy and it's really annoying.
Friday shit wank.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:29, archived)
^

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:36, archived)

busy and it's really annoying.
iday shit w
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:38, archived)
That is not true.
Colin just told me "some nig nog has drowned in the river, probably trying to steal a boat"
I don't even know where to start sometimes.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:41, archived)
oh my goodness
Well, I love you.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:42, archived)
Might not do any more work today. What do you reckon?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:46, archived)
Nearly 2:00 on a friday afternoon?
Yeah, no point starting anything important. Can you make yourself look busy?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:56, archived)
I'm just gonna go and sweep the workshop.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:19, archived)
That'll fuck the fishing up for a bit

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:45, archived)
Will it?
They had police divers and firemen trawling the water and so on. Will it scare the fish off a bit?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:45, archived)
Yeah that swim will be fucked , although you could ask the old bill to find some nice gravel patches and bait them

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:47, archived)
I'm not speaking to plod.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:18, archived)
Colin is a cunt

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:09, archived)
Oh, yeah

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:23, archived)
Yello are cunts too

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:08, archived)
I've never met a Colin who wasn't a cunt

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:48, archived)
Come to think of it, the Colin at our work was a bit racist as well.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:50, archived)
My aunt used to go out with a guy called Colin.
He was alright.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:55, archived)
I heard he used to pressure her in to sex when she didn't really want to after he'd had a couple of shandy bass

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:58, archived)
I heard he used to tell her that her arse looked fat while really it was just pleasingly plump

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:04, archived)
i dated a Colin once
he had a second set of teeth behind the first set. put me right off.
also, he was a tight-fisted cunt.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:01, archived)
Was he a shark?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:11, archived)
pretty sure he wasn't
the whole lack of gills thing was a bit of a giveaway
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 15:13, archived)
herro

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:46, archived)
here he is!!!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:59, archived)
howdy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:25, archived)
I'm in Morley.
It is well shit.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:05, archived)

in Morley. It is
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:26, archived)
if he hasn't, do you want me to shank him?
need to get rid of a bit of aggression
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:08, archived)
I ent scared of u

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:09, archived)
i just got done over by the social
imma kill someone by the end of the day
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:13, archived)
Lol poor

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:14, archived)
poorer than i thought
they stung me for £834 they say they've overpaid me. that works out at around £139 a month they want to take off me, not counting the money they want repaying. that with the £75 tax hike because carer's allowance is taxable means i'm going to be worae off than before, with the added bonus of having to deal with a mental.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:17, archived)
well that's fucking rubbish eh

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:24, archived)
it is indeed very rubbish
i'm feeling a glimmer of hope, though, as the letter clearly states that they never took the carer's allowance into account. this is an admission on their part, they are saying the fault is theirs. i'm still gonna wind up more than a oner down each month, but i might not have to repay the £834
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:39, archived)
Don't get your hopes up
If the overpayment is real they will get it all back - your best bet will be to negotiate a longer repayment period with smaller repayments.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:41, archived)
if i have to, i will
joined the carer's association last week, they have a dedicated advocate for benefit rights, so i'll call in and see if they can help
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:45, archived)
That's a bit rubbish.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:29, archived)
Just tell them you spent it.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:34, archived)

you spent it it was just resting in your account
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:39, archived)
Then raffle off a Rover Vitesse to reclaim the funds.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:55, archived)
careful now

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:55, archived)
Horbs xx
Where have you been, you miserable cunt?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 14:20, archived)
Guys?
This is a 'no negative vibes' thread, yeah?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:12, archived)
peace
off

lol
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:19, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:21, archived)
I know

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:22, archived)
There is no remedy for love but to love more.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:21, archived)
you can't hug a child with nuclear arms, m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:21, archived)
I didn't spread my horseradish evenly, it seems
and I just hit a big blob of it. Nelly.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:22, archived)
well you've really fucked it up now
just smash it into your anus
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:25, archived)
don't tell me what I already know, m8
I know how to eat horseradish. Jesus.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:26, archived)
I really hate to see Richard and Gary fighting :'(

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:21, archived)
it makes me soft downstairs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:24, archived)
+ like Alan Bates and Oliver Reed in 'Women in Love'

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:25, archived)
Reed had a wank just before they filmed that scene so that his wanger would look bigger.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:26, archived)
That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Reed's wanger to dispute it.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:34, archived)
So you're a cock expert eh?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:35, archived)
I said I didn't know enough to dispute it.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:36, archived)
^ cock expert

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:37, archived)
I had to read Women in Love when I studied Modernism.
Fucking hell, Lawrence was a tedious windbag of an author. Like Grry but pre-internet.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:44, archived)
"up we go"
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/c8/bb/cf/c8bbcf1f45d26008d08ac4d3c536a34c.jpg
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:28, archived)
Cheers, yeah?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:24, archived)
Alright Cheers

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:27, archived)
cheers indeed

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:39, archived)
You are a knob
But I'm not 100% sure you have a knob
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:25, archived)
Not that not having a knob is a bad thing
Some of my best mates don't have knobs
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:26, archived)
U don't have ne m8s lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:28, archived)
The loneliness of being a serial killer

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:37, archived)
Chill with the negative vibes, man

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:38, archived)
No m8 u r teh knob

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:27, archived)
PLOT TWIST!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:33, archived)
Lets fuck

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:28, archived)
I'll observe and make notes

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:29, archived)
I'll make sandwiches

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:30, archived)

notes high-pitched shrieks
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:31, archived)
*chuckle*

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:31, archived)
please don't upset me online

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:32, archived)
Alright psychochomp, nice to have you back

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:38, archived)
archived

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:39, archived)
Harassment.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:40, archived)
STOP DOZERS STOP

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:41, archived)
See you in court m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:43, archived)
Hiya

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:30, archived)
To the rhythm of the honky tuck, stick a red nose on your cuck

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:52, archived)
Done, now what?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:54, archived)
Snapchat

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:58, archived)
my pulse is a general 50-55 bpm
so I'm a laid-back, mellow, zen-type of fellow
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:42, archived)
fuck off dozers

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:52, archived)
kill yourself

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:55, archived)
Then I shall be fucked off in a positive way

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:57, archived)
fuck off dozers
dozers fuck off
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:14, archived)
to the tune of hang on sloopy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 13:15, archived)
ZE VEEKEND IST HIER
How frickin' cool is that? Anything noteworthy in the ol' diary?

I will probably spend the whole weekend imagining items of office furniture having sex with each other, then admitting this on the internet.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:23, archived)
Yer, as it happens.
This weekend's going to be the largest flea market in Europe and this year they've banned street hawkers, so officially it's going to be just private individuals selling the contents of their attics.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:26, archived)
Do you get a lot of WWII stuff that these things?
Asking for a friend
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:29, archived)
The ones in Berlin about 8 years ago were a treasure trove of old communist stuff
And that is probably the dregs after all the cool stuff was gone
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:32, archived)
Illegal to buy and sell Nazi stuff in Germany though eh

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:35, archived)
Wasn't there for that
The Commie stuff was superb
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:43, archived)
Polish ones are a bit more sordid
imgur.com/a/TKoS4
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:36, archived)
Lol, one careful owner.
I hope you get a discount if you buy the job lot.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:38, archived)
only interested if it includes the tennis racket

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:39, archived)
She's probably used that as well.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:51, archived)
If you're going to buy used sex toys
you might as well go the whole hog and pick them up off the floor. As my old dad used to say.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:38, archived)
There's a british plug on that vac.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:12, archived)
it's not enough that they steal our jobs... etc

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:20, archived)
I've honestly no idea m8.
There is an area of the town just on the waterfront that's devoted to serious antiques dealers but I've never been into collecting any of that stuff so I rarely go down there. I do remember from last time that you can buy enough horse brasses and farm implements to melt them down and cast a two-storey-high statue of Kim Jong-Un.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:33, archived)
I am told that the markets of northern Italy are chock full of war stuff
Fortunately for my wife our honeymoon is in the south
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
Seriously regret not buying those nazi coins in Rome
never seen any others in my travels.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:35, archived)
I used to have quite a few as a lad
To my shame I had a large coin collection
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:36, archived)
Nothing wrong with that
I always go through the coins if I see them on a market stall. Saw one in Paris that had an old 10p piece for a euro.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:37, archived)
I've got some Roman coins inc one showing the emperor Hadrian
/nerd
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:43, archived)
^ Hadrian Mole

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:50, archived)
I read this in the style of 'Deakus'

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:54, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S05E11/gOjW0iFMyPAzP2_qR1kUtivyU9s=.gif
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:48, archived)
well played

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:49, archived)
Doubt they're legal tender anywhere.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:42, archived)
you can cash them in if the Reichstag ever has a fire sale

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:45, archived)
i bet you did nazi that coming

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:20, archived)


(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:24, archived)
How many fleas will you buy?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:30, archived)
There's only one for sale, but it's the largest one in Europe

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
Do you reckon it could jump over St Paul's cathedral?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:33, archived)
easy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:35, archived)
I went to one in Barcelona, and saw this
i.imgur.com/rSR1Rsk.jpg

Also managed to buy a cone full of fried squid, so it wasn't all bad
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:33, archived)
Did you empty the cone into the leg and eat the squid from that?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
fuck
I should've done that
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:35, archived)
I was in a car park in Morecambe once
There was some halfwit with a blanket laid out, selling nothing but old crutches. Weird af
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:44, archived)
They were for people going to the dss.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:13, archived)
i get how all the other things are sex toys, but the radio?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:50, archived)
No soap? Radio!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:55, archived)
gonna do something stupid so that my kid's mum calls me an idiot
then moan about it online for sympathy
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:29, archived)
^upset

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:30, archived)
yer, that's why I started a whole new thread about it m8
I'm livid
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
why are you being such a knob today?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:32, archived)
I make a few daft posts, you wade in telling me i need help, start a passive aggressive thread about it
and then call ME a knob. Take a long hard look at yourself, Richard.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
^knob

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:45, archived)
my case rests, your honour.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:45, archived)
i don't think you'll win that court battle. even ignoring all the stuff from today, you definitely are a knob

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:48, archived)
based on what?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:53, archived)

www.b3ta.com/users/searchposts.php?id=35579&board=talk
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:54, archived)
we've already established you're a knob rich, we don't need any more evidence

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
clever: you've switched it around onto me!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:15, archived)
the way you act and conduct yourself on here?
i mean, it could be a character you're portraying i guess but then the question becomes 'why?'
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:58, archived)
give me some examples, I'm keen for the input
I know you and I don't see eye to eye, but you do seem to get very riled up about me for some reason I can't fathom
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:59, archived)
Give it up, manolith isn't going to let you in to his clique.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:05, archived)
I wouldn't expect him to
but if someone's got a genuine issue with me I'd rather hear it outright rather than constant snide comments.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:06, archived)
Constant snide comments are the lifeblood of this forum.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:06, archived)
you are SUCH a bender

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:14, archived)
there's no way for me to answer that without seeming astoundingly petty and going directly against the general MO of this place
i suppose it's just a personal preference thing. i don't think i'm particularly snide about you in particular, either. in broad strokes, it feels like you have a superiority complex and are quick to respond poorly (in my opinion) to perceived attacks. especially with the 'upset' card, as you have here.

it's not that big a deal. i think lots of people are knobs, and i'm sure lots of people think i'm a knob.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:20, archived)
and knobettes

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:21, archived)
AND knobettes, thank you

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:05, archived)
^knob

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:21, archived)
100%

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:36, archived)
Everyone is a knob on the internet
Otherwise it wouldn't be the internet.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:24, archived)
It's strange seeing civilised people use the internet and seeing them seem surprised at how it is.
Imagine if you said in 1998 'I went on the internet and someone told me to kill myself', the answer would probably be 'yes, what did you expect?'.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:29, archived)
^ this.
Maybe the problem is that the likes of us have learned to accept such behaviour as inevitable?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:34, archived)
Yeah, we've been conditioned to tolerate the awfulness.
The thing is complainers will never be happy. If the elders of the internet fucked off into the darkweb and left them to their happy place then they'd follow them and moan when they get told to fuck off.

It's like how when the smoking ban got implemented and smokers drank outside, so pubs put out benches, then all the non smokers went outside and complained people were smoking in them.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:45, archived)
A pub I used to frequent has just been refurb'ed & they've made the back garden no smoking
I was like lol wtf
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:52, archived)
So everyone stands next to the garden and it all wafts in anyway. Progress.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:56, archived)
Oh my god it's full of knobs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:48, archived)
If only Sub Sub had died the day after releasing that record
I fucking love that tune
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:59, archived)
love space face

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:16, archived)
On the social events site of which I'm a member,
everyone is perfectly normal and friendly and polite on the events pages, but as soon as they set foot on the forum and discussion pages, they instantly become a frothing, illiterate moron. It's bewildering.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:08, archived)
What's "social events" a euphemism for?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:14, archived)
incest

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:18, archived)
It's just a website where you can organise things like going to the pub or a concert
if you don't want to be a Norman No-Mates and go by yourself.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:20, archived)
that's the knobbiest thing you've said all day

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:25, archived)
when are they going to add the MO to the FAQ? that's what I want to know

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:29, archived)
you'd have to ask the magic donkey

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:04, archived)
wait, today?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
How many more must you bully off the board, you monster?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:37, archived)
6

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:45, archived)
Isn't that everyone?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:49, archived)
It's everyone are we led it off the board.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:53, archived)
That swype keyboard was a waste of 78p.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:57, archived)
swiftkey m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:14, archived)
On it, now.
Vast improvement, so ta for the recommendation.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:16, archived)
you're welcome.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:21, archived)
Wales v Austria tomorrow night at 7:45
But starting the drinking at 1pm, so the chances of remembering the game are slim to none.

Also, LCD Soundsystem listening.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:30, archived)
can't say I've ever heard any of their records, or that this bothers me very much tbh

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:31, archived)
Well Wales v Austria are a very mainstream band
I'd expect you to avoid them.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:33, archived)
I hear they're like a cross between Rammstein and the Stereophonics

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
Scissor Sisters crossed with Goldie Lookin' Chain

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:43, archived)
'take your mama out for some soap bar'

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:49, archived)
But seriously
I'm addicted to this track.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:34, archived)
I managed a minute and half

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:38, archived)
Is that including foreplay?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:42, archived)
I just dived right in
didn't even spit
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:44, archived)
Could've at least given it a plumbers wipe.
`
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:14, archived)
it wouldn't have changed anything

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:18, archived)
I'm going to do loads of wees AND poos
weeeeeeee
poooooooo
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:39, archived)
thats more like one big wee rather than lots of wees though
Unless you're doing kegel exercises to break it up into many little splashes
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:41, archived)
weeeeeeeeeeee

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:48, archived)
pooooooooooo

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:48, archived)
like a lavatorial ghost

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:50, archived)
a pootergeist, if you will

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:52, archived)
or a banshwee

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:53, archived)
or a spirishit

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:52, archived)
Caspoo the friendly ghost

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:55, archived)
church and other church related activities

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
exorcisms?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:59, archived)
out of my remit

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:22, archived)

re hel
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:34, archived)
natch

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:35, archived)
going to listen to black metal and burn down some churches
then I might do some scary make up on my face
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:36, archived)
haram

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:38, archived)
I have taken the afternoon off work
I will go home, grab my bag and then make my way down to Sevenoaks to rendevouz with my partner and the car to drive back to Wales.

There we will drink wine with my parents and my sister and try to keep up with her 3 and 5 year old boys that seem to be fueled by amphetamines and uranium.

I've also hired a carpet cleaner from HSS to see what it does to the 'rents carpets, but mainly to get the smell of stale fags out my mum's new car. The previous owner not only smoked but got blim burns in the back seats. Can't complain, they got it for £500 so well done them.

Wine. Lots of lovely wine.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:47, archived)
*afternoon off fives*

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 11:51, archived)
When I went out to lunch just now,
two blokes from the office behind mine were squaring up to each other in the car park, fists raised and everything, with everyone else from their office standing in a half-circle and watching them.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:18, archived)
wow!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 12:20, archived)
morning

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:28, archived)
Hello m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:35, archived)
I'm barely alive right now

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:39, archived)
I'm feeling good.
Except the bike seems to have lost some air in the rear tire so riding in was a bit wobbly.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:44, archived)
Just take it off road
those ditches and lay-bys are much under used, in my opinion
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:46, archived)
I might kill myself

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:09, archived)
no don't
so much to live for, etc
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:20, archived)
'member 'The Presidents of the United States of America'?
They were fucking abysmal.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:40, archived)
that is so uncres

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:29, archived)
no

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:49, archived)
^lingered last in line for brains

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:49, archived)
HEY GUY'S LOOK OVER HERE - IT'S MANOLITH!!!!!!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:51, archived)

hi rich, can you keep it down please?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:57, archived)
I will survive in my Mach 5! YEAH YEAH YEAH!
That was an alright song.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:43, archived)
M'orning

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:51, archived)
*tips horizon*

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:29, archived)
Sunshine plays a major part in the daytime, peace to mankind, Grry carry a black 9, nilla

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 7:54, archived)
this sounds like the sort of shit rappers come up with to try and sound hard

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
A black 9" nilla?
in a backpack?
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:48, archived)
Yes.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:50, archived)
happy Veteran's Day

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:03, archived)
Alright dribble

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:04, archived)
$$

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:17, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:19, archived)
curing our cats and dogs since beasts were domesticated

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
morning
I just tried to reverse the car into the drive while the other car was still in it, hmmmnnngggghhhh
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:09, archived)
did they touch?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
mongy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:16, archived)
not funny any more m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
it's big of you to admit it, well done

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:38, archived)
rather a has-been than a never-was m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:48, archived)
I can understand that

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:49, archived)
Hello, you lovely, lovely people.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:21, archived)
fuck off michael stipe

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:31, archived)
I cannot understand how anyone could actually enjoy the sound of that man's singing voice
He *was* good in 'Gremlins' though
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:39, archived)
REM are my favourite musical act.
I don't doubt that this knowledge will delight you.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:53, archived)
You really are the biggest knobber in world history aren't you m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:01, archived)
I was placed here to test you, Rich.
The Almighty finds you wanting.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:02, archived)

t k
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:41, archived)
^

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:01, archived)
Morning.
There was a bloke at the bus stop this morning wearing a full-length bright orange leather trenchcoat. It was like The Matrix, sponsored by Fanta.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:24, archived)
maybe he bleached it and it went that colour just like so many people's haircuts in the 90s

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:31, archived)
SuperMatt, Donald Trump edition

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:40, archived)
lol

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:47, archived)
that was me m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:55, archived)
Good moomin

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:35, archived)
alright Sniff

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:37, archived)
hello forum chums

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:50, archived)
hello you

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:51, archived)
I'm not keen on this 'keep clicking the image until all of them have gone' thing

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:03, archived)
you should try being more trustworthy then

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
this constant testing is causing me to wonder if I am really a robot after all

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:14, archived)

tangles, yesterday
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:35, archived)
wanker

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:51, archived)
actually that's true

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:03, archived)
Ian.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:53, archived)
Tom.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:04, archived)
yeah buoy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:57, archived)

youtu.be/jfGPQIDxA1A
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
It's amazing he's still alive

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:08, archived)
i have a headache

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:51, archived)
maybe your fedora is too small?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:52, archived)
that's because i wear it on the end of my penus

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 8:58, archived)
damn

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:04, archived)
that's right

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
Is that to prevent faecal leakage?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:49, archived)
i'll never tell!

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:57, archived)
are you sick, or have you over-indulged?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:09, archived)
the former

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:13, archived)

i.imgur.com/w4wUNTI.png
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:29, archived)
not the most glamorous way to go but i'll take it

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:41, archived)
Morning
Run out of caster sugar so my coffee has palm sugar in it.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:04, archived)
I'm imagining two office chairs having sex doggy style
so the wheel base of one is tilted up and the wheels are spinning and the receiver is moaning "oh yeah, gimme some of that castor sugar".
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:08, archived)
are you?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:11, archived)
well, I was
but it was only a fleeting image that took far longer to describe than to actually imagine.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:18, archived)
I think it might do you some good to occasionally get outside and talk to real people not in your family face to face

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:12, archived)
^^^

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:14, archived)
why?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:17, archived)
why?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:14, archived)
because it's easier to imagine than two trolleys having sex
because they just slide into each other with no foreplay
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:15, archived)
Reading this makes me feel normal

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:20, archived)
get help

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:47, archived)
so I can be as dull as you? no ta

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:09, archived)
you're posting some right shit today m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:15, archived)
we can go back to same tedium of food and music and loldrugs as soon as you start a new thread

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:21, archived)
hello

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:11, archived)
m'laddy

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:12, archived)
how's them new gnashers?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:15, archived)
very good, thank you
Speaking and eating is now causing fewer issues than before.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:18, archived)
do you still have that cute lisp?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:21, archived)
I have to put it on

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:51, archived)
alright 'Big L'
amusing myself and myself alone here
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:55, archived)
wanking?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:56, archived)

www.imdb.com/name/nm8916761/
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:16, archived)
FFS.
It will never cease to amaze me how one phone call can fuck up your morning. Apparently some people can fuck things up on a daily basis and it doesn't matter, but if you put one single foot wrong then it's the end of the world.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:12, archived)
what have you fucked up now, spazzy?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:14, archived)
Underquoted a client by €70,
which is really going to impact the lives of my two bosses, one of whom's just come back from a fortnight's holiday in Germany and the other of whom has just gone on holiday to Canada for three weeks.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:17, archived)
don't know how that could have happened
b3ta.com/talk/8111132
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:26, archived)
lol
It's a mystery to me, m8.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:28, archived)
how many did you kill?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:15, archived)
Not enough, in my opinion.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:16, archived)
the trouble with being good at your job
is that the moment you're not, all hell breaks loose because the house of cards that everyone else's roles are built upon all comes crashing down.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:16, archived)
This is part of the problem.
I'm excellent at my job; it's when I have to start doing other people's jobs (in which I have virtually no experience) that things feck up.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:19, archived)
what a load of shit

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:34, archived)
he should stick to the office chair slash fiction, really

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:37, archived)
not sure how slashfic would work
I suppose they'd just tape knives to their handles and spin round and round like a whirlwind of slicey death.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:43, archived)

he'
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:47, archived)
the artist clearly needs to get outside and interact with real people

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:53, archived)
ffs

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:13, archived)
I guess you'll never know

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:44, archived)
Morning
The new LCD Soundsystem album doesn't disappoint. Hurrah.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:46, archived)
Friday, yeah?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:49, archived)
*checks notes*
It seems so.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:50, archived)
Yeah, yeah?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:55, archived)
Yeah, yeah, yeah?

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:57, archived)
She loves you.

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:57, archived)
I ordered a full wiring kit for one of my guitars
and the .22uf capacitor is missing. I have never been so furious, and disappointed. And aroused.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:58, archived)
squart on a bee's knob

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 9:58, archived)
and that's tricky, because their cocks are fucking miniscule

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:00, archived)
you're telling me m8

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:02, archived)
is there still a maplins on Fratton Road? They'd have one

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:06, archived)
No
and the one on Kingston Road's gone too. There are other places, but I'm not sure I have the time.
Also, I might already have one in a box somewhere. BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPAL.
(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 10:27, archived)
Listen to this, it's too good to miss
Da-da, da-da, da da *farts*
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:31, archived)
hi whigfield

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:44, archived)
Lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 22:30, archived)
I'm serious as cancer when I say dinner is a dansak.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 22:37, archived)
alright 'Lata Mangeshkar'

(, Fri 1 Sep 2017, 1:03, archived)
A bit more choke and she would've started

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 22:57, archived)
:D
"Someone's been tinkering with Herbie"
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 23:28, archived)
AYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Hullo chap's, it's me, T3h F0nz, AMA!

Ahahah - PSYCH! It's actually a very bored Richard. What a'gwan?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:52, archived)
Just saw this picture on the BBC website and for a second I thought it was extremely rude
ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/D44F/production/_97615345_hog2.jpg

From

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41110002
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:04, archived)
lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:17, archived)
I hope the glittery bit is the pommel of the tiny sword he's wearing

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:54, archived)
Tiny? That thing must be about 3 feet long

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:54, archived)
bestiality! MODS!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:23, archived)
Lol, excellent

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:25, archived)
Off for a quiet pint on my way home.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:05, archived)
^lonely loos'er

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:17, archived)
Having a solo pint is one of life's simplest pleasures m8.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:31, archived)
U r fucking simple m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:31, archived)
You still smarting about your ex correctly describing you as an idiot in front of your daughter?
There's no need to take it out on me.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:36, archived)
well really

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:40, archived)
This campaign of bullying is verging on harassment.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
shove it, wanker

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
Fuck all, Richie

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:07, archived)
Fuck all, Richie.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:07, archived)
ANDREW MARR!!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:08, archived)
Fuck all, Richie..

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:11, archived)
If anything, this Swype keyboard is worse than the stock android option.
Really unresponsive.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:18, archived)
yup, the problem is deffo the keyboard m8
*does over-exaggerated 'spastic' gesture*
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:33, archived)
Calm down, Joey.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:24, archived)
I have his autobiography

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:30, archived)
I used to have it as well.
My mum probably kept it.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 19:01, archived)
I was 3 when he carked it, and have only ever heard of him through b3ta.
This seems oddly insensitive: colourswheelchair.com/spazz/
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:28, archived)
Buy it a pizza and it might start behaving

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:41, archived)
lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
It's a click from me!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:43, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8021001
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 19:15, archived)
Swiftkey is alright.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:34, archived)
Lionel, Richie

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:18, archived)
Richie soisse

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:18, archived)
Zelda and booze, innit?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:25, archived)
I love Terrahawks too m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:32, archived)
I'm back in cv1 waiting for the missus in the pub
Had a bit of a snooze on the train
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:27, archived)
None of the weed blokes I know are around, wankers

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:32, archived)
That's rubbish, I'm on the tiny score bags of Asian estate bud as per usual
All I want is half a bar of clean hash, ideally a blond. That would do me very nicely for fucking ages.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:35, archived)
Same, they are dropping like flies round here, I was flush of deals 6 months ago

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:39, archived)
I'll shout if I get anything nice

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
For a while we were getting that in professionally printed green tea sachets.
I was supposed to be getting tonight but it's been delayed until tomorrow now.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:25, archived)
And these new trainers hurt my feet

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:35, archived)
Is this the Converse?
I always struggle with them, they're too narrow for my whopping great plates
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:40, archived)
mine were too small, had to send the buggers back

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
racist

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:43, archived)
also, can confirm that natural/egret is in fact a sort of browny-burgundy colour

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
racist af

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:49, archived)
can you believe this guy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:50, archived)
nothing natural about these egret cunts

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:51, archived)
I got a size up as converse are small

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:46, archived)
no wonder they were flogging them off cheap
factory rejects probably
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:50, archived)
racist

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:48, archived)
Yeah , right size but the soles are shit , bollocks are they skater shoes

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
Have you seen the Adidas skate shoes? The Busenitz Pros are fucking excellent.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:47, archived)
your nan's a pro and she's fucking excellent m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:50, archived)
Correct.
Your nan is a necro ho m8, Savile is her pimp lol
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:52, archived)
'lol'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:52, archived)
Top kek

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:53, archived)
it's great to have dozer back isn't it

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:55, archived)
No.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:56, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8111240
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:02, archived)
Not skater shoes , tried them, shit , grip tape rips them to bits

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:21, archived)
I really rate them. Decent support, good flick, they look good. Just avoid the suede ones.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:28, archived)
I cooked my last q up into cannabutter on Sunday
All the recipes I read online advised throwing away the leftover 'erb, but I hate to see waste so I ate it.
Spent the next few hours tripping my tits off, utterly incapable of walking or talking, and wasn't properly straight again until Tuesday.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:40, archived)
better than throwing out though right?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:41, archived)
fuck yeah
my only regret is that I didn't split it into four more tolerable doses
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:43, archived)
lesson learnt
eating dope does not agree with me, for difficulty of dosage reasons
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
yeah it's not really suited to the 'fuck it I'll have the lot' mindset

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:53, archived)
Lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
I've got a load of cannaoil caps in my freezer that I keep forgetting about.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 21:26, archived)
Bumhole, m8
Just bumhole
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:39, archived)
erry day

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:40, archived)
Richmal Crompton'zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:40, archived)
lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:42, archived)
lmao

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
Haha

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:50, archived)
Oh!
Hahaha
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:54, archived)
pfft!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:06, archived)
I hope you top yourself after this thread

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:53, archived)
that's not very nice is it

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 17:55, archived)
Ice magic on the bellend, grrr will nyomy it off

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 18:22, archived)
Okay, I've got to design something with Illustrator. I've never used it before. How hard can it be?
What did you manage to get to work without any clue whatsoever by randomly clicking things for a while?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:01, archived)
depends how complex the design is

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)
Just gotta get some text on a feather banner
I'm thinking of just going back to InDesign, I know what some of the buttons on that do
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
Ahhhhh
InDesign - that's the ticket.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)
feather boa more like

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:55, archived)
it's a swastika

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)
That's really not what I meant to design
Must be using adobe KKK instead of CC
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:23, archived)
Apart from everything else
it's really difficult to load swatches as it keeps deleting the colours.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:26, archived)
and the sunshine band

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:56, archived)
found a monkey with tits

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
I fathered three children, that way.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
I fathered three children, that way ->

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
what, behind my monitor?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:15, archived)
It's warm, what?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:16, archived)
i wondered how my hard drive dock kept getting unplugged
now i regret having the cleaner fired
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:27, archived)
she was stealing from you

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:34, archived)
fair's fair, i was stealing from her

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:59, archived)
there's a table full of scousers next to me outside this pub
I'm holding onto my bag tightly and keep checking my wallet
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:06, archived)
I wonder why they are not at work...oh hahahaha

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:37, archived)
my oh my

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:34, archived)
i got quite good with teh tattyshop , even made gifs, probably couldn't now

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
what version?
I learnt on CS2, it's all cloud bollocks now
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
alright cloud bollocks

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
The Final Fantasy franchise has lost its way.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:27, archived)
I started on 7, gave up on cs3 I think

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
:'(
imgur.com/a/vNyS0
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:28, archived)
hahaha

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:52, archived)
that's been my approach to everything I've ever done
Now I'm a father.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
I've also got a chinese factory pestering me to make arduino videos for them

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:18, archived)
Glllmachine

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
pff

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:16, archived)
even the indentured servant employees refused to do it, huh?
i guess you're the next best thing
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:26, archived)
i was an indentured apprentice, don't get those anymore

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:30, archived)
probably because of your fear of dentists

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)
Shittest talkingheads album

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:43, archived)
Is this about teeth?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)
nah it's a contract

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
the washing machine

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:22, archived)
What the fuck do those symbols mean!?
wibbly dots and a tshirt? WTF?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:32, archived)
man, you're an idiot
you need that setting for getting wibbly dots off your t-shirts
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:37, archived)
But it's EITHER OR
why only wibbley dots or only a tshirt? I have to wash my clothes twice, don't get me started on the chocolate mini roll symbol or the one that has a single glove on it.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:02, archived)
that's michael jackson mode. steer well clear

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:12, archived)
Add moonlight, sunshine, put it on a low temperature and slow sping - fuck everything's shunk....
I know just what's at fault in this situation.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:23, archived)
glove one is no hand wash

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
some are for no fast colours
most are temperature settings or telling you if you can hand wash or not
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S09E15/kNGfvAXd7OnB_6UyTV_xNG4Rf3A=.gif
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:50, archived)
I'm a software developer, it's literally my job.
I used to think other people above me had more of a clue, but I now realise they're winging it as well.

It's a wonder anything works at all really.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:27, archived)
I've just done exactly that with our in-house accounting software.
Getting it to generate a quote is the most counterintuitive thing EVAR; you just have to take the figures involved and try sticking them in every possible text box until it actually generates a total.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:29, archived)
It could cut a diamond

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:46, archived)
/talk

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:59, archived)
you can randomly click my things, any day

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:00, archived)
bit bent

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:03, archived)
I randomly clicked manolith's things and now I have him on ignore

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:04, archived)
probably for the best

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:09, archived)
playing hard to get eh?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:12, archived)
Yup, best just to give up with Illustrator - that's clearly for teh drawers and arters
I'm stickin to InDesign where I can blob things on top of each other
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:12, archived)
One of our clients is switching to InDesign soon, apparently.
Is it a pain to learn or is it pretty easy?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:18, archived)
If I can do it...
is the straight answer. It does make sense and it's very powerful, but like anything that has that much control the terminology and flow will take a lot of getting used to. If I used it regularly I can imagine becoming very good friend with it, as it is I'm on nodding terms.

What sort of stuff are you going to be working on?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)
Believe it or not, knitting templates.
The client has insisted on using C-Design up till now, which is at least fifteen years old and is unbelievably clunky and user-hostile when you're trying to extract and reinsert text.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:25, archived)
Yeah, once you're used to it you'll be a happy chappy (or ladychap)
Just do your homework on getting master pages and page structure right in the first instance. I only do single documents - posters, flyers etc. If you've done a load of work and then the flow wasn't set up properly you'll spend ages resolving it, and the swatches are neat.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)
Surely there's probably some sort of automation to that sort of thing?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:51, archived)
why don't you get someone who knows what they are doing to do it

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:25, archived)
Don't do enough print stuff to justify paying a graphic designer
if it wasn't me doing it in InDesign it would be someone else with MS Word
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:10, archived)
Your nan

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:39, archived)
I'll do it, gaz IM me
£50/hr plus petrol money
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 15:46, archived)
If it were my money - yes
but we have approved suppliers etc. I'd have to use one of them, and get quotes and stuff. Transparency, you see
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:16, archived)
Pivot tables in excel
Practically learnt how to use them in a test exercise for a job. Never needed them since
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:06, archived)
I had to master excel for a module on my degree
forgotten all of it now
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:09, archived)
One day this information could save your life
If you are held hostage by computer illiterate terrorists that need a spreadsheet done for them.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:26, archived)
I am pretty good with SQL

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:41, archived)
I learnt pivot tables on the first module or so of a Microsoft Office course I took as part of a course on installing and maintaining networks.
Given that office isn't really relevant to that subject, I got bored, and quit the course. And now I do pivot tables all day, every day.

There's a moral to this story, but I don't want to know what it is.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 16:35, archived)
/talk?
*checks url*


/talk.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:15, archived)
/willy?
*checks contents*


/willy.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:23, archived)
by 'contents', you mean poo right?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:45, archived)
yes :(

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
Poorethra

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
Pooranus

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:55, archived)
Everyone is too busy refreshing transfer deadline pages to be here
Obv
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:26, archived)
RIP alexis sanchez

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:27, archived)
Terrible way to die
Choking on yer ego.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:29, archived)
wenger will sell everyone by midnight then burn the stadium down
Sky News exclusive
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
It must be true
It was sent to Jim White's other-other-other-phone
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)

flashbak.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/letraset6.jpg
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:29, archived)
I had a massive nostalgia pang when I saw these
Fucking hell my brother and I used to love the old Letraset transfers.

'member?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:30, archived)
strikey-g wank
/ac
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:40, archived)
'the old wank transfers'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)
#infest

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
Ra dada dada

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:02, archived)
I was looking at the records in oxfam earlier. Some pair of hiphop lasses picture discs hip hop girls or something for £2.50
Couldn't be arsed though.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:52, archived)
another classic gormo story

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:58, archived)
that post's not for you. Pearls before swine, etc.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:53, archived)
I was looking at those yesterday
after reading a massive article about sisters of mercy.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)
I read a massive article on the Sisters of Mercy a few weeks ago, bet it was the same one
Very good, I thought, if so
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
The Quietus one about their golden year of 82-83?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
that's the one
'Exhaustive' puts it mildly, but illuminating I thought. Very easy to forget that even 'legendary' bands were all at one point just some kids pissing about and trying to get somewhere.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:50, archived)
and also what you can produce just by dicking about with stuff you don't understand
a la Eldritch and a mixing desk
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)
I'd like a second opinion.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:27, archived)

pi
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:28, archived)
They've all gone, that's shallot

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)
Bet you're in a pickle now

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
OK:
I think you're a penis.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:30, archived)
Freud would have a field day with your obsessions.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:32, archived)
Freud would have a field day with John Sessions

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:32, archived)
Thanks to the behaviour of Clement, much classic Just A Minute is going to be locked in the BBC vaults forever.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:34, archived)
the dirty old bollocks

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:36, archived)
much classic are they led it off the air

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)
Emma Freud would have a field day with your digressions.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:38, archived)
I'd probably allow that.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:40, archived)
she and her husband (that cunt Richard Curtis) are massive customers of mine

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
Still assuming you're some sort of high end gigolo.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:56, archived)
They're too short to be useful, there really doesn't need to be any more than fifty per minute.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)

frinkiac.com/video/S07E19/9cx6pmhDQhohwkRebUAGZV0-6bs=.gif
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:39, archived)
love that episode

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:41, archived)
it's everywhere you wanna be!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:46, archived)
is that the one with 'Dr Zeus' to the tune of 'Rock Me Amadeus'?
With the b-boy monkeys?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)
yeah

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:57, archived)
Dr. Zaius m8, come on

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
I read this in the style of 'CB radio'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:14, archived)
lol
10-4 Galen
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)
Gay Men, more like

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)
yes plz!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:20, archived)
A Frank Grimes clip might have been more appropriate.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:47, archived)
because you're the worst character on here?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
Gil Gunderson is the worst Simpsons character.
They at least had the decency to kill Grimes off after his first appearance.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:58, archived)
STAY OFF THE WEST SIDE!

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:00, archived)
how dare you

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
Wait, are we all characters?
This has blown my mind
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)
Are we not men?
:O
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
No
We are Devo
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:11, archived)
Personally, I am actually 'dancer'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:15, archived)

dan min
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:18, archived)
consider the ladyboarders

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
+of the field: how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin: yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these - the fucken bent cunt
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:34, archived)
You complete me, Richard.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:36, archived)

me cunt
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:42, archived)
he'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:57, archived)

adyboarde ilie
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:34, archived)
b3ta.com/talk is typed in front of a live studio audience

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
previously on b3ta.com/talk...

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:20, archived)
Teh Fail Archive now out as a blu ray box set

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:28, archived)
*guff track*

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:21, archived)
is a little old place where we can shart together

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:27, archived)
^ total eclipse of the shart.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:28, archived)
so no-one told you internet could be this way
*clap clap clap clap*
you're bent, you're shit, you're bald, you're dole and you are gaaay
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:37, archived)
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/8110986

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
i got an orange fanta because i was thirsty, orange fanta does not quench thirst and is not very nice, hth

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:38, archived)
Lemon is better
Raspberry is best
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:45, archived)
i'm not keen on raspberries , and i thought lemon would be a bit tart, might just get a pint in

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:48, archived)
you know what to do

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:49, archived)
pint it is, i found a new weed lad that delivers, few times he was spot on at mine in 10mins, yesterday he's gone missing, these weed dealers are fucking shit, never happen on my watch

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:55, archived)
i have a super reliable guy but he's £10 more expensive per q than the doddery old fella that i buy from

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:58, archived)
Can't you get on Kickstarter, or some such, and start up the Uber of weed delivery?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)
DÜber

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:04, archived)

nice
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)

not keen on raspberries , and i thought lemon would be bit

might just get a pint in
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:49, archived)
*sutin about nazis*

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:49, archived)
i read about coca cola staying in nazi germany the other week, i don't know why, or how , but the nazis didn't invent fanta

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
No, sure, they were "just following orders"
makes me sick
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)
Should drink

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:18, archived)
agreed

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)
he'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:51, archived)
soft drinks never quench thirst for me, they just make me feel a bit bleaurgh from all the sugar and gas
too early for a pint?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
i try not to start drinking till after 5 in the week, but today i will make an exception

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:57, archived)
looks like my meeting is going to be finishing early so I'll be in the pub from 2.30 killing time until my train

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:34, archived)
what station?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:35, archived)
Euston

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)
ewww, not much round there, think there is a spoons in the station tho, little pub wise i'm not sure of that area, used to be a nice pub just down eversholt st, remember watching the ashes there a few years back

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)
Bree louise is my usual go to

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 14:33, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:47, archived)
I doubt anyone will top this thread today

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:53, archived)
no-one ever tries
there's only 3 or 4 people who start threads nowadays
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 12:56, archived)
i keep waiting for the day that we don't have enough posters in a week to fill up the chart
www.b3ta.com/board_stats/talkboard-users.html
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:09, archived)
wow
'nightcrawlers' is quiet these days
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)
Woo, bronze medal, bebbeh.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:14, archived)
here you like t-shirts
www.teepublic.com/t-shirts/rick-and-morty
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)

imgur.com/gallery/Hc0HP
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:25, archived)
Just...wow.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)
The Bill Watterson style design raised a smile.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:53, archived)
cheers
watched the newest ep. it was good!
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 13:59, archived)
mongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:08, archived)
mongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:13, archived)
*nod*

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:27, archived)
my phone's finally done a monster munch
leaving it here as tribute
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:14, archived)
Mongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:19, archived)
cheers

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:27, archived)
mingy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:23, archived)
lol like allo allo

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)
mongy all

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:25, archived)
I am the alpha and the omongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:28, archived)
my name is ozymongdius, king of kings
look upon my works, ye mighty and... dunno
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:15, archived)
Guyrim

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:46, archived)
Alright

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:54, archived)
yer you?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:58, archived)
guybrush

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:57, archived)
threepwood

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 7:59, archived)
Artood

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)
Antonin?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:32, archived)
in the middle of arstrood

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
mongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:07, archived)
sweet as

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)
Hey hey, we're the mongys.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:10, archived)
accusations of mongying around are entirely without merit

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:11, archived)
I'm afraid I'm too busy monging
to put anybody down
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:13, archived)
Can’t believe it’s been 20 years since that slag was smashed into the tunnel it still freaks my nut out to this day.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:13, archived)
Proof that getting pregnant with a Muslim's baby really pisses off the lizard people, eh?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:18, archived)
If only James Bond had stepped in
we'd have Di another day
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:19, archived)


(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)
puns are the lifeblood of b3ta

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)
(Dr) No m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)
vg

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
Gufffinger by Surely Assey
that's not really good - sry, just woke up
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)
go back to bed m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:17, archived)

go come
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)
Ah, thanks
You've reminded me that it's my mates birthday
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
*shakes head*
my birthday is in october, man. come on
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:09, archived)
Munging

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:31, archived)
disgusting

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:36, archived)
good mongy grrrmachine
good mongy everyone
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:52, archived)
I think this mongy is off to a good start

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
Clunk, click
every trip.

Morning to everyone who is smart enough to operate a seatbelt.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:57, archived)
Fuck off, Savile.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 8:58, archived)
I bet he diddled with her cold, royal corpse

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:11, archived)
I reckon that's entirely possible

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:04, archived)
Now, uncle Jimmy's going to put this pipe up here
and how's about that then...

A royal flush!
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:20, archived)
christ

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)
so, none of you stupid bike wankers then

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:04, archived)
I wear a rucksack
which gives me a sense of safety and security when I do up the buckle
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:10, archived)
'Up the buckle'

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)

rucksack bumbag
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY YOOOOUUUUUUU GUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSS

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:00, archived)
I imagined you more like his mum tbh

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:05, archived)
*throws from the train*

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:17, archived)
Cracking bit of filly

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:19, archived)

f b

giz a dab m8
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
I'm on my way to London
I hear the streets are paved with gold
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:18, archived)
and spunk

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:20, archived)
and skiddy pants

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:38, archived)
If you mean discarded Ferrero Rocher wrappers, then sure.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:20, archived)
can confirm

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:30, archived)

paved liberally doused +nescafe
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:31, archived)
I had a client who served the rankest instant coffee imaginable
even the smell was enough to make you gag, but she'd brew a whole pot for our weekly meeting without fail and I was too polite to tell her how rancid a drink it was.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
A pot for instant coffee?
I have never known anyone to do that.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:37, archived)
it's Poles moving from the villages to the capital and putting on airs
You could refilm Keeping Up Appearances in every tower block here.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:46, archived)
It's impressive quite how rank some instant coffee can be.
You'd think that roasting beans and freeze-drying them would be pretty difficult to feck up, but they still manage to make it taste like they've scraped the surface layer off their car's tyres and boiled it with their socks for half an hour.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:41, archived)
Jacob's Kronat Gold :(((

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:45, archived)
Not familiar with that.
Based on your ringing endorsement, I'm willing to let things stay that way.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)
This morning's bike twat of the day award goes to the cunt on the Brompton
dressed all in tight black lycra, with a black motorbike helmet and blackened glass visor blasting The Prodigy's Voodoo People from a Bluetooth speaker. From the way he was riding I think he believed he was on a MotoGP vehicle.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:33, archived)
that was me m8

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:34, archived)
Good tune
shit look, awful riding.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:44, archived)

?
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:53, archived)
cor

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:59, archived)
she's Polish
other pics of her if you want to risk clicking that at work (no nudes)
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:10, archived)
That's a very tastefully-done modelling website.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:16, archived)
Are you stalking this unfortunate woman?

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:19, archived)
I just remember the reddit thread and that's where all the links come from
it's not often semi-attractive Poles get plastered all over the internet
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:31, archived)
Can't work out if there's a strikey-g in this.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:34, archived)

Can't work out if there's a strikey-g in this. i blow goats lol
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:09, archived)
lol

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:13, archived)
needs fewer mole

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
She could take a joyride on my batpod, anytime.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
Well those ears are just going to ruin the aerodynamics

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
As kids, a mate and I were briefly obsessed with mounting a boombox on a bicycle.
After much faffing about with bungee cords, it was a relief when we finally abandoned the idea.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:55, archived)
There is a refugee from the 90s rave scene
who frequently goes along Torrington Place on his disco bike blasting out glow-stick anthems.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
Hardly practicalj
dta0yqvfnusiq.cloudfront.net/lovelandmuseumgallery/2015/09/Joe-blog-1-214x300.jpg
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)
Hey

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:51, archived)
mongy

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:54, archived)
you're like the beetlejuice of b3ta now

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 9:57, archived)
b3taljuice

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:05, archived)
I said mongychops, mongychops, mongychops
but nothing happened.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:07, archived)
I can't really remember the plot to Candyman, but probably that.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:08, archived)
That was pretty good, if memory serves.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)
Yes
It had all the ingredients of a terrible film, but for some reason it worked. And they can put that on the poster, if they like.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:28, archived)
Everything's better with Tony Todd.

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:32, archived)
good mongy
aha ha, great Thursday!
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:03, archived)
it's off to a cracking start

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:11, archived)
I doubt anyone will top this thread today

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)
+ themselves over

(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 10:30, archived)
shows what you know!
*suicides*
(, Thu 31 Aug 2017, 11:10, archived)
Wankers

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:01, archived)
Not exactly a classic day on beater today eh

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:02, archived)
Yeah, poo chat never really took off.
Potato chat was great though.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:44, archived)
the glumchums didn't like it much

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 18:31, archived)
Hi Grry, I think you might like this.
twitter.com/mattbrailsford/status/901775822218039296
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:51, archived)
I'm not Grrry
But I like that
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 20:05, archived)
That's ace, that is.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 22:07, archived)
Soz m8, been busy

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:18, archived)
yes?
I passed my practical. So I'm a bit chuffed.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:19, archived)
Lol ginger

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:20, archived)
All finished?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:22, archived)
Yes

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:22, archived)
Congratulations

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:23, archived)
thanks.
Got to go negotiate my payrise tomorrow.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:24, archived)
Go in high

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:26, archived)
Good idea, I've got some squidgy black somewhere.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:33, archived)
Red seal? Ain't rolled a worm in yonks

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:47, archived)
Pakistani Red Seal indeed.
One of the old boys who used to work at the Nelson gave it to me. I hadn't spoken to him since i got out of pubs, so it was nice to catch up.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:58, archived)
Yeah, but I'm not sure.
imgur.com/a/cQYve
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 21:31, archived)
Looks alright to me , plenty of straps out there , maybe try a rubber

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 23:10, archived)
Yeah, it's warming on me.
I need a longer strap though, because of the way it folds back on itself I had to add an extra hole to that just to get it on.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 23:11, archived)
You must have a big wrist, mine are slim

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 23:14, archived)
And that is half way up you arm, Sean as bond in his big crown sub
cdn.gearpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Icon-Nato-Strap-Gear-Patrol-Ambiance-3.jpg
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 23:17, archived)
My wrists are tiny, it's just the way it doubles back

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 23:23, archived)
Isn't all wanking practical?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:13, archived)
and wankettes

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 17:26, archived)
and ons

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 18:28, archived)
^ wank show host

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:03, archived)
Wankee

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:11, archived)
Widow T+

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:14, archived)
HE'S BEHIND YOU!

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 19:43, archived)
Blimey, today's dragging on more than Conchita Wurst.
What's a good thing to do with a bag of potatoes, since I bought a bag when I already had a bag?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:59, archived)
make clocks
www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Potato-Clock
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:02, archived)
Alright, GladOS.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/fish-recipes/potato-salad-with-smoked-salmon-and-horseradish-cr-me-fraiche/
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:03, archived)
Job's a good'un.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
It's really good

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:11, archived)
shove them up your chuffer

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)
Maris (Shit)piper

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
hash browns

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)
eat them, you fucking prick
what else are you supposed to do with spuds? Use them as the foundation of a short-lived currency?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)
$pudcoin

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
cut them in half, carve rude images on them
and go on a bansky-inspired stencil rampage around your neighbourhood
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
Cor, I haven't made potato stencils since primary school.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
stick googly eyes and lips onto them and pretend you have some friends round your gaffe for the first time in your entire life

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:05, archived)
I've actually got some googly eyes knocking around at home; we can make this happen.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
Make cocks
https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=potato+cocks
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
Some of those are surprisingly realistic.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
carve them into racehorses and pretend they're like that potoooooooooo joke that's on reddit every fucking week

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:06, archived)
too much effort m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)
taunt Irish people with them

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
Just make a fucking load of really dry roast potatoes and see if the homeless want them.
See if they're really struggling and hungry enough to eat shit roasties. Anyone that turns you down is obviously a scrounging bogger and wants a slap.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
Maybe I should bake them hard enough that they can be used to stone people to death.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
string them up on shoelaces for a pre-conkers warmup match

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:07, archived)
shove them up the exhaust pipes of your hated neighbours' cars

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:08, archived)
Tip them out and wank in the bag

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:09, archived)
It's a string bag; I wouldn't put much stock in its fluid absorption capabilities.
Although I could pretend it was a pair of yellow fishnet tights, I suppose.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)
Take your top off and wear the bag instead
and introduce your Gallic chums to the charms of Rab C Nesbitt
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:19, archived)
As long as I don't have to go the method acting route and knock all my teeth out.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:20, archived)
peel them all, wear their skins, take a selfie
then use the photo to set up a facebook account called King Ed Gein
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:10, archived)
carve them with a curly fry cutter machine
then glue the two ends together, cook them and sell them to hipster twats as Möbius fries for fifteen pounds each.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:12, archived)
You're brimming with ideas today.
Get on Kickstarter while the going's good.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
settle down with one of them and make it an honest potato

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:13, archived)
lost my shit writing this one, tbh

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:13, archived)
This is a Bash St reference

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:26, archived)
It'll be a beautiful marisage

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:28, archived)
Break Grrry's fingers with them so he stops replying to this thread

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:17, archived)
Come now, that would be stifling free speech like some sort of dictator.
Or some sort of DICK TATER, aaahhahhaahaaa.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:20, archived)
this is Thread of the Day m7+2-1

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:47, archived)
I have teeth!
I finally have teeth
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:29, archived)
Did you not previously have teeth?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)
Well, only two missing
Sorry, I deliberately misled you
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:35, archived)
Are you going to go around biting people now?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:43, archived)
As far as I'm concerned, I don't think I have any other choice

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:49, archived)
It's the only socially acceptable way to get your money's worth.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:57, archived)
new dentures grandad?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:31, archived)
Yeah!
Finally got the replacement bridge that I've wanted for the last few years. This has made me very happy indeed.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:35, archived)
That chicken dentistry finally paid off, huh?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:39, archived)
ba-gock

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:41, archived)
String them together with some twine
And then use them as organic arse-beads.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:33, archived)
It's a good job they're new potatoes.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:34, archived)
They'll just be like beans rattling in a tin to some round here

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:37, archived)
Welly, Northumberland Street, etc.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:41, archived)
Shove a few down a big sock
et voilla: potato-cosh
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:57, archived)
Top tip: after a long day's hiking, boil your potatoes in one of your socks for an earthier flavour.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:05, archived)
Top tip: when boiling your spuds in your socks take your feet out first

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:07, archived)
Bodger and badger tribute act

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:13, archived)
Hmm, might have bangers and mash for tea
although it'll more likely be bangers and chips.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:19, archived)
Mash for tea,
bubble for breakfast.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:34, archived)
Pies
cottage pie
shepherd's pie
fish pie
cheese and potato pie
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:21, archived)
Mebbe.
I could make a pie that looked to all intents and purposes like a cottage pie, except when you looked under the potato topping, all there was was more potato. Actually that would be a bit rubbish.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:29, archived)
have a really short game of cricket

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:30, archived)
Freak everyone out by mashing them all
then sit at the dinner table sculpting them into the shape of a mountain with a weird flat top.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:33, archived)
Is it my memory, or was Close Encounters a bit boring?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:36, archived)
The mashed potato scene was exciting
and Geoff Love did a great disco version of the theme song.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 15:55, archived)
Disco sucks!

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 16:33, archived)
Open a Spud'U'Like franchise

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 16:26, archived)
This is definitely true
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPBijvBJFk

What ELSE is definitely true?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
That you, and me, we were always meant to be!!

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)
Pig, you know it's true
Ooh ooh ooh, I love you
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
that you are a gay spaz who likes it up the bum from other gay spazzes

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
inconvenient truth

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:06, archived)
finger nails grow four times faster than toenails, fact

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:59, archived)
Woah now. What?
Have we got a source for this?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:01, archived)
yes

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
Ok good.
I bet this comes up in a pub quiz soon.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:04, archived)
I wonder why that is

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:05, archived)
the general idea is that nail growth is affected by use, so the more the nail gets worn down it compensates by making the nail grow faster, some say it is because the hands are closer to the heart, but those cunts are fucking bent

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:07, archived)
no question

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:12, archived)
It's because hands are closer to the heart.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)
Asian womens vaginas go from east to west

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:13, archived)
which side is the clitoris on?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:17, archived)
The Nazis

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:20, archived)
It's in the middle, like on the Japanese flag.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:24, archived)
the what?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:30, archived)
the American Jewry

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:59, archived)
Sounds like a statement off QI.
It's definitely going to be the braderie this weekend, i.e. time to stock up on old games consoles, vintage furniture and whatever this year's emblematic item is (one year, wooden giraffe sculptures were all the rage).
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:16, archived)
not sure

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:30, archived)
That every man if they don't go bald upstairs, they go bald downstairs

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:41, archived)
I've gone bald on the mezzanine.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:49, archived)
That Richard McBeef is a whiffy bumskull.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 12:54, archived)
being a young conservative is cool
#activateuk
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:02, archived)
it's also a gateway to untapped conservative muff

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:07, archived)
ann widdecombe?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:13, archived)
now we're talking

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
louise mensch y/n

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:19, archived)
N, she looks like Prince William in drag.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:26, archived)
phwoar

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)
N, she has re-invented herself on Twitter as some type of anti-Trump crusader
Although she is not smart enough to actually do proper background checks on the material she is pushing.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:30, archived)
non

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)
Hahaha, fp this now

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:08, archived)
the b3ta blog will bring down theresa may

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)
it's already destroyed donald trump, i can't see him getting re-elected, till 2020

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
all hail HappyToast

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:17, archived)
I'm surprised that no-one has thought of combining Trump with Star Wars yet, imagine how funny that would be

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:22, archived)
ah man!

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:24, archived)
if anyone can ruin something, he can

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:25, archived)
YOU'RE NOT OBEYING THE RULES!
RULES!!! RULES!!! WE MUST HAVE RULES!!!!
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:54, archived)
your my friend so i will front page this, even tho it is fucking shit

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:56, archived)
thanks magic donkey

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 14:04, archived)
This much

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 13:12, archived)
Bum gambler thread
Hidey-ho, flids, Richard speaking.

I've had four red hot curry shits today already and there's still trouble at t'mill...but the thing is, I've got a large tub of leftovers for lunch and it's fucking delicious. So do I eat it anyway at the cost of further turdulence, or keep it til tomorrow?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:26, archived)
In some respects it might be best to get all the arse drama out of the way in one day

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:27, archived)
not sure why I posted this

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:28, archived)
to fill your time between eating and pooing

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
oh yeah

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
Eat it, you big fanny.
Get it all in and out of your system in one go, then eat yoghurt for the rest of the week like some sort of hemp sandal-wearing vegetarian.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:31, archived)
eat, eat, eat
or are you so rich that you can throw away all them leftovers?

children in Eritrea, USA, Honduras, etc. wish they could have some curry and a shit
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:36, archived)
There's no way it's going in the bin, it's fucking lovely

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:37, archived)
You need to decide how being tied to the throne while your bowels disperse themselves over a wide area
fits into your daily schedule. No point chugging down a biryani if you've got a webinar an hour later.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:38, archived)
ouch

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
Have you considered switching to a diet that your digestive system is equipped to handle?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
no

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:40, archived)
it's literally my favourite dish of all time
4.bp.blogspot.com/-MD3Y1tGhvqE/UXXLGsE9D6I/AAAAAAAADVI/rvFMa3lkCSM/s1600/DSC00352.JPG
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:44, archived)
hmmm, parsley
the rest looks like anything a good curry-wala could have on offer
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:47, archived)
that's coriander you bellend
And it's completely different from a standard Bangladeshi curry house dish - for one thing, it's slow-cooked until almost completely dry
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
looks like a fairly standard bowl to me, you can buy those anywhere
Are you sentimental about it or something?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:48, archived)
lol gud 1 m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
it's the best chance this thread has of raising a laugh, tbf

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
I fear you are right

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
Is that a before or after picture?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
do you normally shit in a karahi?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
You mean you don't?
The lemon garnish is equipped, in my bathrooms.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:49, archived)
Have you considered suffering in silence?

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:45, archived)
yes but the morning thread had died and no one else was stepping up so I thought fuck it, poo chat

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:47, archived)
no worries, I still have to to mine from yesterday
spaghetti, tomato and cheese, so not that spectacular, or hurtful, aha ha
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:49, archived)
keep us posted m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:50, archived)
You are *such* a fanny.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
You just want mcbeef to get an ulcer.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:51, archived)
don't ask me, m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:43, archived)
oh but I am

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:48, archived)
wow, ok, well here we go I guess
Go for it. Eat the curry today. It sounds delicious, and how many more days will it keep? Do it, and suffer the consequences. totally worth it.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
OK, I'm going for it
Pray for me, TH
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:54, archived)
I'm genuflecting as I type this, m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:58, archived)
thanks m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:02, archived)
Give it to your worst enemy
And then lock them in a cupboard.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:51, archived)
good idea
Does anyone here know Russell Kane's address?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
Give it 5 years
Then you'll find him giving blowies under Waterloo bridge for pennies.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:59, archived)
Bosh it mate. If you shit yourself you'll get the afternoon off, probably.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:53, archived)
There's only so many times one can play the poo card m8

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:57, archived)
eat it, then shit into the tupperware box and put it back in the office fridge

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:54, archived)
finally a serious reply

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 10:57, archived)
don't forget to put a passive/aggressive post it note on top

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:03, archived)
*patented burp*

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:14, archived)
pray to allah

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:01, archived)
Who isn't?
All the cool kids are these days.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:05, archived)
Eat it

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:03, archived)
Alright 'weird al'

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:07, archived)
Scoff the lot and shit in a bin

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:11, archived)
Gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold em.
That song could be about guffing after a curry.
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:16, archived)
Or it could be about porn mags.
Remember them, eh?
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:19, archived)
yer

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:21, archived)
IBDY
YDOB
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:24, archived)
stick it up your arse and fart it out of your cock.

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:21, archived)
I'd like to cancel my suggestion and add my support to this one

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:22, archived)
where's mongy gone?
imgur.com/gallery/gks8s
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:29, archived)
foood thread , i'm keeping well out of it, nice cat tho

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:35, archived)
I've done so many wees today
SO many
(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:37, archived)
I've had to get up for wees in the middle of the night the last couple of days like some kind of old cunt

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:43, archived)
that's basically when you know it's time for the old seppuku so your loved ones can move on from the withered husk you've become

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:52, archived)
I reckon the most sensible option would be to just fucking shut the fuck up and fuck the fuck off

(, Wed 30 Aug 2017, 11:55, archived)

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