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What a fucking ruiner prick, eh lads?
LADS?!
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:47, archived)
Fucking stop this shit please j

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 17:02, archived)
get fucked, knobber

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 17:06, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 17:13, archived)
Clickin dis

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 17:25, archived)
Your ex wife told me you have a tiny penis

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 17:30, archived)
Totally pushing THAT prick down the board
Which b3ta username has the best scrabble score?

Please write the answers on the back of your hand and send them in
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:43, archived)
THREADRUSH!!!
Pushing that prick down the board
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:37, archived)
So it's FRIDAY!!!
Nah it isn't...had you going though didn't I?

Golden Axe. That was shit wasn't it?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:36, archived)
great an orange sex pest or a prick
I'm going home, you can have this thread instead
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:31, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:29, archived)
When I touch my pee pee and think of rude ladies
It makes sticky milk come out the end then I don't want to any more
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:28, archived)
nice one

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:29, archived)
Kathy Burke? She seems quite rude.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:31, archived)
So at 9am this morning I had a strong hot choc from Starbucks
At about 1 the caffeine kicked in and I've had heart palpitations since. As the inevitable comedown approaches, what shouldn't I think about when the fear kicks in.
Edit: Yes, I'm a sensitive flower.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:17, archived)
terrorism

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:19, archived)
The Irish in the late 80's and early 90's got me caught up in 3 incidents in that there London
The latest fucktards have gone nothing on them.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:22, archived)
If only Muhammad was literate he could have prevented this

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:24, archived)
Lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:37, archived)
you shouldn't think about an insane orange man with the I.Q of a toddler
with his finger poised over the button that can make the whole world go boom and who is likely to press it if he doesn't get his own way.
yeah, pretty much avoid thinking of that.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:24, archived)
Satire

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:32, archived)
I really hate you.
"Satire"
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:44, archived)
that just means you care

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:36, archived)
Dozer?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:40, archived)
Not last time I checked

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:30, archived)
The caffeine in coffee and the caffeine in chocolate tend to bounce off and enhance each other in my experience.
Just try not to think about waking up with no top on and the skin of your back glued to the seat of your car, so you have to flay yourself from neck to waist to get out.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:24, archived)
Don't think about how much easier your life would be if you had testicles

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:26, archived)
If the pixies didn't rob them in the night 20 years ago
My life would be so much better :(
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:34, archived)
Have a nice poo

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:32, archived)
oh man you can't beat a nice poo

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:37, archived)
exactly what I was thinking
#thoughtm8s
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:07, archived)
Those are M Dolphins m8, chocolate's loaded with em

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:35, archived)
Dial M for dolphins

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:41, archived)
They are fucking M&Ms you fucking spastic horse

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:45, archived)
St Johns Ambulance have an advert on the tele so you will be ok in about 18 years

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:35, archived)
what?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:36, archived)
There is a set of stores in south Wales called What!
With the exclamation. It really doesn't make sense, it should be a question mark?!?!?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:45, archived)
Maybe they're owned by Jonatton Yeah?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:51, archived)
we used to have a card game called whot! when I was a kid

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:01, archived)
Looks like the card game
They used in Ghostbusters with the electric shock
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:12, archived)
the one we had looked more like
this
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:21, archived)
Tomorrow I am going to shave all my pubic hair off
Cos you know I think it will make me go down better with the female population of this planet
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:24, archived)
^has absolutely nothing to do with trying to make his cock look bigger

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:26, archived)
^ if I wanted my Cock to look bigger I would shave my "monobrow"
You know, me being a dick head and all.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:34, archived)
fair play

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:34, archived)
Dozer

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:36, archived)
never trust a man with one eyebrow

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:36, archived)

No such man, technically exists.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:47, archived)
all the more reason not to trust him

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:48, archived)
on a completely different note, hula hoops are far too salty

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:47, archived)
Salt and vinegar are fucking awesome

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:51, archived)
i don't eat those at all
i really dislike vinegar
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:52, archived)
I bet you have one eyebrow and a tranny kid called Noah as well then
THE ANTI CHRIST
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:54, archived)
I'M INFERTILE, YOU INSENSITIVE BASTARD!
wouldn't mind being the antichrist, though
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:04, archived)
That makes two of us then I can't give birth either you Bellend

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:36, archived)
Hahaha

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 16:31, archived)
Don't think my wife was particularly impressed,
but I found being pube free to be incredibly comfortable.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:54, archived)
you need to wash your shitted jogging bottoms before she gets back

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:55, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:37, archived)
I really hate you.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:05, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:05, archived)
And I really fucking want to suck your flaccid penis
Sitting on its wire wool bed of ginger pubes
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:36, archived)
ok
www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-41413297
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:20, archived)
WTF?????

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:23, archived)
I don't get it
I just don't get it
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:32, archived)
it's Reaganism gone mad

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:33, archived)
Neither does she lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:33, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:34, archived)
seems either huge abandonment issues or raging narcissism to me

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:36, archived)
I give it 6 months

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:24, archived)
mentalist

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:25, archived)
I want to be a fly on the wall for her wedding night.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:25, archived)
Which one of you fellas is this ?
scontent.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xpa1/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e35/12346016_1048105155234200_1633879258_n.jpg
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:45, archived)
mcbeef

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:48, archived)
Good heavens

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:52, archived)
blaze it faget
i.imgur.com/PBvA1Vc.gifv
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:53, archived)
yet when I contacted the bbc about having intimate relations with myself they called me a wanker and refused to run the story

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:12, archived)
what a bunch of pricks
do you want me to have a word with them?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:13, archived)
please

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 15:36, archived)
Going to shave my beard off tomorrow.
I grew it to win the favours of a laydee who said she preferred bearded men, but said laydee is never available to go out (two days a week maximum) because she has full-time custody of her nipper, so it is time to move onto better odds. So, yeah, it's time for a good old emo whining thread.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:34, archived)
Yessssssss beard chat is GO

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:36, archived)
Thunderbeards are go, surely?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:37, archived)
yes, that

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:41, archived)
Oi you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzmH7wf9zOU&feature=youtu.be&t=54s

'member Bucket 'o' Bad? Yaaaarrrrrrrrr.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:43, archived)
Can't watch that at the mo, is it me dj'ing with my tits out?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:45, archived)
Yes.
No, just some Viking Battle Metal...
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:47, archived)
You on any dating sites?
if not, can we write you a profile for a dating site?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:38, archived)
Nah, I don't like the concept of dating sites.
They've always seemed a bit too artificial for me. You match with someone and then you go out for a drink and you sit there staring at each other because you both have the pressure of knowing that you're there to meet someone rather than just get to know each other like normal human interactions. I've dabbled in them in the past but nothing ever came of it, for various reasons.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:40, archived)

dabbbled in stabbed
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:54, archived)
For some reason, most dating sites have a policy of banning you if they found out you stab people.
Thank goodness for Fetlife.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:58, archived)
"found out"

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:02, archived)
^ everyone swipes left

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:03, archived)
There are more sites out there than just Meetic, dear.
Some of them even offer you the opportunity to send messages to people and communicate via the medium of language.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:04, archived)
(is anybody else going to? No? Okay...)
I communicate through the medium of this!
*gestures to crotch*

Sorry. It had to be done.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:11, archived)
Ah, I see you've used Grindr.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:12, archived)
It is also the /talk way

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:20, archived)
Hmm...I see your schwartz is as big as mine.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:26, archived)
I met my husband on Scruff, so they're not all full of slags

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:38, archived)
They could have called it something that made it sound less like an app for dog-fanciers.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:39, archived)
Translation -
Club and a net, worked for my father, works for me.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:04, archived)
The old "seal the deal" approach.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:09, archived)
You fucked a seal?
I know someone who blew a seal once... CAR CHAT!
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:12, archived)
Someone gaz Grrry on Reddit and tell him to come back for a celebrity special car chat thread.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:13, archived)
Are you a chat up line guy
Or work through your mates mates? I found once I got into a relationship I stopped making many more friends as I didn't need to mine their mates.
Edit: I'm building a profile of you with these answers to sell you.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:16, archived)
Neither nor, to be honest.
I'm on a social networking site that basically gives you the opportunity to meet new people every night if you want to, as long as your wallet can take the belting of bar-hopping all the time. You get a fairly representative slice of the demographic, with a fair few only averagely interesting/attractive people, a few freaks and tedious weirdos, and a smattering of attractive people that you get to meet from time to time. So I know it's just a matter of continuing to go out at this point.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:21, archived)
hmm
If you only go to bars, you aren't getting a representative slice of the demographic.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:54, archived)
He's after an alcoholic on the skids clearly
Easy prey...
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:59, archived)
OK, it's not just bars.
It's bars and restaurants and museums and cinemas (although you don't get much chance to talk to people in the cinema) and picnics and treasure hunts and bike rides and....etc. It's a very varied site, to its credit.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:02, archived)
Get you, ya fucken' sociable bastard

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:59, archived)
IKR?
There should be a law against it or something.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:06, archived)
I have a beard because I can't be fucked shaving.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:39, archived)
I dunno, I reckon beards are almost as much maintenance as shaving.
If you can be fucked to maintain them, obviously.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:41, archived)
I electric shave the wispy bits on my neck and chin a few times a week so I don't look like a sex case.
But usually I do it in the evening, so I still get valuable minutes extra in bed in the morning.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:50, archived)
Fair enough.
I had to stop electric shaving when I was 15 because it wasn't making a difference any more. Decent-quality wet shaving products are tediously expensive.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:52, archived)
oh

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:06, archived)
+, fuck me in the arse and call me Mandy.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:08, archived)
Mandy?
That's rude
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:10, archived)
oh, okay

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:12, archived)
Mandy
so randy
queen of the hand shandy.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:14, archived)
Plastic surgery permanent for the rest of your life you have to look like either Michael Jackson or Jimmy Savile, WYD??????

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:19, archived)
If I had plastic surgery to look like MJ now, I'd look like Savile in ten years' time.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:23, archived)
"MJ now" looks like either a skeleton or some ash, which route were you considering?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:29, archived)
Cor, look at the thigh bones on that.
Might get some mileage.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:36, archived)
beards are overrated and itchy
to really wow a girl, point at her face and say "is anyone sitting there?"
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:20, archived)
So you enjoy men sitting on your face, is that what you're saying?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:22, archived)
did i say that?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:25, archived)
Lunchtime homo thread

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:31, archived)
I'm off to Subgay for a foot long big beef felch

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:39, archived)
Me and my tranny son Noah are having a kebab as we are both grotesquely obese
I am aiming to have my eyebrow waxed later in the afternoon.

Once I have achieved all of these goals I am considering a murder suicide scenario.

What do you have planned Dozer?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:44, archived)
Waxing yr monobrow?
Threading is preferable.

No plans beyond going to see Prick Gayve and the Bad Paeds tomorrow. I hope you and your offspring have a lovely kebab!
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:48, archived)
I never liked Michelle Gayle after she left Eastenders mate.
I did say EYEBROW you fat, tasteless, offensive, tiny penis eating bellend.

Also just so you know. I am not entirely sure Noah the tranny really is my offspring.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:34, archived)
I think you need a bit of a lie down mate.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:39, archived)
I am lying down mate

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:45, archived)
Cor!

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 13:56, archived)
dribble

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 14:16, archived)
G'gay!!
Lol. U r gay.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:04, archived)
Real mature, Windy.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:07, archived)
*parp*

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:54, archived)
*toot*

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
Yet again I've been overlooked for the 60man ashes squad, dunno what more I need to do

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:08, archived)
Burn a few more men, see if you can get your ashes count up.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:10, archived)
Methinks the Windy doth protest too much.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:10, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:10, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:29, archived)

www.news.com.au/technology/online/social/facebook-event-for-mullet-festival-at-redcliffe-skatepark-attracts-thousands-of-keen-people/news-story/c83ef9f9ac2d20a52a8e5e8e9eb4cfc4
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:16, archived)
Got your ticket booked, m'ate?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:18, archived)
Of course

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:24, archived)
I didn't know there was a difference between the Aussie mullet and the Southern US mullet.
The US yokels seem to keep it normal-length on the the sides and just grow it long at the back, but bogans keep the back long and shave everything else really short.

#hairchat
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:29, archived)
the Aussie ones look like what used to be called a 'convoy cut' in the 80s

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:54, archived)
TIL

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:15, archived)
Please go easy on the homophobic "U r gay" type posts whenever a picture of an attractive gay is posted on the board.
Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of gay boarders.
Besides, even if you would, he probably wouldn't.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:28, archived)
You never did answer my question yesterday
would you buy a cat D car second hand?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:37, archived)
Why would I buy a cat a car? Regardless off its massive chest
And I wouldn't give no fucker a hand Job you bellend
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:38, archived)
What medication are you on?
and can I have some?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:42, archived)
Zero I am totally sober and have been for a while now.
high on caffeine right now
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:50, archived)
lightweight

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
Gaylord

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:26, archived)
I preferred you when you were trollied

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:03, archived)
Go fuck yourself

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:26, archived)
If I could do that
I'd make a lot of money on webcams
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:55, archived)
I don't believe you

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:49, archived)
Totally true
Although.

Technically now is my evening so I am gonNa have a beer
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:25, archived)
Not sure they sell new cars already cat d

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:48, archived)
Alfa Romeos?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
Nope

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:54, archived)
I have been feeling the same way
would rather go to an auction tbh
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:57, archived)
Their is so much overlap in the categories, and it's open to interpretation by the insurance adjuster you'll never really know why it was Cat d.
If it was one that was stolen and returned after a layout was already made, you'd be alright, but if they failed it because parts were too expensive or hard to source, would you want to get involved in it? P
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:10, archived)
Categories are changing next month

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:11, archived)
I didn't know that.
I'll have to see what they're about now
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:19, archived)
Was thinking more of getting one that had been repaired
cat D can't be structural, assessed as not needing a retest.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:22, archived)
Depends on the repairs, they don't have to tell you what was repaired

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:33, archived)
Apparently, a car dealer does, but a private seller not
Could buy an inspection from the RAC then if anything goes amiss later there's some comeback, but I'd be uneasy nonetheless
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:47, archived)
I dint know how many dealers you've met, but I wouldn't trust one as far as I could throw one.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:49, archived)
The ones that buy insurance write offs and fix them are salt of the earth

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:54, archived)

bpstainton.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/butcher.jpg
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:00, archived)
Car dealers are well known for their trustworthiness

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:50, archived)
This is all true
but at least there is some legal comeback. Like estate agents, utterly unprincipled and nefarious but if they break the law you have redress.

A private seller is under no obligations to tell you diddly squat.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:05, archived)
You can't just say what was fixed and what parts did you use and they spill, and good luck with legal disputes on a cat d

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:09, archived)
You are being very negative about all this
don't you want me to get a nice car or something?

Why can't I have nice things too!
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:17, archived)
Would you download a Cat D, you filthy pirate?
Now Cat Deeley, on the other hand...eh lads eh eh eh (etc.).
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:55, archived)
lol
IKR!!
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:56, archived)
Yesterday I was in town, doing a bit of shopping before the cinema.
I was standing in line at the checkout and I was convinced I knew the checkout girl from somewhere, but I couldn't figure out where we'd met. Then it hit me that she looked a lot like a girl I'd seen in an amateur porn vid. Lol porn.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:23, archived)
Fake smiles matched?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:26, archived)
Amateur porn, so real smiles.
In the video the girl's actually pretty adorable because she can't stop laughing.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:28, archived)
small penus

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:38, archived)
No thanks, I've already eaten.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:24, archived)
Ah, tickle porn

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:57, archived)
Can't beat a bit of aldi dvda iykwim

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:47, archived)
I thought this post was in Turkish for a minute.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:14, archived)
fuquing prique

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 11:54, archived)
juanquhar

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:01, archived)
can confirm

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 12:08, archived)
G'day

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:23, archived)
top o' the morning to you. How's the craic?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:26, archived)
All good here ta

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:57, archived)
Beefy Eggo

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:27, archived)
No m8

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:58, archived)
Morning peeps

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:29, archived)
HB

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:58, archived)
Thufferin' thuckatash! It's a morning thread.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:10, archived)
Now lithen here, pthunny

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:29, archived)
Wooloomaloo mite

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:17, archived)
strewth

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
Morning beefy wednesday yeah?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:25, archived)
You got that right, yeah?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:30, archived)
You're one kangaroo short of the top paddock, mate.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:32, archived)
ya fuckin galah

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:49, archived)
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooooooooooooo
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyoooooooooooooooooooooo
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:36, archived)
That song's a bit of good fun.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:41, archived)
A great big bunch
o' ripe banana
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:45, archived)
If Harry Belafonte hadn't been black, though, it would have come straight out of a minstrel show.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:54, archived)
Er, yes?
maybe. Probably. I don't know.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:10, archived)
I saw Romesh Ranganathan's sketch recently about Iggy Azalea
being a white Australian who sings like a black woman from the Deep South, and how she's "a minstrel who can't be arsed to black up". And then I imagined the Banana Boat Song being sung by a white guy.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:12, archived)

d g
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:50, archived)
Well really!

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:10, archived)
Urgh.
Called in sick and booked a visit to the doctor. Might have to leave the house dressed in jogging bottoms. :(
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:45, archived)
Not jogging tho?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:46, archived)
I don't approve of jogging.

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:27, archived)
oh dear

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:48, archived)
lol bottoms

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:50, archived)
lol

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:56, archived)

j d
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:28, archived)
strewth mite you've broken the flamin' dunny ya galah

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:49, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnBPvXrA7rM
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:50, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8117387
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:27, archived)
I just do it for pin money

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:32, archived)
RIP monster munch

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:00, archived)
The AIDS drugs are not strong enough for his strain :(

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:33, archived)
It's good, Mr Ashcroft, but could you maybe be a bit more concise?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:00, archived)
i have a monobrow and a tranny kid called noah
can i reply here?
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:06, archived)
noah
you can'ta
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:11, archived)
yes

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:16, archived)
Fanks

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:37, archived)
and knowing is half the battle

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:18, archived)
Nah Cage didn't know shit

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:37, archived)
Alright

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:17, archived)
yo

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:59, archived)
Alright Crocodile Dundee

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 9:33, archived)
That's not a knoife

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:01, archived)
#sporkfight

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 10:21, archived)
A Spanishfly MORNING THREAD!!
Get in here.

Homos.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 6:18, archived)
lazy fuckers

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 6:51, archived)
ah Mike - erryone has u on ignore m8

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 6:52, archived)
I'm guessing the early night plan didn't quite work out

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 8:31, archived)
Morning

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:12, archived)
Muppppppoooooo

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:16, archived)
want to say hello to Pakistan and India?

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:18, archived)
Yeah can do I guess
ہیلو پاکستان
नमस्ते भारत
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:34, archived)
morning

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:23, archived)
Anyone want a free ticket for the Nick Cave gig in Glasgow tomorrow?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:56, archived)
No thanks

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:59, archived)
K

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:02, archived)
Is there any chance of changing the venue?
To like, my lounge?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:03, archived)
Soz m8, no.
I'm going to the Nottingham date on Thursday.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:06, archived)
Off you?
I wouldn't take a hand job off you if you had tits and a brain.

But thanks for offering you fucking spastic.

Nick Cave. What a wanker.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:15, archived)
No m8

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:16, archived)
You know what I like about you?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:13, archived)
Fuck all

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:13, archived)
You're as funny as you are clever.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:17, archived)
You know my favourite thing about you?
One day you and your tranny kid Noah will both be dead.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:18, archived)
This at least is true
But only after you my friend only after you.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:30, archived)
Ok cool

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:32, archived)
is there a webinar version I can attend?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:15, archived)
There's a paedophilic websex session fronted by a monobrowed behemoth of mentally ill obesity.
Is that a reasonable alternative option for you?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:18, archived)
only if it's at 2 am New York time

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:19, archived)
Perfect!

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:21, archived)
Me

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:17, archived)
im in glasgow tomoz, can't get home after though :(

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:18, archived)
I'll give you a lift

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:19, archived)

Get a hotel room or sutin
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:20, archived)
can't, working thursday.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:38, archived)
Oh well.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:45, archived)
aye.
I listened to that The Lioness this afternoon. It is good. Cheers for the tip.

I've just bought a sick winter jacket.
www.spiewak1904.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-spiewak-Site/default/Product-Variation?pid=SPMOW0235FLT038023&dwvar_SPMOW0235FLT038023_size=L
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:37, archived)
Aye, pleased you enjoyed it. Bleak as fuck eh.
I like this jacket in the blue and white colourway:

www.thechimpstore.com/products/columbia-challenger-pullover-jacket-collegiate?variant=47263726666
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:07, archived)
PS that jacket is smart

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:08, archived)
DICK GAYve more like!!

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:31, archived)

Dick Gayve and the Bad Sexual Offences!
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:35, archived)
No m8

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:42, archived)
and the bad paeds lol

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:37, archived)
No m8

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:44, archived)
saw him last night in Manchester
great gig. Even the gruaniad agree.

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2017/sep/26/nick-cave-and-the-bad-seeds-review-joyous-and-unexpectedly-triumphant
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:50, archived)
Yeah I read that review, sounds incredible.
He's 60 now, probably won't tour for much longer. If they do The Ship Song I will more than likely get a bit weepy :'(
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:56, archived)
they do
but also watch out for Stagger Lee.
(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 0:13, archived)
dunno who that is soz

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:10, archived)
Shut up MGT

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:14, archived)
lol at this dickhead.
metro.co.uk/2017/09/26/man-got-same-tattoo-as-dog-didnt-realise-it-was-a-neuter-symbol-6957713/
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:36, archived)
No thanks. I like quite a few of his songs, but I've never been a fan of his voice.
He's like a less shit version of Bob Dylan.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:44, archived)
He's nothing like Bob Dylan.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:09, archived)
Whiny bloke who can't really sing but who can write a good song?
You're right, no similarities there.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:34, archived)
Damn.
It's just too damn far...

Nice offer tho
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 23:23, archived)
Na

(, Wed 27 Sep 2017, 7:12, archived)
I am having a beer and watching the Fussball.
Tempted to get messy. But I have to do a webex session at 7am tomorrow to guys in New York.

You reckon they will notice if I am still drunk at 7am?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:33, archived)
Yes. Don't be a flid

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:37, archived)
The voice of reason has spoken

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:41, archived)
I'll do some hash negotiation tomorrow with the lad

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:43, archived)
I don't listen to what everyone else says, you're alright you are

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:50, archived)
Nah, couple of coffees will sort you out.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:39, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8118166
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:42, archived)
The sensible answer is, of course, don't do it. But I suspect you've already made your mind up anyway.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:46, archived)
I have.
I am being sensible.

And football chat. I had 50 on Liverpool win 2-1.

However I had couthino first goal. So that's fucked.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:14, archived)
I'm voting with McBeef here

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:43, archived)
You should get inhumanly drunk and then launch a websex session with the guys in New York.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:49, archived)
So 2am their time?
Go for it, they'll probably be cunted as well
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:58, archived)
Ah ok thank you BS.
It's been a 12pm start so 7am start for them so far this week.

This must mean the clients are connecting from another part of the globe.

I am given such shit information
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:14, archived)
and apparently don't think about it enough to query it without being prompted.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:41, archived)
They'll be too distracted by your blood & cocaine Hitler moustache to notice, so go for it.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 22:42, archived)
totally pushing that prick down the board

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:20, archived)
Hi Horbs xx

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:26, archived)
Go stab yourself in the jebend

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:28, archived)
What is best in house

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:30, archived)
To crush your Man Parrish, zzzzz

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:48, archived)
Wanky bum tits

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:42, archived)
Excellent work.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:50, archived)
Anyone got any shoe?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 19:51, archived)
Mr C's club The End had the best bouncers ever

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:10, archived)
Heh

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:37, archived)
One of the apprentices reckons he can get squidgy hash.
I'm not sure it's a good idea to buy drugs off someone I'm supposed to be teaching
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:22, archived)
I think it's a great idea and you should deffo get me an ounce as well which I'll pay over the odds for which will cover your own bit

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:36, archived)
Would you want an Oz of red or gold seal,

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 20:45, archived)
Late reply
Happily have one of each
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 21:41, archived)
New afternoon thread
What is the best thing in your house?

Follow up question, what is the best way to get into your house?
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:01, archived)
My wine cellar
and through the velux into the ensuite. Ideally leaving a box of milk tray and a calling card.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:04, archived)
The best promise I can make is not top smash your back doors in

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:08, archived)
Mind the daliahs then

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:19, archived)
The best thing in my house is my wife*, followed closely by my record collection
The best way to get into my house is by invite.

*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:04, archived)
so gay

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:05, archived)
bent af

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:08, archived)
I got a wife and I know your record collection
So leaving you off the list.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:10, archived)
Does your wife know you refer to her as a thing?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:13, archived)
yes

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
Hahaha, she's only no3 in my house

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:15, archived)
lol

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:16, archived)
oh HO!

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:21, archived)
benter than bent

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:16, archived)

www.blackburn.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=46019
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:24, archived)
"How gay is he?"
"Tugay"
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:26, archived)
actually, his name is pronounced Too-guy

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:30, archived)
wanker

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:30, archived)
^^^^^^

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:08, archived)
Hush hush, eye to eye

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:08, archived)
arf

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:44, archived)
Benter than you ever could imagine... Bent.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:25, archived)
bent as a nine bob note
/showing my age and geographic location
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:27, archived)
I'm not sure location has fuck all to do with it

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:42, archived)
that's what I was thinking tbh
'bob' for a shilling was used everywhere I thought
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:06, archived)
Most northerners I've ever met lay claim to every expression, even cockney

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:23, archived)
my tiny fucken nipples lol

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:04, archived)
lol

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:08, archived)
Everyones got nipples m8
They are worthless.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:11, archived)
MINE PENUS THEN

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:13, archived)
can't even see mine :'(
skin is so pale, they're invisible
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:13, archived)
^ naturally airbrushed

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:19, archived)
and not an elastoplast in sight

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:23, archived)
body braille

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
Couldn't choose ,

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:12, archived)
The tick tock noise all over the gaff would deafen a normal before even trying to get out

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:15, archived)
I have worried that a geiger counter could pinpoint my safe in the past

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:34, archived)
apart from me
my collection of dragons, i suppose. the door is triple deadlocked and the windows have toughened glass. do your worst. be advised, however, there is a tarantula roaming around the place.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:13, archived)
If Youtube has toaught me one thing
Is that most doorlocks are utterly shit
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
the braindeads round my way couldn't manage that
and thanks to one of my neighbours, i know that even the police with their big red key will take a good ten minutes to open one of these doors
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:27, archived)
this
*points at crotch*
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:17, archived)
It looks damaged

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:18, archived)
yeah, that can happen

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:24, archived)
NO REFUNDS

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:27, archived)
My records
My synths
My tits
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:19, archived)
The hipster pledge of alligence

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:20, archived)
Best thing?? My Husband, dog, or telly, probs.
We also have a cool cellar, which the dog refuses to go down.
It's like something out of Blair Witch with a cool, old, stone fireplace type thing, where human sacrifices were clearly burned.
Now it's where the washing machine goes.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:24, archived)
you've wasted the perfect opportunity to make your own sex dungeon

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:29, archived)
weed farm, duh

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:30, archived)
You need to tap the electrics, those lights and pumps cost loads to run

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:39, archived)
LED lights make that less of an issue I thought?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:07, archived)
Not really, you'd still be looking at kilowatts

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:19, archived)
mate of mine does large scale grows (well, ex mate really) and he always used industrial units so no eyebrows would be raised over leccy usage

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:22, archived)
I can't even keep a cactus alive, no chance.

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:03, archived)
I've just gone and killed about 5 of them in my attempts to graft a peyote onto a san pedro

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:27, archived)
It puts the lotion in the basket

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 16:33, archived)
Probs my music collection followed by my books.
Aside from that I don't really have many things.
(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:13, archived)
There is a local jewelry shop near me that is selling something which could well be triple it's value at least , the old boy seems to have no idea, do I buy and rip him off?

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 17:53, archived)
Sure, stupid old people, they're asking for it really

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:06, archived)
He clearly paid less than he's getting, so he is earning

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 18:11, archived)
It's probably cursed

(, Tue 26 Sep 2017, 19:21, archived)

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