Hahahahahaha, you fucking imbecile.
Get off the internet before you hurt yourself.
( BraynDedd Rob Manuel is a whining cunt, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:30, More)

Hello chaps and chapesses, a question if I may
I made this with my sister and some friends. Took us a lot of hard work and we're really proud of it.

Now, I don't go on /talk much, more of a /links guy, but wondered if it would be ghastly self-promotion and instant abuse were I to share this on /links, or is it the sort of thing that, since I made it, maybe people might say nice stuff about and share (though I'd settle for just not be very mean)?

(just thought it maybe a good idea to canvas opinion first)
( dysonology "You get an 'ology', you're a scientist!", Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:16, More)

Moses parts Red;
Violence ensues.
All the world's problems
Are down to the Jews.
( baldmonkey LEMSIP AND VIENNESE WHIRLS ALL ROUND., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 17:31, More)

Rhyme is just another closed book that could be used as a makeshift frisbee to you, isn't it?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:24, More)

Roses are biomass
violets are biomass
you are biomass
I consume all biomass
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:48, More)

Violets are violet
Roses are rose
Lotion in basket
Or it gets the hose
( Flapjack is a alien or sutin, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:31, More)

Lilacs are lilac,
bluebells are blue,
let's state the obvious,
tautologies are true
( Moon Girl Technologies |:|:|:|, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:27, More)

it seems putting a rudimentary face on any old shit is enough to make people like an object
I will now demonstrate this through the medium of poo
www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/poo.jpg
( vladimir very large wild bovine creature similar to the gnu, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 15:22, More)

Let's be completely honest here, nobody taking part in this subthread is looking good.

( JackAction Poet Laureate of b3ta, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 16:14, More)

Are there any courses in crack horology?

( broadsword cold get ill or get retarded, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 10:34, More)

if you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward

( Grrrmachine is angostic, which explains the bitterness, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 13:41, More)

It's Valentine's Day soon
What's your Weapon of Mass Seduction?
( Grrrmachine is angostic, which explains the bitterness, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 15:10, More)

"I have to keep going," spangolin spoke through gritted teeth.
She hacked away at the vines with her machete, plodding ever onwards through the Forsaken Forest. He feet sucked and squelched at the swampy terrain.

A chitinous chirping came from afar. Spangolin stopped, and tugged back the pointed peak of her dino hoodie to hear better.

Suddenly, it leapt through the vines and stood in front of her, mandibles apart and trembling. Its top four legs expanded in a terrifying embrace as it reared back on its hind legs, but with a swift charge and a hop, Spangolin quickly plunged her machete into the creatures chest. Black ichor dripped and oozed from the wound, and the louse toppled backwards, dead.

Spango wiped her blade clean, and plodded on.

After what seemed an eternity of hacking and slashing, the terrain started to climb. The snakelike vines, once so coiled and dense, grew taller and thinner. Eventually, she broke through a clearing, and was presented with a column, a cliff, whose summit tore into the sky so high above.

"The Dark Tower," Spangolin breathed. Her chin lifted to the heavens as she peered up at the soaring spire, dreading the climb that awaited her.

From above, far above, the Lone Jap's Eye of Baldmonkey peered unblinkingly at the terrain, oblivious to the little hobbit that had brought its ring so close...
( Grrrmachine is angostic, which explains the bitterness, Sun 12 Feb 2012, 12:38, More)

I don't know it doesn't seem to be too bad really
www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/pornmoo.jpg
( vladimir very large wild bovine creature similar to the gnu, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 17:50, More)

OK gonz I've got a plan
www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/method.jpg
( vladimir very large wild bovine creature similar to the gnu, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 15:22, More)

'MORE! MORE' Honked Sammi as her lank hair framed her shining face.
She shifted her hips and pushed her glistening mons, presented like a dog would bring in a dead rat, to her new Master.

The Master, as he was now known, retched at the smell but forced himself to breathe and dive in for another lap.

In between the spastic bellowing, creaking bed and endless ee-ee-ee squeak of his PVC body suit, he was in ecstasy. His new mantle granted power, pleasure on demand, to drink from her furry yet misshapen cup as often as his thirst demanded.

'This is WAY better than being called Supermatt_394' he thought aloud.
( fatpoof, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 13:51, More)

The look of fear in their eyes only heightened her excitement.
She tilted her head back and laughed, a sound of sheer exuberance and excitement. She sobered quickly and raked her eyes across the gaggle of villainy arrayed before her.
"Okay, which one of you punks is first?" A smile threatened to break across her face as she spoke. The leader smiled a cruel smile and was about to speak but the look was exploded from his face in an instant. A tiny, yet perfectly formed, avenging foot wrapped in an avenging ugg boot slammed into his face and shattered it forever.
The fight didn't last long. Those that were able dragged themselves away from the battlefield, bloodied and humiliated. One cried out as he removed his severed arm from his arse but was then silent. Only one remained, one scared and shaking little man. She sneered as she hungrily dragged her eyes over his rake thin and shaking form. He would do, he would have to as she was now so aroused she needed to be satisfied.
The poor victim was wearing his 1997 replica Blackburn Rovers kit, one sock round his ankles, one still proudly hugging his knee. He grasped at the frisbee in his shaking hands like a shield, as if it would protect him. The diminutive destroyer lept forth and grabbed her victim round the neck, dragging him down to her level. She kissed him hungrily and was only more aroused by his whimpering protest.
"Now frisbee pet, you're going to do exactly as I say or I'll kung-fu that pretty little frisbee right up your jaksie. Capisce?" she asked with a cruel smile. He nodded, eyes filled with fear. Jenpots laughed wickedly then pulled her next victim back to her lair.
( mark morrisons prison shoes fruit salad fusilier, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 12:32, More)

may be here every Friday ruining your lives:
b3ta.com/newsletter/issue516/
now everyone do one
( baldmonkey LEMSIP AND VIENNESE WHIRLS ALL ROUND., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:30, More)

She wants him to fuck the dog and tear it in half and then she'll stick her face in the jizzy torn-up dog and shout "I'M THE SEX JOKER EATING OUT HARLEY QUINN"

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:22, More)

www.b3tards.com/u/6ade611e1870a93700b9/tort.jpg
( vladimir very large wild bovine creature similar to the gnu, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 14:07, More)