» The most cash I've ever carried

During the 1950's I worked as a rent boy in the American South.
A number of then up and coming country singers were my 'clients'.

During this time the most Cash I handled was about 8 inches.
(Wed 28th Jun 2006, 21:45, More)

» School Days

An old story of mine but it bears repeating.
The Swimming Gala at Upper School.
In which various pimply herberts competed for glory in the piss infested, nadger reducing over chlorinated puddle that was Sudbury Upper School's pool.

Anyway, we would have been around 15.
I was too piss poor a swimmer to be let near the events but my mate Eddie, who was a fine adept of the back stroke, was.

The pattern would go that the girl's event would take place, followed by the boys event of the same 'class'

Most of the lads competing had, in view of the fact that it was the one time in the year you'd get to see the girls out of their shapeless uniforms wisely opted to wear swimming cossies in the 'baggy shorts'. Not Ed.
He was wearing skin tight Speedo's.
So the whole YEAR could see his erection straining at his speedos.

The backstroke event started.
Then had to be restarted as all competitors bar one had collapsed(or would have done, had they not been being supported by the water of the pool) laughing at some wag shouting 'that's not fair Eddie's using a rudder!'

Even to this day, getting on for 20 years later he still is occasionally addressed as Rudder.
But only WELL out of his earshot.
(Thu 29th Jan 2009, 16:14, More)

» Mugged

Having grown up in rural Suffolk...
..I have never been mugged.

However, I have seen swans stealing bread off of ducks though.
(Thu 15th Jun 2006, 20:00, More)

» School Sports Day

Ah....the swimming gala...
...at Upper School.
In which various pimply herberts competed for glory in the piss infested, nadger redducing over chlorinated puddle that was Sudbury Upper School's pool.

Anyway, we would have been around 15.
I was too piss poor a swimmer to be let near the events but my mate Eddie was.
Finest back stroker the year.
first up in the afternoon were the girl's events. 10 o so events featuring the finest physical specimens of teenage femalehood that the school could offer. IN SWIMSUITS.

Then the boy's events started. First up - backstroke. Most of the lads competing had wisely opted to wear swimming cossies in the 'baggy shorts'. Not Ed.
He was wearing skin tight Speedo's.
So the whole YEAR could see his erection straining at his speedos.

The backstroke event started.
Then had to be restarted as all competitors bar one collapsed laughing at some wag shouting 'that's not fair Eddie's using a rudder!'.

For weeks after he was know as 'rudder'.
Even to this day, 15 years later he still is occasionally addressed as Rudder.
Mind you not by me.
He gets violent if you do that.
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 18:13, More)

» Personal Hygiene

This tale has been doing the rounds at bashes and on /talk for a whle now so it's time to share...
...I call this tale 'The Most Disgusting Thing I ever Saw' or for those in the know, 'THAT story'.

Anyway.
About 8 years back I was a student nurse coming into my final year.
As part of my final year you get to do two 'trauma' placements in areas like ICU, A&E or theatres. Mine involved being sent to theatres.

On the day of this tale I was detailed to work in a partiular theatre on the urology list. the list for the day comprised exclusively circumcisions, mainly in young lads who'd got a phimosis.
Finally the last customer of the morning comes in.
Gentleman in his 60's, rather shy, had needed YEARS of nagging by his wife to get it seen to apparently.

The first stage of the op, once the patient is safely aneasthetised is for the surgeon, or his assistant to 'prepare' the area for sugery.
In the case of a circumcision this involves yanking down the tight collar of the world's smallest polo neck and cleaning underneath.

Well.
Operating theatres are often warm places, which tends to make them PARTICULARLY fragrant after a long session in there.
The foreskin came back to reveal that this chap had quite possibly never washed under it his whole adult life, it must have been inches thick with knob cheese, but, mercifully, there was no smell.
So the surgeon whips out his forceps and gauze and begins cleaning.

Did I mention that it was last case of the morning?

Keen to get out for his urgent appointment with the golf course the surgeon set about prepaing the area vigourously.
The cheese was EVERYWHERE, including into the goggles of his assistant and the scrub nurse, the overhead lights, the patient's ear and as a coup de grace, the aneasthetist's cup of water, which the aformentioned gasman then drank.

Worst thing about the whole affair?

The SMELL.

Like cheap mozzarella.

Gone off.

And then eaten and sicked up by the dog.

Length? slightly less than it was before but nice and clean now.
(Wed 28th Mar 2007, 7:30, More)