Profile for mikeisbrill:
Hello. My name is Mike and I am fucking great. I used to be really active round these parts, but nowadays I mainly pop up to spam various shit I've made.
HERE ARE SOME FUN THINGS I DO
Damp Sleeve Of Ham: Phone portraits of celebrities
I Swear, You're Famous: Swearing near the great and good
Mike Tries Poems: Rarely-updated poetry blog
My main blog: Bits and shits I've written
The Crafty Butchers: My meat-themed rock band
Twitter: me on it
MAYBE I DO TOO MUCH.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 11 years, 3 months and 13 days
- has posted 8884 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 2 messages on the talk board
- has posted 16 messages on the links board
- (including 11 links)
- has posted 5 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
- They liked 1 pictures, 1 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Hello. My name is Mike and I am fucking great. I used to be really active round these parts, but nowadays I mainly pop up to spam various shit I've made.
HERE ARE SOME FUN THINGS I DO
Damp Sleeve Of Ham: Phone portraits of celebrities
I Swear, You're Famous: Swearing near the great and good
Mike Tries Poems: Rarely-updated poetry blog
My main blog: Bits and shits I've written
The Crafty Butchers: My meat-themed rock band
Twitter: me on it
MAYBE I DO TOO MUCH.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Puns
My mate came up to me
and said "You know what you should do? Be the third most popular Britpop band."
"What?" I replied, "I don't know what you mean,"
"Oh go on," he said, "Be the third most popular Britpop band. Girls'll like you if you do."
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"Come on" he urged, "Be it. Be the third most popular Britpop band."
"Look mate, I have no idea what you're talking about" I responded, getting a little tetchy.
"Oh go on, man," he said, almost pleading by now.
"No. Absolutely not." I said.
But he carried on trying to convince me. I kept saying no, and he kept trying. I kept saying No. He kept trying.
And eventually, I was Suede.
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 11:47, More)
My mate came up to me
and said "You know what you should do? Be the third most popular Britpop band."
"What?" I replied, "I don't know what you mean,"
"Oh go on," he said, "Be the third most popular Britpop band. Girls'll like you if you do."
"What are you talking about?" I said.
"Come on" he urged, "Be it. Be the third most popular Britpop band."
"Look mate, I have no idea what you're talking about" I responded, getting a little tetchy.
"Oh go on, man," he said, almost pleading by now.
"No. Absolutely not." I said.
But he carried on trying to convince me. I kept saying no, and he kept trying. I kept saying No. He kept trying.
And eventually, I was Suede.
(Fri 6th Mar 2009, 11:47, More)
» Irrational Fears
i hate closing the curtains
when it's dark outside, and i can see my reflection clearly in the glass. this is partly because i am very ugly, but also because of a fear of either seeing a movement reflected behind me or else someone outside my window. Somehow, thugh, I had no qualms about leaving the windows open.
i was shitscared of this for about fifteen years, despite living on the eleventh floor of a tower block for ten of them. i only got cured of it when i moved into my current house, where my ground-floor bedroom backs onto a pitch-black garden. I confronted my fear, baby. Aw yeah.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 14:38, More)
i hate closing the curtains
when it's dark outside, and i can see my reflection clearly in the glass. this is partly because i am very ugly, but also because of a fear of either seeing a movement reflected behind me or else someone outside my window. Somehow, thugh, I had no qualms about leaving the windows open.
i was shitscared of this for about fifteen years, despite living on the eleventh floor of a tower block for ten of them. i only got cured of it when i moved into my current house, where my ground-floor bedroom backs onto a pitch-black garden. I confronted my fear, baby. Aw yeah.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 14:38, More)
» Irrational Fears
i know someone who
has a phobia of squashed peas. She doesn't mind eating peas, as long as she doesn't see any get squashed. If you squash them in front of her she cries. she is in her late twenties.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 14:49, More)
i know someone who
has a phobia of squashed peas. She doesn't mind eating peas, as long as she doesn't see any get squashed. If you squash them in front of her she cries. she is in her late twenties.
(Tue 27th Jan 2004, 14:49, More)
» Dad Jokes
my dad
is the king of them. any opportunity for a cheesy joke is taken, and i love him for it. i was talking to my mum on the phone the other day before she went to work, and she said "here's your Dad for a quick word". My dad grabbed the phone and shouted into it "Speedy!" - i.e. a quick word. It took some explaining before I got it, but I found it funny when I did.
And whenever we're eating mushrooms he will always without fail make a remark about how he'd like to eat more but he doesn't have mush room. Hilarious.
I wish I could think of more examples, because he is seriously great at them. Better than all of your dads.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 12:45, More)
my dad
is the king of them. any opportunity for a cheesy joke is taken, and i love him for it. i was talking to my mum on the phone the other day before she went to work, and she said "here's your Dad for a quick word". My dad grabbed the phone and shouted into it "Speedy!" - i.e. a quick word. It took some explaining before I got it, but I found it funny when I did.
And whenever we're eating mushrooms he will always without fail make a remark about how he'd like to eat more but he doesn't have mush room. Hilarious.
I wish I could think of more examples, because he is seriously great at them. Better than all of your dads.
(Wed 10th Dec 2003, 12:45, More)
» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta
Happy birthday!
I found b3ta through a mention of Buffy's Swearing Keyboard in Kerrang just after I'd started university in 2001. I wasn't having the greatest time at uni, finding the childhood-to-adulthood transition rockier than I'd necessarily anticipated, and the b3ta community was brilliant – I spent a great deal of that first year or so drunkenly smashing messages into it about how drunk/sad/depressed I was, and people were incredibly helpful, funny, practical, and willing to call me a cunt when I was being one. Eventually I slid out of that funk, and having b3ta as an outlet was definitely instrumental in that sliding. The virtual friendships I made in that time really helped kick me vaguely into shape. They also made me laugh my fucking head off regularly.
(Note: this was back when it was all fields, and there was no talk board, and it was acceptable to put "I'm drunk" as a post on the main board. Imagine doing that now. You'd be hanged.)
For several years I relentlessly posted a mixture of underwhelming images (MS Paint FTW), slightly crap poetry (RIP Stupid Bathroom) and an awful lot of pretty crap banter (I tried to make "Shut the fuck up, Ian" a catchphrase for a while). It was loads of fun.
I also went to several of the early bashes, and made half-formed clumsy semi-friendships, many of which exist to this day. When I moved to London in 2004 to ostensibly seek my fortune, I crashed in the flat of a fellow b3tan for the first few weeks. I had a site for years hosted for free by a fellow b3tan. The header on my bad poetry site was designed by a b3tan. I've had help with work, sponsorship for charity events, professional and personal advice and quite a lot of free drinks off b3ta.
More recently, and on a different note, I performed at two of the Sickipedia live events. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that in any other environment, but knowing it all stemmed from b3ta meant I felt comfortable telling crap puns (the punchline to one joke was "Boutros Boutros Gnarly") on stage. In the last year I've also managed to get into the b3ta newsletter twice, which means I win the internet.
Ten years is a long time to be a part of something, however off-and-on. I'm incredibly grateful to be even a small part of it. Thanks to Rob and everyone else – you really created a beautiful monster.
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 22:51, More)
Happy birthday!
I found b3ta through a mention of Buffy's Swearing Keyboard in Kerrang just after I'd started university in 2001. I wasn't having the greatest time at uni, finding the childhood-to-adulthood transition rockier than I'd necessarily anticipated, and the b3ta community was brilliant – I spent a great deal of that first year or so drunkenly smashing messages into it about how drunk/sad/depressed I was, and people were incredibly helpful, funny, practical, and willing to call me a cunt when I was being one. Eventually I slid out of that funk, and having b3ta as an outlet was definitely instrumental in that sliding. The virtual friendships I made in that time really helped kick me vaguely into shape. They also made me laugh my fucking head off regularly.
(Note: this was back when it was all fields, and there was no talk board, and it was acceptable to put "I'm drunk" as a post on the main board. Imagine doing that now. You'd be hanged.)
For several years I relentlessly posted a mixture of underwhelming images (MS Paint FTW), slightly crap poetry (RIP Stupid Bathroom) and an awful lot of pretty crap banter (I tried to make "Shut the fuck up, Ian" a catchphrase for a while). It was loads of fun.
I also went to several of the early bashes, and made half-formed clumsy semi-friendships, many of which exist to this day. When I moved to London in 2004 to ostensibly seek my fortune, I crashed in the flat of a fellow b3tan for the first few weeks. I had a site for years hosted for free by a fellow b3tan. The header on my bad poetry site was designed by a b3tan. I've had help with work, sponsorship for charity events, professional and personal advice and quite a lot of free drinks off b3ta.
More recently, and on a different note, I performed at two of the Sickipedia live events. I wouldn't have dreamed of doing that in any other environment, but knowing it all stemmed from b3ta meant I felt comfortable telling crap puns (the punchline to one joke was "Boutros Boutros Gnarly") on stage. In the last year I've also managed to get into the b3ta newsletter twice, which means I win the internet.
Ten years is a long time to be a part of something, however off-and-on. I'm incredibly grateful to be even a small part of it. Thanks to Rob and everyone else – you really created a beautiful monster.
(Mon 12th Sep 2011, 22:51, More)