Profile for useful_idiot:
I am useful_idiot, queen of self-shoppery. I may only be19 20 21 22 years of age, and have a somewhat pink and flowery profile, but don't let that put you off.
I rock. And I have a certificate to prove it. Yes, while we're on the subject, I am semi-famous/infamous for having had pictures of my very naked breasts posted on /talk. At least I got a certificate out of it!
I can be contacted via. MSN or just good old fashioned email on washington underscore laura at hotmail dot com. Please try and type in standard English or I will brand you a retard.
Things I like:
If you're nosy, this is what I have been listening to recently:
(click on the thingy for more information such as my favourite artists, in case you didn't already know)
I keep pretty up to date on facebook. You may also wish to have a peek at my photos on flickr. I also play The Rockstar Game, which is quite funky, so have a look at that. More importantly, I make jewellery, so see what I'm flogging on eBay right now, I need the money...
Me with myboyfriend fiance husband (as of May '09 - sorry, chaps!), whose brother you may know as devil duck. My interesting fact for the paragraph. Here is a picture of the three of us on Halloween. I'm actually terrified of clowns, so it was an interesting evening...
We've occasionally been known to collaborate on things too, here's an example:
Me, with domo's face - a really, really old 'shop, but I like it, so in it goes. I don't really do many pics anymore.
My site of arty-farty gubbins can be found here. Do have a look as it's rather fabby (if I do say so myself), and sign the guestbook as I like to know when b3tans have been looking at my site.
An example of my painting, I'm dead chuffed with this one!
Oh, and you can look at my wonderful catalogue of B3ta images here, and here.
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 6 years, 6 months and 8 days
- has posted 3953 messages on the main board
- has posted 3097 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 54 stories and 3 replies on question of the week
- They liked 28 pictures, 1 links, 5 talk posts, and 45 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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I am useful_idiot, queen of self-shoppery. I may only be
I rock. And I have a certificate to prove it. Yes, while we're on the subject, I am semi-famous/infamous for having had pictures of my very naked breasts posted on /talk. At least I got a certificate out of it!
I can be contacted via. MSN or just good old fashioned email on washington underscore laura at hotmail dot com. Please try and type in standard English or I will brand you a retard.
Things I like:
Purple
The Cure
Painting
Fluff and sparkles
Cows and cow print things
Alcomahol - in particular Jack Daniels, Guinness and real ales
Tea
And orchids, obviously
If you're nosy, this is what I have been listening to recently:
(click on the thingy for more information such as my favourite artists, in case you didn't already know)
I keep pretty up to date on facebook. You may also wish to have a peek at my photos on flickr. I also play The Rockstar Game, which is quite funky, so have a look at that. More importantly, I make jewellery, so see what I'm flogging on eBay right now, I need the money...
Me with my
We've occasionally been known to collaborate on things too, here's an example:
Me, with domo's face - a really, really old 'shop, but I like it, so in it goes. I don't really do many pics anymore.
My site of arty-farty gubbins can be found here. Do have a look as it's rather fabby (if I do say so myself), and sign the guestbook as I like to know when b3tans have been looking at my site.
An example of my painting, I'm dead chuffed with this one!
Oh, and you can look at my wonderful catalogue of B3ta images here, and here.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» I was drunk when I bought this
I think that would explain the existence of this
I'm not getting drunk again until this auction has finished.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 17:28, More)
I think that would explain the existence of this
I'm not getting drunk again until this auction has finished.
(Thu 9th Jun 2005, 17:28, More)
» Running away
I can't believe it's taken me all week to remember this
A few months ago my parents were clearing out a load of old papers and found this:
In case you can't read it very well, it says:
"Dear Dad
I am getting married
this is a goodbye letter
Love from your
Darling
Darter (sic)
I love you so much
I will cry"
I don't know how old I was, but it must have been during the period I was obsessed with the Disney film of The Little Mermaid. My dad now keeps it in a tankard thing on our fireplace - I think he wants to show my boyfriend in the event we get engaged. Great...
(Thu 17th Aug 2006, 15:41, More)
I can't believe it's taken me all week to remember this
A few months ago my parents were clearing out a load of old papers and found this:
In case you can't read it very well, it says:
"Dear Dad
I am getting married
this is a goodbye letter
Love from your
Darling
Darter (sic)
I love you so much
I will cry"
I don't know how old I was, but it must have been during the period I was obsessed with the Disney film of The Little Mermaid. My dad now keeps it in a tankard thing on our fireplace - I think he wants to show my boyfriend in the event we get engaged. Great...
(Thu 17th Aug 2006, 15:41, More)
» Urban Legends
The old McDonalds semen in the mayo one
I heard it about the one near me a while back after it had been closed for the weekend for "health and safety reasons". Now, at the time, my boyfriend worked there, so I asked him about it. No way someone could spunk in the mayo, he said, it's thoroughly sealed until it gets squirted into the burgers with one of those polyfilla-type guns, and it would be impossible to have a sneaky shuffle into a burger due to lack of space and privacy in kitchens and on the counter. All well and good, I was relieved.
The reason why the place was shut all weekend? The smell from the open sewer in the kitchen was too bad. He took this picture on his phone to illustrate:
This sewer was frequently open while the place was serving food, not even 3ft from where they were cooking the burgers. Yuck.
(Sat 7th Jan 2006, 19:56, More)
The old McDonalds semen in the mayo one
I heard it about the one near me a while back after it had been closed for the weekend for "health and safety reasons". Now, at the time, my boyfriend worked there, so I asked him about it. No way someone could spunk in the mayo, he said, it's thoroughly sealed until it gets squirted into the burgers with one of those polyfilla-type guns, and it would be impossible to have a sneaky shuffle into a burger due to lack of space and privacy in kitchens and on the counter. All well and good, I was relieved.
The reason why the place was shut all weekend? The smell from the open sewer in the kitchen was too bad. He took this picture on his phone to illustrate:
This sewer was frequently open while the place was serving food, not even 3ft from where they were cooking the burgers. Yuck.
(Sat 7th Jan 2006, 19:56, More)
» Missing body parts
Mildly embarrassing, this
But seeing some of the other posts I though I might as well share it.
To briefly explain, I get bouts of really, really bad eczema - my skins blisters up, goes crusty and just becomes unbearably painful and itchy. Unfortunately, this often afflicts my nipples, and it's not really the done thing to frequently get your tits out and rub cream all over them as I have to do (although I'm sure some people wouldn't object), so I tend to have to leave them be most of the time.
Rewind to about... ooh, five years ago? when I just started to suffer from it again for the first time since childhood. Joy. It was the middle of a really hot summer, which always makes my skin bad, and I couldn't sleep due to the constant pain and itching. Eventually I just got so fed up with my cracked, bleeding nipples I decided it would be a good idea to just get it over and done with and... cut them off with a pair of nail scissors. I think I may have been driven a bit nuts by the lack of sleep and such. All the affected skin gone with minimal pain, I bandaged the lot up and settled down for the first decent nights sleep I'd had in weeks. Next morning, remove dressing, and the tips of my otherwise brown nips are now pink, and a wee bit shorter than they were.
As an aside, the eczema's never spread to the sticky-outy bits since, and they're about 10 times as sensitive as they were previously, which has it's bonuses...
Edit: Also, prior to this post, I'd only told about two people about this. Ah well.
(Tue 6th Jun 2006, 17:47, More)
Mildly embarrassing, this
But seeing some of the other posts I though I might as well share it.
To briefly explain, I get bouts of really, really bad eczema - my skins blisters up, goes crusty and just becomes unbearably painful and itchy. Unfortunately, this often afflicts my nipples, and it's not really the done thing to frequently get your tits out and rub cream all over them as I have to do (although I'm sure some people wouldn't object), so I tend to have to leave them be most of the time.
Rewind to about... ooh, five years ago? when I just started to suffer from it again for the first time since childhood. Joy. It was the middle of a really hot summer, which always makes my skin bad, and I couldn't sleep due to the constant pain and itching. Eventually I just got so fed up with my cracked, bleeding nipples I decided it would be a good idea to just get it over and done with and... cut them off with a pair of nail scissors. I think I may have been driven a bit nuts by the lack of sleep and such. All the affected skin gone with minimal pain, I bandaged the lot up and settled down for the first decent nights sleep I'd had in weeks. Next morning, remove dressing, and the tips of my otherwise brown nips are now pink, and a wee bit shorter than they were.
As an aside, the eczema's never spread to the sticky-outy bits since, and they're about 10 times as sensitive as they were previously, which has it's bonuses...
Edit: Also, prior to this post, I'd only told about two people about this. Ah well.
(Tue 6th Jun 2006, 17:47, More)
» Accidentally Erotic
Oh, so many stories....
Gigs are always a good one. Especially when it's the boyfriend up on stage - I'll be stood right at the front almost touching him, he'll be playing deep, rumbling bass lines that vibrate all up my legs and I can literally smell the pheromones coming off him. Guitars are so phallic anyway... think about it - to a girl (or to me at least) it looks like you're stood there holding your wang. And basses have longer necks... *drools*
Next story! Bit odder, this one. To briefly explain - the boyfriend drives a Morris Minor van. 1969. Bright blue. Lovely. Now, when he's driving at a good speed (relatively speaking) I'm fine, but if he slows it down and crawls along, it vibrates like fuck. We found this out a while back at one of the shows he'd entered it in - for those not in the know, vintage vehicle rallies comprise of a bunch of nutters staying in a big field for a weekend, lots of stalls and stuff, and a ring in the middle where you drive around and show off to the paying public. In the ring you have to drive around VERY SLOWLY - as in, walking pace. At that sort of speed he has to keep fiddling with the clutch, choke etc. in order to keep it going, with the result that it runs a bit "lumpy" - so naturally it vibrates at different speeds and levels of intensity. Nearly had an unfortunate moment last summer when I came so close to orgasm right in the middle of the arena with hundreds of people watching... still, at least I could blame my flushed appearance on the hot weather :) now I've learnt to sit with my feet jammed right at the end of the footwell so I'n not actually touching the seat!
Finally (for now at least), I had my legs waxed professionally for the first and only time about five years ago, before I went on holiday to New Zealand for a month. The hot wax, the short, sharp shock of having it pulled off, the nice (fairly attractive - don't normally like beauty salon types) woman stroking my legs as she smoothed the strips down... all resulted in me having visibly erect nipples when I got up off the table thing, and had a bright red face when I paid. Been too embarrassed to go back since!
Think I'd better go and have a cold shower now.
(apologies for length, but I just like it that way)
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 13:43, More)
Oh, so many stories....
Gigs are always a good one. Especially when it's the boyfriend up on stage - I'll be stood right at the front almost touching him, he'll be playing deep, rumbling bass lines that vibrate all up my legs and I can literally smell the pheromones coming off him. Guitars are so phallic anyway... think about it - to a girl (or to me at least) it looks like you're stood there holding your wang. And basses have longer necks... *drools*
Next story! Bit odder, this one. To briefly explain - the boyfriend drives a Morris Minor van. 1969. Bright blue. Lovely. Now, when he's driving at a good speed (relatively speaking) I'm fine, but if he slows it down and crawls along, it vibrates like fuck. We found this out a while back at one of the shows he'd entered it in - for those not in the know, vintage vehicle rallies comprise of a bunch of nutters staying in a big field for a weekend, lots of stalls and stuff, and a ring in the middle where you drive around and show off to the paying public. In the ring you have to drive around VERY SLOWLY - as in, walking pace. At that sort of speed he has to keep fiddling with the clutch, choke etc. in order to keep it going, with the result that it runs a bit "lumpy" - so naturally it vibrates at different speeds and levels of intensity. Nearly had an unfortunate moment last summer when I came so close to orgasm right in the middle of the arena with hundreds of people watching... still, at least I could blame my flushed appearance on the hot weather :) now I've learnt to sit with my feet jammed right at the end of the footwell so I'n not actually touching the seat!
Finally (for now at least), I had my legs waxed professionally for the first and only time about five years ago, before I went on holiday to New Zealand for a month. The hot wax, the short, sharp shock of having it pulled off, the nice (fairly attractive - don't normally like beauty salon types) woman stroking my legs as she smoothed the strips down... all resulted in me having visibly erect nipples when I got up off the table thing, and had a bright red face when I paid. Been too embarrassed to go back since!
Think I'd better go and have a cold shower now.
(apologies for length, but I just like it that way)
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 13:43, More)