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» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
Grouphug
A couple that I knew lost their daughter in the Dunblane school shooting. To help with the pain a few months later, in a town many many miles away, we all went with a group of other friends to a gig at our local leisure/sports centre.
After warming-up with a few beers in the upstairs bar we went back down through the lobby towards the venue. The mother of the child stopped suddenly in the lobby, her face white. She was standing in front of a sign to one of the sports centre facilities, the Projectile Gallery. "Yes," I said, "There's a shooting range here too.........."
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 3:17, More)
Grouphug
A couple that I knew lost their daughter in the Dunblane school shooting. To help with the pain a few months later, in a town many many miles away, we all went with a group of other friends to a gig at our local leisure/sports centre.
After warming-up with a few beers in the upstairs bar we went back down through the lobby towards the venue. The mother of the child stopped suddenly in the lobby, her face white. She was standing in front of a sign to one of the sports centre facilities, the Projectile Gallery. "Yes," I said, "There's a shooting range here too.........."
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 3:17, More)
» Clients Are Stupid
My ex-client
(wife) used to ring me at work with all life's little problems. In the open-plan office my desk became known as 'the Help desk'.
Exhibit 1:
Her: Help, the kettle is broken.
Me: Is it plugged in?
Her: (small voice) ....oh.
Exhibit 2:
Her: Help, the car is stuck, and I can't get it out of the driveway.
Me: What do you mean, "stuck"?
Her: On the gatepost.
We had a driveway that you could have put the damn car in sideways. She had jammed it against the gatepost whilst reversing out (I left the scar on the car for months). She didn't realise that if she drove forward she could straighten-up and reverse out again. I had to leave work to do it for her.
TTFN
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 14:14, More)
My ex-client
(wife) used to ring me at work with all life's little problems. In the open-plan office my desk became known as 'the Help desk'.
Exhibit 1:
Her: Help, the kettle is broken.
Me: Is it plugged in?
Her: (small voice) ....oh.
Exhibit 2:
Her: Help, the car is stuck, and I can't get it out of the driveway.
Me: What do you mean, "stuck"?
Her: On the gatepost.
We had a driveway that you could have put the damn car in sideways. She had jammed it against the gatepost whilst reversing out (I left the scar on the car for months). She didn't realise that if she drove forward she could straighten-up and reverse out again. I had to leave work to do it for her.
TTFN
(Tue 30th Dec 2003, 14:14, More)
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
Dave
Dave was the barman in our local for many years. Sadly, his six-year old daughter was killed by a hit and run driver outside his home.
On Dave's first day back at the pub he was going round collecting the empties. Picking up a discarded half-glass from our table he asked "Is this anyone's drink?"
"No, Dave. That one's dead". Dave walked off with tears in his eyes.
Swallow me up, ground.
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 0:35, More)
Dave
Dave was the barman in our local for many years. Sadly, his six-year old daughter was killed by a hit and run driver outside his home.
On Dave's first day back at the pub he was going round collecting the empties. Picking up a discarded half-glass from our table he asked "Is this anyone's drink?"
"No, Dave. That one's dead". Dave walked off with tears in his eyes.
Swallow me up, ground.
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 0:35, More)
» Slang Survey
Cripple-spot
This from our paraplegic draftsman:
Cripple-spot = disabled parking space
(Fri 6th Feb 2004, 5:35, More)
Cripple-spot
This from our paraplegic draftsman:
Cripple-spot = disabled parking space
(Fri 6th Feb 2004, 5:35, More)