Profile for Pretender:
I'm 21 years old, a fine malt of exceptional quality. The feel of me is smooth and silky, and my taste is fine, fully-flavoured and subtle.
I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine.
I should be president, really. Or whatever the male equivalent of US-Presidency is.
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- a member for 6 years, 5 months and 8 days
- has posted 62 messages on the main board
- has posted 4 messages on the talk board
- has posted 1 messages on the links board
- (including 1 links)
- has posted 18 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 6 pictures, 1 links, 0 talk posts, and 14 qotw answers.
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I'm 21 years old, a fine malt of exceptional quality. The feel of me is smooth and silky, and my taste is fine, fully-flavoured and subtle.
I'm delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine.
I should be president, really. Or whatever the male equivalent of US-Presidency is.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Too much information
Dyslexia
Despite being dyslexic, I still managed to get into the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Now that's TMI.
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 12:56, More)
Dyslexia
Despite being dyslexic, I still managed to get into the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
Now that's TMI.
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 12:56, More)
» The Boss
Worst boss I ever had
This was a while back when I was working as a plumber for a summer job. Anyway, this boss was really old-school - bit of a dinosaur to tell the truth. Basically, to cut a long story short, it turned out the princess was in another castle.
I was livid.
(Thu 18th Jun 2009, 23:59, More)
Worst boss I ever had
This was a while back when I was working as a plumber for a summer job. Anyway, this boss was really old-school - bit of a dinosaur to tell the truth. Basically, to cut a long story short, it turned out the princess was in another castle.
I was livid.
(Thu 18th Jun 2009, 23:59, More)
» Old People Talk Bollocks
My granda's a fantastic bloke
but I'll never forget the time we were out camping and he pointed to the sky, with a look of admiration in his face, as if he were about to make some poignant comment about existence (he trained as a priest), and all he said was, "That cloud looks like a penis. Look, it's a big cock in the sky *sigh*".
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 17:46, More)
My granda's a fantastic bloke
but I'll never forget the time we were out camping and he pointed to the sky, with a look of admiration in his face, as if he were about to make some poignant comment about existence (he trained as a priest), and all he said was, "That cloud looks like a penis. Look, it's a big cock in the sky *sigh*".
(Fri 12th Mar 2004, 17:46, More)
» Lies Your Parents Told You
My parents were just confusing
"What's syphilis?"
"It's the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach."
"What's a prostitute?"
"Like a catholic, except they worship a different God."
And after some confusion about the phrase "A twinkle in the milkman's eye",
*pointing at Milkman* "All those people are going to have babies?!"
"Depends on what milk they buy."
(Mon 19th Jan 2004, 17:46, More)
My parents were just confusing
"What's syphilis?"
"It's the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach."
"What's a prostitute?"
"Like a catholic, except they worship a different God."
And after some confusion about the phrase "A twinkle in the milkman's eye",
*pointing at Milkman* "All those people are going to have babies?!"
"Depends on what milk they buy."
(Mon 19th Jan 2004, 17:46, More)
» Teenage Crushes - Part Two
Don't tempt me, Frodo!
I'm what nature has deemed a "cheater", so my teenage crushes verged far and wide:
Elijah Wood. After Fellowship of the Ring came out, I went a bit mad, joined his fan club, bought and watched the Faculty (Ten pounds and two hours of my life I really should try and claim back). Oddest thing was, I was purportedly straight at the time and none of my friends thought my crush was particularly odd. Hm.
Daniela Denby-Ashe. I... words can't describe. I will marry her one day.
Hermione Granger. Not Emma Watson, you understand (though quite clearly, I would). No, I actually harboured the oddest feelings of affection for the young witchy minx. Maybe it was her swottishness, I don't know. My only fictional crush.
Luciana Paluzzi (played Fiona Volpe in Thunderball) - a google image search will tell you why. Actually, pretty much every Bond girl was definite crush territory back then (and now...). Famke Janssen in Goldeneye was another one who led my mind to some impure thoughts.
Tom Welling, Smallville. Though that might just be part of my Superman-fixation.
And of course, Seven of Nine.
(Wed 11th Nov 2009, 16:08, More)
Don't tempt me, Frodo!
I'm what nature has deemed a "cheater", so my teenage crushes verged far and wide:
Elijah Wood. After Fellowship of the Ring came out, I went a bit mad, joined his fan club, bought and watched the Faculty (Ten pounds and two hours of my life I really should try and claim back). Oddest thing was, I was purportedly straight at the time and none of my friends thought my crush was particularly odd. Hm.
Daniela Denby-Ashe. I... words can't describe. I will marry her one day.
Hermione Granger. Not Emma Watson, you understand (though quite clearly, I would). No, I actually harboured the oddest feelings of affection for the young witchy minx. Maybe it was her swottishness, I don't know. My only fictional crush.
Luciana Paluzzi (played Fiona Volpe in Thunderball) - a google image search will tell you why. Actually, pretty much every Bond girl was definite crush territory back then (and now...). Famke Janssen in Goldeneye was another one who led my mind to some impure thoughts.
Tom Welling, Smallville. Though that might just be part of my Superman-fixation.
And of course, Seven of Nine.
(Wed 11th Nov 2009, 16:08, More)