Little sod just won't stay tuned in.

(Wed 1st Dec 2004, 10:49, More)

Awww, bless...

(Mon 12th Jul 2004, 12:03, More)

Croakin' Joe, smoothest bass player in the rainforest:

(Tue 20th Jan 2004, 20:22, More)

Technocat:

(Sun 4th Jan 2004, 0:34, More)

Miaow.

(Sat 20th Dec 2003, 0:08, More)

Go doggy go!

(Fri 19th Sep 2003, 16:10, More)

Had to get it out of my system.

(Tue 22nd Jul 2003, 22:21, More)

The cat reminded me of Wilf.

(Fri 27th Jun 2003, 22:11, More)

Trout are freshwater fish...

(Thu 12th Jun 2003, 23:20, More)

The terrible truth behind cabbage.

(Sun 18th May 2003, 22:42, More)

» Worst Record Ever

American Pie, by Don McLean
I used to DJ at one of our university's students-get-pissed-and-cop-off nights. The regulars always requested it, about ten times a night, and we always had to play it. It was the night's No.1 cheezy anthem.
The tone-deaf morons who usually swayed around whilst it was playing, in big "besht-mate" circles, occasionally got a little rowdy. On the last night I played it out, one of these drunken gangs bounced onto the lovely beer stained drapes, and pulled the suspended ceiling down, light fittings and all, on everybody's heads.
No-one died, but it was a close thing.
It's a godawful song, maybe not quite as bad, in absolute terms, as "Lady in Red", but then no-one ever threatened to hit me for not playing Chris De Burgh. I gave up being a DJ after university. And no I haven't got any fucking ABBA.
(Tue 2nd Dec 2003, 19:55, More)

» School Trips

Food poisoning.
On our second year high-school French trip the entire party of about 100 or so kids and teachers got food poisoning, full-on vomiting everywhere, raging diarrhoea, unable to move for two days food poisoning. There was only one teacher who didn't get sick. It was carnage. One of the lads I was sharing a room with threw up on my bed whilst I was in it because he couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough.

I would have felt sorry for the hotel staff who had to clean up after us, if it wasn't for the fact that they were the same bastards who poisoned us in the first place. Still, it got us out of actually having to speak any French. We spent the rest of the week pissing about at country parks and doing no work at all.
(Thu 7th Dec 2006, 13:44, More)

» Walkman Flashbacks

Orbital's 'In Sides'
instantly takes me back to playing Descent (the first one) over and over again. I feel like I should strafe about watching for flying mining robots Gone Bad whenever I hear it.
(Fri 25th Mar 2005, 16:57, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

A friend of mine
once smacked Shane McGowan in the face.
It was an accident, and Shane didn't seem to mind much. He just said "Sorry" to my friend, and wobbled off into the distance whilst we stood around gawping.
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 13:06, More)

» People with Stupid Names

Oh yeah.
www.touchnottingham.com/comdir/cditem.cfm/15961
The solicitor named Rupert Bear is a personal favourite of mine. He does a lot of divorce cases apparently.
(Fri 27th Aug 2004, 10:12, More)