Profile for 835Rocks:
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- a member for 20 years, 7 months and 28 days
- has posted 104 messages on the main board
- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 242 messages on the links board
- (including 54 links)
- has posted 6 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
- They liked 269 pictures, 378 links, 0 talk posts, and 9 qotw answers.
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Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke
Waiter waiter!
I'll have a crocodile sandwich and hurry the fuck up!
(Tue 8th May 2018, 21:15, More)
Waiter waiter!
I'll have a crocodile sandwich and hurry the fuck up!
(Tue 8th May 2018, 21:15, More)
» Have you ever seen a dead body?
Frilly hat
Many moons ago I thought that it might be a good idea to train as a nurse. It wasn't, but of course I saw some colourful things while I was working in the hospital. Having miraculously completed my Elderly Care placement without seeing a single stiffy, I started my stint on the obstetrics (pregnant ladies) unit.
One hung-over morning, after a breakfast of coffee and fags, I stumbled merrily into the sluice room to see a surreal spectacle. A photographer stood grasping his camera and watching in disbelief as a nurse positioned the fat purple body of a baby on the floor. This baby had died inside its poor mother days before being extracted from her abdomen in an emergency procedure. The mother's immune system had reacted against the internal corpse and its skin was peeling and blistered and had the colours of rotting plums. Sad and horrible in itself, but it was the unit's policy to photograph all dead babies, in case the parents asked for a copy at some point in the future. For the hellish photo shoot, the little cadaver had been dressed in a frilly white gown and a tiny doily of a hat, adding just enough bizarre humour to sharpen the horror. The nurse and the vacant photographer were discussing how to keep the baby's blackened mouth closed long enough for the grotesque picture to be taken. [Shudder]
(Thu 28th Feb 2008, 11:22, More)
Frilly hat
Many moons ago I thought that it might be a good idea to train as a nurse. It wasn't, but of course I saw some colourful things while I was working in the hospital. Having miraculously completed my Elderly Care placement without seeing a single stiffy, I started my stint on the obstetrics (pregnant ladies) unit.
One hung-over morning, after a breakfast of coffee and fags, I stumbled merrily into the sluice room to see a surreal spectacle. A photographer stood grasping his camera and watching in disbelief as a nurse positioned the fat purple body of a baby on the floor. This baby had died inside its poor mother days before being extracted from her abdomen in an emergency procedure. The mother's immune system had reacted against the internal corpse and its skin was peeling and blistered and had the colours of rotting plums. Sad and horrible in itself, but it was the unit's policy to photograph all dead babies, in case the parents asked for a copy at some point in the future. For the hellish photo shoot, the little cadaver had been dressed in a frilly white gown and a tiny doily of a hat, adding just enough bizarre humour to sharpen the horror. The nurse and the vacant photographer were discussing how to keep the baby's blackened mouth closed long enough for the grotesque picture to be taken. [Shudder]
(Thu 28th Feb 2008, 11:22, More)
» Books
Plug of my own book warning!
The Book of Magic Bollocks, by me, seems to be going down well with the yoofs. However, it has the strap line "All magicians are wankers" so The Magic Circle don't like it much... Fuck 'em.
My favourite novel has got to be A Confederation of Dunces. Sprawling plot lines, great characters, piss funny.
Least favourite, The Lovely Bones (pile of dogshit that was).
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 15:09, More)
Plug of my own book warning!
The Book of Magic Bollocks, by me, seems to be going down well with the yoofs. However, it has the strap line "All magicians are wankers" so The Magic Circle don't like it much... Fuck 'em.
My favourite novel has got to be A Confederation of Dunces. Sprawling plot lines, great characters, piss funny.
Least favourite, The Lovely Bones (pile of dogshit that was).
(Fri 6th Jan 2012, 15:09, More)
» Performance
Me as The Great Sebastiano
Struggling at first, but they start to thaw for the big finish...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1yA-tQWPB0&feature=player_embedded
(Fri 19th Aug 2011, 15:32, More)
Me as The Great Sebastiano
Struggling at first, but they start to thaw for the big finish...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1yA-tQWPB0&feature=player_embedded
(Fri 19th Aug 2011, 15:32, More)