Profile for The Mighty Gusset:
I REALLY DO NEED TO UPDATE THIS !
Chunks of it aren't even true any more !
I don't come on here that often these days, I seem to spend far too much of my life on BATracer ;
http://batracer.com/-1FrontPage.htm?Sj1
Bloke.
Tired.
Not getting any younger.
And if anyone thinks I'm a bit too sick and cynical;
I live in Coventry (this is one of the bits that isn't true !)
And don't update my profile nearly often enough.
As you can tell !
My MSN account expired bloody ages ago, taking loads of my stuff with it.
I don't really care though - it was all rubbish !
*LUNCH IS A SERIOUS MATTER*
I really do cook all the lunches I enter into Lunch Of The Day
This is one of my favourites
Slow (Very Slow as in 6 hours) Roasted Lamb Shanks in Madeira and Red Wine (A bottle and a half of the stuff for 3 shanks) with Rosemary and Garlic.
Served on a bed of Garlic and Cheese Mashed Potatoes
with Savoy Cabbage and Green Beans
Inspired by events and Bill Bailey at Warwick Arts Centre.
Made this following a conversation in the pub one Sunday night.
This lived in my head for years until I did something about it.
It's what springs to mind whenever I hear the word :
PANDEMONIUM !
Then the RSPCA sent me a mailshot and everything went Fluffy !
A reponse:
I was amused by the idea of the Japanese replacing standard "Blue Screen of Death" messages with Haiku.
Chavbike !
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 2 months and 27 days
- has posted 5053 messages on the main board
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 4 messages on the links board
- has posted 8 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 213 pictures, 3 links, 0 talk posts, and 16 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
I REALLY DO NEED TO UPDATE THIS !
Chunks of it aren't even true any more !
I don't come on here that often these days, I seem to spend far too much of my life on BATracer ;
http://batracer.com/-1FrontPage.htm?Sj1
Bloke.
Tired.
Not getting any younger.
And if anyone thinks I'm a bit too sick and cynical;
I live in Coventry (this is one of the bits that isn't true !)
And don't update my profile nearly often enough.
As you can tell !
My MSN account expired bloody ages ago, taking loads of my stuff with it.
I don't really care though - it was all rubbish !
*LUNCH IS A SERIOUS MATTER*
I really do cook all the lunches I enter into Lunch Of The Day
This is one of my favourites
Slow (Very Slow as in 6 hours) Roasted Lamb Shanks in Madeira and Red Wine (A bottle and a half of the stuff for 3 shanks) with Rosemary and Garlic.
Served on a bed of Garlic and Cheese Mashed Potatoes
with Savoy Cabbage and Green Beans
Inspired by events and Bill Bailey at Warwick Arts Centre.
Made this following a conversation in the pub one Sunday night.
This lived in my head for years until I did something about it.
It's what springs to mind whenever I hear the word :
PANDEMONIUM !
Then the RSPCA sent me a mailshot and everything went Fluffy !
A reponse:
I was amused by the idea of the Japanese replacing standard "Blue Screen of Death" messages with Haiku.
Chavbike !
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Breakin' The Law
I spent about a year as a Postman
Every morning, about 4.30am I 'd set off to walk the 4 miles or so into the sorting office in Coventry city centre.
Every now and again (it happened about a dozen times) the plod would stop me and ask me what I was doing.
Bearing in mind I'm in full postie uniform and carrying a Big Red Sack I'd have thought it fairly obvious.
On the last occasion it happened I'd had a bad night and wasn't in the best of moods.
Cock in a cop car followed me for about 200 yards before pulling alongside.
"Oy ! You mate. Mind telling me where you're going at this time of the morning ?"
"Sorry Officer, but you've heard of Female Impersonators ? Well I'm a Royal Mail Impersonator"
"You What ?"
"I like to dress up in a Postie uniform and walk around the streets in the early hours."
"Are you taking the piss ?"
"You Fucking started it !"
Needless to say I got nicked !
In the car :
"You are under arrest for impersonating an employee of the Crown, anything you say etc........ Do you have anything to say ?"
"Yes - Ouch ! Ouch ! Bastard Coppers, Stop Hitting Me ! - Now, write that down !"
Got a laugh down the station and I got a morning off work.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 12:47, More)
I spent about a year as a Postman
Every morning, about 4.30am I 'd set off to walk the 4 miles or so into the sorting office in Coventry city centre.
Every now and again (it happened about a dozen times) the plod would stop me and ask me what I was doing.
Bearing in mind I'm in full postie uniform and carrying a Big Red Sack I'd have thought it fairly obvious.
On the last occasion it happened I'd had a bad night and wasn't in the best of moods.
Cock in a cop car followed me for about 200 yards before pulling alongside.
"Oy ! You mate. Mind telling me where you're going at this time of the morning ?"
"Sorry Officer, but you've heard of Female Impersonators ? Well I'm a Royal Mail Impersonator"
"You What ?"
"I like to dress up in a Postie uniform and walk around the streets in the early hours."
"Are you taking the piss ?"
"You Fucking started it !"
Needless to say I got nicked !
In the car :
"You are under arrest for impersonating an employee of the Crown, anything you say etc........ Do you have anything to say ?"
"Yes - Ouch ! Ouch ! Bastard Coppers, Stop Hitting Me ! - Now, write that down !"
Got a laugh down the station and I got a morning off work.
(Thu 8th Jan 2004, 12:47, More)
» Pet Names
I used to have a cat called Diesel
so called because he purred like a London Taxi.
He was completely mental,
he could detect a packet of cheese and onion crisps being opened from half a mile away (note: only cheese and onion)
He once managed to fight his way into my oven and remove and eat a whole roast(ing at Gas mk 6 ) chicken.
He'd also run headlong into glass doors.
Also. Not mine, but a mate had a Rottweiler called "Arnie" but it was soft and stupid so got renamed "Fluffy" - he seemed much happier with his new name !
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 14:18, More)
I used to have a cat called Diesel
so called because he purred like a London Taxi.
He was completely mental,
he could detect a packet of cheese and onion crisps being opened from half a mile away (note: only cheese and onion)
He once managed to fight his way into my oven and remove and eat a whole roast(ing at Gas mk 6 ) chicken.
He'd also run headlong into glass doors.
Also. Not mine, but a mate had a Rottweiler called "Arnie" but it was soft and stupid so got renamed "Fluffy" - he seemed much happier with his new name !
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 14:18, More)
» Accidental innuendo
Watching a local Ladies Football Match
(Well, sometimes you have to !)
Two players collide and one gets her knee nicely sliced open.
"Oooh !" says my mate "She's got a Nasty Gash"
"Yep, and now she's got a badly cut knee too !"
says me.
Cue falling around giggling !
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 16:43, More)
Watching a local Ladies Football Match
(Well, sometimes you have to !)
Two players collide and one gets her knee nicely sliced open.
"Oooh !" says my mate "She's got a Nasty Gash"
"Yep, and now she's got a badly cut knee too !"
says me.
Cue falling around giggling !
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 16:43, More)
» Crappy Prizes
Shit Prize
I entered a competition in the Coventry Citizen (Free Newspaper) to win tickets to see David Bowie.
I won second prize.
A Heaven 17 album !
I poured boiling water on it and made it into a plant pot holder.
(Sat 6th Aug 2005, 11:16, More)
Shit Prize
I entered a competition in the Coventry Citizen (Free Newspaper) to win tickets to see David Bowie.
I won second prize.
A Heaven 17 album !
I poured boiling water on it and made it into a plant pot holder.
(Sat 6th Aug 2005, 11:16, More)
» Foot in Mouth Syndrome
I have a mate
called "Brain Dead Brian"
which was all fine and dandy till his dad died of a brain haemorrhage.
I managed to remember not to call him by his nickname for about a week.
Then, one night, not long after the funeral, a group of us were in the pub, and in walks Brian.
"Ey-up, here comes Brain Dead - where've you been hiding ?"
says I.
We're still mates.
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 9:50, More)
I have a mate
called "Brain Dead Brian"
which was all fine and dandy till his dad died of a brain haemorrhage.
I managed to remember not to call him by his nickname for about a week.
Then, one night, not long after the funeral, a group of us were in the pub, and in walks Brian.
"Ey-up, here comes Brain Dead - where've you been hiding ?"
says I.
We're still mates.
(Fri 23rd Apr 2004, 9:50, More)