Profile for Smallbrainfield:
I still love b3ta, but sadly filters at work render most images unviewable these days, even at lunchtimes. So I'm not here as much as I'd like to be.
One day, I will buy some webspace when I'm not busy paying for kitchens and kids and stuff.
Visit my terrible blog by clicking here.
Or come and find me on Flickr by clicking here.
Classic Smallbrainfield from when I used to be funny available here.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 6 years, 2 months and 8 days
- has posted 6173 messages on the main board
- (of which 71 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 11 messages on the talk board
- has posted 104 messages on the links board
- (including 21 links)
- has posted 41 stories and 22 replies on question of the week
- They liked 782 pictures, 79 links, 1 talk posts, and 60 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
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I still love b3ta, but sadly filters at work render most images unviewable these days, even at lunchtimes. So I'm not here as much as I'd like to be. One day, I will buy some webspace when I'm not busy paying for kitchens and kids and stuff. Visit my terrible blog by clicking here. Or come and find me on Flickr by clicking here.Classic Smallbrainfield from when I used to be funny available here.
Recent front page messages:
ITV job cuts hit hard.
Click here for 1600 x 1200 wallpaper of the last frame.
Visit my piss-poor blog here for other stuff.
(Wed 4th Mar 2009, 11:23, More)
Click here for 1600 x 1200 wallpaper of the last frame.
Visit my piss-poor blog here for other stuff.
(Wed 4th Mar 2009, 11:23, More)
The light that burns twice as bright
Poor old Jade. I was in two minds about posting this, as it is in rather bad taste.
(Tue 3rd Mar 2009, 13:30, More)
Poor old Jade. I was in two minds about posting this, as it is in rather bad taste.
(Tue 3rd Mar 2009, 13:30, More)
Make-up.
Hmmm. Probably shouldn't post an irresponsible image like this at half term.
Never ever put a plastic bag over your head, kids.
Even if it's raining.
(Tue 17th Feb 2009, 12:54, More)
Hmmm. Probably shouldn't post an irresponsible image like this at half term.
Never ever put a plastic bag over your head, kids.
Even if it's raining.
(Tue 17th Feb 2009, 12:54, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Stuff I've found
I once found a bloodstained five-pound note when I was a kid.
(A fiver to a twelve year old kid in the eighties was serious wonga, I hasten to add.)
I like to imagine it fluttered out of the hand of some dying criminal, shot to bits by rival gangsters, then dumped in an alley.
With his last breath, his life flashing before him, he realises ruefully that all his life he has been alone, never truly able to trust anyone. On the cusp of the yawing abyss of oblivion, he regards the bloody five pound note as it flutters out of his weakening grasp.
Well, it could have been that, or somebody might have dropped it coming out of the butchers shop down the road.
I spent it on sweets, probably.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:08, More)
I once found a bloodstained five-pound note when I was a kid.
(A fiver to a twelve year old kid in the eighties was serious wonga, I hasten to add.)
I like to imagine it fluttered out of the hand of some dying criminal, shot to bits by rival gangsters, then dumped in an alley.
With his last breath, his life flashing before him, he realises ruefully that all his life he has been alone, never truly able to trust anyone. On the cusp of the yawing abyss of oblivion, he regards the bloody five pound note as it flutters out of his weakening grasp.
Well, it could have been that, or somebody might have dropped it coming out of the butchers shop down the road.
I spent it on sweets, probably.
(Thu 6th Nov 2008, 13:08, More)
» School Sports Day
Rugby
Never much of a sporting type, I tended to stand as far away from the action as possible during sport.
Anyway, during a rugby match, I'm standing there minding my own business when I became aware of a sound like distant thunder approaching. It was the biggest lad in our year, a stocky mass of athlete and testosterone so thick there was actually a haze round him.
He had the ball and was approaching fast, so as he reached me I simply stepped to one side, letting him roar past. Great, I thought, I can get on with staring into space while he scores a try for his side.
The PE teacher was actually an alright sort as PE teachers go, but he was having none of this and stopped the match. Size, he explained, was no handicap to playing sport. He got the big lad to stand holding the ball and told me to tackle him.
I might as well have tried to fell a lamp-post. I ran full tilt and dived at his legs, only to spin round them like a horseshoe round a post.
The PE teacher actually slapped his hand on his forehead in disbelief, decided to cut his losses and resumed the match, and I got to go back to staring into space again.
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 12:21, More)
Rugby
Never much of a sporting type, I tended to stand as far away from the action as possible during sport.
Anyway, during a rugby match, I'm standing there minding my own business when I became aware of a sound like distant thunder approaching. It was the biggest lad in our year, a stocky mass of athlete and testosterone so thick there was actually a haze round him.
He had the ball and was approaching fast, so as he reached me I simply stepped to one side, letting him roar past. Great, I thought, I can get on with staring into space while he scores a try for his side.
The PE teacher was actually an alright sort as PE teachers go, but he was having none of this and stopped the match. Size, he explained, was no handicap to playing sport. He got the big lad to stand holding the ball and told me to tackle him.
I might as well have tried to fell a lamp-post. I ran full tilt and dived at his legs, only to spin round them like a horseshoe round a post.
The PE teacher actually slapped his hand on his forehead in disbelief, decided to cut his losses and resumed the match, and I got to go back to staring into space again.
(Fri 31st Mar 2006, 12:21, More)
» Top Tips
When you cook spaghetti,
hold the spaghetti with one hand and stand it in the centre of the water. Twist the spaghetti with the other hand and let go. The spaghetti will fall fairly evenly around the pan and as it heats up, will gradually get sucked into the water.
It's quite spooky to watch it do this, but then again, I'm very easily amused.
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 13:37, More)
When you cook spaghetti,
hold the spaghetti with one hand and stand it in the centre of the water. Twist the spaghetti with the other hand and let go. The spaghetti will fall fairly evenly around the pan and as it heats up, will gradually get sucked into the water.
It's quite spooky to watch it do this, but then again, I'm very easily amused.
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 13:37, More)
» Worst Nicknames Ever
John West
A lad at college was known as John West, because his mates caught him with tinned salmon smeared on his cock.
He was letting the cat lick it off when they walked in his room unannounced.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 22:33, More)
John West
A lad at college was known as John West, because his mates caught him with tinned salmon smeared on his cock.
He was letting the cat lick it off when they walked in his room unannounced.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 22:33, More)