b3ta.com user Naughty Tortoise
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» I was drunk when I bought this

A tombstone.
With the enscription:

"braaaaaaiiiins"

1978-?

They thought we'd been drowning our sorrows, and we convinced them 'Brains' was our friends nickname. With the aid of a fake will

Apparently it's very unusual to ask to take a tombstone with you once you've had it inscribed.

We planted it on a roundabout, it was gone within a few days.
£217, incase you were wondering
(Fri 10th Jun 2005, 4:05, More)

» Teenage Poetry

Potatoes
"I am a potato
I live in the soil
I like potatoes they make chips"

Wrote in infants school, I got a sticker with a picture of a mole on for writing it

No, this isn't teenage poetry but I don't care
Childhood poetry is infinitely more entertaining*

*less embarrassing
(Thu 11th Aug 2005, 17:11, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Hiking
Good friend of mine is very heavily into his hiking so (mainly to shut him up) me and another friend decided to go with him.

After several hours of 'come onnn, you tired?' we got sick of him, so every snack/toilet break we'd add one medium sized stone to his bag.

He didn't get tired. But it sure made fucking hiking more interesting for the two of us.
(Thu 12th May 2005, 1:49, More)