» My sex misconceptions

An extra pocket
I thought a woman could put anything she wanted in her vagina and it was like God had given her an extra pocket for some reason. I was kind of jealous. A woman would never lose her car keys because they could always be in between her legs. There is a menagerie of different items that can go in a vagina, and being on the internet I seen most of them, but car keys is not one of them.
Maybe that is the newest fetish site...Dibs on the profit!
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 17:51, More)

» My sex misconceptions

Flavored man juice
I was informed by an my father as well as my uncle that eating certain foods would change the way your semen tastes.

Que me drinking nothing but cranberry juice, 64oz a day, for two weeks.

She said it didn't taste any different.

Then I heard something about pineapple juice.

Rinse, repeat.

Still no noticeable change.

I couldn't be bothered to eat celery solidly for a week, so that one has yet to be tested.

Apparently eating a lot of meat DOES make your spunk taste more foul than usual.

Also, eating a lot of protein helps to produce more seminal fluid, which provides for a more copious burst of fluids. Does it work?

I drank a half pint of egg whites in three big gulps. I became very gassy. I then drank three small sips of egg whites, every day, for two weeks.

No noticeable change in amount of man-mayo.

I am going to experiment with certain medical dyes to try and turn my white stuff blue!

Stay Tuned faithful readers.

Length and width are closely related to this post in mass and volume.
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 17:37, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

My mom's mom is very self conscience(spl?) about all things personal,
and extremely more so about bodily functions. So one night her son, my uncle, is over to the house for dinner. Gran lives with us so it's a rather big dinner with the three kids, me included, Mom, Uncle, Gran, and mom's boy friend. My Uncle thought the best thing to do in this wholesome family situation, is to put a little device in gran's purse, which she has on the back of her chair. This device makes noises that sound like someone farting. It does this on command by remote. So here we are, eating away, chit chatting about this and that when all of the sudden we hear *poot*. My gran gets this look on her face like one of us has dogs crawling out of our nose. She appologizes as my uncle chides her for being gross. Then it happens again. This time the kids chide her as she turns bright red and apologises profusely. Then again. She keeps on apologising as the noises keep emminating from her purse and we all are laughing because she can't tell that she isn't actually making the sounds herself. We all had a good laugh and she never found out about the little device.

She is a wonderful old woman and I love her dearly. Nicest lady you ever met, but kind of losing it now.

[edit] this really isn't about anything she said, some much as something funny that happened to her. I could delete it but I think it's funny anyways, so I won't.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 17:25, More)

» Pointless Experiments

I also tried being blind once
I was a wee pup and I figured I had lived in my house long enough to know the floor plan like the back of my hand. It was the middle of the night and I awoke with an urgent need to pee. I got out of bed, closed my eyes and walked to the bathroom. I kept my eyes closed and started to pee into the toilet. What I didn't notice was how my bathroom suddenly had carpet. I did notice that the water in my toilet had been replaced with something fabric-y. I opened my eyes to find that I was peeing in my dirty clothes hamper. I hadn't even made it out my room!

I haven't tried being blind since then, the embarrassment is still felt every time I walk by my hamper.
(Sat 26th Jul 2008, 15:08, More)

» Claims to Fame

I'm Friends with Super Mario
The fellow who does the voices for Mario, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi, and Baby Mario lives nearby and comes into my work (grocery store). We got to chatting and have become quite chums. Even got his autograph.
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 19:24, More)