Profile for acharps:
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- a member for 20 years, 5 months and 29 days
- has posted 4 messages on the main board
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- has posted 19 stories and 18 replies on question of the week
- They liked 40 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 40 qotw answers.
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hi
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Shoddy Presents
No present, just a card
My mum turns 40 on Saturday. She divorced my dad last April after running off with some bloke.
The genius that my dad is, saw this card and had to send it to her.
It had a picture of a woman, who was too drunk to stand up on the front, and the writing.
"Get me another drink, he's still too ugly"
utter genius
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 23:48, More)
No present, just a card
My mum turns 40 on Saturday. She divorced my dad last April after running off with some bloke.
The genius that my dad is, saw this card and had to send it to her.
It had a picture of a woman, who was too drunk to stand up on the front, and the writing.
"Get me another drink, he's still too ugly"
utter genius
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 23:48, More)
» The worst sex I ever had
Sex by Accident...
This is not one of my own stories, but 1 of a friend in Magaluf. I won't tell the story, but instead quote the man himself from the day afterward....
"Well i was grinding with this girl, and she pulled by cock out. She was tossing me off, and I was thinking "this is alright!". But then I noticed it felt a bit different, and after about 5 seconds, I realised I was inside her, which confused me a bit. So I pulled out"
No apologies for length, but I'm a bit sorry about the girth. And the smell.
(Mon 18th Jun 2007, 13:37, More)
Sex by Accident...
This is not one of my own stories, but 1 of a friend in Magaluf. I won't tell the story, but instead quote the man himself from the day afterward....
"Well i was grinding with this girl, and she pulled by cock out. She was tossing me off, and I was thinking "this is alright!". But then I noticed it felt a bit different, and after about 5 seconds, I realised I was inside her, which confused me a bit. So I pulled out"
No apologies for length, but I'm a bit sorry about the girth. And the smell.
(Mon 18th Jun 2007, 13:37, More)
» Now, there was no need for that...
not me, very fortunately
2 or 3 years ago, a friend of mine was training for his sunday league team, and took a football to the nose at a thunderous speed. He was sent "not rushed) to hospital, and diagnosed with a broken nose, which needed much rest, and so he couldn't play football.
The next day was a sunday, and he reluctantly stood on the sidelines to watch the game.
Lets just say that someone didn't add insult to injury, merely added injury to further injury. He has to wait 2 more years before he can have the corrective surgery....
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 9:48, More)
not me, very fortunately
2 or 3 years ago, a friend of mine was training for his sunday league team, and took a football to the nose at a thunderous speed. He was sent "not rushed) to hospital, and diagnosed with a broken nose, which needed much rest, and so he couldn't play football.
The next day was a sunday, and he reluctantly stood on the sidelines to watch the game.
Lets just say that someone didn't add insult to injury, merely added injury to further injury. He has to wait 2 more years before he can have the corrective surgery....
(Thu 16th Jun 2005, 9:48, More)
» Pet Peeves
FAO people from the West Country
Where is it?
Not a particularly hard question to ask, you may think. Not for those from the West.
"where's it to?" Is not a sentence! I want to stab you for your illiteracy and incoherence!
(Tue 6th May 2008, 15:05, More)
FAO people from the West Country
Where is it?
Not a particularly hard question to ask, you may think. Not for those from the West.
"where's it to?" Is not a sentence! I want to stab you for your illiteracy and incoherence!
(Tue 6th May 2008, 15:05, More)
» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade
phone shops, and the ACP's
hmmm, where to begin...
now i don't work at the worst of phone shops for bastadry, (the 1 with the hand signals, if you know what i mean), but the other one. But we still sink quite low.
ACP- also known as Actual Customer pronography. Ever wondered how all of those video's of girls in the nuddy get spread? Probably sent it to repair with us.
On the other hand, we get alot of girls come in, give us their phone to repair and make sure we know that they are nice and in ze buff on their phone. schlags.
(Sat 29th Sep 2007, 21:08, More)
phone shops, and the ACP's
hmmm, where to begin...
now i don't work at the worst of phone shops for bastadry, (the 1 with the hand signals, if you know what i mean), but the other one. But we still sink quite low.
ACP- also known as Actual Customer pronography. Ever wondered how all of those video's of girls in the nuddy get spread? Probably sent it to repair with us.
On the other hand, we get alot of girls come in, give us their phone to repair and make sure we know that they are nice and in ze buff on their phone. schlags.
(Sat 29th Sep 2007, 21:08, More)