» Dad Jokes

on the subject of compliments..
MY dad would always say to my mum such gems as: 'your feet are like petals...bicycle petals' and 'your teeth are like stars....they come out at night' every day for about five years. Its since been replaced with his Everton jokes...'The police caught a man trying to climb over the walls at Goodison Park...so the threw him back in'....genius
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 17:12, More)

» My Worst Date

Can't remember the name of the bloke but...
Met a guy at local Birmingham rock club (well, it was back in the day...) Snobs, where the foulest vodka in the world is served for 50p a shot which quite obviously leads to embarrasing and awkward situations. Arranged to meet him in my local that week as it was a few days to Valentine's day and I was a bit desperate. Didn't recognise him at first (always a good start) then proceeded to have the worst conversations with him ever. Started with him saying how he didn't usually drink beer because it gave him wind, but that he was going to do it anyway (didn't I feel honoured?). Conversations then ranged awkwardly the only theme being our complete lack of ability to agree on any subject mainly because I found him really annoying...at one stage I found myself defending Matthew Kelly against the peadophilia accusations (why? Just beacuse I felt compelled to disagree with him on every subject...), and the evening culminated in me saying i had to leave (about 30 minutes after I'd arrived) beacuse I had really bad period pains. He was so concerned I felt quite bad about it. But obviously not bad enough to actually stay...
(Wed 27th Oct 2004, 9:43, More)