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- a member for 20 years, 5 months and 0 days
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» My Worst Date
the cutest girl in the world
I fancied this girl at school for years. She was in the year above me, and I always went really shy around her.
To cut a long story short, I asked her for a date. We went to the cinema. I picked one that looked arty (to impress).
It was called "Quills". It was about the incarceration of the Marquis de Sade. I have hazy memories of Geoffrey Rush drawing in faeces on the walls of his cell.
I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
(Mon 25th Oct 2004, 21:41, More)
the cutest girl in the world
I fancied this girl at school for years. She was in the year above me, and I always went really shy around her.
To cut a long story short, I asked her for a date. We went to the cinema. I picked one that looked arty (to impress).
It was called "Quills". It was about the incarceration of the Marquis de Sade. I have hazy memories of Geoffrey Rush drawing in faeces on the walls of his cell.
I have never been so embarrassed in my life.
(Mon 25th Oct 2004, 21:41, More)
» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!
Working in a posh bar in Nottingham
means that I get to serve pretentious wankers all the time.
How hard is it to say 'please'??
One fine summer's day the pissed-up winner of the UK-indoor-dickhead-championships swaggers to the bar shouting through a lot of customers who have been waiting longer.
to shut him up; "what can I get you, paul?"
the most ridiculous over blown order involving running around the building to find dom perignon, extra bottles of gin, black sambuca, slimline tonic water, cocktails, crushed ice, and so on.
"take a seat, i'll pop it over for you"
tell the waitress, here's such and such, blah blah, and three gin and tonics, *this one is for paul*...
i'd dipped my sweaty hairy nuts into his drink
simple, but effective
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 12:06, More)
Working in a posh bar in Nottingham
means that I get to serve pretentious wankers all the time.
How hard is it to say 'please'??
One fine summer's day the pissed-up winner of the UK-indoor-dickhead-championships swaggers to the bar shouting through a lot of customers who have been waiting longer.
to shut him up; "what can I get you, paul?"
the most ridiculous over blown order involving running around the building to find dom perignon, extra bottles of gin, black sambuca, slimline tonic water, cocktails, crushed ice, and so on.
"take a seat, i'll pop it over for you"
tell the waitress, here's such and such, blah blah, and three gin and tonics, *this one is for paul*...
i'd dipped my sweaty hairy nuts into his drink
simple, but effective
(Fri 21st Jul 2006, 12:06, More)
» Old People Talk Bollocks
my grandmother
thinks that they put cartoons on telly so that the actors can have a break.
and she thinks that double glazing gives you lumps on your head because you need air to get through glass.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 19:07, More)
my grandmother
thinks that they put cartoons on telly so that the actors can have a break.
and she thinks that double glazing gives you lumps on your head because you need air to get through glass.
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 19:07, More)