» Shoddy Presents

i once got a girlfriend a pair of slippers and a dildo.
she said she didnt like the slippers.

i told her to go and fuck herself.

sorry
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 14:06, More)

» Shoddy Presents

good and bad i suppose
about ten years ago my dad had the brainwave of having a large picture taken of me, brother and sister for mum's xmas present. she opened it on xmas morning and was absolutely made up, we were staying in a hotel as we often did for xmas and she proceeded to show every single fucking person the picture, we were all in our teens so you can imagine the shame of having lots of old grannies swooning over the three of us.
anyway, mum was not the only person so taken with the picture, the photographer was also pretty fucking pleased with himself wasnt he, oh yes. he decided to display it in the window of his fucking shop didnt he, his shop that nearly half our fucking high school walked past every fucking morning. i cannot begin to tell of the utter shame me and my brother endured. despite our protests, mum and dad, thinking it was hillarious refused to call the shop and ask him to remove it.
i suppose it does mean we are all good looking!
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 13:32, More)

» Advice from Old People

I'm old

There are only two things in this world that smell like fish, and one of them is fish.
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 13:01, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

sorry (yes again)
a spacker walks up to an ice cream van
"mmnnnnngg can i have a 99' please mmnnnggg"
"sure you can, would you like chocolate sauce"?
"mmmnmnnnng it dosent matter, i am going to drop it anyway"!

man in a wheelchair orders a 99' from an ice cream van, the vendor says "crushed nuts"?
"no" says the man, "car crash"!
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 16:13, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

i am very sorry for this, really

what has 14 legs and a black cunt?



s club 7!
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 13:41, More)