» Puns

This one's mine...and I'm proud of it damnit.
I was asked to go to T.G.I. Friday's for dinner last week, but I refused on principle. My friend looked at me funny, and I explained to them that I could not go to somewhere called "Thank God It's Friday" and eat one of their burgers.

I believe in the separation of church and steak.
(Wed 11th Mar 2009, 13:15, More)

» Obscure Memorabilia

It has to be a toss up
in the crap memorabilia between two particularly shite things.
Firstly I have a copy of the Pokemon:Mewtwo Strikes Back comic part one which is signed by the voice actors of Ash,Brock and Misty. That's pretty lame I know.
Secondly I have a tic tac that was spat out of Rik Mayall's mouth during a Bottom live show (lost teeth=tic tacs) It's on the side somewhere. That's much better because partially salivated on mints rule,especially tic tacs. That and I can get the DNA from it and make a new Rik Mayall. Plus if I ever accidentally eat it it'll be ok,cause it's only 2 calories.
(Sat 6th Nov 2004, 8:57, More)

» Losing Your Virginity

I was 16
and the girl was a 24 year old model. I was soooooo moleste that she had to lie on the other side of the room and had aircraft lights going towards her

Entirely True

(apologies for lack of info, but g/f's mother is sat behind me watching Charmed and no matter what, i know the phrase "he was writing about the first girl he shagged" would get back and not sound well.
(Fri 4th Mar 2005, 11:49, More)

» Pure Ignorance

words cannot express his moronity
My friend, (who to protect his identity I will say his name is anything but Damon) comes out with the most monumentally retarded things. I'm scratching my head and annoyed I can only think of two because he can say some crackers.
My favourites have to be his insistance that the word psuedo is pronounced suede-o and the monumental moronity that he genuinely believed that Night of the living dead was based on actual events. He answers the phones at banks now, so now you know why they're so useless.
(Thu 13th Jan 2005, 10:14, More)

» Scars with history

Damn things
I have an inibility to get cool scars. I have one scar caused by injury. I've never particularly hurt myself before mind, crashed into a parked car before now (i was 6 and on bike, just to annihilate any thread of coolness in the statement). I've had a car door slammed on my hand and ran into glass doors, shattering them, nothing. I've slashed my hands on glass a few times, nothing. I have one, that's on my little finger. And I got it from crashing my bike
...into a wheelie bin

I was only turning my bike on the spot as well, wasn't even peddling the fucker.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 16:33, More)