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- a member for 20 years, 4 months and 4 days
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» Jobsworths
Jobsworths
My mate and I were on a train crossing the Swiss border. The Swiss border guards came up on us while my mate was whizzing his tits off on base amphetamine. He is also a real Lord, a peer of the realm despite appearances. The guard kept insisting he see more identification than his passport (which took too long and much clumsy speed-faffing to find) to corroborate his peerage. They also did all this in Swiss-German which is particualrly hard to follow. Jobsworth guard gave himself away as understanding english perfectly when my mate turned round and screamed "give me 5 fucking minutes you fucking neutral bastard-gold-hoarding-pedantic fucking snow nazi". In reply the jobsworth merely went white and wandered off in a daze... possibly to look up some words.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:04, More)
Jobsworths
My mate and I were on a train crossing the Swiss border. The Swiss border guards came up on us while my mate was whizzing his tits off on base amphetamine. He is also a real Lord, a peer of the realm despite appearances. The guard kept insisting he see more identification than his passport (which took too long and much clumsy speed-faffing to find) to corroborate his peerage. They also did all this in Swiss-German which is particualrly hard to follow. Jobsworth guard gave himself away as understanding english perfectly when my mate turned round and screamed "give me 5 fucking minutes you fucking neutral bastard-gold-hoarding-pedantic fucking snow nazi". In reply the jobsworth merely went white and wandered off in a daze... possibly to look up some words.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:04, More)
» Jobsworths
last one from me
true story of U.S 'justice' system.
A top U.S 'Lawyer' buys one of the world's most expensive boxes of cigars. Worth half a million. He insures them against FIRE and promptly smokes them, claiming the massive insurance payout. His claim being "they were destroyed in a series of small fires." nice Jobsworthery.
However the cigar merchants being richer employed a bigger jobsworth who manged to prosecute and JAIL the smarmy lawyer....for ARSON.
Jobsworths run your nations people. Lawyers are presidents and prime ministers...
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:27, More)
last one from me
true story of U.S 'justice' system.
A top U.S 'Lawyer' buys one of the world's most expensive boxes of cigars. Worth half a million. He insures them against FIRE and promptly smokes them, claiming the massive insurance payout. His claim being "they were destroyed in a series of small fires." nice Jobsworthery.
However the cigar merchants being richer employed a bigger jobsworth who manged to prosecute and JAIL the smarmy lawyer....for ARSON.
Jobsworths run your nations people. Lawyers are presidents and prime ministers...
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:27, More)
» Jobsworths
Jobsworth 2
During the height of the U.S authored global airport paranioa I was divested of a 12 inch long silver chain on the grounds that
"you could get that around someone's neck mate"
i replied
"that's right, you can. It's a necklace."
They were so contrite and amused they explained as I only had about 30 seconds or a minute to make my flight I could post it to myself, presumably from the hovering mobile post office that would maybe appear, or they could throw it away in the big open bin they kept next to them, or I could turn around. I had to throw it. It was solid silver and worth more than the flight and possibly their months wages. Unfortunately the wages for me at the other end were needed. I hope they sold it and had a good laugh at me while they drank the proceeds.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:21, More)
Jobsworth 2
During the height of the U.S authored global airport paranioa I was divested of a 12 inch long silver chain on the grounds that
"you could get that around someone's neck mate"
i replied
"that's right, you can. It's a necklace."
They were so contrite and amused they explained as I only had about 30 seconds or a minute to make my flight I could post it to myself, presumably from the hovering mobile post office that would maybe appear, or they could throw it away in the big open bin they kept next to them, or I could turn around. I had to throw it. It was solid silver and worth more than the flight and possibly their months wages. Unfortunately the wages for me at the other end were needed. I hope they sold it and had a good laugh at me while they drank the proceeds.
(Sun 15th May 2005, 14:21, More)