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I am the man who cleaved sinatra from the seven monkey men.

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» Impromptu Games You Play

pigeon swingball
The trick to pigeon swingball is the element of height.
you need two people and a gazzle of feeding 'geons. First person takes a wide berth and creeps to the otherside of the gazzle he then comes towards the 'geons but as soon as they start to 'coo' he stops and crouches down.
The other person now charges the 'geons, forcing them towards his crouching comrade. The birds, thinking that the crouching man is only 2 feet tall, fly comparably low over the crouchers head. If timed correctly it is a simple matter of choosing a bird, leaping in the air and punching it out of the air. However this game is suprisingly easy and me and my friend have never had the bottle to actually punch the birds. Weve tended stop just short, go wowww and light up.

i know this doesnt have much to do with swingball but thats such a great game it deserves to be in the title.
(Wed 31st Mar 2004, 10:18, More)

» Lost...

star wars.
I lost my sandman next to the pond.
(Fri 3rd Dec 2004, 10:28, More)

» Your Revenge Stories

clot wash
My flat mate turned out to be a baby eating witch who tried to kill me, so my girlfriend at the time wrung her saturated tampon into her shampoo. Even i found that offensive, so i burnt her 'painting' in the toilet and binned her.
I am now single...any offers?
(Fri 14th May 2004, 13:30, More)

» Petty Sabotage

well, it was a joke wasn't it?
My girl flat mate, who annoyed me, was getting back late one night so i took out all the light bulbs in the whole house, hid the tv and placed sharp objects all over the house; bins and bikes in the corridor etc. I came back to find her huddled in the dark clutching her ankle.

A while later i put 1p pieces in her all her bras. Between the padding and the outside.

I froze her knickers in the mixing bowl.

We did an art 'afternoon' once, which consisted of smoking and glueing magasines to paper in art-effect collages. Hers was rubbish-when she went out i took it off the wall and burnt it. In the toilet.

i sprinkled dry rice in her bed.

I do hope she saw the funny side.
(Tue 10th May 2005, 21:45, More)

» Slang Survey

insults
'Siamese survivor' is my insult of choice for a while
(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 18:00, More)
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