» My Worst Vomit

OK
Occasionally we have team meetings in the London office.

These generally finish at lunchtime - we then retire to the pub. The pub in question was doing a "buy two glasses of red wine, get the rest of the bottle thrown in free" offer.

Red wine it was. At 10 I decided I ought to make my way home having consumed more wine than we can remember, but it was a lot.

Needless to say I needed food so the BK at Waterloo fitted the bill, grabbed a meal thing and jumped on the train.

Stuffing chips down my neck I felt really really bad and before I could react I threw up into the BK bag. The bag burst and this mixture of red wine, chips, burger etc fell all over the floor, my trousers and my briefcase.

I moved along the train and tried to look interested in the passing darkness, hoping noone noticed it was me.

I later noticed the CCTV camera fitted in the carriage.. So somewhere there may be some footage of me heaving into an exploding bag...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 15:44, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

A group of us were at Alton Towers
and were going from one side to the other in that cable car thing. Being full of *fun!!??* I decided to leg it out of the car and hide around the first corner and jump out and frighten the girls in the group.

So as I heard approaching footsteps and girly voices I lept out and yelled something obscene at the top of my voice, only to see three somewhat frightened and bemused complete strangers...
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 15:06, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

I was sat in a busy office one day when one of the guys
who used to be an apprentice of mine came in.

He had three odd shapes shaved out of his short hair and I asked what the fuck he had done to his hair this time - everyone looked around to see the hairstyle.

His reply was "I'm having radiotherapy for a brain tumour and the shaved bits are where they administer the treatment."

Everyone then moved their gave from his head to me.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 15:00, More)

» Have you ever started a fire?

We found some blank rounds
on the army shooting ranges not far from where I lived as a kid. We hacksawed the ends off (!!!) and tipped out all the black powder. Took this back to the woods and tipped it into a small hollow in the ground. A lighted match was introduced to the pile and..... nothing happened. We looked in hollow and realsied nothing had happened. The (still glowing red hot but no flame) match was placed by my mate into the hollow while we were looking. Now it seems that a flame is not what black powder needs to get it to flare off - as the red hot bit ignited the powder. The flare removed our eyebrows, eyelashes, some hair from our fringes and gave us very red faces.

BTW we later set the caps off in the rounds by putting them in a vice and hitting a nail on them with a hammer. Resulting ringing in the ears was to be heard for hours after....
(Thu 4th Mar 2004, 12:16, More)

» World's Most Hated Food

Butter beans
not only do they stink but they tase worse than mushy peas.

Mushy peas are the work of the devil and are vile!
(Sun 18th Jul 2004, 19:55, More)