Profile for juniorsquire:
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Best answers to questions:
- a member for 7 years, 7 months and 17 days
- has posted 136 messages on the main board
- (of which 6 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 2 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
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Recent front page messages:
Henry the mindless drug hoover
Its the only reason i can come up with for their permanently frenzied grin
(Mon 27th May 2002, 18:44, More)
Its the only reason i can come up with for their permanently frenzied grin
(Mon 27th May 2002, 18:44, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Barred
persian rug
When I was about 17 I had a couple of friends over to my house for a night of drinking while my parents were away.
One guy passed out, so we thought it would be funny to sift flour onto his head.
Realising he'd been pranked he walked downstairs to the living room, and nonchalantly made himself throw up all over my parent's posh persian rug.
It was genius, but i was obliged to ban him for a week.
(Mon 4th Sep 2006, 21:23, More)
persian rug
When I was about 17 I had a couple of friends over to my house for a night of drinking while my parents were away.
One guy passed out, so we thought it would be funny to sift flour onto his head.
Realising he'd been pranked he walked downstairs to the living room, and nonchalantly made himself throw up all over my parent's posh persian rug.
It was genius, but i was obliged to ban him for a week.
(Mon 4th Sep 2006, 21:23, More)
» Top Tips
the "Button"
I'm not sure how widely known this is - I'm always surprised that it isn't gospel amongst men - but on the off chance you haven't heard of it, let me introduce The Button
My friend Matt discovered The Button... I'm not sure how, but he was known to wank a lot. At fourteen, he'd make VHS compilations of highlights from Eurotrash, and wank his little heart out, proud that he could even manage "three without a break".
You'd have thought all his pocket money would go on Kleenex... but no... he had a better technique:
Basically - at the point of orgasm, use your fingers to press down hard on your gooch (halfway betwixt sack and crack), for the duration of the cumming. Rather than shooting gallons of man spuff, you'll be lucky to even get one salty tear... and you'll still experience all the other feelings of euphoria, inner-peace and mild regret.
As horny teenagers, this was a revolutionary discovery. Think of all the hours saved walking to the bathroom to collect preparatory toilet roll. The shame you no longer have to feel when your mum glances at a bin that consists of one Toffee Crisp wrapper, and a mountain of yellowed tissue. The freedom to knock one out in any empty room, at any time... without the sticky consequences.
And as I got a bit older, and I could get intoxicated enough to talk to girls, the technique still had its benefits...
Like that time I got tossed off in my mate's room by the pale indie girl with big tits - got a little bit too excited - and still made it home with pants clean enough to eat your dinner off.
Or the brief moment of clarity, when I realised it was probably not the best idea to gush my slush up a young lady I'd just met in the corridoors of playa magaluf resort without a condom*
Anyway, because I have no idea of the long term implications of sending my seadogs on permanent diversion, I've long since given up the practise... but if you're caught in a tight spot, i'm sure no doctor would discourage you.
*technique does not stop the spread of chlamydia
**probably doesn't constitute birth control either
(Mon 18th May 2009, 20:34, More)
the "Button"
I'm not sure how widely known this is - I'm always surprised that it isn't gospel amongst men - but on the off chance you haven't heard of it, let me introduce The Button
My friend Matt discovered The Button... I'm not sure how, but he was known to wank a lot. At fourteen, he'd make VHS compilations of highlights from Eurotrash, and wank his little heart out, proud that he could even manage "three without a break".
You'd have thought all his pocket money would go on Kleenex... but no... he had a better technique:
Basically - at the point of orgasm, use your fingers to press down hard on your gooch (halfway betwixt sack and crack), for the duration of the cumming. Rather than shooting gallons of man spuff, you'll be lucky to even get one salty tear... and you'll still experience all the other feelings of euphoria, inner-peace and mild regret.
As horny teenagers, this was a revolutionary discovery. Think of all the hours saved walking to the bathroom to collect preparatory toilet roll. The shame you no longer have to feel when your mum glances at a bin that consists of one Toffee Crisp wrapper, and a mountain of yellowed tissue. The freedom to knock one out in any empty room, at any time... without the sticky consequences.
And as I got a bit older, and I could get intoxicated enough to talk to girls, the technique still had its benefits...
Like that time I got tossed off in my mate's room by the pale indie girl with big tits - got a little bit too excited - and still made it home with pants clean enough to eat your dinner off.
Or the brief moment of clarity, when I realised it was probably not the best idea to gush my slush up a young lady I'd just met in the corridoors of playa magaluf resort without a condom*
Anyway, because I have no idea of the long term implications of sending my seadogs on permanent diversion, I've long since given up the practise... but if you're caught in a tight spot, i'm sure no doctor would discourage you.
*technique does not stop the spread of chlamydia
**probably doesn't constitute birth control either
(Mon 18th May 2009, 20:34, More)