» Vandalism

Over ten years ago in Cardiff
Painted on a bridge (one of the Brains ones if you know what I'm talking about) was the simple slogan, "SATANS SYSTEM IS FINISHED".

To this day I wonder if it meant "finished" as in "complete, ready for use" or "beaten, done for, almost destroyed". Two opposing interpretations and I'll never know what the erstwhile artist was trying to tell me.
(Thu 7th Oct 2010, 16:49, More)

» Impromptu Games You Play

I am the creator
of "what socks I got?"

The game consists of me, my socks and some workmates. The key is the socks which have coloured toe bits, the rest is black. The players each places a bet on what the colour is before I remove my shoe. What was originally a spur of the moment contest continued for months, played everyday.

To make it more interesting there was extended play; I had odd socks on so two rounds. But sometimes they weren't odd, I'm tricky like that.

There was the added challenge of guessing when I was wearing normal uniform black socks.

PS. Socks with coloured bits on available from Tesco Extra. You get five pairs in a pack, all different!
(Wed 31st Mar 2004, 2:32, More)

» Vandalism

School, 1990, lunchtime.
A friend and I were eating jaffa cakes the PROPER way. Nibble the edges, peel off the chocolate, then the sponge. When we got to the jammy jaffa bit my friend flipped it in the air like a coin where it stuck fast to the ceiling. It stayed for at least 8 years.
(Mon 11th Oct 2010, 21:09, More)

» Old People Talk Bollocks

my gran was quite the catholic...
When in the nursing home and couldn't move anymore (gawd bless 'er sou') she asked to have a priest brought to her occassionally because she wanted to confess or whatever. Trouble was this guy was black! "A black priest!" I hear you cry, well maybe not we're open minded these days who gives a fig's steaming legacy? What's slightly ironic is after sending missonaries "over there" they're now coming back to convert us with our own faith.

Anyway after having a little talk with what was undoubtably a foreign man she commented "It's amazing what they can be taught these days isn't it".
(Thu 11th Mar 2004, 14:25, More)

» Pet Names

Long time lurker
We got a kitten years ago that was quite grey + shiney, almost silver! So she was cutely named Lucy Locket.
Upon taking her to the vet to have her tubes cut it was discovered Lucy was a boy (the usual story) and so a new name had to be thunk. Hence he was labelled Lucifer (the fallen angel).

Fast forward a few years and Lucifer (child of evil) has grown into his name, he is big, lean, has a mouth like a sabretooth's and likes to hunt, kill and eat wild adult rabbits whole.

Oh, and we live on a farm so plenty of oppurtunities for funny namings. Orphaned lambs came in groups so had related names such as Muffet, Tuffet and Spiderman. Cows must have cute names like Buttercup and Duchess, Duchess had a daughter whom we named after a spoilt pretentious premadonna cousin of ours, Princess. One of the Buttercups, as there were several, had horns and pinned spiderman to a wooden partition wall with one horn above and one below. She became Tellie, a cutesy version of William Tell.

BTW, Duchess and Princess are scared of Lucifer (the dark one) and he can herd them despite being about 0.1% of their mass.

Oh yeah, Scrumpy (the dog) comes from the west country. She's a little bit slow and sometimes chews on straw. I'm not kidding.

One of my sisters insanely called her kitten Mishka. I'm not sure if I'm even spelling it right because it's not a real word. What the hell is a mishka? What was the reasoning behind this? Who knows, it's insane! At least Hamlet (the cockeral) had a history and some sort of cultural reference. There was reasoning behind his name (he had some sort of war with other chickens, I forget the details). But my sister had to donate her contribution, Mishka. When asked why she said "I dunno, it looks like a mishka"

EDIT: I forgot our original feline. Queen Tabitha II. No explanation available.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 15:59, More)