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- a member for 5 years, 8 months and 18 days
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» Evil Pranks
The Old Circular Saw Trick.
Once when a mate pissed me off i crept into his room at 2am, quietly plugged in a handheld circular saw, held it 3 inches above his face, and turned it on.
It was rather loud.
He didn't appreciate the humour of it (even though I had the blade guard on).
Instead he shat his bed.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 21:12, More)
The Old Circular Saw Trick.
Once when a mate pissed me off i crept into his room at 2am, quietly plugged in a handheld circular saw, held it 3 inches above his face, and turned it on.
It was rather loud.
He didn't appreciate the humour of it (even though I had the blade guard on).
Instead he shat his bed.
(Fri 14th Dec 2007, 21:12, More)
» My first experience of porn
Cup Runneth Over
Me and my brother found some stick books under a young bushy pine tree at the Park. We were 6 or 7. It had been raining - they were wet - pages sticking together. We had a good perve, then now what?
Over the fence was a church car park.
That day the congregation, happy shiny families etc came our of church to be greeted by spread-eagled ladies showing us where the axe got them - all wet and plastered onto all the car windscreens like shit to a blanket.
Never forget that. Heh.
(Fri 26th Jan 2007, 11:13, More)
Cup Runneth Over
Me and my brother found some stick books under a young bushy pine tree at the Park. We were 6 or 7. It had been raining - they were wet - pages sticking together. We had a good perve, then now what?
Over the fence was a church car park.
That day the congregation, happy shiny families etc came our of church to be greeted by spread-eagled ladies showing us where the axe got them - all wet and plastered onto all the car windscreens like shit to a blanket.
Never forget that. Heh.
(Fri 26th Jan 2007, 11:13, More)
» When I met the parents
Jesus Frickin Hardcore
New Girlfriend.
We arrive at her aunty and Uncles place on Xmas eve. We crash for the night in their study - naked on a squab with a thin blanket.
Early in the morn. Knock Knock. It's her aunty - she needs to print her sermon, so she enters in her vicar outfit. SHE IS A FRIGGIN VICAR!
Then her uncle enters, needs a hand with his archbishops ouftit. He apologises for the intrusion but xmas day is their busiest day. HE IS AN ARCH-FRIGGIN BISHOP!!!
We continue to lie naked in the middle of the room under hardly any covering. Then her dad arrives, let's himself in and makes small talk, while i like buck naked next to his lovely daughter.
First time I met any of them. Thank god I never got a 'tent' on.
And I'm sure that the room stank of sex.
(Wed 25th May 2005, 2:23, More)
Jesus Frickin Hardcore
New Girlfriend.
We arrive at her aunty and Uncles place on Xmas eve. We crash for the night in their study - naked on a squab with a thin blanket.
Early in the morn. Knock Knock. It's her aunty - she needs to print her sermon, so she enters in her vicar outfit. SHE IS A FRIGGIN VICAR!
Then her uncle enters, needs a hand with his archbishops ouftit. He apologises for the intrusion but xmas day is their busiest day. HE IS AN ARCH-FRIGGIN BISHOP!!!
We continue to lie naked in the middle of the room under hardly any covering. Then her dad arrives, let's himself in and makes small talk, while i like buck naked next to his lovely daughter.
First time I met any of them. Thank god I never got a 'tent' on.
And I'm sure that the room stank of sex.
(Wed 25th May 2005, 2:23, More)
» Shame
killed by death
hmmm... I was at a filmschool and needed a tape master. I grabbed one out of the lecturers cupboard and taped my shit over it. Turned out it was his only master for an award winning documentary.
Was dubbing stuff onto the tape, got into a conversation and suddenly he walks in and oops -- sees the run-on -- his doco that err... i'm erasing. So I blame this random chick on the basis that she'd owed me a tape and I'd just used what she'd given me without looking.
But lo and behold -- she turns up. I scream at her (award winning performance). Said Lecturer totally screams at her (totally totally pissed). She doesn't have a chance and doesn't know what's going on.
Over the next 3 months she went loony. And then she killed herself...
...I am a cunt.
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 21:58, More)
killed by death
hmmm... I was at a filmschool and needed a tape master. I grabbed one out of the lecturers cupboard and taped my shit over it. Turned out it was his only master for an award winning documentary.
Was dubbing stuff onto the tape, got into a conversation and suddenly he walks in and oops -- sees the run-on -- his doco that err... i'm erasing. So I blame this random chick on the basis that she'd owed me a tape and I'd just used what she'd given me without looking.
But lo and behold -- she turns up. I scream at her (award winning performance). Said Lecturer totally screams at her (totally totally pissed). She doesn't have a chance and doesn't know what's going on.
Over the next 3 months she went loony. And then she killed herself...
...I am a cunt.
(Fri 25th Nov 2005, 21:58, More)