Profile for shedofevil:
I'm old. I was never a child - just shorter than I am now. I'm a lovable, grumpy old git. I'm stupidly shy unless drunk, then I'm stupidly shy and drunk. I'm an atheist, a conservative-anarchist-communist-liberal, a geek of the physical sciences and obsolete computers. I read a lot. I have a PhD.
I like beer, aniseed balls, curry, red wine, computers and cats. I dislike religious fundamentalists, children, cucumber, sprouts and millipedes.
I've worked as a barman, an accountant, a bank clerk, a double glazing salesman, a road sweeper, an embedded systems developer, a network installer and I've manned the helldesk. I used to blow things up with a big laser, now I design water purity sensors. I preferred the laser.
I have zero musical skills despite owning at least 10 CDs and having several tens of gigs of MP3s on my computers. I sometimes write. I often take photos. I collect books.
I keep finding grey hairs. I cook excellent bacon rolls, pretty good Thai fish curry, decent roast lamb and appalling cakes.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dtl/
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I'm old. I was never a child - just shorter than I am now. I'm a lovable, grumpy old git. I'm stupidly shy unless drunk, then I'm stupidly shy and drunk. I'm an atheist, a conservative-anarchist-communist-liberal, a geek of the physical sciences and obsolete computers. I read a lot. I have a PhD.
I like beer, aniseed balls, curry, red wine, computers and cats. I dislike religious fundamentalists, children, cucumber, sprouts and millipedes.
I've worked as a barman, an accountant, a bank clerk, a double glazing salesman, a road sweeper, an embedded systems developer, a network installer and I've manned the helldesk. I used to blow things up with a big laser, now I design water purity sensors. I preferred the laser.
I have zero musical skills despite owning at least 10 CDs and having several tens of gigs of MP3s on my computers. I sometimes write. I often take photos. I collect books.
I keep finding grey hairs. I cook excellent bacon rolls, pretty good Thai fish curry, decent roast lamb and appalling cakes.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/dtl/
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Stuff You've Overheard
Overheard at the tower of London
On a guided tour a young American lady mentions to her partner "Gee this looks old enough to be pre-war"
The tour guide pipes up "Madam, the whole tower is pre-America"
Cue stifeled giggles from the others on the tour party.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 10:27, More)
Overheard at the tower of London
On a guided tour a young American lady mentions to her partner "Gee this looks old enough to be pre-war"
The tour guide pipes up "Madam, the whole tower is pre-America"
Cue stifeled giggles from the others on the tour party.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 10:27, More)
» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.
A stuffed toy dog, my dog fucked it.
I'd had this stuffed toy dog since I before I could crawl. In my time I'd probably drooled on it, puked on it, pissed on it, spilt food all over, the usual for a favourite stuffed toy. Every time it went into the wash and came out good as new.
Fast forward many years and I'm having a clear out. The toy[1] is put on the floor while I hunt for something else. I turn back a few seconds later to see Pointless[2] has mounted it and is shagging away for all he is worth.
Protests that he was literally raping my childhood fell on deaf dog-ears until the inevitable happened.
Regardless of the spills and stains that the toy has suffered and been cleansed from before, I could not find it in me to keep or clean the dog-spunk covered toy.
Twenty-odd years of history dumped in the bin because of thirty seconds of animal passion.
Bloody Pointless.
[1] Yeah, I'd kept it until well into my 20s. It just got shoved to the back of the wardrobe.
[2] My dog is called Pointless because he is in truth a soppy pointless animal.
(Thu 14th Aug 2008, 17:18, More)
A stuffed toy dog, my dog fucked it.
I'd had this stuffed toy dog since I before I could crawl. In my time I'd probably drooled on it, puked on it, pissed on it, spilt food all over, the usual for a favourite stuffed toy. Every time it went into the wash and came out good as new.
Fast forward many years and I'm having a clear out. The toy[1] is put on the floor while I hunt for something else. I turn back a few seconds later to see Pointless[2] has mounted it and is shagging away for all he is worth.
Protests that he was literally raping my childhood fell on deaf dog-ears until the inevitable happened.
Regardless of the spills and stains that the toy has suffered and been cleansed from before, I could not find it in me to keep or clean the dog-spunk covered toy.
Twenty-odd years of history dumped in the bin because of thirty seconds of animal passion.
Bloody Pointless.
[1] Yeah, I'd kept it until well into my 20s. It just got shoved to the back of the wardrobe.
[2] My dog is called Pointless because he is in truth a soppy pointless animal.
(Thu 14th Aug 2008, 17:18, More)
» Unemployed
Neighbours.
I live next to a "family", the kids are actually pretty decent but probably not for much longer, because the adults are the sort that cried at Jade Goody's funeral and think "Babby P is wid da Angles now".
It being the first official weekend of the summer, they decided to indulge in their favourite summer pastime of drinking and fighting. At 3 o'clock this morning. From the sound of the loud altercation that took place (involving a goodly amount of smashing bottles and windows), it seems one of their guests took umbrage at being made unemployed come tomorrow and decided to let everyone know about it.
The police did not turn up in time to cart him away to some free bed and breakfast.
(Fri 3rd Apr 2009, 9:14, More)
Neighbours.
I live next to a "family", the kids are actually pretty decent but probably not for much longer, because the adults are the sort that cried at Jade Goody's funeral and think "Babby P is wid da Angles now".
It being the first official weekend of the summer, they decided to indulge in their favourite summer pastime of drinking and fighting. At 3 o'clock this morning. From the sound of the loud altercation that took place (involving a goodly amount of smashing bottles and windows), it seems one of their guests took umbrage at being made unemployed come tomorrow and decided to let everyone know about it.
The police did not turn up in time to cart him away to some free bed and breakfast.
(Fri 3rd Apr 2009, 9:14, More)
» School Days
Thermite
GCSE chemistry is as dull as ditchwater. You've got a class full of budding young pyromaniacs, terrorists and druggists, and most of the syllabus involves 'fun' things to do with copper sulphate and iron wool.
The only real high point as far as the kiddies are concerned is the redox reaction that is THERMITE! Every class will have heard about this fun experiment from the years above and will be begging to try it out the moment they walk though the doors of their first lesson. I've no idea if schools are still allowed to demonstrate the fun that is thermite, or if they just show a video or two from youtube, but when I were a lad, my school decided to do something different for our demo.
Rather than have the various science teachers do individual demos before a class of 30 or so, it was decided to do one big demo for the whole year. Thermite day arrives and we are led out onto the back field. The rather damp and muddy back field.
The thermite is set up in an old clay flowerpot on top of a couple of blocks on a patch of sand on mud. A hundred or so youngsters watch as the magnesium strip poked in the pot is lit and the teacher runs away from the proto-inferno. A few seconds later and the scene whites out. Vision returns and we can see flames & smoke & sparks. The pyromaniacs and terrorists are making comprehensive notes, the druggists are wondering if this gets them any closer to making E from the content of their bathroom cabinet.
The reaction dies down and the cheering starts. Then the flower pot cracks spewing bright orange molten iron all over the bricks and sand and OH-FUCK! mud!
There is a bang. Nope, there is a loud BANG. Or even a *FUCKING LOUD BANG* followed by a lot of small sizzles.
The hot iron hitting the damp mud made a steam explosion which scattered iron, bricks, pot and thermite. All sizzling and steaming where it landed.
It is as close a thing to a miracle as an atheist like me can believe, not a single person was hurt.
The school returned to small individual demos after that.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2009, 12:27, More)
Thermite
GCSE chemistry is as dull as ditchwater. You've got a class full of budding young pyromaniacs, terrorists and druggists, and most of the syllabus involves 'fun' things to do with copper sulphate and iron wool.
The only real high point as far as the kiddies are concerned is the redox reaction that is THERMITE! Every class will have heard about this fun experiment from the years above and will be begging to try it out the moment they walk though the doors of their first lesson. I've no idea if schools are still allowed to demonstrate the fun that is thermite, or if they just show a video or two from youtube, but when I were a lad, my school decided to do something different for our demo.
Rather than have the various science teachers do individual demos before a class of 30 or so, it was decided to do one big demo for the whole year. Thermite day arrives and we are led out onto the back field. The rather damp and muddy back field.
The thermite is set up in an old clay flowerpot on top of a couple of blocks on a patch of sand on mud. A hundred or so youngsters watch as the magnesium strip poked in the pot is lit and the teacher runs away from the proto-inferno. A few seconds later and the scene whites out. Vision returns and we can see flames & smoke & sparks. The pyromaniacs and terrorists are making comprehensive notes, the druggists are wondering if this gets them any closer to making E from the content of their bathroom cabinet.
The reaction dies down and the cheering starts. Then the flower pot cracks spewing bright orange molten iron all over the bricks and sand and OH-FUCK! mud!
There is a bang. Nope, there is a loud BANG. Or even a *FUCKING LOUD BANG* followed by a lot of small sizzles.
The hot iron hitting the damp mud made a steam explosion which scattered iron, bricks, pot and thermite. All sizzling and steaming where it landed.
It is as close a thing to a miracle as an atheist like me can believe, not a single person was hurt.
The school returned to small individual demos after that.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2009, 12:27, More)
» Public Sex
A picnic
The plan was to have a picnic in the woods near where we lived. The talk over ant filled sandwiches, warmly salmonella laden chicken and too hot coke, began to turn dirty.
"Let's have a fuck outside" she said. I grinned and nodded.
We scouted around bit, rejecting places too near the road or the open fields or the well used horse and cycle paths. Eventually settling upon a small clearing in the middle of some dense scrub.
We're standing up against a tree, getting acquainted before the main event. Things are going well, when we hear a loud crashing though the scrub.
Up bounds a large Rottie and sticks it's nose straight into my ladyfriend's crotch.
(no, no, no bestiality here)
She screams and I jump back in surprise. We hear a child's voice calling "Sarah, Sarah. Come back dog."
Time in the clearing stands still, while outside it speeds up. Before we know what is going or or gather our wits, we're joined by the family looking for their dog.
"Ah, you've found out dog, hope she didn't bother you". "*mumble* we're just having a picnic". "In here? Oh."
They sod off, we give up. The moment spoiled.
I've stuck to inside ever since.
(Thu 23rd Apr 2009, 13:03, More)
A picnic
The plan was to have a picnic in the woods near where we lived. The talk over ant filled sandwiches, warmly salmonella laden chicken and too hot coke, began to turn dirty.
"Let's have a fuck outside" she said. I grinned and nodded.
We scouted around bit, rejecting places too near the road or the open fields or the well used horse and cycle paths. Eventually settling upon a small clearing in the middle of some dense scrub.
We're standing up against a tree, getting acquainted before the main event. Things are going well, when we hear a loud crashing though the scrub.
Up bounds a large Rottie and sticks it's nose straight into my ladyfriend's crotch.
(no, no, no bestiality here)
She screams and I jump back in surprise. We hear a child's voice calling "Sarah, Sarah. Come back dog."
Time in the clearing stands still, while outside it speeds up. Before we know what is going or or gather our wits, we're joined by the family looking for their dog.
"Ah, you've found out dog, hope she didn't bother you". "*mumble* we're just having a picnic". "In here? Oh."
They sod off, we give up. The moment spoiled.
I've stuck to inside ever since.
(Thu 23rd Apr 2009, 13:03, More)