» My Wanking Disasters

Run rabbit...
One easter, i was having to participate in a wanky search around my house for easter eggs, mostly my siblings fault. So im innocently looking all over and getting pissed cos i want my damn chocolate. Im looking in my parents room, and open a drawer under my mums side of the bed, and there it is, a shiny blue vibrator. And 3 rubbery attachments, which i wont delve into...but 2 were for anal joy.
I just pushed the drawer back and left.

Then another day, there apears the fabled ann summers rampant rabit. again, just left it. one day i showed a mate...then attacked him with it. Now its customery to initiate anyone that has slept at my house more than 3 times by pinning them down andputting it in their mouth, im not sure my mother would agree to it, but hey.

There is also the time my brother found it. and questioned my mother...its her 'wobbling willy massager' when i found out, i proceeded to take the piss outa my mum(naturally) and we had compitions to embarress each other. I won by making up this song:

Run rabit, run rabit, run run run
here comes mother with her frontal bum
shes gonna lube you up to make her self cum
so run rabit, run rabit,run run run

I then got my girlfriend who didnt know about it to sing said song around the house. Winner


Sorry about the length/bad spelling/terrible grammer
(Thu 3rd Jun 2004, 11:06, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

Im 17 in a month..
And on christmas eve, christmas day, and all new years eve i'll be working. I dont even get a christmas bonus. No party, nothing. The management got a party. free meal, free drinks the lot. Most of the staff get nothing. Im too young for this shit!
(Mon 20th Dec 2004, 2:54, More)

» Premonitions

When i watched the first kill bill
i spent the entire film in a state of deja vu. It was as if i had seen the film all the way through, but forgotten it. Though that may be to do with what i had been smoking...
(Sun 21st Nov 2004, 16:01, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

I apologise if any are bindun....
I havent read through,and gotta go to college soon!

Why did little suzy fall off the swing?
She had no arms

How do you get a clown off the swing?
Hit it in the face with an axe

Whats the difference with a ton of dead babys,and a ton of bricks?
You cant load bricks onto the back of a pick-up with a pitchfork

What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller?
A baby with a cheese grator

Ill post more as and when i remember them/have more time
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 7:16, More)