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Profile for the Angry Gumball:
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» Out of my depth

Heart full, mind empty
In middle school, I entered the Chorus, more to get out of gym than anything. The GOOD singers were put into a smaller group called "Mixed Chorus". Needless to say, I wasn't in that rarified group. So why (O Gaawwwd WHY?) during our 1st public exhibition, did I shamble out of my place when the teacher called, "Mixed Chorus will now perform." Five, maybe six minutes of standing w/ the Mixed group, in front of parents, in dead silence, wondering when we were going to sing; then a still small voice besides me said, "Colin, you're not in Mixed Chorus." Sudden realization. Stumbled out the door and walked home. Still have nightmares, except now I'm naked.
(Thu 14th Oct 2004, 19:25, More)

» Bedroom Disasters

I don't care how funny it looks
DON'T belch during a kiss. And even more important, even if your friend looks like a squirrel hoarding nuts for the Winter afterwards, DON'T LAUGH.

Cut to me, shivering in the street, looking through the bushes for my trousers.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2011, 21:56, More)

» Ouch!

Paper cut
Sounds like nothing, right? Now, place said cut on your fucking cornea (eyeball). Two days of not being able to see, excrutiating etcetera and of course the terror of not knowing what's wrong and panicking about blindness, before finally having to WALK to the Emergency, due to the insufficient empathy of my significant other (now Ex).
(Sun 1st Aug 2010, 4:32, More)

» Losing it

Dietary Dangers
I have no sense of smell, and damned little sense of taste. Little common sense either, apparently. Still, I don't think restaraunts should put little pats of mustard in butter dishes. I thought it was butter, spread it on my hotcakes. When I complained to the (no doubt amused) waitress that the butter "tasted funny", she revealed its true nature and volunteered to replace the tainted hotcakes. "Don't be silly," I gurgled, "I ALWAYS eat my hotcakes w/ mustard. Mmm-mm!" And forced the gurge down w/ every sign of delight.

Well, I wasn't going to let HER know I was crazy!
(Thu 21st Jul 2011, 16:02, More)

» Sexual fetishes

Not shamed, just embarassed
Doing my 3-times-a-century cleaning when I noticed I have 50 dvds, 20 old videos, and 200 old magazines of women's wrestling and bodybuilding. I have to clean up more often.
(Sun 25th Oct 2009, 23:16, More)
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