Profile for Malchick:
My name is Malchick.
Hello, I'm a fat, lazy, drop out failure. HELLO MUM.
Please love me. My face is a ploptical illusion. I look like a shaved bear.
I look like my face is made from newspaper that was folded in a rush.
I'm 48 years old and I live between two stones.
I love Lord Of The Rings and I go LARPing in the Gollum league. 34 Gollums fighting for a ring in the woods at the back of my house.
I am also lazy. I can't afford shoes. I have no fingers and can't read.
My personal website is here - leave me a comment!
Fuck off you fat knacker.
I enjoy looking at ladies lumpy bits and drooling.
I've had a vasectomy.
LOOK A MONSTER
I'm a big posh sod with plums in my mouth and the plums have mutated and grown beaks.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 5 years, 7 months and 2 days
- has posted 2923 messages on the main board
- (of which 3 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 32913 messages on the talk board
- has posted 12 messages on the links board
- (including 4 links)
- has posted 66 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
- They liked 365 pictures, 25 links, 1024 talk posts, and 399 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
My name is Malchick.
Hello, I'm a fat, lazy, drop out failure. HELLO MUM.
Please love me. My face is a ploptical illusion. I look like a shaved bear.
I look like my face is made from newspaper that was folded in a rush.
I'm 48 years old and I live between two stones.
I love Lord Of The Rings and I go LARPing in the Gollum league. 34 Gollums fighting for a ring in the woods at the back of my house.
I am also lazy. I can't afford shoes. I have no fingers and can't read.
My personal website is here - leave me a comment!
Fuck off you fat knacker.
I enjoy looking at ladies lumpy bits and drooling.
I've had a vasectomy.
LOOK A MONSTER
I'm a big posh sod with plums in my mouth and the plums have mutated and grown beaks.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Little things that turn you on
I find it really nice
when people click my "I Like This!" button.
Prr.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 19:37, More)
I find it really nice
when people click my "I Like This!" button.
Prr.
(Fri 18th Feb 2005, 19:37, More)
» Going Too Far
I posted jokes about my sex life for the last 2 QOTWs, got on the Best of page for both, and have since been dumped.
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 1:16, More)
I posted jokes about my sex life for the last 2 QOTWs, got on the Best of page for both, and have since been dumped.
(Tue 14th Nov 2006, 1:16, More)
» Pure Ignorance
Me today.
We were discussing how my new hat looks good as a compliment to a variety of ensembles.
"It's like a multi-purpose hat!" I decreed.
There was then a pause in coversation, which I decided to fill with:
"I don't wank in it."
Smooth.
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 23:15, More)
Me today.
We were discussing how my new hat looks good as a compliment to a variety of ensembles.
"It's like a multi-purpose hat!" I decreed.
There was then a pause in coversation, which I decided to fill with:
"I don't wank in it."
Smooth.
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 23:15, More)
» I'm an expert
I've been an ex-pert since my boobs started to sag.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2005, 14:53, More)
I've been an ex-pert since my boobs started to sag.
(Thu 23rd Jun 2005, 14:53, More)