» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Red as a bell-end...
At my old job as a plant site desk operator, I got a call one day from a poor chap who was paralysed from the neck down, and scooted about everywhere on his electro-wheelchair...which had broken down in an isolated corridor. So I grabbed one of the engineers and we made our way to his location. Once we got there, the engineer set about fixing his chair, only to say to the bloke once he was about to switch it back on "fingers crossed"...
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 15:14, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

I told this at an Xmas dinner once, instead of the joke that actually came out of the cracker...
Q) What's the smallest pub in the World?
A) The Thalidomide Arms.
(Thu 9th Mar 2006, 16:29, More)

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

Another couple, involving MSN.
Talking to a mate on MSN the other day, my Mum looks over my shoulder only to be greeted with his profile pic of that wanker from The Darkness and the word "CUNT" underneath in big letters.

Second one, my mate thought it would be funny to set his pic to that of his mate - naked. I asked him who the bloke with the tiny penis was. "He's sitting next to me and reading this", came the reply.
(Wed 21st Apr 2004, 15:32, More)