b3ta.com user spookyfish
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» World's Sickest Joke

Another sick one !
3 men are in the pub talking about what they do with the other hand when they are wanking.

First guy says he uses it to fast forward to the best bit in the porn video.

The secong guy says he uses it to flick to the best bits in his porn mag.

The third guy says he is holding a sponge.

The first and second guy look at him in a confused state. A sponge?, they ask, still puzzled.

The third guy says yeah a sponge. Cos i'm giving me kids a bath.
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 23:43, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

I know its so wrong......
What is pink, hard and makes women scream ?

Cot death.

Really it's appauling isn't it
(Thu 9th Sep 2004, 23:38, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

Well...........
When i was younger and had no money i used to sell my brothers toys to finance my confectionary addiction (was hooked on milky way for a little while).

In my school days i became a prefect. One of the perks of the job was skipping the lunch queue. I would offer to skip the queue to buy someones lunch for them, as long as i could keep the change. I collected a significant sum of money buy doing this. Absolute power corrupts absolutly. Nuff said !
(Sun 10th Oct 2004, 18:11, More)

» Shoddy Presents

No present, but the card.......
On my 12th birthday i happened to recieve a card from my late grandparents. I never saw them that much, but bless em they were lovely. Anyway, i got a card. On the front of which were several young cartoon cats in dresses skipping and being cute. I found this a tad strange, but i found the inside stranger.

Firstly it said "to our grandaughter" (I'm male) and that Nanny and Grandad hope you have a special 7th birthday. I was 12. Best bit though was that they put my name on the envelope, but my brother's name inside. Gotta love em.

The icing on this cake was the fact that they
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 18:43, More)

» Local Nutters

Nutters in my town
Well there is the woman who pissed on the seats down my local. She did it three times in one evening, and the when told to leave stole the cutlery and condiments from the food service area, and called the barman a slag. She came back the next day and had to be escorted off the premises (though this i didn't see)

Then there is the bloke who sniffs and licks the CD's and DVD's in MVC. I am honestly not making that up.

Then there is Busman. A drunk old man who smells of piss and is constantly out of head due to excess alcohol consumption. He spends his days chattering incessantly about bollocks to those who have the misfortune of sitting next to him on the fine puiblic transport. He also flirts with young ladies who always look scared by him. I don't blame them. He fucking terrifies me.
(Sat 18th Sep 2004, 19:12, More)
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