» Local Nutters

Theres an old dear...
who hangs around between Walmley and Minworth in Sutton Coldfield aged about 65, usually found talking to the cars that zoom past but will occasionally shout down the storm drains in case some poor child with a 2 inch profile has slipped between the bars. havent seen her for a good six months now but the last time I did was when the crafty loon had snuck behind the Asda and pilfered the large cardboard boxes used for transporting boxes of cornflakes and decided to set up shop up the road, trying to sell them to the passing motorists out of an old rusty wheelbarrow.

Other fruitcakes in and around brum include the king of nutters, the one and only 'Mad Malik' winner of the coveted title 'Best Brummie' in the 'Birmingham, its not shit' awards, he dances all day to his little tape player, which incidently has no tape/batteries etc and swears at passers by. (sorry-no link, he did have a website dedicated to him but social services made them take it down).

To Mistafeesh :- does the guy in the rug live by the Edwardian Hotel that has an annual tranny weekend because my uncle owns a b&b in newquay down the road from a godbotherer like that.

3rd post ever, time to lurk again.
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 14:35, More)

» Shit Stories

drunken nutcase
My parents went on holiday a few years ago and took my sister with them, leaving me to my own devices. Naturally the few friends i invited round resulted in a house full of 17-20 year olds boozing and smoking like there was no tomorrow.

However there was one guy there who was a bit of a manic depressive / alcoholic psychopath who after drinking his own 8 cans asked me if i would give him a can or two of my own. What he didnt tell me is he meant a can or two every half an hour so by one in the morning he was completely wrecked and asleep on the lawn, where upon the little man in his head in charge of bladder control went on strike.

When he did wake up he came inside and everyone went out of their way to tell him he had pissed himself, to which he replied ' I think ive shit myself too'. It was at the moment that the ungodly whiff of 18 cans of worthingtons and a particularly iffy kebab based shite hit the noses of everyone present.

The poor lad was so embarrased that he collected his bag and squelched home on his bike. we later found out that he has fallen off his bike about 9 times and been pulled over by the police. I almost felt sorry for him til the next morning when i went into the bathroom and found his bodged attempt to clean himself up in the shower....wanker =(
(Fri 7th May 2004, 10:34, More)