b3ta.com user Finn's NIN Mini
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» Relief

It's Alive!
Taking my gf at the time home in my battered old Land Rover. Driving down a dark country lane when a dog jumps out in front of us in what was obviously a canine suicide attempt. Thump! Definitely hit it - cue gf screaming "is it dead, is it dead?" at the top of her voice. Get out of the car and no sign of aforementioned canine. A quick scout around the car sees it wrapped up in the wheel arch, lifeless. Prodding and poking at it does no good, it's stuck. Reporting this is rewarded with more screaming.

Time to take the wheel off. Jack up the Landy and remove the wheel, now I can peel the dog from the arch. As I free it the bastard springs to life, bites me on the hand and fucks off across the fields at top speed.

"Aww, he's alright, that's a relief" were the words I next heard. Marvellous.
(Tue 25th Dec 2012, 20:46, More)

» Your Revenge Stories

Mr Wells
I used to work at a shithole transport company, and the office manager was a guy called Mr Wells, he was a right arse, thought he was oh so important when all he really did was make sure Tesco got enough frozen chips off the back of one of his shitty wagons. I handed in me notice, and was working my last week when one day I was alone in the office. I changed all the passwords (I'd got the admin passes and they were all twunts who knew less than nothing about computers apart from how to switch them on) and changed the startup wav to the song from the Fast Show that goes 'Mr Wells you sad old boring wanker...etc'

I've been left from that job for over 12 months and apparantley it's still the startup wav, but the computers don't have speakers anymore cos Mr Wells removed 'em.

Heh
(Sat 15th May 2004, 19:28, More)