Profile for Calqhoon:
I hit my head and now I ride the bus with the bars on the windows.
And I like lemon.
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
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- a member for 5 years, 5 months and 30 days
- has posted 383 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 18 messages on the talk board
- has posted 2 messages on the links board
- has posted 12 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 1 qotw answers.
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I hit my head and now I ride the bus with the bars on the windows.
And I like lemon.
Recent front page messages:
REVEALED: Grand Overseer of the Great Tongue-Army of Spong
Trust no-one. Especially royals.
(Mon 29th Nov 2004, 16:59, More)
Trust no-one. Especially royals.
(Mon 29th Nov 2004, 16:59, More)
Best answers to questions:
» Injured Siblings
Burns and breaks
I broke my brother's arm one year when he was about 5, round my nan's house playing WWF. He jumped on my back so I elbow dropped him. I bloody won though.
I also scalded his back through his shirt using a steam cleaner. I seem to remember yelling "Can you feel the force, Luke?!" and chasing him with it. He was wearing a checked shirt, and it left marks not dissimilar to those left on Hiroshima survivors.
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 21:10, More)
Burns and breaks
I broke my brother's arm one year when he was about 5, round my nan's house playing WWF. He jumped on my back so I elbow dropped him. I bloody won though.
I also scalded his back through his shirt using a steam cleaner. I seem to remember yelling "Can you feel the force, Luke?!" and chasing him with it. He was wearing a checked shirt, and it left marks not dissimilar to those left on Hiroshima survivors.
(Fri 19th Aug 2005, 21:10, More)
» Black Sheep
I tend to be the black sheep of my family
failed exams, drink, drugs.
And then there's that fiaso with the geese. We don't talk about that.
(Fri 14th Jan 2005, 9:21, More)
I tend to be the black sheep of my family
failed exams, drink, drugs.
And then there's that fiaso with the geese. We don't talk about that.
(Fri 14th Jan 2005, 9:21, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
PLEASE!
No more jokes about the taste of menstrual blood, multicoloured dead babies or the quantity of jews in an ashtray. I don't think I can take any more reposts.
(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 23:35, More)
PLEASE!
No more jokes about the taste of menstrual blood, multicoloured dead babies or the quantity of jews in an ashtray. I don't think I can take any more reposts.
(Tue 6th Dec 2005, 23:35, More)
» When I met the parents
Sgt. One-Night-Stand
Got back to a young lady's parents' house with said young lady and a few of her mates. We decide it would be a rather good idea to strip off and get in the jacuzzi (outdoors, in November). Now, anyone with a little sense might realise that attempting to smoke a fag in a jacuzzi is a rather taxing feat; a lessson taught to us only by piles of sopping wet tobacco left all round the place.
Anyway, boned the bird, went to bed, only to discover that she snored and hogged the covers.
Morning came around, I was awoken by a loud bellow outside the bedroom door; it's her ex-army, 6'3 dad. He promptly decided to burst in, with me lying naked and completely uncovered next to his first-born.
Turns out he just wanted us to clean up the mess in the jacuzzi, but I didn't stick around; I managed to lock myself outside the front door (more-or-less dressed luckily), with a very cold, hungover walk home to look forward to.
P.S. I played Diablo 2 when I got home.
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 23:30, More)
Sgt. One-Night-Stand
Got back to a young lady's parents' house with said young lady and a few of her mates. We decide it would be a rather good idea to strip off and get in the jacuzzi (outdoors, in November). Now, anyone with a little sense might realise that attempting to smoke a fag in a jacuzzi is a rather taxing feat; a lessson taught to us only by piles of sopping wet tobacco left all round the place.
Anyway, boned the bird, went to bed, only to discover that she snored and hogged the covers.
Morning came around, I was awoken by a loud bellow outside the bedroom door; it's her ex-army, 6'3 dad. He promptly decided to burst in, with me lying naked and completely uncovered next to his first-born.
Turns out he just wanted us to clean up the mess in the jacuzzi, but I didn't stick around; I managed to lock myself outside the front door (more-or-less dressed luckily), with a very cold, hungover walk home to look forward to.
P.S. I played Diablo 2 when I got home.
(Mon 23rd May 2005, 23:30, More)
» It was a great holiday, but...
It was a great holiday, but...
waking up in the middle of the night, only to find some git climbing in through the hotel room window was slightly unnerving. He didn't manage to nick anything, but when we went downstairs to complain to the staff, the night-manager was mysteriously missing.
I never knew Bournemouth was such a shady place.
(Sun 24th Apr 2005, 23:40, More)
It was a great holiday, but...
waking up in the middle of the night, only to find some git climbing in through the hotel room window was slightly unnerving. He didn't manage to nick anything, but when we went downstairs to complain to the staff, the night-manager was mysteriously missing.
I never knew Bournemouth was such a shady place.
(Sun 24th Apr 2005, 23:40, More)