» Running away

Not a great story
But it's not a great question, so meh.

Me and my mate organised a night out a few months back. Nobody else turned up other than us, but we thought 'sod it' and went out regardless. We got royally pissed and stumbled around town for a while, singing Iron Maiden songs loudly and badly in graveyards and such, generally being drunken cunts. We came across a bunch of chavs in a park, we could only make them out vaguely in the dark, but who else hangs around in groups in a park in the dead of night? They didn't even spot us. Well, not until we drew attention to ourselves. Thinking ourselves incredibly witty, we put on our best Devvo accents and hurled our best chav lines at them, "ya fuckin' billend!" and such. They soon tired of this and got up to look for us. Figuring they didn't know where we were, we dropped flat to the floor and were completely silent. Well, we thought we were silent, but we were patently obvious because they headed straight for us. Upon realising this, I yelled "leg it" at my mate and we fled the scene with both of us screaming like big girls. They chased for some distance, but in the centre of town we somehow managed to mingle with another group of chavs and lost them.

There are plans for something along similar lines tomorrow night and I'm pretty sure it won't go nearly as well.
(Fri 11th Aug 2006, 23:56, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

The classic
I was helping my mate move into his new flat the other day. He was on the top floor, so everything had to be taken up in the lift. As we were walking toward said lift, he told me: "Wait until you see what I've written on the wall in the lift"

So I did. Pressed the button for the lift. Ping. Door slides open to reveal a huge cock drawn on the rear wall. Not just a quick crude one, either. It took up most of the wall, and it appeared a great deal of effort had gone into making it look right. It was very symmetrical and had the complimentary pubes and everything. Classy.

Length? Nearly 6 or 7 foot.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 15:44, More)

» School fights

Let's see...
I've been in a few petty fights which, while they may have been spectacular at the time, are now long forgotten by all (except me, aparrently)

There was also a really fat girl me and my friends used to bully (sorry if I sound proud of it) and one day she attacked us for a change. I used our game boy link cable and gave her a whipping - literally!

There was a guy in the year below us whom I fought using rolled up newspapers as sort of makeshift swords. He had maybe 30-40 of his year backing him up, my mates all scarpered. I got out of it fairly unscathed, though.

My favourite has got to be my attacking our Physics teacher, though. Or so the story goes. I was actually writing a movie script, and he picked it up. I leapt up and snatched it back from him. Most people will tell you I physically assaulted him, though. In a few years I'm sure people will say I killed him or something.

Needless to say, I've something of a reputation for being a very agressive individual, by now.
(Mon 13th Mar 2006, 18:36, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

Friend of my parents
was training to become a driving instructor. He needed to pass a home driving simulation thingy three times consecutively. I managed to hack into the results and alter them so he could pass every time. I don't think it helped him much, practically, since he has since failed to become a driving instructor.
(Sun 20th Nov 2005, 13:54, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Most utterly unexpected thing I ever saw in the gents
huge writing over the door proclaiming:

ωØØt!!! Lvl 60 NE drood FTW!!11!

World of Warcraft graffiti written in l33t. Astounding.

Also, on the hand dryer in the toilets of a nearby club someone has scrawled: www.goatse.cx
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 23:30, More)