» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

My big-hearted sister
has always had a soft spot for animals.

One day when she was very young she found a sparrow with a broken wing. She couldn't just walk away and leave the poor thing so she brought it home, applied a splint to the wing, named it Sparky and nursed the little chap back to health.

After a few weeks came the day of release as she judged the wing was now healed. As she was removing Sparky from his cardboard box home she fumbled. Sparky, spotting his chance for freedom, launched himself into the air.... and immediately landed in our open, lit coal fire.

I'll remember her sobs for ever. I, on the other hand, couldn't move for laughing.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 21:30, More)

» Awesome Sickies

I once called my (very religious) boss
and told him I couldn't come in due to demonic posession. He simply asked me when I might be back at work.
(Sat 10th Jun 2006, 12:43, More)

» Job Interviews

Mid 80's....
Just out of school and no intention of looking for work. Unfortunately my father did not approve of this for some reason so decided to apply for jobs on my behalf.

Do you have any F*^$^ŁG idea how demoralising it is to get rejection letters from companies you never even applied for?
(Thu 20th Jan 2005, 15:46, More)

» Dumb things you've done

This is one for the Darwin Awards
Lying in the bath aged 9 or 10. I notice the bulb is missing from the socket above my head. The lightswitch was one of those string things that you pull. Hmmm... was the electricity on or off? There was only one way to be sure - stand up and poke my fingers into the socket!

One blue flash and loud bang later and I had to go have a lie down. :-(
(Thu 27th Dec 2007, 12:04, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Not my worst chunder but my mate's
17 and stupid. Blatted on several bottles of cheap cider I decided to have a nice cool lay down in the garden of my friend's house where we were having the party. Cue "friend" dragging me back indoors to be sobered up with copious amounts of black coffee. I did not want this! I wanted to be left lying on the lovely cool grass outside.
Minutes later I make a mad dash to the loo and hang my head in the bowl whilst puking the entire contents of my gut.
At this point I hear someone coming up the stairs. (thump thump thump puke) and (thump thump thump puke) The door bursts open and my mate Henk is standing over me. He looks at me and I look at him. There is no way I can move due to my condition. I pray he will turn to his right and evacuate into the bath.
Nope - puked all over me while I lay there helpless. Someday I will kill him.
(Thu 19th Aug 2004, 22:08, More)