Profile for Absynth&Cheese:
NOW WITH ADDED .CO.UK
http://www.absynthandcheese.co.uk
This = Me
Dark Hair, dark eyes and a big nose. Although I lack greasy hair, spotty skin and am not overweight, please treat me like one of your own :)
Feel free to edit it for you own personal pleasure, I have..
me in south park format
I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE YOU CUNTS
Hello of course thats not my real name that would just be silly (by the way to any pedants out there i know its not spelt like that, bastards), my real name cannot be pronounced in your earth tounge.
Anyway identity crisis aside im just another average welsh bloke trapped in this anglo-saxon island monarchy known as england, only to goto uni mind. Speaking (and by speaking i mean writing) about uni i goto a lovely little university called DeMontfort, never heard of it? well theres probably a good reason for that.
im currently 22 although that tends to change from year to year, no distinguishing marks or moles or extra bodyparts.
Im have studied molecular genetics, and so hope one day to make the world a better place by giving the world what it really needs...flying monkeys HA HA HA etc.
The name is actually a tribute to a cocktail i once drank... no really.... once, and never again. The way you make the the cocktail is relatively easy for those of you who hate your life so much you want to try it. see below.
2 shots of absinth
2 shots of vodka
1/2 bag of melted marshmallows
add grated cheese to taste
mix, drink and pray you wake up in the morning
I discovered B3ta through a friend who incidentaly was the one who made me drink the above cocktail, sometimes in my nightmares i can still hear her laughing at me.
One day I'd like to have my own website, however i have neither the patience nor the computer wizardry knowhow in order to comlete such a task as im mostly too busy (trying) to grow bacteria in petri dishes, which quite frankly is about as interesting as it sounds
Heres some of my stuff
Heres some more information on moi
Name: Absynth&Cheese
Age: 22
Sex: Male
Height: 6 foot 1 inch
Dimensions: 3
Location: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions where nobody goes
Dislocation: No
Relocation: Yes
Power Supply: Mitochondrial based electron transport
Education: Very much so
Photoshop ability: Average
Biggest fear: People with too much plastic surgery
Religion: No Affliation
Government: Communist
Nationality: Severly Welsh
Favourite word: FLAPS
Favourite animal: Kittens!!
Best Asset: Charm and sophistication
Worst Asset: Being a smug cunt
Hobbies: Art, Science, Philosophy
Social Orientation: Normal
Likes: Fluff, Music, Nature, b3ta, Monster trucks, Hovercraft
Dislikes: Emos, Stupid people
Hates: Bands whos name is someway indicative of the number of people in the band e.g G4, Five, 4Tune etc
Star Sign: Pisces
Road Sign: One Way
No smoking sign: Yes
I also have a passive non-psycho interest in collecting swords, at present i have two samurai swords.
Hoping to get my first ninja sword soon.
Should probably mention i know approximately fuck all about computers and get very confused when people start using programming terminology aroung me so please dont, its not big and/or clever oh and what the hell is this all about 'ROFL11!!1one11eleven!!OMG WTF YMCA DLVA' or whatever it is. i just know how to use a computer to type things, access this messageboard and look for porn and im happy. I live my life by Occam's razor and that suits my (special)needs nicely (If you dont know what Occam's razor is your not gunna find out here, thicko). I like to listen to music of various varieties and i especially like to listen to moaning goth rock (only kidding, that music is more shit than the communal toilets in a sewerage works after an all you can eat curry night, but alot of people say they like it to look cool, fuckwits).
You might be losing the will to live at this point but thats ok, so am i, but im making a point (i think) and its this, people's profiles in general tend to be a bit crap. I know i know, pot-kettle etc but its true, this bit is great for getting a better idea of the complete wierdos your talking to yet some people just leave it blank! Not me i go on and on and just get worse,like a case of alzhiemers. well im off to hell see you soon kids.
If your still reading this then youve got way too much time on your hands.
I also for some reason cant stop doing those online personality quiz things, it may be becoming some kind of debilitating psycological condition, oh well
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey.
Christ these personality tests so far make me look like some kind of socialist megalomania.....oh yeh
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.
RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA feel the power of my unessacarly long persian namesake
My Iraqi Leadership Name is Hikmat Tahir Razuki Muhsin Abd al-Ghafur.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Strangely accurate, apart from the attention seeking bit, although I consider my narcissism to be more 'raging' than 'high'
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 5 years, 4 months and 13 days
- has posted 2616 messages on the main board
- (of which 2 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 137 messages on the talk board
- has posted 319 messages on the links board
- (including 75 links)
- has posted 66 stories and 4 replies on question of the week
- They liked 5 pictures, 1 links, 0 talk posts, and 1 qotw answers. [RSS feed]
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
NOW WITH ADDED .CO.UK
http://www.absynthandcheese.co.uk
This = Me
Dark Hair, dark eyes and a big nose. Although I lack greasy hair, spotty skin and am not overweight, please treat me like one of your own :)
Feel free to edit it for you own personal pleasure, I have..
me in south park format
I adopted a cute lil' poison fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE YOU CUNTS
Hello of course thats not my real name that would just be silly (by the way to any pedants out there i know its not spelt like that, bastards), my real name cannot be pronounced in your earth tounge.
Anyway identity crisis aside im just another average welsh bloke trapped in this anglo-saxon island monarchy known as england, only to goto uni mind. Speaking (and by speaking i mean writing) about uni i goto a lovely little university called DeMontfort, never heard of it? well theres probably a good reason for that.
im currently 22 although that tends to change from year to year, no distinguishing marks or moles or extra bodyparts.
Im have studied molecular genetics, and so hope one day to make the world a better place by giving the world what it really needs...flying monkeys HA HA HA etc.
The name is actually a tribute to a cocktail i once drank... no really.... once, and never again. The way you make the the cocktail is relatively easy for those of you who hate your life so much you want to try it. see below.
2 shots of absinth
2 shots of vodka
1/2 bag of melted marshmallows
add grated cheese to taste
mix, drink and pray you wake up in the morning
I discovered B3ta through a friend who incidentaly was the one who made me drink the above cocktail, sometimes in my nightmares i can still hear her laughing at me.
One day I'd like to have my own website, however i have neither the patience nor the computer wizardry knowhow in order to comlete such a task as im mostly too busy (trying) to grow bacteria in petri dishes, which quite frankly is about as interesting as it sounds
Heres some of my stuff
Heres some more information on moi
Name: Absynth&Cheese
Age: 22
Sex: Male
Height: 6 foot 1 inch
Dimensions: 3
Location: Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions where nobody goes
Dislocation: No
Relocation: Yes
Power Supply: Mitochondrial based electron transport
Education: Very much so
Photoshop ability: Average
Biggest fear: People with too much plastic surgery
Religion: No Affliation
Government: Communist
Nationality: Severly Welsh
Favourite word: FLAPS
Favourite animal: Kittens!!
Best Asset: Charm and sophistication
Worst Asset: Being a smug cunt
Hobbies: Art, Science, Philosophy
Social Orientation: Normal
Likes: Fluff, Music, Nature, b3ta, Monster trucks, Hovercraft
Dislikes: Emos, Stupid people
Hates: Bands whos name is someway indicative of the number of people in the band e.g G4, Five, 4Tune etc
Star Sign: Pisces
Road Sign: One Way
No smoking sign: Yes
I also have a passive non-psycho interest in collecting swords, at present i have two samurai swords.
Hoping to get my first ninja sword soon.
Should probably mention i know approximately fuck all about computers and get very confused when people start using programming terminology aroung me so please dont, its not big and/or clever oh and what the hell is this all about 'ROFL11!!1one11eleven!!OMG WTF YMCA DLVA' or whatever it is. i just know how to use a computer to type things, access this messageboard and look for porn and im happy. I live my life by Occam's razor and that suits my (special)needs nicely (If you dont know what Occam's razor is your not gunna find out here, thicko). I like to listen to music of various varieties and i especially like to listen to moaning goth rock (only kidding, that music is more shit than the communal toilets in a sewerage works after an all you can eat curry night, but alot of people say they like it to look cool, fuckwits).
You might be losing the will to live at this point but thats ok, so am i, but im making a point (i think) and its this, people's profiles in general tend to be a bit crap. I know i know, pot-kettle etc but its true, this bit is great for getting a better idea of the complete wierdos your talking to yet some people just leave it blank! Not me i go on and on and just get worse,like a case of alzhiemers. well im off to hell see you soon kids.
If your still reading this then youve got way too much time on your hands.
I also for some reason cant stop doing those online personality quiz things, it may be becoming some kind of debilitating psycological condition, oh well
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
Which Genocidal Maniac Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Which Annoying B-list Celebrity Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey.
Christ these personality tests so far make me look like some kind of socialist megalomania.....oh yeh
Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey
Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.
RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA feel the power of my unessacarly long persian namesake
My Iraqi Leadership Name is Hikmat Tahir Razuki Muhsin Abd al-Ghafur.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
| Level | Score |
|---|---|
| Purgatory (Repenting Believers) | Very Low |
| Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) | Moderate |
| Level 2 (Lustful) | High |
| Level 3 (Gluttonous) | Moderate |
| Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) | Very High |
| Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) | Low |
| Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) | High |
| Level 7 (Violent) | Moderate |
| Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) | High |
| Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) | Low |
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Strangely accurate, apart from the attention seeking bit, although I consider my narcissism to be more 'raging' than 'high'
 I am A Shit Brick .The Shit brick is usually the kinda person that doesn't like doing much. Turning down a nice romp in the park to his or her favorite television show and a nice big Mac or a box of chicken nuggets. Though shit bricks have their anti social flaws, what they lack in social values they make up for in laziness... But I guess that isn't a good thing either way.. Ok, shit bricks are just lazy fucks... What Kinda Shit Are You? I find this strangely accurate and indicative of my entire existence, odd that  What Is Your Animal Personality? brought to you by Quizilla apparently only 8% of people had this result makes me feel special and also a social outcast Free Hit Counter  Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You? A Rum and Monkey joint.
 Which Office Moron Are You? Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time. Im only 22 for gods sake |
Recent front page messages:
Sorry about this but these ads really get on my (metaphorical) tits
p.s thanks for the fp my first EVER, cheers
(Wed 11th Aug 2004, 19:15, More)
p.s thanks for the fp my first EVER, cheers
(Wed 11th Aug 2004, 19:15, More)
Best answers to questions:
» My first love
Right I've had enough of all these whiney emo cunts posting stories about some teen angst bollocks that no-one else could give a flying shite about, so here's my happy story
We met when we were 16, it was at this local club place with shit £6 bottles of piss and even shitter music, but it was the only place for miles around so everyone in the locality ventured there on a weekend.
This weekend I happened to be out, I had had one too many drinks and saw a ladyfreind of mine with very attractive freind.
Cue me doing that pissed up half walking half dancing swagger up to them loaded with vodka and thus feeling more confident (if slightly less coherent) by the second.
I get closer, they havent run away yet,mmmm things are going well I think to myself, I walk up and deliver my killer opening line..
"hello I havn.."
I'm cut short by the fact Ive just tripped over my own legs and fallen onto both of them, I make light of the situation talk to my freind for a bit then fuck off before I do something else stupid seeing as I'm not getting any more sober.
Well imagine my surprise when said friend walks up to me the next day a school and says her sexy mate would like to get my number!
I'll spare you the next 7 years but to cut a very long story just long, we're still together, she is more beautiful than ever and thanks to her I might be getting a PHD at Oxford university and we've never been happier
In your face miserable emo twats
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 19:32, More)
Right I've had enough of all these whiney emo cunts posting stories about some teen angst bollocks that no-one else could give a flying shite about, so here's my happy story
We met when we were 16, it was at this local club place with shit £6 bottles of piss and even shitter music, but it was the only place for miles around so everyone in the locality ventured there on a weekend.
This weekend I happened to be out, I had had one too many drinks and saw a ladyfreind of mine with very attractive freind.
Cue me doing that pissed up half walking half dancing swagger up to them loaded with vodka and thus feeling more confident (if slightly less coherent) by the second.
I get closer, they havent run away yet,mmmm things are going well I think to myself, I walk up and deliver my killer opening line..
"hello I havn.."
I'm cut short by the fact Ive just tripped over my own legs and fallen onto both of them, I make light of the situation talk to my freind for a bit then fuck off before I do something else stupid seeing as I'm not getting any more sober.
Well imagine my surprise when said friend walks up to me the next day a school and says her sexy mate would like to get my number!
I'll spare you the next 7 years but to cut a very long story just long, we're still together, she is more beautiful than ever and thanks to her I might be getting a PHD at Oxford university and we've never been happier
In your face miserable emo twats
(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 19:32, More)
» You're a moviestar baby
OK so im in my IT class when the headmaster comes in with a cameraman
I dont goto a private school so i thought "this isnt illegal private school bumboy action being filmed, so whats going on then?"
No it turned out they wanted to do a few shots of the IT room with the headmaster pretending to look interested in what kids were doing on the computers
HOWEVER they didnt want US in the room, no we were too old, greasy and spotty (16) they wanted some fresh faced first years looking fresh faced while the smarmy head looked smarmy.
So feeling a bit rejected and vengefull while they were carting in said first years i opened paint and quickly drew the most horrific thing i could in 30 seconds which included some evil looking faces and badly drawn cocks.
I was then told to make way for some innocent looking 12 year old girl who took my seat...and my computer.
Que photo's being taken, no-one noticing anything out of the ordinary until the photo's get printed....que me looking very smug as the picture's are printed in the local paper and reveal a very scared looking 12 year old sitting staring at a computer screen covered in demonic faces and cocks whilst the headmaster stands in the back looking like a smug twat,HAHA and HA
(core blimey that was a long and wide one, and it went on for ages, fancy a ciggarette?)
(Thu 11th Nov 2004, 18:58, More)
OK so im in my IT class when the headmaster comes in with a cameraman
I dont goto a private school so i thought "this isnt illegal private school bumboy action being filmed, so whats going on then?"
No it turned out they wanted to do a few shots of the IT room with the headmaster pretending to look interested in what kids were doing on the computers
HOWEVER they didnt want US in the room, no we were too old, greasy and spotty (16) they wanted some fresh faced first years looking fresh faced while the smarmy head looked smarmy.
So feeling a bit rejected and vengefull while they were carting in said first years i opened paint and quickly drew the most horrific thing i could in 30 seconds which included some evil looking faces and badly drawn cocks.
I was then told to make way for some innocent looking 12 year old girl who took my seat...and my computer.
Que photo's being taken, no-one noticing anything out of the ordinary until the photo's get printed....que me looking very smug as the picture's are printed in the local paper and reveal a very scared looking 12 year old sitting staring at a computer screen covered in demonic faces and cocks whilst the headmaster stands in the back looking like a smug twat,HAHA and HA
(core blimey that was a long and wide one, and it went on for ages, fancy a ciggarette?)
(Thu 11th Nov 2004, 18:58, More)
» Messing with the Dark Side
Its an actual ghost story! (a rareity for this QOTW)
It was when I lived in a little two storey flat, the layout of which was the bedrooms and livingroom were upstairs. The storage room, bathroom and kitchen were downstairs, with a corridor connecting them leading to the front door.
Now the odd thing was the storage room was always cold, always, now i thought nothing of this because i was young (about 12).
Now one night my mum and a mate of hers get back from a night out having only had about 2 glasses of wine between them. unknown to my mums friend me and my brother were upstairs in bed and the babysiter had buggered off. My mums mate walks past the storage room and asks "why is matthew (thats me) in the storage room?" my mum replies
"he isnt he's in bed" my mums friend (looking increasing pale says
"look ive just seen a little boy in that storage room" my mum says
"both the boys are upstairs in bed go and check if you dont believe me" and sure enough, we were, upon checking the storage room, nothing, it only contained a few boxes.
turns out the storage room was haunted by the ghost of a timid little boy who used to peek his head round doorways when me and my brother were at school. I never saw him (which was just as well) but always felt uneasy in the lower half of the flat.
My mum only told us this after moving out which was just as well because I would have shat myself and never slept again. I've never had any reason to doubt it either seeing as my mum isnt a alcoholic or mental and was kind enough not to share the information with us until moving out, plus another person saw it. and although I am a secular bloke and skeptical I firmly beleive in hauntings provided there is believable evidence for it.
(Sun 23rd Apr 2006, 16:39, More)
Its an actual ghost story! (a rareity for this QOTW)
It was when I lived in a little two storey flat, the layout of which was the bedrooms and livingroom were upstairs. The storage room, bathroom and kitchen were downstairs, with a corridor connecting them leading to the front door.
Now the odd thing was the storage room was always cold, always, now i thought nothing of this because i was young (about 12).
Now one night my mum and a mate of hers get back from a night out having only had about 2 glasses of wine between them. unknown to my mums friend me and my brother were upstairs in bed and the babysiter had buggered off. My mums mate walks past the storage room and asks "why is matthew (thats me) in the storage room?" my mum replies
"he isnt he's in bed" my mums friend (looking increasing pale says
"look ive just seen a little boy in that storage room" my mum says
"both the boys are upstairs in bed go and check if you dont believe me" and sure enough, we were, upon checking the storage room, nothing, it only contained a few boxes.
turns out the storage room was haunted by the ghost of a timid little boy who used to peek his head round doorways when me and my brother were at school. I never saw him (which was just as well) but always felt uneasy in the lower half of the flat.
My mum only told us this after moving out which was just as well because I would have shat myself and never slept again. I've never had any reason to doubt it either seeing as my mum isnt a alcoholic or mental and was kind enough not to share the information with us until moving out, plus another person saw it. and although I am a secular bloke and skeptical I firmly beleive in hauntings provided there is believable evidence for it.
(Sun 23rd Apr 2006, 16:39, More)
» Evidence that you're getting old
The evidence that im getting old is
that with each somatic mitotic cellular division my telomoeres shrink and my genetic material succums to oxidatitive stress, free radical degredation and mutatgenic alterations
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 18:44, More)
The evidence that im getting old is
that with each somatic mitotic cellular division my telomoeres shrink and my genetic material succums to oxidatitive stress, free radical degredation and mutatgenic alterations
(Tue 2nd Nov 2004, 18:44, More)