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Profile for Butthole Surfer:
Profile Info:

I spend far too much time fucking about online, so i ought to make use of the time to make something useless...

Recent front page messages:

i know i pinched some of it...
...but to be fair...it's probably the only event we stick a fair chance of winning...

[edit: my first FP...i'm so happy...i'm welling up *sniff*]


(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 2:25, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Best Graffiti Ever

At the seaside, many years ago...
...when you had to put 2p into toilet doors to get inside....

someone had written...

'It's no use standing on the seat,
The crabs in here can jump six feet,
If you think thats rather high,
Try next door - the bastards fly!!!'

as I was only young at the time (8 or 9), it took a couple more years to realise they meant the other kind of crab - it was the seaside after all....
(Fri 4th May 2007, 15:37, More)

» Cross Dressing

Xmas Cross Dress...
was many moons ago when one xmas, the band i was playing in decided to have the xmas gig we had booked to play, a cross dress affair...

also, the incentive was there for punters (3 in for regular types, 2 for dole scum and 1 for anyone who came cross-dressed) to come already dressed up...

so, the stage was set...

we got one of the bands girlfiends to put our makeup on badly using the worst pound shop style face painting kits. the drummer had his girlfiends white mini-dress on, the guitarist had a netball skirt and top on....not too bad i hear you say...

well, the singer had a small pair of tie-side briefs and a matching bra...under a clear pvc mac....and me....?

as i was with a girl at the time whose entire wardrobe seemed to consist of leather/pvc/rubber (woo for me!) ...and who also had quite large feet (somewhere just smaller than me) the choices were vast....

fishnet stockings, pvc mini-skirt, black leather basque, leather choker, high heeled black leather knee boots (buckles and straps all over them) and a black fur coat....all topped off with a trowel type makeover.

i truly did look like the cheapest 'ho' and i defy anyone to find cheaper within 50 miles on that night...

the funnier thing was seeing my friends leaping off the stage in charity shop dresses and bad wigs...and girls in wartime spiv style suits with painted on handlebar moustache's...

was a great gig too (The Marys, @ the toby jug, doncaster, december 19th) i believe it was 1992, give or take a year, and should anyone who knows me read this and has pics from then, i'd love to see them as i lost touch with the one person who said she had some.... :(

length/girth? it's a nice story involving men in dresses......
(Tue 20th Mar 2007, 21:08, More)

» I'm an expert

Women
I'm an expert at answering wrongly in the 'You should know why I'm mad at you' test.
(Sun 26th Jun 2005, 1:28, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

not me, but.....
there was a girl in my year, who, having been deemed a bit unattractive by most of the year, was given an amusing play on her name (Ruth Dodds)....

Ruff Dogs

oh, and there was actually a black kid in my year called 'Wogger' and it was actually what he answered to...i don't think i ever heard his real name said...

ah, the 70's....
fat girls called 'Sumo'
kids with big ears called 'Tabs'
so un-PC... :D
(Tue 23rd May 2006, 2:26, More)