» Near Death Experiences

I almost killed someone...
when they pulled a knife on me. Me and my partner had our guns drawn ready to shoot and all I could think was "I hope he puts the knife down, my ID photo is really bad and I don't want it in the paper"
(Thu 25th Nov 2004, 12:53, More)

» Pure Ignorance

My Wife is usually really smart ( sorry love), but
Out at Dinner
"I want some of that bread with the garlic on it...what's it called?"

Waiter : "Garlic Bread"

and..
Me: " Sorry I'm late, I was at the scene of a homicide. "

"Oh, I hope no one got hurt"
(Mon 10th Jan 2005, 18:43, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

I had a training course this week
and part of the presentation was on a slide projector. I don't think half the people in the room have ever seen one before...
(Fri 29th Oct 2004, 1:29, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

What's the Worst part
of having sex with a ten year old?



Getting the Blood out of the clown suit.

or

The look in their eyes when you tell them your going to have to kill them.
(Sun 12th Sep 2004, 1:19, More)