» Food sex

I'll never look at fruit pastilles the same...
Similar to Monkey the Chicken's oyster mystery I knew someone at my university who had a much more gruesome experience. Normally I wouldn't post something in qotw if it wasn't my own experience but it just needs to be told.

Basically he was pretty wasted one night on alcohol and weed, as most university students tend to be, and ended up getting with a girl, they started messing around just the normal non edible forms of sexual experimentation at first. But then she thought it would be hot to stick up a roll of fruit pastilles up her womanly orafice and have him eat them out of her. So he stuck 3 up there and went ahead with it, though the 4th one was a bit unexpected but he was off is head so thought nothing of it and passed out somewhere.

Next morning he wakes up with half his face covered in a nasty rash. He went to the doctor, the doctor wasnt sure what it was and at this point he thought it would be a good idea to tell him about the 4th fruit pastille.
'Ah, ok. Basically the 4th one was a genital wart.'

Honestly, it wasn't me.
(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 16:08, More)

» School Projects

Using Initiative
In primary school once we were put into groups and told to make a water-mill. We were shown how to do it, basically a cube shaped wooden frame with a wheel in the middle. Sounded very easy in theory however we were allowed to choose our own groups so I was with my 2 best friends and we wern't too focused on getting it done. In fact we were doing terribly we'd only managed to get half of the wooden frame to stick together so we had a tripod of wood and that was all. Time was running out and the teacher had now announced there was a prize for the group who made the best one and presented it best. So I came up with a suggestion of just calling it a pyramid watermill. So we stuck the wheel in anyway drew some pyramid style walls to stick on the side completely making it like we'd used some great initiative rather than the fact that it was actually only half done. We danced and made a song about it in the presentation and won the prize, I was so proud.
(Thu 13th Aug 2009, 20:30, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

I'm not old.
Haha.

Sucks to be you, you old gits.
(Sun 31st Oct 2004, 20:20, More)

» Shoddy Presents

My grandparents once got me...
A 4 pack of medium sized Yorkshire Puddings for Christmas one year in my youth. I belive this is because this is the only thing they know I like because I try as hard as I can to avoid any sort of contact with them whatsoever.

The Yorkshire's wree mighty good though with my turkey and gravys.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 23:44, More)