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- a member for 19 years, 7 months and 13 days
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» Guilty Laughs
Can't you see that I'm blind?
A few years ago, I left my then employer in London's busy West End and made my way to the nearby tube station, weaving my way through slow-moving tourists with a commuter's disdain and giving a wide berth to an elderly blind gentleman who was happily tapping his way with a white stick. I remember thinking something patronising about how remarkable it was that he was able to function in such a normal way. It was then that I saw another elderly blind gentleman coming the other way on a collision course. Time stood still for a moment. I had time to say something, but I didn't. I couldn't. The elderly blind gentlemen smashed into each other with a volley of outrage and swear words. The slow-moving tourists gasped oh-my-Gods and are-you-alrights as I bent double in uncontrollable laughter.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 2:23, More)
Can't you see that I'm blind?
A few years ago, I left my then employer in London's busy West End and made my way to the nearby tube station, weaving my way through slow-moving tourists with a commuter's disdain and giving a wide berth to an elderly blind gentleman who was happily tapping his way with a white stick. I remember thinking something patronising about how remarkable it was that he was able to function in such a normal way. It was then that I saw another elderly blind gentleman coming the other way on a collision course. Time stood still for a moment. I had time to say something, but I didn't. I couldn't. The elderly blind gentlemen smashed into each other with a volley of outrage and swear words. The slow-moving tourists gasped oh-my-Gods and are-you-alrights as I bent double in uncontrollable laughter.
(Fri 23rd Jul 2010, 2:23, More)
» Putting the Fun in Funeral
We know Major Tom's a junkie...
The hearse that was carrying my grandad from the chapel of rest to the crematorium broke down, meaning that he actually was late for his own funeral!
How we all laughed; all that is except my nan, whose husband had just died.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 17:40, More)
We know Major Tom's a junkie...
The hearse that was carrying my grandad from the chapel of rest to the crematorium broke down, meaning that he actually was late for his own funeral!
How we all laughed; all that is except my nan, whose husband had just died.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 17:40, More)
» Your Weirdest Teacher
Freaky Teachers
*unlurks*
During my time at Bog Standard Comprehensive, we had many a freaky teacher.
By far the weirdest was Mr Hope-Simpson, who would do the front crawl on a desk and argue with himself in the stationery cupboard. Unfortunately he left soon after I started, but his legend lives on.
Also registering highly on the weirdo scale was Mr Burrows. He was an alcoholic science teacher who looked like Columbo. He would sit at the front of the lab and drink "coffee" from a mug. As the lesson went on he would start aggressively shouting at children who were sitting nearby, like a meths-soaked Scotsman on the Northern Line. We didn't ever do experiments in his class, I think the Bunsen burners gave him the fear.
We also had a rather odd history teacher called Mrs Morton who looked like Blanka from Street Fighter II. She used to wear a hairband that was made from her dead mother's hair. The fact that she told us this shows her serious lack of understanding of how cruel kids can be. As did the time that she told us that her husband was once stabbed on a train. How we laughed.
*relurks*
(Fri 11th Nov 2005, 15:29, More)
Freaky Teachers
*unlurks*
During my time at Bog Standard Comprehensive, we had many a freaky teacher.
By far the weirdest was Mr Hope-Simpson, who would do the front crawl on a desk and argue with himself in the stationery cupboard. Unfortunately he left soon after I started, but his legend lives on.
Also registering highly on the weirdo scale was Mr Burrows. He was an alcoholic science teacher who looked like Columbo. He would sit at the front of the lab and drink "coffee" from a mug. As the lesson went on he would start aggressively shouting at children who were sitting nearby, like a meths-soaked Scotsman on the Northern Line. We didn't ever do experiments in his class, I think the Bunsen burners gave him the fear.
We also had a rather odd history teacher called Mrs Morton who looked like Blanka from Street Fighter II. She used to wear a hairband that was made from her dead mother's hair. The fact that she told us this shows her serious lack of understanding of how cruel kids can be. As did the time that she told us that her husband was once stabbed on a train. How we laughed.
*relurks*
(Fri 11th Nov 2005, 15:29, More)