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- a member for 19 years, 7 months and 6 days
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Jobsworths
Application rejected by the police? No problem, become a security guard instead
I have worked in the same building, with the same receptionists and the same security guards for the last eight years. Now, this being a non-smoking building means that I have to go outside for a smoke. Which I do. Almost every hour. So I walk back inside the building and realise I have left my security pass on my desk. Thinking no problem, Mr. Friendly Security Man knows me I nonchalantly stroll past him and say hi. "Sorry Mr. X, you need to show me your pass". "But I left it upstairs, anyway you know me well enough by now". "Yes I do, but sorry Mr. X, you need to get a temporary one made at reception. I can't let you in otherwise, more than my jobs worth". The hairy ring then shows me the direction or reception (I have worked here long enough you doughnut, I know where the pissing reception desk is). At reception "hi can I get a temporary pass please". "sure Mr X, who are you seeing?" "err, me". "Oh, I need someone from your company to endorse it". "But you know me". "Yes I do, but how do I know you haven't been sacked". "??????" ............ what is the point I ask you !!
(Mon 16th May 2005, 16:35, More)
Application rejected by the police? No problem, become a security guard instead
I have worked in the same building, with the same receptionists and the same security guards for the last eight years. Now, this being a non-smoking building means that I have to go outside for a smoke. Which I do. Almost every hour. So I walk back inside the building and realise I have left my security pass on my desk. Thinking no problem, Mr. Friendly Security Man knows me I nonchalantly stroll past him and say hi. "Sorry Mr. X, you need to show me your pass". "But I left it upstairs, anyway you know me well enough by now". "Yes I do, but sorry Mr. X, you need to get a temporary one made at reception. I can't let you in otherwise, more than my jobs worth". The hairy ring then shows me the direction or reception (I have worked here long enough you doughnut, I know where the pissing reception desk is). At reception "hi can I get a temporary pass please". "sure Mr X, who are you seeing?" "err, me". "Oh, I need someone from your company to endorse it". "But you know me". "Yes I do, but how do I know you haven't been sacked". "??????" ............ what is the point I ask you !!
(Mon 16th May 2005, 16:35, More)
» Jobsworths
Hairy Scruttocks
"some girl straight off the boat" - are you really that much of a penis ?
(Tue 17th May 2005, 11:55, More)
Hairy Scruttocks
"some girl straight off the boat" - are you really that much of a penis ?
(Tue 17th May 2005, 11:55, More)
» Local Nutters
The Kingston Rasta
I thought I had better elaborate on the Kingston Upon Thames nutty Rasta mentioned by Peet earlier on - his name is Moses and has been around for the last 23 years hanging outside Burger King on Eden Street chatting shit to anyone who'll listen. Apparently (according to Moses) he is the son of a wealthy African Prince and is only here because he is trying to recruit soldiers for his army so he can carry out a coup. He also claims that he owns half of the town but dresses down to avoid too much attention. Wearing lycra short, skateborading knee pads and the top half of a tuxedo all at the same time never attracts attention in my book. Rumour has it that he is a grass for the police but that has never been verified.
(Tue 21st Sep 2004, 15:25, More)
The Kingston Rasta
I thought I had better elaborate on the Kingston Upon Thames nutty Rasta mentioned by Peet earlier on - his name is Moses and has been around for the last 23 years hanging outside Burger King on Eden Street chatting shit to anyone who'll listen. Apparently (according to Moses) he is the son of a wealthy African Prince and is only here because he is trying to recruit soldiers for his army so he can carry out a coup. He also claims that he owns half of the town but dresses down to avoid too much attention. Wearing lycra short, skateborading knee pads and the top half of a tuxedo all at the same time never attracts attention in my book. Rumour has it that he is a grass for the police but that has never been verified.
(Tue 21st Sep 2004, 15:25, More)